Looking back, she really didn't know how things started, herself. It had been a strange reversal of roles, how she found herself on the other side, holding another frightened child's hand. "I'm not good with children," she told Grissom, but really, what she was really afraid of was the painful irony of it all.

Maybe Grissom had been right about her, but even so, she couldn't allow herself to be like him, to just let things go as they were. Somehow being dedicated to her work had not been enough, and then one day, she just found herself in the center, asking for a child named Brenda Collins, visiting Pamela Adler at the hospital. It was almost like a compulsion, at one point, but she hadn't done anything to stop it.

It hadn't been an easy five years. She had struggled with Brenda, and she knew at one point, she had to let her go, but the child learned to be comfortable with her, and only her. Brenda's first trip to her foster home had been the hardest, and Sara questioned herself a lot of times before why she hadn't filed to be Brenda's parent. Now she realized that she didn't because she had too many reasons, too many excuses not to. It had not been easier with the second foster home, the third, and the fourth.

Now sitting across Audrey Yates, the social worker whom had watched over Brenda and very frequently handed her over from one foster family to another, Sara still found herself wanting to leave, still found herself hanging onto her reasons.

"I'm so sorry, Sara. If I had known that she would be asking this of you, I would have never dropped her off." Audrey was saying, handing Sara cup of coffee. Sara took a quick glance around the room—filled with framed pictures of children and their letters to her. Sara had been introduced to Audrey three years ago and was impressed with her fine balance of empathy and professionalism, which was sometimes hard to do, Audrey had confided in her some time ago.

"What went wrong with the last family?" Sara asked, hoping that it wasn't as bad as she had feared. Being in the foster home system for a long time herself, God knew how many horror stories turned out to be true.

Audrey exhaled loudly, blowing up wisps of her brown bangs over her forehead. "Long story short, the other children didn't like her. You know how Brenda could be like—unsociable, to say the least. The parents tried their hardest, but…they didn't want it to turn ugly."

"Their kids asked them to choose, didn't they." Sara said quietly, dropping her gaze into her coffee mug.

Audrey sighed. "Yes, they did. I don't know, Sara. Brenda's a lovely kid, but somehow there isn't anyone who'd want to get to know her. You know how it is. It takes some time, a long time, for Brenda." She took a sip from her mug and smiled a bit. "Remember Mrs. Andrews?" Sara nodded. ""Economic status was a bit iffy, but I let her take Brenda because she was a little bit like you."

Sara was sure one eyebrow went into orbit when she heard this, but she couldn't help but laugh. "What? Really?"

"There were other factors too, but let's just say that tipped the decision to her favor." Audrey allowed herself a small smile before turning serious again. "Look, Sara, I know that we've had this conversation a lot of times before, and I know Brenda's very special to you…"

"I'm seriously considering to adopt her, Audrey." Sara interrupted, in a sudden exhalation. Audrey stopped mid-sentence, and Sara was pretty sure her face seemed to be as surprised as the woman's opposite her. "I know, this seems pretty sudden, and I know the responsibilities…"

"What about your job?" it was Audrey's turn to interrupt. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to underestimate you…but are you really up to this? This isn't like adopting puppies, you know. You can't just bring her back when you know you can't…"

"Well I'm sure that's what Brenda is feeling right now, like a returnable puppy, now doesn't she?" Audrey turned pale at this, and Sara regretted her words immediately. "I'm sorry, Audrey, I…"

The older woman stared at the desktop, as if to pull herself together. They sat in uncomfortable silence for a while until Audrey looked up again. "That's okay, Sara. I understand."

"That was a terrible thing for me to say…" Sara began desperately, mentally kicking herself for being horrible and immature, and at the same time wondering whether she was ready to be responsible for a child.

"But it's true." Audrey said softly. She seemed to decide on something and nodded. "If you've really made up your mind about this, then I'll support you on this."

The sudden rush of happiness erased any doubts in Sara's mind. She reached out and shook her friend's hand. She couldn't say it, she couldn't express it, but Audrey saw her smile, and felt comforted. "Thank you, Audrey. Thank you so much."

"You just gave me a lot of paperwork, but what can I do." They both laughed, and it felt strange for Sara to realize at that exact moment, that she might have found a true friend in this city.


Nick looked up just in time to see Grissom swing through the doors, looking mildly surprised to see him instead of the coroner.

"He had to take a very important call." Nick informed him before Grissom could say anything. Grissom nodded slightly and went over to the other table, where a blonde woman lay, already deeply immersed in his notes.

"You have a DB, too, huh?" Nick said, trying to make conversation. "What's yours like?"

"Caucasian female, mid-twenties, and that's all I can say." Grissom replied, one eyebrow raised, sounding slightly sardonic. "I'm hoping the Doc can tell me some more about cause of death."

Nick knew better than to push his luck and try asking Grissom some more questions he probably still didn't know the answer to. So he went back to the realm of the living. "So, uh, where's Sara?"

"Still at the crime scene with Greg." Grissom replied, back to his clipboard.

"How is she, anyway? Haven't seen her in a week." Nick persisted. Grissom looked slightly irritated, and turned back to him, taking his glasses off.

"She's doing fine, Nick. Is this conversation going anywhere?"

"Yeah, well… I was just wondering how her adoption thing was going on." And as soon as he said it, Nick immediately regretted it when he saw the flicker of confusion that passed through Grissom's face.

"Adoption? What adoption?"

She is going to kill me. But with the way things are going, it looked like he'd be long dead when Grissom was through with him. He cleared his throat and tried to sound casual. "Ha—hasn't she told you? Brenda Collins…she's planning on adopting Brenda Collins."

"Brenda Collins?" Grissom's brow furrowed in confusion. "You mean the little girl from four years ago? THAT Brenda Collins?"

"Yeah, hasn't she told you?" I should stop repeating that sentence. He scolded himself. "She's been seeing a lot of her, and now she's planning to adopt her…they've been talking a lot."

"What…" Grissom took a step but at the same moment Dr. Robbins came in.

"Alright, what's the problem here?" he said rather cheerfully before stopping midstep, not realizing how much of an understatement his greeting was.


I guess this is where her room is going to be. Sara thought to herself, surveying the extra room where she had kept her some of her books and gym equipment. Slowly but surely she was clearing up her life to make room for Brenda. Whether she would be allowed to adopt her was still a question hanging in the air, but Sara decided to start early and get used to it.

A quick and sudden rap on the door broke her thoughts. Wondering who it could be, she hurried to answer it. To her surprise, who else but Gil Grissom stood at her doorway. She forced a smile to hide her surprise.

"Don't tell me. I'm in trouble with Ecklie. Again." She quipped, trying to sound casual about it.

He didn't smile. "No, you're not."

"Oh." That was off-putting. She was really expecting that she was in trouble with Ecklie. Then her expression melted into puzzlement. What was he here for, then?

"Do you want to go out?" she heard him say.


Wow! I put in Grissom! And Nicky's in trouble with Sara!

Thank you for the kind reviews, everyone! All of you are really amazing writers, too, and it's really something to get positive reviews from you. This really keeps me going. :)

And I know it's short. Will make a longer Chapter Three. Stay tuned