A/N: I do not own the lyrics to the song 'Through her eyes' by Dream Theater. Note that the lyrics have been changed slightly to better fit the story.
(o)
My bags were packed and I was ready to leave the following day. Luckily, Trunks had managed to talk Bulma into letting me go, by helping her to understand how I was feeling. To my relief, it turned out that she was very supportive of my decision.
"You know what's best for you. If you think you need to be with Elijah, then you should be with him." Was Bulma's response to Trunks' statements about my departure. Then she immediately phoned ahead to my parents in order to let them know I would be meeting them at the hospital first thing the next morning.
To my surprise, the Briefs had informed both Mason and Zara of my departure, and all of them were waiting outside in the front lawn for me together. Vegeta met me at the door and attempted to take my bags, but I gripped onto the handles tightly and prized his hands away.
"I can carry my own luggage, thank you." I scathed, though both of us knew that I was partly joking.
Vegeta merely grunted, but it was almost certain that he was trying to suppress a smile. He placed a hand on my shoulder and steered me towards the others.
"I wouldn't mind sparring with you again sometime." He murmured to me out of the corner of his mouth. "I think someone needs to deflate that ego of yours, and your parents have become too soft to be worthy opponents for you."
"Are you actually admitting that I am a good fighter?" I asked in bewilderment.
"No." He defended, then added when he caught sight on the look of my face. "Well, I suppose for a half-breed…"
Our conversation was cut short by Bulma, who pulled me into a hug the moment I came into her arm's reach. Her grip was so tight that both my bags fell from my hands and onto the pavement, and I struggled to keep the air circulating around my lungs.
"Careful, Mum. Her face is turning blue." Trunks chuckled, leaning against his car as he spoke. It had been decided that he would be driving me to the hospital only last night. Of course, neither Trunks nor myself had any objections.
When Bulma finally released her hold on me, I could see tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. I wasn't entirely sure if she was crying because I was leaving, or if it was because she knew that I planned to stay with Elijah until the very end. He next words came as the answer to my question.
"I'm so proud of you, Pan." She sniffed. "We're all very proud. I think you made the right decision in wanting to be with your cousin."
"Thank you." I managed to choke out. Now, for the first time, I realized that I would be leaving Capsule corp., the place which had been home to me for the most of the summer break. How ironic, I thought, that I had spent most of my time here moaning about how much I missed my old home, and now that it was time for me to return there, I couldn't help but to feel somewhat attached to the large structure that stood behind me. The reality of the situation suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Don't be a stranger, now. Come back to visit whenever you want." Her lips broke into a teary smile. "We'll miss having you in the house."
I nodded dumbly, unsure of what else to say. Bulma really hadn't been too unfair on me. After all, she had taken me into her home and fed me for almost a full three months. We may have gotten along a lot better if I hadn't been so tied up in my own problems, and if she hadn't been so…girly. I grinned to myself. I hated to admit it, but I had unintentionally been steadily growing fonder of this hysterical older woman and her abnormal, quirky ways. I allowed her to hug me for the last time that summer.
"Trunks told me you were leaving tomorrow. Met me out the front of the house when I was taking out the trash." Mason mumbled, gazing down at his scruffy sneakers. "So I phoned Zara and…"
"And here we are." Zara finished for him. She looked at me with sudden concern. "Are you sure…I mean…are you going to be ok?"
I knew exactly what she meant. Both she had Mason knew I planned to stay with Elijah until the last of his days, and both were afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it, mentally. Like my parents had been, they were worried trauma would effect my emotional growth. I surveyed both my friends with a sense of knew appreciation. It was wonderful just to know that people cared about you and loved you enough to be worried about you enough to get up early and come out to say farewell. But they needn't have been so anxious, I knew I had made the right choice and told them so. Then, when they said nothing, I pulled them both into a hug that surprised myself even more than it surprised them.
"I guess we'll see you at school, then." Zara said. She was beaming, and still holding onto my wrist. Mason, however, had turned a vibrant shade of pink and drawn away from me rather quickly. It was funny to think that I had just embraced the very person who used to fill me with such utter loathing and hatred.
"Yeah." Answered Mason dutifully, the colour now fading from his cheeks. "See you."
Vegeta had already put my bags into the back seat of Trunks' car, much to my protest, and was now standing beside his wife with his arm around her waist. I turned away quickly and pretended I hadn't noticed. It was bound to be a long time before Vegeta dared to show public signs of affection again for a while, and I didn't want to spoil it for Bulma by embarrassing him. So I climbed into the front seat of Trunks' car and pulled the door shut, waving a final goodbye to everyone who stood on the path. Trunks revved the engine and we were off, leaving Capsule corp. far behind us. And for no reason whatsoever, I wound down the window and leaned out, allowing the breeze to tickle my face and the wind to whip my hair about me. Now the sadness of leaving behind one home had left me, I was filled with the joyous feeling of returning to another. I wanted to scream and shout, jump out of the car window and fly around the world a million times. I was going home. I was finally going home.
The rest of the trip to the hospital was silent. Trunks pulled up a street away so that he wouldn't be hustled by any ambulance drivers, and could take his time in saying goodbye to me. I pulled my bags in from the back seat and clutched them to my chest so tightly that I succeeded in stopping my fingers from trembling.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye." Trunks said as bravely as he could. "I don't know when I'll see you again…it won't be until at least next summer, since you'll be so busy with school and all, no doubt."
Trunks may have had plenty of practice in fooling people into believing he was unaffected by his emotions, but not enough to fool me. I let go of one of my bags and took his hand in mine.
"We'll get to see each other. We can always call each other, and I can stop over on my way home from school. Maybe you can help me with some of my homework."
Trunks smiled, "Sounds like a plan. Once I quit my old job and get into the music business, they're won't be any need for me to live at home anymore. I could save up and find my own place closer to you. That way I can see you on the weekends too."
"Yeah." I grinned. My one great issue with leaving Capsule corp. would be leaving Trunks behind. But it wasn't really goodbye. Our families were close, and we were bound to see one another again before too long. Looking into Trunks' eyes told me that he was feeling and thinking the same thing.
It was an awkward kiss goodbye. We were like twelve year olds, playing our first ever game of spin-the-bottle. I would move one way, then he would move the other, until I eventually ended up kissing his cheek. He winked at me as I slid out of the car, and I stood on the curb, clinging onto my bags and watching him turn the corner and escape my vision. At once I was clouded with sadness. That was the end of my time with the Briefs family. It may not have been the perfect summer I had in mind towards the beginning of the holidays, but it had been the most memorable and life-changing period of my life. Never again would I be the young, immature girl who arrived on the Briefs doorstep three months ago. It was hard to believe so much had changed in such a short amount of time.
Suddenly remembering where I was, I brought myself back to reality and walked briskly towards the hospital. Every step took me closer to my aunt and uncle, my new baby cousin, my grandparents, parents, and my dying cousin. Before I knew it, I had broken out into a run, and was panting by the time I reached the hospital reception.
The next few minutes past by as a blur. I couldn't recall the words spoken by the receptionist, nor my own in response. I remembered only standing in the elevator…the impatience of the slow, monotony of the nurse who rode with me…then bursting out when we reached my floor and sprinting down the corridors until I came to the children's ward. My eyes clouded when I caught sight of my family standing there together. My mother held out her arms to me, and I dropped my bags and ran into them, burying my head into her shirt. I was not ashamed of my tears anymore. I wanted everyone to know how happy I was to be with them again. So happy that it made me want to cry. I fell into the arms of my mother, father, my grandparents and my uncle, embracing them in a swarm of hugs and kisses.
"Elijah." I breathed, once I had recovered a little from the happiness of being surrounded with the people I adored. "Where's Elijah?"
"Inside." Goten stammered, indicating to the door that led to the children's ward. He opened his mouth as if he was about to add more but I didn't wait for him to speak, and tore the door open quickly, charging into the room before anybody could stop me.
Elijah was still lying in that same bed, at the very end of the hall, beside the window. I almost fell over with shock when I first saw him lying there, as this fragile, deep-sleeping form was not that of the boy I had remembered. It might have just been the large bed he was lying in, or the blankets that were tucked in around him so tightly that they practically strapped him down to the bed, but I could have sworn he had shrunk in size. He was bone-thin, his skin an unhealthy shade of palest yellow. If he had stood, the nightdress he wore would have fallen off him. There were huge, dark circles under his eyes, and he wore a pained expression on his sleeping face. His once lavish, thick raven hair was now limp, flimsy and wet with oil, parts of it coming out in small tuffs. I stood beside the bed and touched his cheek. It was icy cold.
"Elijah!" I whispered urgently. "Elijah!"
He didn't move. He was so still, that for a second, I believed he had past away while the others had been waiting for me in the corridor. I spoke his name again, this time louder than before and shook him firmly by the shoulder. He was so weak that I was afraid his body would break beneath the weight of my hand. He stirred a little, and I was reassured.
It took a lot of effort for him to finally wake up. His eyelids were almost too heavy for him to lift. The sparkling colour in his coal black eyes had gone, and replaced with a hazy, distant glaze of grey. He was going blind. He stared at me blankly for several minutes before he realized who I was and his dry, cracked lips broke into a worn smile. He wanted to lift his head up off the hardened pillow but it proved to be too much effort for him. I adjusted him into a sitting position, and when I was done he opened his arms to me and I fell into them, forgetting to be wary of his feeble body and squeezing him as tightly as I could. I burst out into a fresh set of tears, and Elijah joined me, though I had to question whether he knew the reason for our grief or not.
"I missed you." He managed to choke in a hoarse, croaky voice that was not his own. "Why didn't you come before? I asked to see you, but Daddy said you had to go away."
"I did. But it's okay. I'm back now, and I'm not going to leave you this time. That's a promise." I whispered reassuringly.
"But Mummy and Daddy said that I have to go away too, soon. They said I'm going to a really nice place, but they didn't say if you would come too. Will you come with me, Pan?"
"One day." I patted his mattered hair soothingly. I could feel eyes on my back. The others must have been watching me from the door. I parted with Elijah briefly to pull the curtains in around his bed. I wanted this time just for the two of us.
"I don't want to go without you." He sobbed as I returned to him. "I want to see Mummy's new baby. I want to find out what a school is like. I want to fight with you. I don't want to go away before then."
"You'll be able to see Mummy's new baby, and find out what school is like in the new special place. You'll be able to watch us all the time and see what all of us are doing." I paused, then exclaimed, "Hey! You've fixed up your grammar, haven't you? And you don't say 'play fighting' anymore!"
"Yup." He smiled at me again. The smile was almost pathetic, but still I was glad to see it there. "Grandma Chi-Chi has been helping me, and same with all the nurses. I told them I wanted to fix my grammar so I could make you all proud of me. Are you proud of me, Pan?"
"Of course I am." I hugged him again, perching on the edge of his bed. "And I'm going to stay right with you until it's time for you to go. And after that, you're going to get to watch me all the time, aren't you?"
"It won't be so bad, then…going away."
It was like saying goodbye to Trunks all over again, only now it was a million times worse. I wasn't even sure if what I was saying was true. All I knew was that I only had a very short time left to spend with my cousin, and I didn't want to waste any of it.
He yawned, breaking me out of my reverie. His illness seemed to take out quite a lot of his energy. I adjusted his pillows and lay him back down, lying beside him myself and stroking back his lank hair. His forehead was the only part of his body that felt anywhere near warm.
He was not the little boy who lived next door to me anymore. The little boy who sprung out of bed at the first sight of dawn and ran outside, shouting at me to come and play with him. He was not the boy who had gone fishing with me last summer in the nearby river, and bounded across the fields towards home, holding out his catch and waving it proudly under the nose of his grandfather. That boy was preserved forever in my memory, and was still hidden somewhere inside this weak and sickly child. I held onto his body as if I was holding onto the memory itself.
I remembered the song I used to sing to him when he was falling asleep. Even when he was a newborn baby and I used to lean over his cot and peer in at him. It was our special song. Before I knew it, I was singing softly to him, and even after he had sunk into a deep sleep, I kept on singing, not stopping until the song had ended.
He
never really had a chance
On that fateful moonlit night
Sacrificed
without a fight
A victim of his circumstance
Now that I've
become aware
And I've exposed this tragedy
A sadness grows
inside of me
It all seems so unfair
I'm learning all
about my life
By looking through his eyes
Just beyond the
churchyard gates
Where the grass is overgrown
I saw the writing
on his stone
I felt like I would suffocate
In loving memory
of this child
So innocent, eyes open wide
I felt so empty as I
cried
Like part of me had died
I'm learning all about my
life
By looking through his eyes
And as his image
Wandered
through my head
I wept just like a baby
As I lay awake in
bed
And I know what it's like
To lose someone you
love
And this felt just the same
He wasn't given any
choice
Desperation stole his voice
I've been given so much
more in lifeI had to suffer one last time
To grieve for
him and say goodbye
Relive the anguish of my past
To find out
who I was at last
The door has opened wide
I'm turning
with the tide
Looking through his eyes
