Title - Trust (10/10)
Author - Moneypenny
Feedback - yes please, to Miss_mp45@yahoo.co.uk
Rating - PG13
Archive - If anyone would like this then yes, feel free. Just tell me where.
Disclaimers - see part one
************
It was fortunate there weren't any Marine guards in the parking lot, Harm reflected wryly as he reached the pool car Harriet had arranged for he and Mac. The selection of meds the doctor had prescribed the night before were rattling around loudly in the bottom of his briefcase; he was lucky he wasn't getting busted for drug dealing. As much as he hated to admit it though, he wouldn't have made it to work without them. They took the edge off the pain. The downside was that he'd woken up feeling like he'd had one too many beers the night before.
Unlocking the car, he slid into the driver's seat. Tilting his head back, he sunk into the upholstery and closed his eyes. Just for a minute, he told himself as the now familiar little voice berated him for slacking on the job. In a couple of minutes he'd be ready to face the world again. He'd be ready to face Mac.
Waking up in the hospital the night before he'd been so grateful to see her. He hated hospitals: the smell, the noise, the feeling of being out of control. Maybe he should have told her that he realised as his mind pulled out the memory and played it over. Now all he'd done was upset her and he wasn't even sure how.
Because that's what you do, the voice reminded him. You screw things up.
Tiredly he swatted the voice away. He knew what he was, what he'd done. Robinson had spent enough time last night reminding him. Perhaps that was why he felt so exhausted; the few hours sleep he had grabbed the night before hadn't exactly been peaceful. Mac had offered to stay but he'd persuaded her to go, still doped up enough on the painkillers he'd been given to think he was invincible.
Now, in the cold light of day and only partly doped up, he remembered how preoccupied she'd been as she'd driven him home. She'd kept glancing at him; her expression indecipherable to his drug fogged mind. Playing the memory back he frowned, his gut twisting as he focused on her dark, expressive eyes.
He didn't deserve the concern he saw there. And he shouldn't have put her through that in the first place. As for lying to her, back there in the office... He owed her so much more than just an apology. He didn't even know where to begin. At the beginning, he decided, logic kicking in for a brief moment. When she came down to the car he'd apologise. It wouldn't be enough but at least it was a start. And when this was all over he'd make it up to her. He wasn't sure how but he'd think of something.
Opening his eyes he shifted against the dull ache in his shoulder and side. It_was_better, he told himself, blanking out the fact that it had taken all his energy to get out of bed that morning. The doctor had good intentions but he knew how the game was played too. She'd been covering herself; he was a lawyer, he knew all about lawsuits. A few weeks and his shoulder would be good as new again.
Getting out of the physio appointments might be a bit more difficult though he decided, glancing at his watch as he thought that over. Mac had let the subject drop for now but he was under no illusions about how long that would last. All he needed was a few weeks breathing space though; time to prove Shayler had known exactly what he was doing when he pulled the trigger. Time too to prove to his friends - and to himself - that he deserved his position in the JAG corp. Better pray you can, the little voice prodded spitefully, because they aren't going to let you keep your wings.
With a shake of his head he consigned that thought to the deepest recesses of his mind. Swallowing down a wave of nausea he checked his watch again. Where the hell was Mac? When he'd said ten minutes he'd meant ten minutes. And Mac was never late. That, he decided with a small grin a moment later, was what he got for upsetting a Marine. This apology of yours is going to have to be good Rabb, damn good.
Resigned to waiting a while longer, he got as comfortable as he could in the restricted space. Eyes half-closed against the glare of the early morning sunshine, he ran through his plan of action for the day: the interviews followed by dinner with Mac - hopefully - leaving him the rest of the night to work on the Robinson case. Sleep, he'd decided over the previous few weeks, was highly overrated, particularly when he had people gate-crashing his dreams every night. At least now he had something to occupy the long, dark hours; with the information he'd lifted from the files that Mac had left on his desk he had somewhere to start from.
Satisfied with his game plan, he was about to check his watch again when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Squinting into the sunlight he watched as Bud crossed the parking lot towards him. Correction: Bud was_striding_ across the parking lot towards him. Frowning, Harm got out of the car, leaning on the doorframe as he waited for the young Lieutenant to join him.
"Problem?" he asked, deliberately keeping his tone light, despite the alarm bells going off in his head; shifting from one foot to the other Bud looked as uncomfortable as a cat on a hot tin roof.
"The Admiral would like to see you, Sir," Bud explained, his tone polite as always.
Harm felt his frown turn into scowl. "Now, Bud? Colonel Mackenzie and I are due-"
With a shake of his head, Bud cut in. "Now, Sir."
His friend's whole demeanour was screaming 'trouble' Harm realised. Not that he needed to look at Bud to know that; the sudden surge and void of his own stomach was warning enough.
"Okay," he conceded, putting on his best poker face as he reached back in the car for his briefcase. "Let's go." Straightening back up, he found Bud standing beside him, looking even more nervous than he had before.
"The Admiral asked me to take your files, Sir."
The look in Bud's eyes, pleading with him to understand, set Harm's alarm bells ringing even louder. How the hell had the Admiral found out that he'd copied information from Robinson's files? It had only been ten minutes...
"The case files you and Colonel Mackenzie are working on, Sir," Bud carried on explaining, oblivious to his superior officer's inner turmoil.
Incredulously Harm stared back at him, comprehension stirring at the back of his mind. "The Admiral's taking me_off_ the case?"
Nervously, Bud edged away. "May I have the files, Sir?"
Harm glared at him, pinning him to the spot. "Is he reassigning the case, Bud?"
"You'll have to ask the Admiral, Sir."
"Bud..."
His eyes full of sympathy, Bud met his gaze before looking away. Harm felt the blood drain out of his face as he watched his world crumble around him, already knowing what Bud would say next.
"I'm sorry, Sir. Yes he is."
***************
~ Back to present day - Roberts' residence ~
Shaking her mind free of the memories, Mac dragged herself back to the present. To her surprise she felt tears trickling down her face. Angrily she wiped them away. She was a Marine, not some love-sick teenager she reminded herself. And Harm was a big boy; he was old enough to look after himself.
Still lying in her arms, baby AJ shuffled in his sleep. Cuddling him closer, she murmured some meaningless words of reassurance. With a soft sigh he settled down again, his small fist tightening around hers.
The simple gesture had her blinking tears away again. She had no right to be crying over anything. She'd known what the Admiral would do when she told him about Harm's visit to the hospital. Hell, hadn't that been the whole point of going to see him? She'd wanted Harm to follow the doctor's orders and now that was exactly what was happening. The Admiral had stood him down for a week, maybe more depending on what the hospital recommended. And he'd ordered Harm to attend the physiotherapy sessions, including the one earlier that afternoon.
Part of her knew that she'd done the right thing. She just hadn't expected it to hurt so much. Harm hadn't said a word to her as he'd left the Admiral's office; angry words would have been easier to accept than the way he'd totally ignored her. Now she was worried sick about him and she had no way of finding out how he was. He'd trusted her and she'd betrayed him. Perhaps it had been for the right reasons but she doubted Harm was seeing it that way right now. Cuddling AJ closer she gave into the tears and let them fall.
*******
TBC in Part Two
Author - Moneypenny
Feedback - yes please, to Miss_mp45@yahoo.co.uk
Rating - PG13
Archive - If anyone would like this then yes, feel free. Just tell me where.
Disclaimers - see part one
************
It was fortunate there weren't any Marine guards in the parking lot, Harm reflected wryly as he reached the pool car Harriet had arranged for he and Mac. The selection of meds the doctor had prescribed the night before were rattling around loudly in the bottom of his briefcase; he was lucky he wasn't getting busted for drug dealing. As much as he hated to admit it though, he wouldn't have made it to work without them. They took the edge off the pain. The downside was that he'd woken up feeling like he'd had one too many beers the night before.
Unlocking the car, he slid into the driver's seat. Tilting his head back, he sunk into the upholstery and closed his eyes. Just for a minute, he told himself as the now familiar little voice berated him for slacking on the job. In a couple of minutes he'd be ready to face the world again. He'd be ready to face Mac.
Waking up in the hospital the night before he'd been so grateful to see her. He hated hospitals: the smell, the noise, the feeling of being out of control. Maybe he should have told her that he realised as his mind pulled out the memory and played it over. Now all he'd done was upset her and he wasn't even sure how.
Because that's what you do, the voice reminded him. You screw things up.
Tiredly he swatted the voice away. He knew what he was, what he'd done. Robinson had spent enough time last night reminding him. Perhaps that was why he felt so exhausted; the few hours sleep he had grabbed the night before hadn't exactly been peaceful. Mac had offered to stay but he'd persuaded her to go, still doped up enough on the painkillers he'd been given to think he was invincible.
Now, in the cold light of day and only partly doped up, he remembered how preoccupied she'd been as she'd driven him home. She'd kept glancing at him; her expression indecipherable to his drug fogged mind. Playing the memory back he frowned, his gut twisting as he focused on her dark, expressive eyes.
He didn't deserve the concern he saw there. And he shouldn't have put her through that in the first place. As for lying to her, back there in the office... He owed her so much more than just an apology. He didn't even know where to begin. At the beginning, he decided, logic kicking in for a brief moment. When she came down to the car he'd apologise. It wouldn't be enough but at least it was a start. And when this was all over he'd make it up to her. He wasn't sure how but he'd think of something.
Opening his eyes he shifted against the dull ache in his shoulder and side. It_was_better, he told himself, blanking out the fact that it had taken all his energy to get out of bed that morning. The doctor had good intentions but he knew how the game was played too. She'd been covering herself; he was a lawyer, he knew all about lawsuits. A few weeks and his shoulder would be good as new again.
Getting out of the physio appointments might be a bit more difficult though he decided, glancing at his watch as he thought that over. Mac had let the subject drop for now but he was under no illusions about how long that would last. All he needed was a few weeks breathing space though; time to prove Shayler had known exactly what he was doing when he pulled the trigger. Time too to prove to his friends - and to himself - that he deserved his position in the JAG corp. Better pray you can, the little voice prodded spitefully, because they aren't going to let you keep your wings.
With a shake of his head he consigned that thought to the deepest recesses of his mind. Swallowing down a wave of nausea he checked his watch again. Where the hell was Mac? When he'd said ten minutes he'd meant ten minutes. And Mac was never late. That, he decided with a small grin a moment later, was what he got for upsetting a Marine. This apology of yours is going to have to be good Rabb, damn good.
Resigned to waiting a while longer, he got as comfortable as he could in the restricted space. Eyes half-closed against the glare of the early morning sunshine, he ran through his plan of action for the day: the interviews followed by dinner with Mac - hopefully - leaving him the rest of the night to work on the Robinson case. Sleep, he'd decided over the previous few weeks, was highly overrated, particularly when he had people gate-crashing his dreams every night. At least now he had something to occupy the long, dark hours; with the information he'd lifted from the files that Mac had left on his desk he had somewhere to start from.
Satisfied with his game plan, he was about to check his watch again when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Squinting into the sunlight he watched as Bud crossed the parking lot towards him. Correction: Bud was_striding_ across the parking lot towards him. Frowning, Harm got out of the car, leaning on the doorframe as he waited for the young Lieutenant to join him.
"Problem?" he asked, deliberately keeping his tone light, despite the alarm bells going off in his head; shifting from one foot to the other Bud looked as uncomfortable as a cat on a hot tin roof.
"The Admiral would like to see you, Sir," Bud explained, his tone polite as always.
Harm felt his frown turn into scowl. "Now, Bud? Colonel Mackenzie and I are due-"
With a shake of his head, Bud cut in. "Now, Sir."
His friend's whole demeanour was screaming 'trouble' Harm realised. Not that he needed to look at Bud to know that; the sudden surge and void of his own stomach was warning enough.
"Okay," he conceded, putting on his best poker face as he reached back in the car for his briefcase. "Let's go." Straightening back up, he found Bud standing beside him, looking even more nervous than he had before.
"The Admiral asked me to take your files, Sir."
The look in Bud's eyes, pleading with him to understand, set Harm's alarm bells ringing even louder. How the hell had the Admiral found out that he'd copied information from Robinson's files? It had only been ten minutes...
"The case files you and Colonel Mackenzie are working on, Sir," Bud carried on explaining, oblivious to his superior officer's inner turmoil.
Incredulously Harm stared back at him, comprehension stirring at the back of his mind. "The Admiral's taking me_off_ the case?"
Nervously, Bud edged away. "May I have the files, Sir?"
Harm glared at him, pinning him to the spot. "Is he reassigning the case, Bud?"
"You'll have to ask the Admiral, Sir."
"Bud..."
His eyes full of sympathy, Bud met his gaze before looking away. Harm felt the blood drain out of his face as he watched his world crumble around him, already knowing what Bud would say next.
"I'm sorry, Sir. Yes he is."
***************
~ Back to present day - Roberts' residence ~
Shaking her mind free of the memories, Mac dragged herself back to the present. To her surprise she felt tears trickling down her face. Angrily she wiped them away. She was a Marine, not some love-sick teenager she reminded herself. And Harm was a big boy; he was old enough to look after himself.
Still lying in her arms, baby AJ shuffled in his sleep. Cuddling him closer, she murmured some meaningless words of reassurance. With a soft sigh he settled down again, his small fist tightening around hers.
The simple gesture had her blinking tears away again. She had no right to be crying over anything. She'd known what the Admiral would do when she told him about Harm's visit to the hospital. Hell, hadn't that been the whole point of going to see him? She'd wanted Harm to follow the doctor's orders and now that was exactly what was happening. The Admiral had stood him down for a week, maybe more depending on what the hospital recommended. And he'd ordered Harm to attend the physiotherapy sessions, including the one earlier that afternoon.
Part of her knew that she'd done the right thing. She just hadn't expected it to hurt so much. Harm hadn't said a word to her as he'd left the Admiral's office; angry words would have been easier to accept than the way he'd totally ignored her. Now she was worried sick about him and she had no way of finding out how he was. He'd trusted her and she'd betrayed him. Perhaps it had been for the right reasons but she doubted Harm was seeing it that way right now. Cuddling AJ closer she gave into the tears and let them fall.
*******
TBC in Part Two
