Jessie had assessed the situation completely wrong, which made Kellerman want to laugh. She thought he came from money. She didn't think that he had paid for the boat with the money from the (nonexistent) bribes. Suddenly he was really glad that someone had put in a prank order and used his address.
"You are so off base," Kellerman said. "I live on this boat and it's mortgaged up to the hilt. I may not miss any meals, but believe me, I have to be real frugal to keep current with the payments."
"Oh, yeah? Well, then, what's your big problem? I don't see any problems here."
"You never saw my picture in the newspapers, then?"
"No."
Kellerman considered his situation for a moment. The real truth was that he needed to talk to someone about it. Until now, he'd been so alone in his fight to clear his name.
"Before I was in Homicide, I was on the arson squad. About six months ago, me and a few other guys from the squad were investigated for having taken bribes. They were dirty and I knew it, but I wasn't. Our faces were all over the news. Nobody believe that I was innocent, not even my partner. And then yesterday I was basically exonerated. The other arson guys were indicted, but I wasn't. Which is a good thing, but people still don't believe me. The way they look at me when I'm the office; they don't trust me. And if they think they can't trust me, then they won't want me around. They won't want to work with me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to redeem myself in their eyes. I don't know if I'll still be able to be a cop after this."
"Oh, Mike, I'm sorry. I believe you. It's no consolation, I suppose, but I do," Jessie said.
Kellerman nodded. He said, "Do you want to see something?"
He didn't wait for Jessie to answer. He just got up, went down to the kitchen, and came back with his gun. "Do you know what this is? It's my service piece. It was on the kitchen counter. As I was cleaning, I was thinking about it. I was thinking about eating it for dinner."
"Pizza is a much better dinner than metal," Jessie said, her voice quavering.
"Yes, it is," Kellerman said, then tucked the gun into the night table, which is where he normally kept it. He knew he wouldn't be taking out again until his shift started in the morning.
Kellerman looked at Jessie and felt an overwhelming desire for her. Again he couldn't help comparing her with Julianna. Julianne had been by not ten minutes before Jessie had, but when Kellerman had told her to go away, she went. What sort of crazy relationship did they have?
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Kellerman blurted out.
