A/N: The quotes I am finding amaze me more and more with how strikingly true they are! My continuing love for Erik's story amazes me as well. I think it is because it satisfies both sides of me simultaneously; the intellectual side, which glories in Erik's genius, and the darker Romantic side (as in, the Romantic Era, before we ized the word to mean anything to do with love) which takes its joy from the aloneness and the alienation.
I own this not, except for some half-forgotten corridor of my mind, where the Phantom forever lives, the details of this world put aside. I think we all have such a place. You're here, aren't you?
XIV: I REMEMBER
"Love is the child of freedom, never that of domination." –Erich Fromm (another by him, really the name is a coincidence)
"Some people invite awe whether they like it or not. Such people come to be very lonely. Lonely in themselves…" –Heboric (Erikson… yikes, another one)
When Jaq awoke, it took her a long moment to reconcile with her surroundings. The air against her face was cool, but the light was dim and fitful, a low flow on the edge of sight. Candles.
Slowly it all came back to her, and she sat up. There was some kind of fine dark curtain between her and the rest of this place. She stood, pushing it aside. "Raian?" she asked tentatively, seeing him standing in the clear space.
He turned at the sound of his name with a smile. "You're awake! It's early yet."
"Where is he?"
Raian didn't need more clarification. He shrugged slightly. "Out. I don't presume to know much about him or keep him to a schedule."
"I suppose not," she said, keeping the disappointment from her voice as she left the curtain.
"Hungry?" Raian said, offering her some fruit.
"Very," she replied with a smile, sitting down as she ate.
Raian sat opposite, leaning his elbows on the table. "So," he teased lightly, "how do you find him?"
Jaq took a bite of a pear and paused to think. "Intriguing."
Her brother laughed. "Go on."
She sighed, reluctantly setting the pear down. "Frankly, Raian, I can't claim to understand him. There's such… duality… in him. Fierce and compassionate both. Love and hate, sorrow and anger, pain and expressionless numbness. Dark and light in one. His voice is so powerful, enchanting… words fail utterly! When he sings there is a distant formality to him, but an intense passion as well. Its as if he is so desperately torn, between what I cannot imagine. And alone… eternally alone. Raian," she found she could not stop, "Raian, I think I love him."
"Think?" he said softly, but any hint of doubt in his tone was hidden by resignation. He had known, since she had first seen him… "There is no thought in love. It is, or it is not."
"Then it is, Raian."
"And yet you yourself admit you do not know him!"
"Do I need to? 'Only the heart knows how to find what is precious.' I know, Raian, and what's more you know as well."
"I know it is a shadow and a thought that you love, Jaq. I know I cannot trust him. I know we are caught in his 'mercy' with Gerard blocking the only way out. I know the escapes are fast sliding away. And, Jaq…" he hesitated.
"Are you sure this is love, and not enchantment?" he finished gently.
She laughed, a pure innocent sound that wrenched his heart. "I feel as if this is all a dream, a celestial vision, dear brother. Reality and enchantment court each other, and in the candle-spangled darkness music seizes my soul, whispers sweet nothings in my ear, and leads me to where my furthest fantasies take hold. Love… enchantment… are they not one and the same?"
"Besides, I cannot forget him now." She smiled sweetly at that. "I finally understand the words: he'll always be there singing songs in my head, he'll always be there singing songs in my head. Heaven is not so quickly forgotten."
"I remember," Raian said softly.
