DISCLAIMER: Buffy and the Scoobies belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon! Selena and her folks belong to me…
Notes: Thanks for the feedback! Hope you still like this …..Next Chapter will have more action as we move to meet the infamous Iolanthe!!
Hope you´re still with me!
FEAR
Buffy shook her head violently. It felt as though somebody had just opened her head and pored all these strange thoughts into her brain. It was not more than a fleeting glance, like hearing parts of a conversation from another room.
It is just as hard for her as it is for you……
If she wants somebody dead ….
Like cold fingers thrumming on her brain.
" Stop it ….." she whispered, squeezing her eyes together. It was Liath´s voice in her head, bits and pieces of his thoughts.
He turned towards her with a worried, ashamed expression.
" Oh ..forgive me , it was careless of me."
He gave her an apologetic smile.
" Sometimes my thoughts wander away from me …..I usually don´t allow them to wander into somebody else´s mind."
Buffy pressed one hand to her forehead, squinting at the white haired fairy in utter confusion. Whatever just happened, it had felt like an ice-cold wind blowing through her head.
So these fragments had been Liath´s thoughts. She had figured as much.
Suddenly the sun on her skin did not feel as warm and comforting as it had just moments ago.
Against her will she had to remember Spike´s warning about dealing with fairys ……..he had been right so far. Every time she thought she had adjusted to the circumstances something new, even more unsettling came up….
She thought about it for a moment.
" What do you mean ……..it is just as hard for her as it is for me?"
Liath looked her in the eyes, arching one dark eyebrow.
She knew that those had been his thoughts, they had not been meant for her ….but now that she heard them, Buffy wanted to know all of it.
She wanted the truth…..she needed the truth. She did not like being kept in the dark.
A lazy smile crept to Liath´s lips. To Buffy it looked self- deprecating and just a little sad.
" You and my cousin have more in common than you might think Buffy Summers. You may not see it now, but it is so.."
The lord of snow leaned back in his chair, folding his elegant, cold hands in his lap.
" The world you live in has made both of you what you are today. You have both paid a price ……"
Great …more mystery talk …just what she needed now! This was almost like talking to the freakin´council!
Buffy gave Liath a disgruntled, impatient look.
" Either answer my question or don´t, okay? But don't go on hinting at this or that because I am tired of games!"
The fairy nodded, his face for once grave and serious.
" The royal court of fairy is just like any other court, slayer. Any human court of old, take your pick ……ancient Egypt, Troy, Rome, England, France…… What it comes down to is that even though most of us are immortal, we are not that different from humans. We know love, hate, anger, sadness, joy…. jealousy…evidently.
The royal court is a viper's nest."
He pursed his lips in distaste as his eyes roamed over the lush garden in front of them.
" Selena told you about Io´s …..shall we say appetites?"
Buffy furrowed her brow, nodding absent minded. Somehow she suspected that now that she had asked for it, she would be hearing some things that – after further consideration- she would prefer to have no knowledge of.
" To live forever can be a gift, but it can be a burden or a curse too. The fairy court´s golden child is not the only one whose interest have gone ….astray..
…over the years. They are like diamonds …..made for eternity, striking in their splendour, shining and bright , the most beautiful monsters you can even imagine. Selena has seen it , lived it for so long after loosing her heart. Now …I fear …my fair cousin is afraid to become one of those monsters herself. She never told me this, but I can see that she fears to wake up one day ……and realize that there is nothing left that can warm her heart."
Buffy stared at him, as understanding finally hit her.
It was not just Selena´s pride or her anger at her cousin that drove her to do all this. It was not her sense of duty ……
Just like Buffy she had built her own little haven in all the madness around her.
Just like she herself had Xander, Giles, Willow, Spike and Dawn ….her own, weird little version of a – albeit at times dysfunctional- family, so had Selena ….
Buffy could not even imagine what it meant to live forever, most creatures she and the scoobies had encountered so far could be killed in one way or another. No matter how overwhelmingly powerful the opponent had been; the master, Adam, Glory , …the first ……sooner or later they had found some weakness, some chink in their armour ……everything could be killed.
Not even vampires were truly immortal …..actually they were a pretty easy kill.
To live eternally, to be a princess at the royal court of fairy, to live through her grief and maintain whatever equalled " humanity" in fairy terms, Selena had surrounded herself with a family of her own making…..her guards.
And like Buffy, Selena would fight, bleed and kill to protect this family from falling apart, from being destroyed.
…..I will not stand by and watch him being destroyed by the cruelty of my own kin ……that was what she had said.
Buffy smiled slightly. This was something she could understand. It did not change that Selena had blackmailed her and threatened Spike…….Buffy knew, but at least now she was a little closer to understanding how the fairy´s mind worked. She understood her reasons.
" So Cay is in love with Selena?" Buffy tried to make the question sound casual, but she could tell from Liath´s mocking glance that she did not really succeed.
The lord of snow chuckled for a moment.
" Oh I wish it were this easy! But then again, love never is right? To say that Cay is in love with my stormborn cousin is like saying that a fish is in love with
the sea. My friend is not just in love with Selena……….he has loved her his whole life."
" She seems to know that."
Liath frowned, trying not to laugh.
" Oh …..of course she does know, everybody at court knows…….still he never acted on it. Oh no, not my noble friend Cay! He stood by as she met Evarion, stood by her when his leaving almost tore her apart…….not for one moment did he even dream of making any kind of advances on her. Watching over her, keeping her safe was all he ever did."
Liath´s lips curved upward in a bitter, cheerless smile.
" I love him like a brother, but my best friend is a fool. Whatever incentive Selena could have given him…letting him know that her heart might change one day….it never changed a thing. He remained righteous, dignified and honourable, distant …..never wavering ….."
He leaned forward, searching the slayer´s face with interest.
" Why did you ask?"
Buffy shrugged, returning his gaze with the same interest she saw in his cold, ice blue eyes.
" You said love had become a cross to bear ……"
He laughed, as though the joke was on him. His laughter sounded even more bitter than Selena´s had before …..like the breaking of ice, a sound almost hurtful.
" Oh ….it has indeed…….but just this time…..I was referring to myself."
Buffy could feel her eyes narrowing, but the lord of snow never flinched from her questioning gaze. His face had become empty and blank, just like that of his cousin before.
An image shot through her mind, the memory of Liath and the red haired woman, the way his hand had hovered just above her smooth, white skin……and for a split second she could see his features contort with a longing so intense that it took Buffy´s breath away.
Sian, lady of fire, ……..the living flame …
" Oh….." Buffy breathed in sudden understanding.
Liath got to his feet in one gracefully liquid movement, looking out over the garden again. He gave Buffy another wry smile that implied that he was mocking himself more than her.
" Right, Mrs. Summers …….another horribly ironic fairy love-story that will never lead anywhere …in love with the only woman in this world or the summer- lands that I cannot touch."
He took a pair of sunglasses out of his breast-pocket and put them on.
" Such a beautiful day ….you should take a dip in the pool!"
