To the reviewers (who manage to brighten my day every time; in no particular order):
The Legend Keeper: Damn you're a fast reader. Reminds me of me. XD
Stormy1x2: Stoooorrrrmmmyyyyyy! Woo! ^^ I can't believe I missed that part-chapter you posted for an ENTIRE MONTH! Geez! X.x;
Crysania Fay: But they're so cute when they're spiteful… ^^
DarrkKat: …. *meekly* kay?
CuriousDreamWeaver: Not yet…..But you never know with those tempers….
Tursi: What I wouldn't give to hug them 3 3
Bakagami101: I hate when people make Quatre too refined to swear… he was a Gundam Pilot!
And the rest of you, big hearts to you! 3 You guys are great.
Without further adieu: the confrontation and the history of Draco and Harry. This is my gift to you, as it is this fic's one year anniversary as of the 15th (hopefully when this chapter shows up)
[edit 16th – I'm stupid, and the anni was on the 13th. Blargle.]
Chapter 32
The sound of owls hooting had never been a particularly abhorred sound, especially during reconnaissance missions. Silence had been, of course, preferred over anything, but the echoing of a bird's call could mask an intake of breath, or a stumble.
Not that Heero Yuy had ever stumbled, but the point was that an owl could have masked it with its hooting.
Regardless of that fact, the numerous owls hooting and fluttering their wings throughout the Owlrey did not drown out the sound of Heero's footsteps, as he had not wanted them to be muffled. Sneaking up on an ex-terrorist was an idiotic idea at best.
He found Duo seated against a wall of the large, musky smelling room. Heero wanted to think that Duo had chosen the wall with the least amount of mess lining it, but then decided that it didn't really matter. Wordlessly he sat next to Duo, and watched him play with the small black owl he'd dubbed Shinigami, prodding the owl with a piece of the straw that lined the floorboards.
For a few moments the two pilots merely sat in silence, both reluctant to breach the tentative truce they'd formed within the Owlrey walls. Heero decided that, since he'd been the one to seek Duo out, that he would begin the conversation. Before he was able to do so, though, Duo spoke up.
"This place has no relief zones," he muttered, watching as Odin fluttered down next to Shinigami, and they both attacked the piece of straw in his hand. "I'm on edge everywhere."
"This world has everyone on edge," Heero replied, keeping his tone level with Duo's. It was as though they were keeping a secret from the hundreds of owls around them, and neither wanted to raise their voices anymore.
"Quatre's been going stir crazy," Duo informed him, leaning his head back against the wall behind them. "He's constructed a map of the castle with five different escape routes on it, and plans of escape should anything come up."
"Wufei does a perimeter check of our room every time we return to it," Heero added, drawing on knee up and draping his arm over it. If the fact that the robe revealed some of his leg in that position bothered him, Heero didn't show it. "Trowa assesses every student that approaches him, or that passes by him in the hallway, for strengths and weaknesses."
"And potential weaponry." Heero nodded. "So, how about you? What paranoia are you indulging in?"
"None," Heero replied evenly. Duo shot him an incredulous look, and Heero added, "at the moment."
"So what paranoia were you indulging in?" Duo rephrased his question. Heero smirked slightly.
"I have assessed everyone in this school, and the one that poses the biggest threat is Hagrid."
"The biggest physical threat," Duo said with a sigh. Heero nodded.
"The threat we're used to."
"The threat we have to get unused to pretty fucking fast." Duo shifted his position so that he was angled more towards Heero. Odin fluttered in between them, followed immediately by Shinigami. Duo smiled affectionately at them both. "Shini's always… tagging along. Following Odin around."
"Perhaps," Heero drew out, delving towards the topic he'd come to discuss. "Shinigami can't help but follow his other half?"
Duo paused, eyes flicking up to Heero's face. "They're two separate owls," he pointed out, fishing for a deeper explanation. He wasn't disappointed.
"Surrounded by hundreds of other owls," Heero conceded, nodding. "But they're the only small ones. They're the only ones that are so different that everyone will notice. Doesn't it make sense that they'd want to stay together?"
"Odin doesn't follow Shinigami," Duo said, gesturing to the yellow owl. Heero shook his head, looking around the Owlrey and away from the boy beside him.
"But he does, even if he doesn't notice it. Or maybe he's so used to Shinigami following him that he doesn't question it, and expects it, but he's still following him. Maybe… he's so used to Shingami being there, that he doesn't realize that Shinigami is only trying to keep up with him to help him, while Odin's fighting to keep up with everything that's coming his way."
"All right, now tell me what you're saying without the analogy," Duo told his companion not unkindly. Blue eyes held his for a moment.
"I'm still trying to keep up with you, even though I usually don't realize it," Heero admitted slowly. "I want… to know you'll always be there to help me, even if I take my time catching up to you. I want… what Harry and Draco have, with you." Duo's eyes widened, but the braided boy kept silent. "But I want a lot of things. I want peace to continue. I want to never see a Gundam again. I want to save Draco. I want to stay close to the other pilots."
"Heero," Duo murmured, eyes narrowing in contemplation.
"You know what you feel," the Wing pilot whispered, leaning his elbow on his knee and shoving fingers into his tangled mane of hair. "I'm trying to figure it out, but fuck. I can't do it… here."
"I'm not asking you to," Duo told him. Heero was the person he cared for more than anyone – it hurt to see him so distressed.
"But you want me to," Heero pointed out. Duo didn't bother denying it. "And I want to figure it out, too. This place is just so… fucking unnerving. I…" Heero trailed off, his stuttering very uncharacteristic of him. That alone told Duo just how stressed Heero was. "I'm sorry, Duo, that I can't… figure this out."
A warm smile spread across Duo's face, and the lithe boy shifted over towards his companion, nudging the owls out of the way and sliding a comforting arm around the soldier's shoulders. Heero was reluctant to let Duo close to him initially, but after a bit of forced relaxation, Heero allowed his body to be pulled into a loose embrace.
"Heero," Duo murmured, for a moment disregarding the fact that they were former terrorists - boys who'd lived too few years to feel as old as they did. For a moment they were just teenagers, one of whom was distressed, and the other was in love. Duo leaned forward, curling his other arm around the front of Heero's torso loosely. "Heero," Duo repeated the name softly, a small smile playing on his lips.
"Duo," Heero murmured in response, giving into the Deathscythe pilots tugging and leaning on his companion's shoulders. He felt the press of lips on his forehead, his cheekbone, and a chaste touch to his lips. Heero sighed quietly, resting for a moment, the anxiety of the day catching up to him for a moment.
"Why you bother to be such a stubborn ass all the time?" Duo breathed into Heero's hair, eyes half lidded as he let his guard down for a short while. "I will never understand."
"Keeps you on your toes," came the reply. Duo laughed softly, laying his head on Heero's own.
"When we get home, Heero, you and I are going to have a long, long talk."
"All right," Heero murmured back. Duo stopped talking for a few moments to allow the scene they made to truly sink into his head, and to avoid unnecessarily rousing Heero from his relaxed state. Heero was most definitely not sleeping – there was no way the soldier would be that trusting in such an unknown environment, regardless of how comfortable Duo made him.
Duo began contemplating the events of the day when the Owlrey door slammed open.
The two boys were on their feet in seconds, defensive postures coming automatically. It happened so fast Duo didn't even have time to mourn the loss of Heero leaned up against him – although he was sure he would later.
Tense and wary, the boys regarded the one who treaded on their moment of peace. Professor McGonagall stared back at them with a glare.
"You two," she began menacingly. "Are in much trouble."
"If it's about missing most of Potions," Duo started to reply, but McGonagall cut him off.
"You two boys have no regard for the rules set up in this school! I don't know why the Headmaster chooses to humor you-"
"What is it with you, lady?" Duo demanded, startling a few of the owls around him. "You're always on my case!"
"Mr. Maxwell, I assure you that I'm-"
"Oh cut the shit," Duo interrupted in turn, face coloring angrily. He felt Heero's gaze on him, but pressed on. "Yeah, sure, you're trying to keep an eye on the suspicious new students, but that doesn't mean you have the right to act like a bitch!"
McGonagall's eyes narrowed dangerously, and if the boys had been normal students they would have been intimidated. "I doubt that the use of profanity was necessary, and most definitely not acceptable, and I will be speaking to the Headmaster about this and perhaps adding to your already lengthy detention sentence."
Duo rolled his eyes and gave her a challenging look, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe it wasn't necessary, but it sure as hell got your attention a lot faster than 'you're a big meanie'."
The woman huffed angrily, glaring at the two small owls hovering around her. They seemed to be angry at her for some reason. "You boys will accompany me – there will be no more skipping class today, and especially not my class."
Duo bowed elegantly, gesturing towards the door. "Lead the way."
McGonagall gave one more scathing glare and moved out of the room. They heard her stop to wait, and could make out the sound of her foot tapping impatiently. Duo sighed and looked to his companion, who was staring back with a hint of regret on his face. Duo dredged up a smile and gripped Heero's hand for a moment before letting go heading out after the irate professor.
Heero glanced around the Owlrey once more. This is a relief zone, he decided, designating it as such. He doubted they would use it in the future, but was glad that they'd gotten at least a brief respite. Schooling his face once more, Heero went to follow McGonagall and the boy called Death, leaving the calling birds and his moment with Duo behind.
***
Draco Malfoy has, and always will be, a rich, stuck-up prat.
I've always known this, as well. I don't know why I thought that once Draco's parents died that he would magically change, that somehow losing the people that controlled him would actually convince the boy to be sympathetic towards another orphan, but I admit that, stupidly, I did.
The first time I approached him he told me to sod off and mind my own fucking business.
The second time I approached him he said the same thing, except he added, "you're a bloody prat" to his tirade.
I didn't approach him for a while after that, because I noticed that we were both receiving unwanted attention. Hermione and Ron were demanding to know what I was thinking, trying to consort with Draco Malfoy of all bloody people, and the Syltherins were jeering at Draco more often than usual.
Around this time I noticed that in my mind he was no longer Malfoy, but Draco. I blamed it on sympathy – Draco had lost his parents for Christ's sake, no matter how bloody evil they were. It didn't matter that they were Voldemort's lackeys, that they probably practiced curses in their sons' presence – parents are something you shouldn't have to lose.
Nobody else shared my sentiment, of course. Ron kept going on about how bloody ignorant I was to want to befriend – I don't know where he got that from, but apparently trying to approach Draco translated to trying to befriend him – a git like Malfoy.
Sirius, unfortunately, wasn't much help either. I didn't even bother asking Hermione what she thought, considering Draco still called her a "Mudblood" on occasion. No doubt she was angry with me as well, and I had no idea what I should say to them in my defense. What could I say? I had no idea what I was feeling.
Even though he was still a righteous prat, I felt like there was something… missing. Some of the things he said to me felt forced.
And me, being the stubborn guy I am, decided to find out about it. I did some subtle questioning around, asking people in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and even Hufflepuff a few well-placed comments and questions. 'Draco seems quiet lately,' usually got the response: 'his parents are dead, he's probably grieving, the poor thing' from the girls, and from the boys I got 'good for the ponce.'
Once and awhile though, I managed to hear a very interesting piece of gossip, such as what I got from Kyra Lennon(1) , a seventh year Ravenclaw. 'He's living with Snape now, since he's too young to live on his own. Plus the Ministry won't allow him to live with some of his relatives – I don't blame them, they'd probably eat him. But really, wouldn't you be subdued if you had to put up with Snape all of the time?'
After that, I felt even more sympathetic towards Draco. I mean, sure he liked Professor Snape, but to live with the greasy, ugly git? I'd feel sorry for anyone who had to put up with him all the time!
I suppose, looking back, that sleuthing around about Draco was also better than the alternative: think about Cedric, or deal with Cho. Cho had been a mess since she returned to Hogwarts; I'd been surprised she'd returned at all, really. I'd avoided the Asian girl as though she had the plague. Students were still looking at me with looks of contempt, since it was still close to the time of Cedric's death. Most didn't know about Voldemort, and with the Ministry covering things up, who could blame them?
I took the stares, and the occasional confrontations, in the best stride I could. Honestly, what could I do about it? Hermione kept saying 'they'll get over it, just give it time' and Ron just shook his head and said 'I haven't a clue, Harry.'
And so began my renewed pursuit of Draco Malfoy, the one person who knew Voldemort killed Cedric, and the one person that could understand me.
Draco had lost something irreplaceable to Lord Voldemort, just like me. Not even Ron, Hermione and I had that sort of connection. I intended to fully explore it.
With no help from Draco, of course.
'Potter, get the fuck out of my face and leave me alone,' was a favorite line of his, whenever I'd corner him and try talking to him – which was pretty damn often. You'd be amazed at how easy it is to lose Ron and Hermione, and how often Draco Malfoy is alone, either in a corridor somewhere or outside, flying or even walking.
For about a week, I confronted him twice a day. 'You an' me are connected now, Malfoy,' I'd say, and he'd stare at me with those weird gray eyes of his. 'Sod off,' he'd reply.
I think I wore him down, though. I was always in his face whenever he got a moment alone. Do I know why? Why did I pursue this recently-orphaned boy that I should hate with the entirety of my being?
I haven't a fucking clue, but I did.
How was I supposed to know what my constant presence was doing to him? How was I supposed to know that by showing up in his private moments I was only fueling some wicked obsession he'd stored away? How was I supposed to know he was slowly losing his patience, and his self-control was being chipped at every time I told him we were connected?
I realized it pretty damn fast. Somewhere between Draco throwing me up against a classroom wall and when he began ravaging me with his mouth I realized it: Draco Malfoy was only as obsessed with me as I was with him.
So what did I do upon realizing this? Did I sigh in ecstasy and melt into his arms, professing my undying love?
Fuck no. I kneed that bastard in the crotch and got the hell out of there.
From that moment on our roles had completely reversed: instead of me chasing him, he chased me. A stolen kiss in an empty hallway, a grope in a crowded one; pointed looks in class, the weight of his stare always on me, everywhere.
I felt like he was watching me when I used the lavatory, for Christ's sake! It was insane!
At the same time, it was probably the most invigorating period in my entire life. Eventually I stopped fighting – why fight something that felt so good? Not even facing Voldemort held the same adrenalin I got from running around with Draco Malfoy. Soon we were pursuing each other, hiding away in abandoned classrooms, sneaking up to the Astronomy tower, snogging behind armored statues in the hallways.
For the rest of fifth year my life was school and Draco, Draco and school. Sometimes school was even pushed aside, especially once we discovered sex. Sex and Draco Malfoy was much too irresistible.
If Ron and Hermione noticed my newfound distance they said nothing, assuming I was still guilt-ridden over Cedric Diggory and continuing to pine after Cho Chang. I did, sometimes, feel overwhelmed and needed to escape from Gryffindor for awhile, suffocated with memories of Cedric's last moments. Instead of rushing to solitude, however, I ran to Draco.
Draco became my solitude, and I his. It took months before we were comfortable (ha – we'd been shagging steadily by then) enough with each other to share secrets. I told him of Sirius, he told me of his parents. I told him of Voldemort, he told me of Lucius Malfoy. He told me of torture and pain, I told him of dreams filled with blood and torment.
Within each other we found solace and, of all things we expected to find, a relationship that helped support us during hard times. When more students turned up missing or dead near the end of fifth year we sought each other out, and we slept together just to have the comfort of someone waking next to you – someone that could protect you, even if you couldn't protect them.
And when we left each other for the summer we thought it would end, that we couldn't possibly continue our relationship over such a long term – especially with my return to the Weasley's.
Fortunately, Ron's mum decided that I could have as much solitude as I needed. Draco and I met in Diagon Alley; he would rent a hotel room, I would arrive with my Invisibility Cloak, and we'd rediscover each other all over again.
It was hard, of course, but we fought. What we'd found was a bond so strong – filled with bickering and fighting of course, he hadn't changed that much – that nobody could hope to damage it.
Until five mysterious boys that acted like soldiers appeared on the first day of school, and our lives were suddenly filled with new faces and names. I knew that over the next few weeks we'd be hard-pressed for time alone together, and this stressed me out, I admit.
That was no real reason to confront him about his newfound friendship with Heero Yuy, but I suppose it was more shock than anything. Other than the occasional conversation with the Slytherins, the only person Draco talked to was me. I guess seeing that he could still befriend people put me on edge, an edge that he quickly rid me of.
It's hard to argue with someone when they have their lips plastered to your neck, you know?
Losing him was a shock to my system that even now I don't think I've grasped. One moment he was there, screaming and fighting and shocked to see his father still living, and the next…
He was gone.
I can honestly say I have never felt so lost in my entire life. Draco had become such a constant in my life that I couldn't imagine living without him there. I tried to keep up a façade with Ron, but it was so hard to try and forget… that he was gone…
Last night I had a dream. Draco was chained to a wall, shirtless. Normally this would be a wonderful dream, except he was covered in blood. Blood dripped from wounds in his chest, his arms, his back, his face…
My heart shattered seeing that, I think. Seeing him in that kind of pain… my Draco, bruised and battered and scared. I could feel it – his fear was so strong it was tangible. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave.
When I woke up he'd been screaming and crying my name. Tears had covered my face, and I'd had to forcibly restrain my sobs until I had put up a silence ward.
It was then, waking, that I made my decision.
I refuse to wake up hearing Draco's screams in my head, and seeing his bloody face behind my eyes.
I'm going to get my lover back, or I'll die trying.
***
(1) My homage to Kyra, should she still be reading this. I still appreciate her help with the timetables.
The fifteenth is this fic's one year anniversary!!! WOW! O.o
I wanna thank you guys for sticking around so long… This fic should be done before Christmas.
Unless something completely unexpected shows up and ruins my plan. Bah.
