I cannot believe that it's been over a year since I last posted on this story. I went through some weird things. But I'm trying to come back now and finish my stories! I hope I haven't lost all my faithful readers. Anyway, since its been more than a year, here's a summary of what's going on in the story (this summary is taken from the beginning of chappie 6!): Dr. Lecter is currently living in Spain with a fiery Spanish tart named Aurora who has just turned up pregnant. Clarice and Will are living a happy married life with two kids in the suburbs of Bethesda, Maryland and Clarice is retiring as section chief of the formerly named Behavioral Science division. Oh yes, Zachary Matthews we have come to find out is going to be released from his mental hospital and we learned that his psychotic tendencies and why the Good Doctor chose him was because of his past, the physical, mental, and sexual abuse by his father. We also learned of Zachary's deep seated sexual desire for his mother (who he watched be murdered by his father) and deep seated hatred for her as well for leaving him in the hands of his father. Also we find that the Good Doctor wishes Clarice well on her retirement day and Will feels threatened. He and Clarice argue over Lecter's shadow over their lives. Whew! There, I think that brings us up to date. As always, thank you all so much for your continued reading and reviewing. And the next chapter will NOT be a year in the making!
Chapter 7: Love and War
Clarice woke up late the next morning to a quiet house. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she slowly rolled over in bed and placed her hand gently onto the space where Will should have been. She squinted in the bright light that filtered into the room from behind the blinds on the window and saw that Will was already up and out of bed. Clarice rolled over onto her back and placed her arm over her eyes. She sighed deeply. Her first day of retirement and she had hoped to wake up in her husband's arms. But their fight about Hannibal the night before had left a widening distance between them.
Clarice was not overly surprised by the fact that Will was not in bed but she was surprised that she had yet to hear any noise from within the house. She lifted the arm from her eyes and glanced at the clock: twenty minutes after ten am. Both Serena and John would have awakened hours ago, Clarice knew, and begun their daily whirlwind of activity. Even through the heavy closed bedroom door, she would be able to hear them. Clarice strained her ears but was met with only silence; the kind of silence that causes your ears to ring.
She sighed once more and swung her legs out of bed. Clarice stood up and padded to the door, opening it. She stuck her head out the door and listened again. Still nothing. Puzzled, Clarice turned and walked down the hallway toward the stairs. She loped quickly down the stairs and began to explore the house in search of her family. One of the first rooms she checked was the kitchen; she and Will often left notes for each other on the small dry erase board hanging from the refrigerator. Clarice figured maybe he had taken the kids out. As she walked into the kitchen, she spied Will sitting at the table, his head bent over a manila file folder full of newspaper clippings on Dr. Lecter that she had collected over the years. Clarice had kept the folder locked in her desk at work and had of course brought it home with her last night when she had cleaned out her desk. She had dropped the box with her personal belongings from work next to the door in the kitchen that led to the garage as she had walked through it the night before. A sudden rush of anger flooded through her at the realization that her husband had gone through her personal affects. Will did not look up as she walked in although he knew she was there. Clarice watched him quietly until she had her anger under control. She walked over and leaned up against the kitchen counter across from the table, her arms crossed over her chest defiantly.
"Finding anything of interest?" Clarice finally whispered.
Will looked up and levelly met her gaze. "Only that my wife has an obsession with a madman."
Clarice bit her tongue and swallowed a biting comment. She was determined to not fight with him.
"Will, where are the children?"
"I sent them to the zoo with the nanny," he paused. "We need some time alone."
Clarice smiled thinly. "I agree."
"To talk," Will finished.
"Yes, you wanted to finish our argument from last night," Clarice sighed and ran a hand through her long hair as she often did when frustrated or worried. "Will, I don't want to fight."
"I don't want to fight either, Clarice, but I have come to a decision that you need to hear," Will replied quietly.
Clarice sucked in her breath. He had reached a decision? What did that mean? Was he leaving her? Sudden painful tears sprung to her eyes but she blinked them away, determined not to cry. Will saw her fear and anxiety and wanted desperately to go to her and take her in his arms but he couldn't. He couldn't until he had said what he needed to say.
"I have been up most of the night rehashing all of our arguments over him and debating what we should do. I thought I had finally come to the conclusion that I would trust your decision that he was out of our lives for good. But then I found this," Will gestured to the manila file. "And it became clear to me that while he might be out of our lives, he is not now nor every will be out of your life." He paused and waited for her to meet his gaze. "And I cannot live with that."
Clarice bit her bottom lip. "Will, there is nothing going on between Lecter and I. You must believe that. Those clippings were collected over the years when I was trying to catch him. That's all, I promise."
"Then why do you still have them?" Will asked quietly.
"I don't know," she shook her head slowly. "I guess I just haven't got around to throwing them away yet."
Will hung his head briefly for a moment, exasperated. He sighed. "I cannot keep having these discussions with you Clarice." He looked up at her. "It is clear that as long as he is alive he will be a constant shadow over your life."
Clarice nodded slowly, tears now beginning to spill down her cheeks. "I suppose so."
Neither of them spoke for a few moments, each afraid to voice their thoughts. Finally Clarice broke the silence.
"So what does this mean?" She asked quietly, fearfully.
After a moment, Will looked at her. "It means that I must leave you……or kill him."
Clarice could not believe the words she had just heard from her husband's mouth. Her husband going up against Dr. Lecter and killing him? She glanced quickly at his missing pinky finger and the small round scars in the center of his palms and wrists from his crucifixion. Then she thought of the long jagged scar on his lower left abdomen. Lecter had nearly killed Will. Twice. And here was Will, talking about killing him? She was speechless.
Will shook his head. "Neither choice is a good one. Neither choice leaves me feeling very happy. Honestly, both choices scare me to death."
With her hand lightly covering her mouth in disbelief and tears streaming down her face freely now, Clarice sighed shakily. She looked at him. "I cannot lose you Will. I love you. I need you. I want you."
Will rose quickly and went to her finally. He took her in her arms and kissed the top of her head as his own tears began to fall into her hair.
"Then I guess the decision is made." He said hoarsely. "I love you too."
Clarice began to sob helplessly into his chest.
