Disclaimer: Is Inuyasha mine? No, I'm afraid not. Though I wouldn't mind . . . Honestly!

A/N: Here's the second chapter, y'all! Thanks to Neo Genesis1 and DarkAngelPearl for being my first reviewers! Peaches to you guys! Hope you and the rest enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. And again I aplogise for the bad grammar . . .


Page 26

Chapter 2: The Three Stooges

Her head was throbbing like she had the worst hangover in mankind history, but funnily enough, she couldn't remember drinking or partying. And her butt hurt like she had landed on pointy rocks . . . which she had, now that she got a closer inspection. How the hell had she landed here? . . . Oh, yeah . . .

The chaotic evening at the Higurashis came back to her, accompanied with a worried frown. Looking back, she could remember Grandpa Higurashi being slightly scary . . . Make that bloodcurdlingly scary.

It was HIS fault her rear felt like a bunch of torpedoes had missed their target and went for her ass instead.

"Uhggh . . . I feel like I fell down a mile long well . . . Oh, yeah. You did, silly." She grumbled as she hauled herself up from the soil and glanced up.

It was sunny, she noted with a wince. She must've been out cold for quite some time now if it was morning already. And –

"Sodding shit!" She slapped herself dumbly as she stared at her digital wristwatch. "10:29. Great. I'm late again."

At least she hadn't 'overslept' this time. This time she had been unconscious, like really knocked out, more like. But she had a feeling her boss wouldn't forgive her quite in the same manner he had in the past. He really was a bona fide prick, after all. Though she doubted he would manage to hire another secretary after her . . . since the job wasn't particularly popular.

She thought she should give him a call but after checking her cell phone for a signal, it seemed as the whole device was dead around here. Maybe I shouldn't have saved that crazy grandpa from choking. He knew I fell in here and he couldn't even heave me up for pete's sake, Misato scowled.

But for now she had to get out of that hellish hole Grandpa had made her topple in to. It was hard work, but Misato climbed up by the help of strong vines that grew on the walls of the well.

Then she noticed something else.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore . . ." She whistled amazed as she stared around at the beautiful scenery. The Shrine was no where in sight. Neither were the office blocks of modern Tokyo. No cars, no shoe shops, no restaurants, no fast-food chains, no buildings at all.

Instead a view filled with trees, bushes and grass was all around her. She could even hear birds chirping and frogs quacking nearby, which in itself was rare in a big city.

This is unbelievable . . . Misato stared at everything around her as she wandered aimlessly in one direction, her mouth forming a small 'o' in astonishment. At least ten years had passed since she last saw such a pure looking environment and it dumbfounded her. Oh, I wish I had my camera! She puffed out dreamily as she circled around a very chunky tree.

A twig snapped and she spun around to face a big bush she could faintly hear chatter from.

"Who's there?" Misato called out tentatively. "Better not be anything dangerous or I'm digging out my pepper spray!" Okay, so she had no pepper spray in her bag, but a little bluff was allowed in an alien place where all she had for protection was a couple of squirrels and a few birdies.

The bush shook violently and two scantily clad men stepped out. They were having a conversation.

"He said it was around here?" One asked the other.

"Yeah, but I don't see it . . ." The other answered.

Misato blinked.

Then blinked again.

"Uhh." She managed intelligently. "Hi."

The duo stopped in their tracks and ceased their talking. Their eyes went huge at seeing her and they seemed rather appalled by the sight of her; a summer dress, a designer bag, sandals with pencil-slim heels and fluffy curls of light brown hair framing her face.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Any idea where I can find the nearest telephone booth?" She asked politely once she got her voice back. The two of them were wearing mainly armour and fur on their bodies; one had a punk hairdo when the other had a grey wig or something. They didn't seem very up to date to her.

They stared at her as if she was talking some sort of gibberish.

Misato frowned. "The telephone booth, please? Where can I find one?"

"It's a weird looking human. Is she searching for a shard?" One whispered to the other, although Misato heard him quite well.

"I think so. Check out those bizarre clothes!" The punk answered excitedly. "Maybe she has a shard! We could beat her up and take it from her and then give it to Kouga!"

Misato's arched her eyebrows.

"Or maybe, we could tie her up and wait for Kouga so he can beat her into a pulp and take the shard she's hiding!" The wig person explained enthusiastically as the other nodded vigorously.

"Yeah! Let's do that!" The other answered and they turned to her with innocent expressions.

Misato backed a step with a grimace. Those innocent looks were the most horrid sight she'd seen so far in her life.

"We know where a tepelhone is!" The punk lifted a clawed finger cleverly and elbowed his comrade in his side.

I don't think so. Misato wasn't very convinced after hearing their little 'plan'. She was glaring at the pair with her hands on her hips as if she was a scolding mother who had just caught her children red handed at the cookie jar.

"It's a telephone, bimbo." She narrowed her eyes. "And I know what you're scheming. But you try it and I'll Judo Chop you."

"Judo -"

"- Chop?" Dumb and dumber scratches their heads and decided it sounded dangerous for their stances turned defensive in a flash. "Bring it on, human girl, bring it on!"

"Watch me, I will!" Misato showed them some impressive kung fu moves she'd seen on TV and left them trembling in fear (or so she thought). She never took notice of the words 'human girl'. You go, girl, show 'em how to kick major butt! She congratulated herself mentally.

"We are the wolf demon tribe leader Kouga's right and left hand men!" They cried together as they punched the air and kicked the breeze in front of Misato who was left gaping like a fish on dry land. By golly, these dudes have practised! She thought momentarily.

"I am Kibimori Hakkaku!" The punk gave the air a black eye and settled into a nice Charlie's Angels ending posture.

"I'm Akubo Ginta!" The wig kicked the breeze's balls and landed beside his pal, both crossing their arms over their chest at the same time.

"And you don't stand a chance against us!" They said together as they tilted their noses arrogantly.

Misato said nothing. These fellows looked pretty dodgy, if not downright dangerous. And she still hadn't figured out the mystery with their odd clothes. The fur looked real enough, but she didn't know a single country where men dressed like THAT; like some kind of man whores . . .

"What the fuck are you two morons up to now?" A masculine voice interrupted their confrontation and the duo along with Misato turned towards the newcomer.

It was a very handsome young guy, she noticed instantly, with abs like an ActionMan doll. Though he was clothed similarly to the two knuckleheads, she didn't mind seeing quite a lot of his tanned body (unlike with the others). His black hair was tied up in a pony tail and his crystal blue eyes surveyed her from top to toe as he leaned against a tree nearby.

"She is hiding a Shikon shard!" Ginta pointed at her accusingly.

"Yeah! We were trying to beat her and make her give it to us!" Hakkaku agreed with another pointing finger in her face.

"What's a Shikon shard?" Misato couldn't resist asking. This guy could be her knight in shining armour and he'd save her from these two lunatics! She could already envision herself being carried off in his strong arms to his faraway castle and he would buy her every Gucci shoe in the world . . .

"You carry a shard, woman?" The blue-eyed man asked, walking towards the group – and Misato noticed something strange hanging from his ass . . . a TAIL! "You smell funny, human. That must mean you have one. Give me it!" He demanded bossily.

She blinked at him in shock. This man had a tail.

"So CUTE!" She giggled girlishly and rounded him to get a good look at his tail. Kouga stepped back from her, almost choking on his tongue. "Is it real? Oh. My. God: It is!" She yanked it curiously and made him yelp in pain and dash away from her.

Now he was just angry.

"Give me the shard or I'll take it by force!" He growled, baring sharp fangs.

"Kouga . . . !" Hakkaku and Ginta said in awe, but they were both glancing around in anxiousness, as if something was about to burst out from the bushes around them.

"Kagome wouldn't be happy to hear you talk like that to a human . . ." Ginta warned as he and Hakkaku huddled closer together. Misato whirled around to face them with large eyes.

Something was telling her that her beginning neighbourhood-ship with the Higurashi family would help her out of this and Misato had never distrusted that sense.

"Hang on a minute before you do a body search or whatever!" She lifted a finger into the air in front of the trios' noses. "I haven't got the faintest idea what you're babbling about, but apparently you're going to rob me. And you mentioned Kagome. I know Kagome! Higurashi Kagome, right?" But what was Kagome doing in a place like this? Had her own grandpa scared her half to death and thus made her trip into the well in the same manner Misato had?

Kouga's blue eyes widened.

"You – you're acquainted with Kagome?" He asked suspiciously. "How?"

"She lives right next door to me, darling." She clarified, shaking the finger back and forth before his face. "I've never met her, but I've met her mother, brother and grandfather. They're really nice. Although I admit that her grandpa is slightly intimidating–"

Kouga snatched her hand in midair and held it in a vicelike grip. His eyes gazed at her ring in fascination until he slid it off her finger before Misato had anything to say in the matter.

"I knew it. I knew you had one!" Kouga cackled devilishly.

"What – Excuse me, that's my ring." Said Misato persistently, extending her hand with the palm upwards. "Give it back, please."

"A shard . . ." She heard Hakkaku and Ginta breathe as they too gazed at it in interest.

Misato tried to grab it back, but Kouga curled his fist around it protectively and held his hand out of her reach.

"That's no damn shard or what the heck – it's a gift from my crush, Asukai Jiro, if you must know. And I would appreciate it if you handed it back, dimwit. It has a lot of sentimental value." Misato huffed shyly. Oh yes, it had a LOT of sentimental value, all right.

Jiro was the real love of her life and ever since junior high school she had been quite smitten with him. Nowadays he worked in the building opposite of her job house – NOW she remembered why she had chosen the job :) – but unlike her, he was a successful manager to a famous rock band. She saw him sometimes during their lunch breaks and the tale involving the ring was from her school times. He had given it to her on Valentine's Day (he had given every girl a ring on that day), but she thought hers was more special. Unfortunately, Jiro considered them as very good friends only. The nightmare of every woman in love.

And now back to the present, Misato mused with a shake of her head as the boy started talking.

"Don't pretend to so oblivious, girl. Everyone in the country is hunting these shards and I wouldn't doubt you being one of them." Kouga taunted. "I mean, look at this . . ." He lifted her arm and poked at her tiny muscle with a one claw. "I bet you wouldn't mind having a bit of the jewel's power for yourself, eh."

She tore away from his grasp and frowned, having no idea what the maniac what talking about. "I beg your pardon! I like my physique as it is, thank you very much." Misato replied arrogantly, tipping her chin higher. "And that ring is just as ordinary as I am, so hand it back or you'll regret the day you were born."

"Are you threatening me?" He narrowed his eyes furiously.

"Yes! Yes, I am!" Misato challenged his furious glare with a matching one.

"Well, what are you going to do about it? Glare me to death?" Kouga mocked and ducked as Misato's Louis Vuitton bag came hurtling at his head. Apparently he had pissed her off as much as she had him.

"I can say with a 100 per cent confidence that I disliked you the very moment I met you,savage!" She bellowed with her cheeks tinted pink as usually when she lost her temper.

All she ever wanted was the directions to the nearest local telephone! And now look at her; here arguing with a scantily clad guy about her stupid ring when they could be kissing instead. Misato wanted to cry . . . but didn't, because she was no crybaby (at least not that often). This is robbery; she decided angrily and lowered her eyebrows.

Kouga glared at her and looked as if he had the urge to gut her with his bare claws. That bloody bag had nearly bonked his head off his shoulders . . .

"Fine!" She declared finally. "You take it then. But I'll make sure to report this to the first police officer I meet and don't even think about hiding. I know how you look like and I will tell them! You're going down, hoes!"

If he was a thief; he was a really brainless one. Here she waltzed around with a fake Louis Vuitton bag filled with goods such as a cell phone, a wallet, Dior lipgloss, Chanel sunglasses, socks, condoms, tampons and a nearly empty pack of cigarettes and keys to her apartment which was filled with even more expensive stuff! Hello? Was he the third knucklehead in their raiding band of thieves? Apparently so, but he had seemed smarter than the other two.

Kouga looked at her oddly after hearing her statement. Did he realize his stupidity and now wanted to steal her purse as well? Oh crap . . . "You're planning something, aren't you, bitch?"

Misato gasped in outrage . . . "BITCH? How dare you? Didn't your mother teach you any manners?" She flung her handbag at him again, but with an unnatural speed he leaped out of the way. "Oh, I'll show you what this bitch is made of, you impolite retard!"

She attacked him again, but somewhere in between her fit of fury, Kouga had given Ginta and Hakkaku the order to tie her up and a few moments later, she stood with her back against a tree with vines encircling both her and the tree. There was no way out of it. She tried and tried and shrieked and shrieked as Kouga and his companions looked at their handiwork with satisfaction.

"Heh heh." Kouga guffawed. "Now you aren't able to go through with your plan to steal back the Shikon shard, wench."

"What plan? I had no plan, for heaven's sake!" Misato wailed as she struggled with the vines. There was always another way to approach this situation . . . "If you are thinking about sexually harassing me; it's not gonna work like this, sugar. I admit it's kinky, but I prefer being the one tying you up against a tree, baby. " She smirked and a dimple showed in her cheek.

Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku ogled at her in horror.

"So what do you think? Shall we try it the other way around, hmm?" She gave him a wink and almost pissed on herself at the sight of their frightened faces. Soon she wouldn't be able to hold her laughter. And by the looks of it, Misato guessed it wasn't common for women to flirt in this place. What a pity.

Kouga walked up to her with a pondering expression. "Are you a whore?" He asked as if it was asking about the weather.

Misato shrieked again in rage and struggled to get loose and strangle him. "I AM NOT, you rotten mother fucker! YOU are the prostitute around here; walking around in hairy underwear and daring to ask me if I'M a hooker! When I get my hands on you I'll–"

Kouga transformed into a whirlwind before her eyes and sprinted off in the opposite direction of which he came. Hakkaku and Ginta glanced at each other and ran after him.

"Kouga! Wait for us!" They yelled.

"WAIT!" Misato called after them in panic. "Oi, you can't just leave me here . . . all alone! It's very rude to turn your back on a girl, didn't you know? What if I get harassed by an ogre – Oh, in the name of all that is holy . . .Screw YOU! I'm gonna sue you, I'll sic the S.W.A.T-team after you and we'll see how fast you're running with bazookas shoved up your asses!"

She continued screaming her throat hoarse as she watched the Three Stooges disappear into the forest.

X

Her shouting grew faint as the wolf trio spurted ahead towards Kaede's village in search of Kagome and her friends. Their business was urgent, but Kouga's nose had told him that a certain dog boy was already on his way to greet them . . . Probably waving Tessaiga around like a hooligan, slicing everything in his way.

But if he made the smallest scratch on Kagome, Kouga swore to kill him in the most painful way.

As they arrived at the village, the familiar group was already running towards them, waving happily (except Inuyasha, of course). Kouga hurried to Kagome and took her small hands in his.

"Kagome, I have missed you very much. Have you missed me?" He asked gently and squeezed her hands softly.

Kagome blushed somewhat and Inuyasha growled lowly. "Ah, well . . . Of course I did, Kouga-kun. It's always nice seeing other friends now and then." She smiled broadly as she tried to fidget her hands out of his grasp. Inuyasha stepped between then, thus breaking the contact and smirked smugly at the wolf demon.

"She isn't interested in you, wimpy wolf, so get out of her face!" He crossed his arms over his chest arrogantly as Kouga started growling and took a battling position. Miroku, Sango and Shippou rolled their eyes, knowing what was ahead.

"I think I'm psychic." Miroku commented casually as the three stood in a row and watched the familiar scene unfurl. "I know exactly what is going to happen next."

"Then you're not the only one, Houshi-sama." Sango stroked Kirara's head and nodded slowly.

"Kouga's gonna punch Inuyasha, isn't he?" Shippou joined their conversation as he was sitting on Miroku's shoulder and shaking his head at the two boys fighting over Kagome.

SMACK!

Inuyasha got a hard punch in his face, but he was soon attacking back and a fight unfolded in front of them. Kagome was standing by her bicycle, her eye twitching. "Knock it off, you guys . . ." She sighed, but no one paid her any attention.

"Right you were, Shippou." Miroku was also shaking his head sadly at them all. "You know what? I could make money on this; it's just like a gamble. What say you, Sango? Have the guts to place a bet on one to win?" He dug his money purse from his robes and jingled it in front of Sango's face with a huge mischievous grin on his handsome face.

She slapped his hand away. "Houshi-sama! Inuyasha's our friend; you shouldn't go betting – Ouch, that must've hurt – anything on him! What do you think he'd say if you were using him like this to try and earn money?" She said absentmindedly, looking both Inuyasha and Kouga receiving strikes.

"'Hell yeah, I'll beat Kouga into a bloody pulp and make you filthy rich'?" Miroku guessed with a shrug. "C'mon, Sango. He won't find out . . . I promise."

Shippou was too busy watching the fight to pay attention to the grown-ups. So were the two wolf demons, Hakkaku and Ginta.

"But Kagome would get upset. Although it looks like she's daydreaming – Oh, what the heck." Sango sighed and dug her money purse out as well.

"I know you couldn't resist a challenge . . ." Miroku remarked haughtily.

"Shut it, Houshi-sama – GAH! PERVERT!"

She thwacked him with Hiraikotsu.

Kagome was in a major mental dilemma at the moment. If she would 'Sit' Inuyasha, he'd never forgive her and she'd make him seem like a loser in front of Kouga, but how else was she going to stop this silly fight over her? Oh gods, this was NOT why they had ran to meet with the wolf youkai! She had –

"You have a new Shikon shard, Kouga-kun?" She asked, interrupting their fight. Inuyasha froze and therefore got a particularly tough blow into the side of his face, because he was no longer paying heed to the wolf but was instead gazing at Kagome like she had declared an undying love to Naraku.

"He has?" The rest of Kagome's companions questioned in a perplexed choir.

She walked up to Kouga and pointed at his finger where a very feminine ring curled around his pinkie. "I think it's the one I sensed earlier, Inuyasha. The one which appeared from the direction of the well." She explained, giving Inuyasha a quick warning glance. She thought it would be best if she handled this situation, since the demons would only battle.

Inuyasha punched Kouga and made him stagger back. "What was THAT for, you mangy pile of dog shit?"

"Give the shard to Kagome or I'll punch you again, wimpy wolf!" He snarled and waved a fist before his nose.

Kagome sighed irritably and stepped between the two bickering males. Glancing over her shoulder at Inuyasha, she whispered to him, "Calm down, Inuyasha. Maybe he has a good reason to have a new shard, who knows? Let me take care this if you're just going to act like your normal self and think with your fists instead of your brain." She turned to a smirking Kouga. Oh, of course he had heard it. She forgot about the super senses these youkais possessed . . .

Inuyasha growled at the sight of his rival's smirk, but before he could act upon his violent cravings, Kagome clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Why do you have a new shard, Kouga-kun?" She enquired politely, smiling like an angel.

Kouga wanted to melt. "I was coming to see you and ask if I could borrow a shard because Ayame is kidnapped by the Mountain Cats," A collective gasp went through the crowd, "I made a promise to save her and I need more powers to defeat all those smelly furballs!" He drawled angrily, feeling like punching something once again. Like Inuyasha for an instance.

Kagome's eyes were glimmering and she had her hands clapped together over her heart. "That's SO romantic! You're her hero!"

Inuyasha quickly dragged her behind him because of the look Kouga was sending her. But then Kouga had the advantage of acting upon HIS violent cravings and hit Inuyasha square in his face, making the dog demon cuss wildly as he stumbled to get revenge (Miroku covered Shippou's ears to prevent him from hearing such foul words). Kagome was dragging Inuyasha back by his red haori and rolling her eyes to the sky.

"What did you do THAT for, you fucking wimpy stinky fleabag?" Inuyasha yelled aggravated, trying to get free from Kagome's grip.

Kouga shrugged. "Felt like it."

"Aren't we s'posed to be talking about the new Shikon shard Kouga has?" Sango pointed out suddenly.

Kagome nodded. "Exactly. Now stop your childish squabbling. Where did you get it from then, Kouga-kun?" She asked, once again moving in front of Inuyasha and becoming sort of a human shield, tough it worked both ways; preventing both demons from attacking each other.

He shrugged indifferently. "I got it from a human wench in the forest. A strange looking thing, she was. But definitely up to nothing good; wandering around a forest in foreign clothing, speaking weirdly and carrying a Shikon shard! So we tied her to the Goshinboku." He folded his arms over his chest and tilted his nose up into a cocky angle. He made sure to tell Kagome he hadn't hurt her.

"Foreign clothing? Like Kagome-sama's?" Miroku pondered out loud.

Kouga nodded slightly. "Yes. Same outlandish fabric." He glanced at the sky and noted the sun's position. "I must take my leave, Kagome. Ayame must be saved. Later!" And he shot off in a tornado with Ginta and Hakkaku running after him and screaming for him to wait.

Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kirara and Shippou exchanged worried looks. It sounded as if some future girl had come through the well with the help of a Shikon shard ring and was now tied to the Goshinboku. Dear merciful God. What was this all about?

"Let's go!"


A/N: Um . . . Okay, I don't know what to think about this chapter, so you'll have to tell me was it good or did it suck? Though this chapter was just building the plot and I know there was no Sesshoumaru goody innit, but just wait. He'll appear again soon enough in all his holy sexiness. Thanks for reading! Review pretty please?