Back again, with part the second! Hope you like it.

DISCLAIMER: Last I checked, I still didn't own either of them.

Chapter 2: The Disappearing Plot...

10 years later...

Well... not really, actually not that long since the last chapter, but ten years is supposed to have passed, even if it hasn't. I mean, we could show a clock going really fast, or calendar pages being torn off, but we just figured to put a subtitle up. Even if it's wrong...

...I mean, a better subtitle would be:

Not really 10 years later, but 10 years later.

Camera pans across a lot of photos of Bandit Keith, in his sumo wrestler outfit, doing various children's activities. The first time he beat the stuffing out of a five year old, the first time he stole money from a shop. Photographs of a drunken Pegasus at Dumpy's birthday party, and of a homicidal Mr. Doobie. There were also copies of his school grades, ranging from his highest, 'F', to his lowest, 'If I see this child again, I will throw him out of the school'. There was nothing to indicate that Hairis had not been strangled the moment he was found.

But Hairis was still alive.

Mrs. Doobie staggered his/her way to a cupboard underneath the stairs, and breathed alcohol down through the vent and onto Hairis.

"Time to get up, Yugi-boy."

Inside the cupboard, Yugi and Yami were...

Doing something they shouldn't be, best not think on it too much. We'll just wait until they're done, shall we?

Hairis woke up and fumbled around cutely for his glasses, while rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He'd been having that nightmare again, about a huge man with a tattooed face and a suicidal motorbike ride... He'd needed Yami to help drive the bad memories away.

Pegasus came back to tell him in a slurred way about not burning the bacon, while he went to watch the deranged rabbit.

"Kuso..." Yugi muttered after his aunt, and went out to attend to breakfast.

The kitchen contained enough presents to sink the Titanic. Well, probably not that much, but at least enough to cause a small child to pass out before opening half. Most of it just appeared to be random junk, wrapped haphazardly in anything the wrapper could get their hands on. Boxes of cat food, an old bike tyre, a few pieces of a computer... Props must have had to raid the tip to get this much stuff.

Now that Hairis was out of the dark cupboard it was more obvious how short he was. He could be considered petite, mostly by his Yami, and had the exact same appearance as he did 10 years/one chapter ago.

At that time, Dumpy came into the kitchen, and Hairis took perverse pleasure in watching him try to get his bulk through the doorway, eventually managing it with a resounding 'POP'. Yugi sniggered at Bandit Keith, now wedged between the refrigerator and the oven, and took the breakfast of re-heated Bacon and Egg McMuffins to the table.

I don't own McDonalds either. And I don't like Bacon and Egg McMuffin's anyway, so :p

Dumpy counted his presents. Now this took some time, as Dumpy (and Bandit Keith) weren't too bright. Eventually Dumpy gave up, and just complained about their not being enough presents on principle.

Pegasus blinked at Dumpy through a drunken stupor. "We'll get you some more presents, won't we Keithy-boy. Some nice episodes of Funny Bunny..."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Isn't this the part when you realize I have to come with you to the Zoo?"

Mr. Doobie glared. "I'm all in favor of just going to the zoo now, and stuff all the ! that comes before it."

Yugi looked relieved. "All right, lets get this over with."

After the Doobies piled into the family car, and had crammed Hairis in the boot. Yugi didn't mind too much. The boot was more spacious than you might think, and Yami was waiting there...

Finally the Doobies reached the zoo. They piled out again, went to get tickets, came back, yanked Hairis out of the boot, and went back to get another ticket.

It was a bright and sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families, which meant it was "All the children you can eat that fall in the exhibit" day for some of the animals...

The Doobies wandered around the exhibits looking at all the animals, while Bandit Keith tried to feed Yugi to the odd creature.

They ate lunch in the Zoo cafe, where Pegasus was depressed to discover that alcohol was not allowed, which meant he might sober up before they got home.

Finally, after much prompting from the writer and cast, no one wanted to stick around longer than necessary, the Doobies made their way to the Reptile house.

Hairis stared at the snake.

The snake stared back.

Dumpy and his parents had moved over to another part of the Reptile house, though Bandit Keith was keeping track of what Yugi was doing, so he didn't miss his cue.

The snake raised it's head and looked at Hairis.

It winked.

Hairis stared. "Snaked don't have eyelids." He said at last. A brief argument and consoltation of the script proved that this was supposed to happen, and things got underway again.

Yugi sighed, and started to talk animatedly to the snake, as the script said he should. The Doobies stared at him, as did the rest of the people in the Reptile house, wondering what kind of hallucinations the boy must be having.

Eventually Bandit Keith came over and tried to push Yugi into the tank the snake was in. Fortunately Yami sprung up and he and Yugi were able to beat Keith into submission with the puzzle, and lever him into the exhibit.

Unfortunately, Mr. Doobie had seen this, and after rushing them all back home, commenced screaming at Hairis.

"How about you lock me in my cupboard for the rest of the day?" Yugi suggested, after Mr. Doobie had paused to breathe.

"You bet that's what I'll do! No meals for you! You can just sit in there and rot for all I care!" Mr. Doobie screamed. Then he grabbed Hairis and hurled him into the cupboard, locking the door after him.

"I need something to drink..." Mr. Doobie muttered, wandering off to raid his 'wife's' wine store.

Yugi grinned, he didn't mind being locked away, after all, Yami was in here too...