Chapter 4

Confessions

"Hey Tatsumi! Glad I found you. Something's wrong with Muraki and I was wondering if you knew any more about it than I do. We got in a fight and he got real quiet and..." Tsuzuki had barely caught Tatsumi on his way to Konoe's office with a handful of messy papers- well, messy by Tatsumi's standards of course.

"Slow down Tsuzuki! What are you talking about?" he asked, comfortingly placing a hand on his shoulder, the several papers noisily ruffling as he halted abruptly at Tsuzuki's approach.

"I just don't know what to do with him. I hate Muraki. He hasn't done anything...life-threatening or anything, but I just don't like him being here."

Tatsumi sighed heavily and nodded in agreement. "I didn't like this partnership to begin with, but the Count has his own reasons for it. Just try your best to get along with him and if you can't, then I'll have to talk to the Count about it."

His sapphire eyes shone with kindness emanating signs of a deep understanding with his former partner. He couldn't hide anything from Tsuzuki if he tried.

"So you don't know why he did it either?" Tsuzuki asked.

"No. I haven't been told that much. I'm sorry Tsuzuki." Tatsumi said, bowing his head slightly in respect.

"That's ok. But Hisoka mentioned something about a demon that Muraki was working with so..." Tsuzuki started.

"Oh so you know about that now. I'm glad. Yes, it's been confirmed that there is indeed a demon he's involved with, but we don't know that much about it. Take care of yourself Tsuzuki and good luck with your case...and your partner. Put up with him for me, ok?"

"Thanks Tatsumi, I'll try!" Tsuzuki said as Tatsumi waved him off, walking off to Konoe's office.

Tsuzuki smiled as Tatsumi made his way down the hallway, opening the door to their boss's office, disappearing inside. He sometimes missed Tatsumi's company and kindness, but there were reasons their partnership had been dissolved. Tatsumi was too in-charge of everything and Tsuzuki was well, not. At all. Tsuzuki laughed to himself. All of his partners were always in charge. Tatsumi, Hisoka, and now to his dismay, Muraki. Suddenly he remembered why he had run after Tatsumi in the first place. Muraki. Tsuzuki walked the opposite direction to an old room, formerly used by another shinigami before he moved on. His heart raced as he knocked on the door, each knock gradually becoming louder and more confident. No one answered.

What do you bet he's just gonna throw the door open and pull me in? Tsuzuki thought as he waited in front of the tall door, his hands in his jacket pockets.

Not so much as an answer.

Should I just go in? What if he's asleep? What if he's been gulp waiting in here for me?

Shakily, Tsuzuki turned the handle of the door and pulled it slowly open, the aging hinges creaking terribly.

"Muraki? Are you..." Tsuzuki found him lying on his bed, a slightly broken doll lying on the floor beside him. Her face had cracked, probably from Muraki dropping it.

The doctor stared blankly at it, not even blinking. He looked like a child, still in shock that one of his toys had been broken.

"Muraki..." Tsuzuki started and sat beside him on the squeaky bed, pushing aside Muraki's large and bulky trench coat.

"Ah, you've come back. Always a pleasure to be with you, beloved."

His deep voice broke the silence of the room and Tsuzuki once more realized why he was intimidated by this tall man lying beside him.

"So you're alright? You didn't answer me when I knocked." Tsuzuki tried to be kind and avoid seeming afraid, but he knew Muraki sensed how afraid he was.

Yes, Muraki knew. But he didn't care right at that moment. His Tsuzuki was here in his room as a guest. Muraki had always been told to show guests proper hospitality and he vowed he'd make sure Tsuzuki wouldn't leave unsatisfied. He turned to face him, placing his hand nearly on top of Tsuzuki's.

"I've had a lot of time to think, Mr. Tsuzuki, and I have a request for you."

Tsuzuki could only wonder at what Muraki had in mind. "I'd like to forget." was all he said before holding Tsuzuki's hand in his own.

"What? You're not making any sense."

Muraki turned his head, his silvery hair no longer covering his mechanical eye. It shone with a sort of evil lust that no one other than the psychopathic doctor could possess. He knew what he wanted, and due to his current amount of stress, was now frustrated. And now, he had his beloved shinigami here to take it out on. "Oh I'm sure it will all make sense to you in a few moments..."

Tsuzuki was becoming more annoyed as the event progressed, but he couldn't shake the feeling he'd heard that name before.

"What are you talking about? Who's Saki?" he asked.

Muraki never lifted his eyes from the floor and continued to talk. "I suppose he still has some control over me, even if it's only slight. I still think about that bastard as much as I think about you. It's beginning to be...rather irritating."

"Listen, I don't know what happened to you, but I don't really like it. If things with Saki were so bad that it's affecting you this way, I think I should know about it. We have to work together and all, so this is hurting our work. If you can't concentrate because of all these memories then-..."

Muraki sighed deeply, kissing Tsuzuki's neck. "It's nothing that interferes with my attraction to you, so there's no need to be jealous." he said with a gentle laugh.

Tsuzuki felt his face redden. Whether it was in anger or embarrassment he didn't know, but he didn't like the attention he was getting. Muraki sensed his distress and decided to pursue his target with added hunger. The aging springs of the bed have a shrill squeak as Muraki inched towards him, embracing the surprised Tsuzuki.

"Stay with me tonight." he insisted, hugging Tsuzuki tightly.

"Muraki stop it! If I ever wanted to sleep with you..."

He tried to pull out of Muraki's grasp, but his efforts were in vain.

"Yes, I would prefer you resist a little." he teased, his hands roaming to Tsuzuki's back.

"You didn't even answer my question about Saki. What is he to you? A lover, or a friend, or a relative, or a victim or what?" he questioned, still trying to push Muraki away.

"My, you certainly are curious. But I don't have a mind to answer you. Ask me in the morning. Tonight, you are the only one I want to have on my mind. Why, may I ask, do you wish to know about Saki so much?" Muraki replied.

"Because," he began, his eyes widening at a slight touch to his thigh, "you've been lying to me and this Saki person I think is part of the reason."

"And if I told you, would it change anything? Just by revealing my past to you, you think that you can change everything. How adorable."

"I...I just thought that..." Tsuzuki stammered, not knowing how to respond.

Muraki laughed. "You are aware of course that your determination is very amusing to me, aren't you?"

Tsuzuki bit his lip as Muraki's hand caressed his leg, being careful not to move past his thighs...although he desperately wanted to. The caresses stopped unexpectedly, his hands at his own shirt buttons.

"I'll tell you what. If you want to know so much," he started to unbutton his loose white shirt, "you'll have to make me tell you. My information isn't freely given on this issue. But I have to admit, I doubt you can do it. Please me, that is." he said with a smirk.

I doubt it would take much, just let him have me and then...but what am I saying? I can't just do that! I haven't slept with guys before; I don't know what I'm doing. Besides, once he has me vulnerable, who knows what he'll do?

"Muraki, I can't!"

"And why not? Aren't you still wondering about Saki?"

"Maybe I am, but I'm not just going to give myself to y-..."

Muraki caught him off guard with a kiss, draping his arms around Tsuzuki's shoulders. Tsuzuki winced as he felt a cold hand on his skin, now fully inside his pants. This was seriously out of control. And if the beautiful doctor aroused him, and he sensed he was close to that, Muraki wouldn't even consider stopping.

Tsuzuki tore Muraki's hand away and felt a light kiss on his wrist.

"You can kiss me anywhere you like, but I warn you, if I don't like it I might not tell you anything at all. And well, to you, it would be a waste." Muraki said, his silvery gaze pleading for a kiss.

"What?! I'm not going to..."

It was at that moment Tsuzuki witnessed what he had before him. Muraki was simply beautiful. His shirt was halfway unbuttoned and he looked as if he not only wanted Tsuzuki for his own, but he needed his touch.

Maybe it would be alright if I kissed him. Just once. And he'd have to kiss me first, of course. Tsuzuki thought to himself, his face only inches from Muraki's.

Muraki leaned close, his lips barely touching Tsuzuki's before he pulled back slightly. The move had been meant to tease, but for Tsuzuki, it made for an excuse to kiss him.

Taking a deep breath, Tsuzuki tightly shut his eyes and cautiously kissed him. Muraki's lips were comparable to his entire body, smooth and cold as ice. In that instant...Muraki lost his cool façade and fell onto the younger shinigami. This was all the indication he'd needed to continue. He coaxed Tsuzuki's tongue into his mouth, indulging in the other man's taste. His mouth was sweet, probably reminiscent of some sort of dessert he'd been eating earlier and it only urged him onward. He knew Tsuzuki wanted this. He had to. And then he realized something. Tsuzuki might have been enjoying how it felt, but he certainly wasn't enjoying that this was being done by Muraki. His eyes were still shut tightly and he shivered at Muraki's touch. The taller man was forced to stop, no matter how much he still wanted...needed to continue. He eased himself off of Tsuzuki and sat upright on the bed.

"Are you happy? Is that what you wanted then?" Tsuzuki asked, securely buttoning his pants to save himself from further intrusion.

Muraki shook his head. "It was not what I wanted."

"And why not? You always say that you want to kiss me or sleep with me or whatever goes through that tainted mind of yours, but now you say it's not what you want?" he questioned.

"Because Mr. Tsuzuki, to put it simply, I don't want to rape you."

With a smirk, he nipped Tsuzuki's ear and laughed at his stunned reaction. "Not another word about Saki now. You didn't please me, so I don't see why I should tell you anything. I'll see you in the morning, unless you're willing to stay with me tonight." he teased.

"But..."

Muraki shook his head. "Oh I would recommend that you stay here tonight. Your friends probably already think something is up, as you've been in my room for quite a long time..."

"STOP IT!!! I can't stand you. Don't touch me one more time! You know, I don't care about this Saki person anymore! In fact, whatever he did to you, you probably deserved it!" Tsuzuki yelled, pushing Muraki away angrily as he jumped from the bed in disgust.

Turning around he nearly froze at seeing Muraki. He looked awful. "Mr. Tsuzuki..."

"Just leave me alone." Tsuzuki stated with a hand on the doorknob, ready to leave.

Muraki was about to speak and then hesitated, staring intensely at Tsuzuki in lonely silence. Before he could think of something to say, Tsuzuki was gone. He wanted to tell Tsuzuki about his half-brother. About...everything. But Muraki didn't want sympathy. Not for trivial matters of the past. Oriya knew at least, and that was all he needed for now.