You seem to forget, this is CeeCee's story. Not Suze's. Jesse can't be in here too much. CeeCee can't even see him. But if you insist . . . he's in this chapter too.

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After that torturous Religion class, it was lunch. Thank God. I didn't know why, but I wasn't in the mood to eat. I mean, even though I had nice enough food or whatever, I just wasn't hungry. My stomach felt like it was full of hot fluid. Like someone had tipped scalding water down my throat, and it was burning my digestive system. I don't know . . . It was weird. I usually eat normally.

But whatever, I wasn't now. So what? No big deal.

Suze and Adam had already grabbed a bench to themselves out in the courtyard. Suze looked radiant - she had a huge smile swimming across her face and her eyes were glowing with happiness. I don't know what, but she kept casting looks to next to her. Weird, it wasn't like there was anything there. I walked over boredly, and say next to her - but jumped straight up again.

'Christ!' I snapped, as I felt shivers shoot up my butt, 'did someone leave ice there or something?'

Adam smirked. 'Want me to warm your butt up for you?' he asked me.

I flushed and then gave him a dirty look. 'Grow up,' I said, still looking at the spot next to Suze. Was there like, an air draft coming in that I hadn't seen? Or what?

Suze was grinning slyly. 'What?' I wanted to know. I was surprised at how my tone was so sharp. Her hand rested on nothing in particular next to her. Like she was pretending to lean on something. She was making it look pretty convincing, too. She'd be a great mime. 'Nothing,' she said sweetly, tossing her hair.

I shrugged and sat opposite them on the ground. 'Whatever, Simon.'

Adam was scoffing a salad roll hungrily, a look of content on his face. As if to say, 'Life is sweet.' Well, at least it was going well for him. Oh yeah, of COURSE it was going well for him. He was partnering Suze in something.

I sighed, and looked around boredly, but looked back up when I saw Suze murmuring to herself under her breath. 'Huh?' I said.

Suze turned her head towards me and blinked. 'What do you mean, "huh?" I didn't say anything.'

'Yes you did,' I pointed out.

She shrugged. 'No I didn't. I was, um, talking to myself. I do that a lot. If you see me doing that now, don't worry.'

Adam grinned. 'Yes, we'll just know that you're quietly going insane. What colour straight jacket do you want? Red or white? I think that you'd make a statement in the red, Suze...red is so you,' he said.

Suze looked to her left, and then back at Adam.

And again with the smiling and the murmuring.

I didn't understand it. I really wanted to, but I just thought it would be better to avoid the inner working's of Susannah Simon's mind. Oh well. I sighed yet again, and Adam looked down at me, frowning.

'What's the look for, Cee?' he asked me.

I blinked up at him.

Oh, just the fact that you are completely head over heels for a girl that isn't me when I am completely head over heels for you but I am starting to get the hots for some other guy who is completely head over heels for Suze and I don't know up from down anymore and everything seems weird and it's like I've been pulled into this huge square and it SUCKS BEYOND BELIEF.

Well, it was more of a love pentagon, if you included this Jesse guy. Just to think . . . whoa, a ghost . . . he could be anywhere. He could be right under my very nose, huh? It was creepy. He could make something float, or make some weird noises, or possess someone or something . . .

WHY WAS SUZE STILL MURMURING?

That was when, oh, just to complete this confusion, Paul came swaggering over. No, I don't mean that exaggerated swagger than people in Broadway do. Nah, just a confident, sexy sway that seemed to boast how tall he really was. I found myself staring up at him as he stood over Suze, grinning. 'Hey, is this seat taken?' he wanted to know, motioning to Suze's left.

Suze glared at him.

'Yes, actually, it - ' she began, but then looked quickly at me and Adam, and stopped, her eyes turning away. Paul grinned some more. I didn't get why it was such a big deal.

So I helped Suze out.

'There's no one sitting there,' I smiled at Paul, trying to be friendly. Suze immediately turned to glare fiercely at me.

Oh. Oops . . .

Paul nodded. 'Ah, there you go, Suze. CeeCee knows how to socialize. You could get some pointers from her.'

'Fine,' Suze hissed back, 'Sit down there. Let's see how well that goes. How it looks for you to be floating on -'

Paul coughed loudly and glanced casually at Adam, and so did Suze.

Okay . . . something was DEFINITELY up . . .

I watched both of them curiously, not understanding what was happening. Floating? Why would something be floating? Wouldn't it be cool to just floating? But yeah, why would Paul float?

This was so ANNOYING.

Paul looked coldly at the space besides Suze. God, what did he have against the space, anyway? What did that space do to him? Why was he glaring like he was going to commit homicide? Jeez . . .

Anyway, after a few very awkward seconds, Suze muttered something under her breath, and invited Paul to sit down. Oh, not happily. She had a very ugly look oh her face, like she'd just found out that she was adopted or something. It wasn't pretty, her grimacing like that. I didn't know why, either. I mean, Paul hadn't said anything wrong.

However, when Paul sat down, he - unlike me - did not get shooting icy pains up his butt. Well, it didn't look like it. I wasn't going to like, ask or anything. That would be weird . . .

Suze appeared to have lost some confidence. God, that girl is such a mystery. I couldn't, for the life of my, figure out why she was being such a headcase over this Paul guy. I mean, it wasn't as if he was really annoying her. He was just being friendly. And wanting to sit with us? Well, I thought that that was sweet, you know? In a very minimal-stalker kind of way, but yeah.

So Suze was sitting in between Paul and Adam, the two guys that wanted her bad. It was kind of ironic, how that happened, and I was on the floor, staring up at all of them, with a sudden loss of appetite. Hmm, ironic indeed. Actually, no. It kind of pissed me off. I didn't know why, but it did.

Suze looked very weird. Like she was trying to swallow an aspirin that was quickly dissolving in her mouth, and she could taste all of the medicines that were in the powdered tablet, and was trying to force it down her throat, but it was sticking to the back of her tongue, refusing to just be washed away.

May have exaggerated there a little, but in general, she'd looked better, we'll say.

As in, the whole "if Paul Slater says one more word I'm going to poke out his eyes" was a whole new thing for us.

Er, yeah.

Paul, grinning at Suze and her silence, suddenly looked down at me. 'So, CeeCee,' he said good-naturedly, shooting Suze a sideways glance, 'That assignment. What, do you want to come over and work on it?'

I flushed a dark shade of magenta. M - me? Go to a g - guy's house? A guy other than Adam? What was he talking about? I stared at him as if he were crazy.

Which I was truly starting to think he was. I mean, hello? I'm CeeCee Webb. I don't get asked over to other peoples' houses, at all. Save Adam and Suze. But yeah, and certainly not a guy's house, even if it IS only for homework. Which is ALL I wanted it to be, mind. Nothing other than good old- fashioned homework, you know? Well, I think . . . I don't know. I didn't know much anymore –

That was when St. Susannah had to intervene.

'Don't even think about it, Paul,' she snapped at him, with a fire in her sparkling jade eyes. Paul turned to look at her, with an expression that opposed her own. It was mocking, and amused, and kind of . . . er, well, insidious.

Joy.

'I think that CeeCee actually has a right to answer,' he shrugged at her. 'Just because you don't want to come over, it doesn't mean that she doesn't. After all, it is for school. And school's important Suze.' A kind of weird smile claimed his lips, and it made me go all jittery inside. It wasn't exactly enticing anymore, now it was just . . . well, errant.

Suze was giving him a steady glare, as if she wanted to say something, but didn't want to at the same time. Maybe it was just because me and Adam were there. Maybe she wanted privacy. You know what? I reckoned that she didn't want me to go over there because she was jealous. I think that - after so long of me being jealous of her - Suze Simon was a bit jealous of me.

I know it kind of seems uncanny, or whatever, but be serious. Suze didn't have someone chasing her. I think that that really annoyed her. The fact that Paul had moved on from her. Well, I dunno if he had, actually, but Suze probably thought so. And while Paul, by no means, wanted me to replace her in his affections, or whatever - ew, hell no - he was still asking me over, and not her.

Hello, Suze? Get your mind out of the gutter. It was for SCHOOL WORK, you freak.

. . . Whoa . . . it felt so weird to call someone a freak. Someone that wasn't me . . . it was as if I was the resident freak, and just, calling someone else that seemed wrong. But I was annoyed at Suze. I really was. It wasn't everyday that someone asked me to come to their house - to do SCHOOL WORK, FOOLS.

So who the hell did she think she was, spoiling it for me?!

'That'd be okay,' I said calmly up at Paul. He gave Suze a complacent, pointed look, and then grinned down at me, his million dollar smile making my face heat up again. I felt really strange. Light-headed again.

'You know,' Paul said, leaning down to me, all the while knowing precisely Suze's every move and expression,

'Your hair is gorgeous.'

Suze cracked.

'Okay, that's it,' she said murderously. She stood up, seized Paul by the elbow, and dragged him off in fury. Paul didn't seem to be protesting, but rather laughing at her. I blinked after them, and Adam - who'd finally choked down the salad roll, raised his eyebrows. 'What's her damage?' he wanted to know.

A wave of angry curiosity washed over me. Paul, he'd just said that my hair was . . . well, he didn't comment on how white it was, rather . . . you know, he said that it was nice and stuff. That had made me feel kind of . . . special. That someone wasn't teasing me for being albino. And while I do actually have very nice hair, people don't really notice it.

They first and foremost see only that it is white, and it's not normal.

Paul said it was gorgeous.

And then Suze had to spoil it . . .

So, with irritation, I stood up and tiptoed after where Suze had hauled Paul off to. I could hear her snarling at him from inside a classroom. I positioned myself outside the door, straining my ears.

'Paul, why are you doing this?' Suze wanted to know. She sounded really mad. Why should she be?

Oh it's okay, Cee. Remember, she's just a bit jealous.

Oh yeah.

Paul even sounded like he was smirking. I could hear a sickly sweet innocence dripping in his tones. 'Why do you want to know?' he asked dryly. 'You're not . . . jealous, are you?'

Ha! I knew it!

'What?' demanded Suze, sounded offended, 'are you KIDDING me? Come on Paul, I think we both know that I could rather walk over hot coals than be near you. Trust me, as we speak I'm regretting that Father Dom didn't install a "Gateway to Hell" just for my benefit. No, I'm asking, why are you doing this to my friends? Don't bring CeeCee into it. I don't care if you're pissed at me.'

Her tone sounded deadly. 'But don't you dare hurt her . . . '

Whoa . . . What the hell?

I heard Paul laugh a little. 'Oh, Suze,' he tutted in a voice that was swollen with mirth, 'You presume way too much. I'm not going to do anything. God, I actually think that schoolwork has some significance. I think lessons are very important. You don't. But I wish you'd realize that . . . '

He trailed off.

'And?' Suze prompted, with a pronounced bite.

'Well, you really need to realize that some lessons are important. You should really start showing up to said lessons. Because your teachers are getting very pissed, Suze. They're tired of waiting.'

There was something there, that I kind of missed. What was that supposed to mean? Lessons? Suze didn't wag classes or anything.

I mean, well, besides from that time she got booted out of school by Ernie for wearing a miniskirt, but that wasn't exactly her fault. Well, um, technically it was, but you know, she didn't actually SKIP class. She was kicked out. There's a difference there, I guess. Ha, something to be said for disobeying the rules. You can get out of school. Not that I'd want to.

And I'd sure as hell never EVER wear a miniskirt. Please, give me some credit? I have class, and reserve, thank you kindly.

But Suze's breath seemed to catch there. I heard her sigh. 'Look,' she said in what seemed to be defeat, 'The deal was a stupid thing I agreed to in the heat of the moment. I've talked to Jesse about it - he found out, because I was kind of babbling and he caught what I said - er, anyway, and yeah, he made me promise to tell you I wasn't going. You saw the way he was glaring at you just a second ago.'

What? Jesse had been here? WHERE?

My hearing suddenly intensified . . . Suze was talking about this Jesse guy, the one that she never seemed to mention anymore. I leant against the door, and even peaked at the corner on the little window near the top . . .

Suze was glaring at Paul. Well, that was obvious. She looked like she'd love nothing better than to pummel his face into a powdery substance. Which I thought was unfair. Because Paul wasn't offending her. I mean, these mysterious lessons? How bad could they be? Yeah. So what? I just couldn't understand how someone as strong willed as Suze could be such a wuss when it came to some guy.

I mean, an incredibly hot guy like Paul Slater, but yeah. Hey, that's a PLUS. So what was her problem with him? I mean, he was clearly into her. Why couldn't she just chase him for a change, then Adam would see that she had made up her mind, would come back down to earth and would plant a big fat one on my pearly white lips? I mean, HELLO? Where was her LOYALTY here???

. . . Well, I don't think it mattered. I mean, it was obvious now that Paul Slater had no intentions with me, except to use me to make Suze jealous. I mean, not that I wanted him to have intentions, ew. No, but it would have been sweet, you know? And new for me. I mean, when he asked me to go with him on this thing, my logic was saying, "Oh, cool. A nice, intellectual study partner. How pleasing."

But there was this little voice inside my head that was screaming, "OOOH LA LA, COME TO MUMMA!" Which made absolutely NO sense to me! I mean, mumma? Ew. Maybe it WAS the whole "mumma" thing that was throwing me. I mean, incest? Not a turn on. I couldn't understand what that little voice meant. Did it mean that I was going insane? Did it mean that some happy gas had leaked into the classroom?

Or was I subconsciously . . . I dunno . . . starting to see the new guy in a new light . . . ?

Moving on from Adam.

Oh, Mother of Mercy - who I don't even believe in, but WORK WITH ME HERE - please, no . . .

I didn't WANT to move on from Adam. I really, really, REALLY liked him. He was a sweetie, and my best friend. Who wants to move on from that? God no.

I just caught the end of what Paul said though . . . 'Well, you either come, Suze, or Jesse is kaput. And you will have no one to blame but yourself.'

Wait.

Stop right there.

Suze can see ghosts. We have established that. I could not. Apparently, he'd been in my presence very recently, and I didn't know. So . . . we must therefore come to the conclusion that Paul Slater is indeed aware of when there is a ghostly attendance. Which indicates . . .

PAUL SLATER CAN SEE THEM TOO.

Oooh, man . . . this sucks . . . ow, my head was all fuzzy.

That was when I saw Paul frown, and his head turned sharply towards me. He glared into my eyes for a split second, before I yanked myself away from the door in shock.

DARN. He'd seen me. He knew that I'd been eavesdropping! Oooh, this was NOT good. Now he would think that I was a nosy little nincompoop with no life of her own. Which was, well, true, but –

I didn't WANT him thinking of me like that!

I bolted away from there . . .

. . . And smack bam into Adam.

'Ooof!' he grunted as we fell to the ground together, me kind of . . . er, on top of him. I rolled off quickly, knowing that my face was as red as the blood I bleed.

'Whoa, Cee,' he frowned, standing up and holding his butt gingerly, 'What? They offer a free tanning service or something? We love your skin the way it is, don't succumb to the peer pressure,' he joked lamely.

I didn't even smile. I was too mortified. Waaaay too mortified. Paul knew that I had listened to his conversation, and Adam now had a sore butt because of me.

Am I ALWAYS like this? Seriously, please tell me if I am. Am I always such a loser, or is it JUST today? I swear, this was one of the worst days ever. Got tripped, got detention, fell asleep, Adam still was still lusting after Suze, and I'd just made his posterior painful, and I sucked, and Paul thought I was a loser, and I WAS a loser, and everything SUCKED.

I want to be Suze. I really do. Her life, my GOD. It's so easy! She has NO IDEA what I go through, pretending to be so agape with the boys all wanting her, when she probably really loves it. It wasn't fair. Why do some people get all the luck? And hear me when I say ALL.

'. . . I'm going to burn in hell, I swear,' I mumbled.

'Huh?' Adam frowned. 'Why? Won't that be like, concentrated sunlight for your skin or something?'

I looked daggers at him. 'Thanks, Adam,' I snapped.

He didn't look so jokey anymore. 'Hey Cee, anyway . . . I needed to tell you something.'

I gave him an expectant look.

An adamant – ha, Adamant Adam – mien claimed him. His eyes looked stubborn. 'Cee, you're my best friend. You know that, right?' he said.

Whoa . . .

'Yeah,' I said, raising my invisible eyebrows. Yeah, unfortunately.

He still had his eyes locked on mine. 'Cee . . . with that Paul guy, I can totally tell that you're into him. Don't even try, he's hot for Suze too.'

Too. As in, as well.

But . . . what the hell was he saying? Me like PAUL? Um – no, I just . . . not LIKED him, just –

'What are you on about?' I demanded sharply. 'I am NOT into – '

'Yes you are,' he rolled his eyes boredly. 'I knew you were gonna deny it. God, that was the first thing I knew you'd do. I know you too well,' he smile turned wry. I flushed in indignation. 'You obviously don't know me very well if you think I even LIKE that – Adam, he almost ruined Suze's chances for Vice – '

'That doesn't seem to bother you as much,' he shot back. 'I saw the way you were talking to him in Religion, Cee. It's totally obvious. And yeah, just stay away from him, or he's gonna use you to get to Suze.'

'No he's NOT!' I shouted, furious, 'I mean . . . uh – assuming that in some parallel universe that I did perhaps have an interest in him – '

'You're way too see-through,' he said confidently, 'Translucent skin aside, I mean.'

Usually when he bugged me about the albino thing, I was okay with it. But now . . . I was PISSED.

'Will you shut up about that?' I yelled, letting myself get more and more offended, 'I always knew that Brad Ackerman was a racist pig, but to think that you're following in his footsteps, well, THANKS. Big thanks, Adam.'

I threw out my most pained, enraged, fiery glare, and stormed away from him. I felt like I'd just ate pepper, and my throat was on fire. It burned like it hadn't before, because that was just it . . . I hadn't fought with Adam like that before. Tiffs, yeah. Argumentative debates, sure. But not a fight. Thus the pepperiness.

What was WITH ME?

Oh man . . . could this day get ANY worse?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

School ended. I survived through French and History, generally unscathed. Well, unless you count the huge assignment we got on Ancient Egyptian culture. Believe me, you don't wanna know. And oh yeah, the French letter we have to write to some exchange students that were going to come over. I was going to go to France, too, in the Summer Holidays, as part of the exchange program. It was starting to look more and more appealing. Baaaah, so was jumping off the Eiffel Tower. Kidding, guys, kidding. Just yeah, everything was complicated at the moment. I'm not suicidal, don't worry.

Well, not yet. If this keeps up, God, who knows?

I was just glad that I had managed to get two classes that did not contain either Suze, Adam, and most of all, Paul. I didn't know if I could deal, if one of them popped into the classroom. God, I would have had a coronary.

But of course, class was over. I still had to brave the locker room.

Oh yeah, and then Sister Ernestine, to find a suitable time for my DETENTION.

Part of me seriously wanted to tell Suze, just so she could kick Brad's ass so hard that sitting down would become a painful experience. But I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't let her fight my battles, hell no. I'd already kept from her how much the albino thing bothered me. She had no idea what a headcase I could be if I got onto the "life's so unfair" topic. You should hear me going, 'Why me? I didn't sign up to be an albino, why was I born like this? I didn't even get so much as a contract or a list of employee benefits, it's not FAIR' but that would only make her look at me like I was a freak. Which I was. It's not like SHE'D ever have anything like that to complain about.

(A/N: Beg to differ, Cee. Btw, I did that on purpose.)

Well, maybe that ghost thing. But seriously, how hard could THAT be?

I sighed as I carried my four textbooks and my file back to my locker. My arms were aching from the weight of the load. This was the burden I bore. Being smart came at a price – my arms will eventually drop off from carrying around all of my encyclopedias.

You gotta love it.

Not.

I was dreading seeing Adam now. Seriously, I could just imagine Suze, Paul and Adam waiting to ambush me at my locker with torches of fire and pitchforks and stuff. Melodramatic, I know, but still. It was possible, right?

Nah.

No one was waiting for me there. Oh, joy. I didn't know which was worse – the fact that Adam may still have been mad with me and was giving me the silent treatment, or if he had have come to yell at me some more. And with Paul and Suze? Well, that was basically the same. Paul had probably told Suze that I had overheard them, and now she probably found me an insufferable gossipmonger.

Neat. Real neat.

Dejectedly, I entered in the combination of my lock, and shoved my books in my bag, and then swung it on my back – which was also going to break some day. You watch – this time next year, I would be diagnosed with scoliosis or something.

I'd just finished closing my locker, when I felt a hand grip my upper arm. For a fleeting moment, I had imaginative fears – okay, maybe hopes – that it was Paul Slater.

Oh, Bless me Father, for I have Sinned.

No. It was Adam.

But he looked pissed . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Oooh. Well, you did realize when Jesse was there, right? Please say you did, lol. We know this chapter was confusing, but that's what's it's like for CeeCee. We're doing that on purpose.

Sorry it took a while to get up. Lolly has to alternate between writing with Kat for this and Hayley for Flashlight. Tough times, people . . . tough times.

Especially with writer's block for Addicted still.

Pray for her.

Snort.

Okay, we love ya'll.

LONG REVIEWS.

Lolly and Kat.