It was a brisk fall day that Monica spent away from the hospital. Chandler had decided that they needed to spend some quality time together. Joey would take the twins somewhere and they could the day to be alone.

Walking down the old familiar street of Bedford, he spotted a place that was near and dear to both their hearts.

"It is kind of cold and a coffee isn't a bad idea." he smiled.

"Let's go, I'm game." she shrugged. Holding the door open, they walked inside the familiar coffee house.

"Hey you guys." said Gunther as he came over to greet his old customers. "Back in town, say how is every one , how's Rachel?" he asked.

Monica had to laugh same old Gunther, "Rachel is fine , she is still married though Gunther."

Gunther's face dropped. "Oh." he said sadly. "Well what can I get you, you know I am the owner now."

"A coffee for me and a latte for Mon." said Chandler. "We'll be over here." he said as they walked to the familiar orange couch.

"Look here's my ass print. I told you we would forever be immortalized." he laughed. He make a joke in the hope that Monica would lighten up.

"I'll sit here." she said slowly sitting on the couch.

Chandler knew that something was really bothering his wife. She had grown to accept this all, she was the stronger of the two siblings. It seemed though she would also be doing this all for a reason. He had to find out what she had been hiding.

Gunther brought the coffees over. Chandler took out his wallet and Gunther waved it away. "For old friends." he smiled . "Tell everyone I said hi. "

Chandler took a sip and then turned to Monica. "Hon, I know that something has been bothering you. Now we are alone and I wish you could tell me what it is. I know this illness has really taken it 's toll on you, but that can't be everything." he put his arm around her.

Monica took a deep breath and sighed. "Well here it is. Ever since I was a little girl, everyone would tell me how great I was. How smart , and caring and what a good friend I was. Until I got home, then I was always the other child. Nothing I did was right. No grade was ever high enough, I was always forced in the background." Monica explained.

"I never knew this ," said Chandler sympathetically.

"And do you want to know why?" Monica said bitterly. "Because of my dear wonderful could do no wrong brother, your best friend.."

"Oh dear." said Chandler as he licked his lips nervously. He never knew that his wife's resentment was this deep.

"I would make a cake, he would get a science award. I would get on the honor roll, he would get straight A's ..the one year he got all A's and a C in gym, I laughed my ass off., as they pushed me further back, I would eat and eat, and that is why I was fat Monica."Monica admitted.

"Oh I never knew, and I am so sorry for ever calling you fat." he said as he embraced her.

"Rachel was so beautiful, even with her nose, it just galled me that even my loser of a brother was in love with her. And then when he found Carol and got married, I was even more jealous because he found what I so desperately wanted. Then when he had Ben, it just tore me apart." she started to cry.

Chandler remembered that day vividly, on that day he promised that if they were both unmarried by age 40, he would have a baby with her.

"He had the two things that I wanted so much, a baby and someone to love me." Monica wiped her eyes.

"But Carol left him for another woman." Chandler reminded her.

"I know but still, he had her then Emily, and I still had no one. That's why Richard was so special to me. He was the first man to actually love me." Monica said sweetly.

Chandler brisked at the mere mention of the name Richard. At the time, he thought he was cool and wanted to emulate him. As he grew to love Monica, he always thought of Richard as a romantic ghost from her past.

"I continued to resent him when Rachel got pregnant and they had Emma, especially after the doctor gave us the bad news. I thought we were both such committed people , they get drunk one night and bam they get a baby. Our babies are adopted and I will never have the experience of giving birth." she sobbed.

"Mon, hon, I know those aren't our natural children. But we are their mother and father. We have raised them and loved them. They are as much a part of us as Emma is of her parents or Ben is of his." Chandler says. "I think I know where this is all leading anyway. You see yourself as this little girl who is still trying to please your mother. You give and give till you have given all your love away. But it isn't enough, and your mother takes advantage of this. I always thought even as an adult, your mother continued. I saw how mean she was to you in London. And when we got married, they said they spent all their money on the beach house and bad investments. Notice how all your brother has to do is announce his third engagement and the money mysteriously appears to pay for his and Rachel's wedding." Chandler said.

"I love my mother dearly and I just want her to be proud of me. " Monica sobbed.

"She will, Mon , she will." said Chandler as he rubbed her back. And he would make sure she was.