Chapter 5: Cross Roads
Dr. Hannibal Lecter had reached a cross roads of sorts. He had to make a decision and while he had never been prone to indecision, he was now. Two very important individuals in his life would be going through major life changes in the next few days in the United States and he was being drawn to return there. Clarice Starling was retiring from the FBI in a few days and tomorrow, Zachary Matthews, the boy he had taken in and tried to pass on his formidable knowledge to, was being released from the psychiatric hospital he had been ordered to nearly four years ago.
Dr. Lecter sighed. He was torn. He desperately desired to return to the States, to gather his two loved ones close to him and then flee again. His deep desire for life with a wife and children would finally be realized with Clarice and Zachary by his side. But there was his life here; the life he had built with Aurora. For the most part he was happy and content here with her; they fit well together. And there was also the possibility that neither Clarice nor Zachary would want anything to do with him anymore. He had no idea how Zachary felt about him now nor if Clarice still believed that she were truly happy with Will Graham.
He glanced at his watch. It was late, nearly two in the morning. Dr. Lecter had slept little in the last week since reading of Clarice's upcoming retirement. Aurora could tell something was troubling him and she had asked him only once what it was. He had refused to tell her and she knew better than to ask him again. He had told her that he would work it out and anything that she needed to know he would tell her. To most people this treatment would seem harsh but Aurora took it all in stride. Because of her independent spirit, it did not bruise her ego and that was one of the things Dr. Lecter loved most about her; she let him be himself and gave him room to breathe.
Dr. Lecter leaned down lower in his leather recliner, the foot rest raised and his head resting against the back, and reflected once more on his feelings for Aurora. He cared deeply for her. They shared common interests and he taught her how to cook while she taught him the latest theories in psychology. They had grown comfortable with one another although not to the point of boredom. They recognized one another's body language and moods and knew each other's pet peeves. He knew she deeply loved him and loved him unconditionally. She gave herself wholly to him and held nothing back. He wished he could say the same.
He sighed again and rubbed his hand over the stubble already begun on his chin. He closed his eyes and pictured Aurora in her white chiffon robe with her white-blonde hair spilling over her shoulders and down her back. He smiled to himself. He loved her, yes. But he did not love her the way she loved him, he never could. At least not while he was bound spiritually to another; to Clarice Starling, the only woman he could ever truly belong to.
Deep in his reverie, Dr. Lecter did not hear Aurora approach him. Her movements were quiet as a cat's and it was only her scent that gave her away. With his eyes closed, Dr. Lecter breathed in deeply the sweet scent of her and smiled. Aurora sat gently on the arm rest of the recliner and put her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek gently. Her silk pajamas brushed against his arm. She rubbed her smooth, cool cheek against his stubbly one, enjoying the rough feel of it.
"Come back to bed my love," she whispered softly in Spanish as she nuzzled him.
His hand tenderly stroked her long leg and he opened his eyes, smiling at her. "It is late, Aurora. Did my absence awaken you?"
"No," she said and Dr. Lecter saw a brief look of apprehension cross her face.
He raised one eyebrow. Normally Aurora was such a sound sleeper that it was difficult to awaken her. He wondered what could be troubling her. He put his hand under her chin and raised her face to his.
"What is it then?" He asked gently.
Aurora sighed. "It is nothing," she paused and seemed to reconsider but then she shook her head. "Nothing."
He knew better. "Aurora," Dr. Lecter's voice contained a hint of sternness. "What is it?"
She stood up from the recliner abruptly and strode to gaze out the window at the beautiful, clear, star-filled sky. He watched her silently and waited.
"I'm pregnant," Aurora whispered so softly that he almost did not hear her and she continued to stare at the sky, not looking at him.
Dr. Lecter sat up in his chair and lowered the foot rest. He had to admit that he was nearly shocked. He did not allow surprises in his life and he wondered just how he had let this development slip past his notice. But of course he knew how; his preoccupation with Clarice and Zachary over the last week had been so intense that he had noticed little of anything around him which was again so unlike him. He shook his head and wondered what was wrong with him. His gaze fell upon Aurora now at the window and he realized that he could indeed make out the subtleties of her early pregnancy; the fuller breasts, the ever so slight widening of her hips, and she was even more beautiful now that she carried his child.
Fearful of his silence, Aurora turned around suddenly and met his gaze. He saw fire in her eyes; a passion he loved about her. "I have decided to have this baby whether you want to be a part of her life or not," she paused and choked back sudden tears. "I do not expect anything from you. I will do this myself." She stood before him defiantly and independent.
Dr. Lecter grinned slightly and tilted his head as he regarded her. They had never really discussed the matter of children or marriage they had always lived simply day to day enjoying life. He realized now that she assumed he would not want and did not want children. He recalled her last line to him about doing it herself. He stood and went to her, never breaking eye contact.
"You most certainly will not do this yourself," he whispered. "I love you and while this is unplanned that does not mean it is unwanted. We will undertake this adventure together."
Visibly surprised, Aurora could do nothing but stare at him for a moment. At last, seeing he was truthful and meant every word, she smiled and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him close.
"Oh I love you so much Hannibal," Aurora laughed. "I'm so happy."
"I love you too."
Dr. Lecter was no longer torn; the decision had been made for him. Zachary would have to make his own way in the world and despite his feelings for Clarice, Dr. Lecter decided he would work to forget her and let her go. He would live happily with Aurora and their child. He softly kissed her head and felt content for the first time in a week. But he did decide to let Clarice know he was thinking of her.
Author's Note: I know this chapter has been along time coming and I apologize for the length of time in between updates and the shortness of this chapter. My muse for this story seems to have taken a flight of fancy and I sincerely hope she returns soon! I hope you'll stay with me dear readers!
