AGAIN

Chapter Eight: Karma

Suze

Paul…

He appeared, of course, to ruin my Jesse moment. Kissing Jesse again, really kissing him, was… god, there aren't enough words to describe it! Everything was perfect, I was even beginning to think I was going to run get over second base; we were definitely heading for third! Hell! I was setting my hopes in scoring that night!

And by the look Jesse gave Paul –after Jesse and I pulled apart from our kiss – Jesse also thought he was scoring that night.

"What do you want Paul?" I asked annoyed.

"This time it isn't with you, Suze. I want to settle things with Rico here, once and for all."

"Are you drunk? Paul, you're drunk again!" I said reproaching, about two years ago he had started to drink heavily, and coming to our apartment at three in the morning and well… things weren't all that good when he got drunk. He had only stopped drinking because he wanted to have kids, and he knew –from his dad, I guess – that isn't in the best interest of the fetus to be conceived under the influence of alcohol.

Not that I had ever been willing to carry Paul's kids… in fact that had been the reason behind one of our biggest fights… that night I though Paul was going to hit me, and not just the slaps or the shovings he sometimes gave me but to really hit me. This night he didn't look that different to what he had looked that day.

I don't know if Jesse sensed it too. The rage coming out of Paul's form, I mean. But he slipped me behind him in a protective gesture that was so Jesse.

Then Paul snarled something in Spanish, something that I didn't understand. I had always taken French at school whereas Paul spoke both French and Spanish. I don't know what it was what Paul said, just that my name came up attached to an adjective that didn't sound at all that flattering. It must have been pretty bad since Jesse jumped at Paul and next thing I knew they were rolling around in the middle of the street kicking each other's butts.

Jesse was going at Paul almost with the same single minded fury that I had seen when he fought with Felix Diego, back when he was still a ghost. And Paul wasn't sitting there and taking it quietly.

"Paul! Jesse! Stop it!" I yelled, coming between them.

Jesse stopped dead on his tracks. Paul just reached out and shoved me aside… hard.

Did I happen to mention that by then we were practically at the border of the sidewalk? Well, we were. And Paul's less-than-gentle-push was all I need to stumble down the street… just as a car crawled along the street.

It happened so quickly yet it seemed to last an eternity.

I saw the lights and heard the honk, but it was too late to move.

And you know what?

Jesse didn't stop to call me by my full name. No. Jesse yelled just one word: "Querida!"


Jesse

"Querida?" I asked when I saw her starting to stir. "Querida, do you hear me?"

"Jesse?" She whispered in confusion.

"Yes, is me." I said.

"Oh." She said half conscious, half not.

Dios.

I should have seen that car! I should have done something. But it was too late now and all I could do was hold Susannah's hand all the way to the hospital and whisper to her ear that everything would be alright.

It was past midnight at Carmel Memorial when Susannah awoke again.

She looked at me and smiled slightly. Then looked around and said "Why do I always end up in hospitals?" in mock complain.

I laughed a little. And then Caitlin, the head of nurses came in with Doctor Ludlow the attendant for the night.

"Jesse. I thought I told you that you needed to let Miss Simon get some rest." Caitlin scowled at me.

"I'm not doing anything." I said to defend myself.

"Please, miss," Susannah said. "I feel better if Jesse stays."

"Fine." Caitlin said and started to fuss around, checking Susannah's stats and fluffing her pillow.

Dr Ludlow just shook his head then added to me. "Wanna see the MRI?" I nodded and switched into doctor-mode. And was very happy to find out that Susannah would be okay. "Well, you know what to do." Ludlow said to me and walked away with Caitlin.

"What did he say?" Susannah asked when I returned to her bedside.

"The MRI came clear, there is no damage. It was mostly the scare and some scratches and bruises. Your wrist will hurt for a little while, you landed hard on it but its not broken I saw the X-rays before. Ludlow is keeping you in for observation but they are letting me take you home tomorrow."

"So everything is fine?"

"Yes, you just will be sore for a few days."

"Well, that's the good thing about being a mediator, I'm hard to kill." She said with a smile. I kissed her forehead- Susannah was too precious to me, I didn't want to hear the word 'kill' associated to her in anyway. "Have you called my mom?"

"No, I've been signing as responsible for you."

"Good, I don't' want to worry her if is nothing."

I smiled, hugging her and said: "Don't you worry about anything, querida; I'll take care of you."

Once again, we were interrupted. "Aw, how touching!" Paul said coming to the room where Susannah was and closing the door behind him. "The tragic lovers find comfort in each other's arms again. That's very… what's the expression? 'Made-for-TV-movie-y'."

"Paul, what now?" Susannah asked. "You nearly killed me once today? Can't you sod it off for a bit?"

"I just want you to answer me one question. WHY HIM? WHY YOU ALWAYS CHOSE HIM!!!! What does Rico has that I don't?"

Susannah shook her head. "You simply don't know, Paul?"

"I don't know what?"

"Me. You don't know me."

"What is there to know?" Paul demanded. Susannah just looked at him sadly.

I don't know what it was but after a long silence Paul looked at me, ignoring Susannah for all effects and purposes. "Fine. Keep the crazy, damn bitch for all I care."

That's all he said. Just that. And then turned on his heels and walked away. There was this quiet rage around him. He was so mad that he couldn't even let it out. "Poor Paul." I said suddenly, surprising even myself.

"Poor Paul?" Susannah asked in shock.

"Do you know how is to feel that kind of white-hot rage? That anger that is just simply too much for you? That takes all that is inside and pushes it out until there is nothing left but hatred?"

"No."

"I do." I answered. "That's how I felt when you left me- when I thought you left me – all those years ago. And what he said? That's exactly what I told Paul when he told me you were his wife. I've been there, Susannah, and I pity Paul, because I have already been through that hell."

"Jesse…" Susannah spoke slowly, weighting her words carefully. "Is not the same, you loved me. Paul has never loved me. There is something inside of Paul… some childish selfishness that will never allow him to love anyone else completely. Paul wants, he doesn't loves. His pride might get wounded but never his heart. Paul doesn't know what is like to love someone so much that it hurts, to love in a way that makes you put that other person first, always… and trust me, Paul doesn't know what is to love someone enough to let them go."

"Like you did for me?"

"Yes. You're the only person I have ever loved that way." She said with a smile, as if she was remembering those days from the past.

"And I let you down… I walked away I… left you."

"No, you didn't." She said, taking my hand and entwining her fingers with mine.

"Susannah…"

"Jesse, you didn't leave me. Look around…. Aren't you here?"

That was it, I leaned into her and kissed her. Kissed her with everything that was in my soul, needing her so much that frightened me a little… but knowing she, my querida, was worthy.

"Querida…" I said softly, resting my forehead against hers. "I love you." I whispered against her lips.

There, I had said it. Said what had been burning a hole in my chest for weeks… something that I thought I would never, ever feel again.

Susannah brought her hand to my cheek, bringing my face closer to her. "I know." She said, her lips brushing mine… "I love you too."

I smiled, catching her lips with my own in a kiss… feeling more happy than what any man – let alone me – deserved to feel.

I might have come to life one day not six years ago, but this was the moment when I was born again…

And in that moment, everything around me that wasn't Susannah vanished way.

… Though I think I heard Caitlin in the back, by the door, saying in an annoyed voice: "What did I said about letting Miss Simon rest?"

End of Chapter Eight


Notes:

Nothing much to say just that is late and I haven't finished my homework because I was writing this, so you better like it!!!!!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and please do so again.

Much love,

Crazy, lovable me.

P. S. Starry!!! UPDATE SOON, Chaotic Romance ROCKS!!!!