I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho...though it would be cool if I did.


Chapt. 3

Stiff As a Board, Heavy As an Elephant

I jolt to a sitting position at the sound of a large crashing sound. "Wazzamatta?" I mumble sleepily. Pain flooded through my body and I fall back onto a pillow.

"Finally awake? Good, I was tired of seeing you sweat," a familiar voice growled.

I look over to see Hiei sitting in a chair with his arms crossed - he looked terribly bored. "Well I didn't ask you to watch me!" I yell at him in a menacing growl.

"Better than Kuwabara or Urameshi," he states unaffected.

"I'd rather them watch me than an emotionally challenged fire/ice demon!" I retort.

His eyes snap open. "Fine!"

I stick my tongue out at him. I feel a nasty tasting hand grab it. I open my eyes, trying to get my tongue back.

"Want to lose that?" he snarls.

I glare at him.

He glares back.

I bite his hand, hard.

He lets go and walks out of the room. I wipe my tongue off vigorously before putting it back in my mouth.

Moments after Hiei had walked out of the room, Yusuke had walked to door.

"Can I come in?" he asked as he knocked on the frame.

"Sure," I give him a warm smile.

Silence fills the room as Yusuke sits in the chair Hiei had been occupying moments ago. The silence grew so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Sorry 'bout yesterday," I whisper to break the silence.

"Yesterday?" he looked puzzled.

"The Hiei incident," I inform him.

"Oh that..." he looks hurt. "Naah, don't worry 'bout it! Hiei needed a swift kick in the ass to prove he ain't all that! Besides, you fixed him up and took the damage yourself," he said, pointing to my bandaged chest.

"Ack! Yusuke you ass! Why didn't you tell me?!" I scream more incoherent things as I cover up.

"Hiei told me not to," he said in innocence.

"HIEI!!!!!" my voice rang through the house.

No answer.

I grumble some more and search around the bed for a T-shirt.

"What ya lookin' for?" Yusuke asked as he followed my gaze.

"A T-shirt," I answer simply, still searching.

"Um, Botan has yours in the wash and..." he paused to think while I continued my search. "Well, here," he finished. A big cloth landed on my head. I took it off and saw that it was Yusuke's shirt. I look at him.

"Er, thanks Yusuke," I say, fumbling with the buttons of the oversized shirt. "Won't you be cold?" I ask, pointing to his bare, muscular chest.

"Naah, but if I do...I want my shirt back," he said the last part with a grin and skipped out of the room.

"YUSUKE YOU PERV!" I scream after him. Why that little...oh well, I think, heaving a small sigh. I slide out of the bed – luckily I still had my pants – and walked out the door on the far side of the room. I stop in the barren hallway. Hmm, which way? Mmmmm, that way! I point left and walk the length of the hallway.

I came to a dead end. Doors lined the side along the way, but none indicated a bathroom or stairway, or anything useful for that matter. I leaned my back against the dead end wall and thought some more. Going back the way I came would be annoying; there's no smells of a kitchen and I'm starved, but that doesn't matter. Let's see, I could always open these doors one by one. The scents are so mixed, I wonder if this is a bedroom.

I push myself off the wall casually and walk to the closest door on my right. It looked safe enough. The black paint of the oak door looked fresh. It smelled fresh too. On a gold painted plate, there were numbers that read '623'. Weird.

I give a small knock on the hotel-like door.

No answer.

I knock a little louder.

No answer.

"Seems safe I guess," I say to myself and turn the golden handle. The door opened silently and clicked shut. I ran my hand along the walls on both sides of the door for a light switch. None. I look through the dark and see a large bed, a possible window, a bathroom or closet and another door similar to the other.

Silently, I made my way to the supposed window. Opening the curtain slightly, I reveal a wonderful lake view. The sun danced on its still surface. The surrounding forest was just as spectacular a sight. It looked perfect for my wolf and fox needs.

Creeping in between the satin curtains, I seat myself on a blood red window seat. Concealed behind the satin midnight, I sat in the warmth of the sun. I crack the window open a bit and breathe in the wonderful smells of oak, fish, birch, maple and other woodsy smells. I just lean back against the wall and let the wind and sun caress my bandaged face.

"What are you doing here?" a cold voice came from my right.

I open my eyes and turn to see Hiei. "Got lost," I say simply and go back to my previous position.

"So you came into my room?"

"Didn't know. The door just said '623'," I replied coolly.

"Couldn't your nose pick up my scent?" he sneered at me.

"Too many."

He let out a low growl.

I gave a fiercer one.

He grabbed me by the collar of Yusuke's shirt. "This is my room, get out," he snarled in my face.

"No," I say innocently, looking him straight in the eyes. Locked on the ruby color that shown in the sunlight, I saw his mouth moving but I heard no words. His eyes sparkled angelically as he held me roughly by the shirt. I couldn't help but smile as I gazed into his beautiful eyes.

"Are you listening to me?" he growled, shaking me a little.

"No," I answered, still locked in my dream.

He let go. I fell flat to the floor. When I sat up, I rubbed my nose.

"HIEI YOU ASS!" I yell as I jump up and chase him around his room. We knock over a few things: lamps, vases and figurines. Well, I broke most of them...over Hiei's head. The pillows were strewn across the room; feathers filled our hair. The bed looked awkward and the curtains...well, let's just say he might want to find some new ones.

"Whoa," he gasped, panting and sweating like a dog.

"You got...what you deserved..." I panted.

"For what?" Hiei asks, straightening up a little.

"Telling Urameshi not to tell me to cover up," I said, getting up from the floor.

"That."

"Yea, that," I say as I pick out feathers from my hair. When the last one was out, I looked up at Hiei. His appearance made me crack up, gaining a quizzical look from him.

"What?" he asks angrily, completely clueless.

All I could do was point. He walked to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror. His hair was covered in glass and red feathers. He looked like a clumsy flamingo that was just in a glass shop. He looked too funny for words.

"Haha," he sarcastically laughed.

"Damn straight!" I coughed between laughs. Hiei slammed the door shut and I laughed harder. When I finally settled down, Hiei walked out of the bathroom. He no longer looked like that crazy flamingo. "Much better."

"Hn."

"Dinner's...ready?" Yusuke says as he pokes his head in the room. "What the hell were you guys doing up here? Was there a fight I missed?" He looked utterly confused as he looked about the destroyed room.

"Kinda Yusuke, don't worry 'bout it. What's for dinner?" I ask, changing the of Kurama," he states. His head leaves but pokes back in quickly. "I want my shirt back," he grins evilly.

"Fine." In a quick second, I take off Yusuke's shirt, toss it to him and pull up a dome of fire over me.

"Cheater," he mumbles as he pulls the shirt off his head and closes the door. I make my way to a dresser, trying not to trip or step on any glass. I look up at the ceiling.

"Hiei?"

"Hm?"

"You don't have any lights."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Don't like 'em."

"Oh...that's cool." I continue to make my way to his dresser. Well, it was more like a nightstand. I open the top drawer and shut it quickly, my face becoming very hot. Never opening that drawer again!

Good idea.

Damn it, Hiei! Stay outta my head!

Would if I could.

Huh? Never mind!

What are you looking for? In my drawers I might add.

I need a shirt.

It's not like you have anything to look at. Your covered, just use that.

Hiei! In a house full of boys you honestly think I'd do that?!? Two of those boys are Yusuke and Kazuma!

True.

Which drawer are your shirts in. Don't want to stumble across another unpleasant sight.

Second.

Thanks. I pull out the second drawer. Guess what color I saw. I didn't. Hmm, black, black or black? He doesn't even have a red or that blue one I've seen. Wait, he was wearing that one when I fought him...I guess I ripped it to shreds.

Yes, you did...

Sorry...if your gunna be in my head, don't let me know it. Now, let's see. I'll wear this one...not that it looks any different than the others. I pull out a black tank top – not that he'd have anything different – and slip it on. It almost fell off. I let down my barrier. "Jesus Hiei, can you even fit into this?!" I exclaim, trying to hold the shirt up.

"Kurama bought it for me to 'grow into'," he says, walking over to me and pulling out a smaller shirt.

"Like you're gunna grow," I mutter.

Hiei gave me a death glare.

"I was kidding!" I gave a nervous laugh and grabbed the tank top Hiei was holding. I quickly changed shirts and stuffed the big one back in his drawer and shut it. This top fit much better. "Thanks Hiei," I say, giving him a hug.

His muscled tensed the moment I touched him.

"Sorry! Hugs are bad!" I say apologetically, picking myself from his shoulders. "Don't kill me."

He says nothing and does nothing...just stares in shock.

I wave a hand in front of his face. "Uh Hiei? Earth to Hiei."

Nothing.

I take his arm and drag him to the door. He still hasn't moved. I drag his stiff body back to were I started when I left my first room. "I guess I'll just wander around," I think out loud. "Damn Hiei! When they say stiff as a board, you take it seriously. But no one said the board had to weigh an elephant!" I say turning to his stiff figure.

Nothing.

"Damnit." I continue dragging Hiei along the halls. "This place is like a hotel: numbers on all the doors, wall lighting and good carpets. I guess it's more like one of those really fancy ones. But why would the Reikai Tantei live in a hotel?" I talk to myself often. This is one of those times when I'm bored and need to break the silence. I round a corner and continue babbling. "Why can't I smell the chicken Kurama is cooking? Unless Yusuke and Kazuma ate it all already. No, Kurama would've saved some for us. Right? Maybe the carpet cleaner is what's blocking my nose, the stuff is really strong." I stop at some stairs. I look back at Hiei. "I could always use him like a surfboard and just slide down. No, he'd murder me...if he ever gets up."

I let go of Hiei and sit down next to him. I wave my hand in front of his face a few times. When he doesn't move I give a large sigh. "Hugs are really bad." I lean in a little and gaze into his shocked eyes. He didn't even blink when I blew on them. "HIEI! WAKE UP!" I screamed in his ear.

He jolted up and looked around frantically. When his gaze settled on me, he gave a small glare. "Don't do that," he said in an artic voice.

"Which one? Hug or scream in your ear?"

"Both," he answered in that same artic voice.

I gave a nervous grin. "At least I didn't ride you down the stairs like I wanted to do," I confessed, scratching behind my head nervously.

"You're lucky. Where were you taking me?"

"Dinner, remember?"

"You're hopelessly lost."

"I figured as much," I snap.

"Come on," he said, unfazed. He stood up and walked away from the stairs. I silently stood up and followed him. We wound through halls that all looked the same. My stomach growled loudly.

"Hehe," I laughed nervously, blushing in embarrassment. "I've never gone this long without food."

He stayed silent and continued walking. I give him a funny look, but shake it off and follow him. After what seemed like ages, the smell of chicken and rice and other good smells fill my nose. I rush ahead of Hiei, following the wonderful smell. I arrive in heaven.

"'Bout time you got here! Kurama wouldn't let us eat 'til you showed up," Kuwabara whined.

"Geez, I thought your nose could sniff anything," Yusuke laughed.

I give a low growl. "This place's scents are all jumbled together, it would take hours to sift through!" I explain in agitation. "Besides, I had to carry that guy most of the way," I state carelessly, pointing my thumb over my shoulder. I can feel Hiei's hot glare on my neck. Discarding the thought, I take a seat in an empty chair and gaze at the wondrous food.

"Dig in," Kurama says cheerfully.

I do. Pulling a large piece of chicken onto my plate, I start to devour it. I finish it and reach for another. Yusuke goes for the same piece. I give him a death glare, bare my teeth slightly and give another low growl. He backs off quickly.

After about two chickens, three helping of rice and many compliments to Kurama later, I sit still and stare at my plate. I look up at Kurama, who was sitting across from me, and ask, "Where am I?"

Everybody about chokes on their food...well, except Hiei.

"Took you long enough," Hiei says calmly, taking another bite of his chicken wing.

"You are in the Reikai," Kurama says after he recovers.

"Oh...THE REIKAI?!?!" I jump up and knock my chair halfway across the kitchen. "I have to get home! My parents will be worried sick!"

"Why should you care? They're not even your real parents," he says emotionlessly.

"They may not be my real parents, Hiei, but they took care of me for seven years." I glare at him.

"Don't worry," Yusuke says calmly, "some girl named Osadyro called them and said you were at her house. I think she used the name Sam for them though."

"Oh...how do you guys know Osadyro?" I ask as I move to get my chair.

"She had a run-in with Yusuke a while back...he didn't come out too pretty," Kuwabara snickers. He receives a lump on the head from Yusuke.

"I remember that, she told me about it. She said Gorgonsceto wanted to eat you," I say, returning to my spot.

"Gorgonsceto?" Yusuke says.

"The dragon," I say coolly, reaching for a slice of garlic bread.

"That killing machine has a name?!"

"Dragon," I corrected Yusuke, stuffing the garlicky goodness in my mouth. "Most excellent Kurama!" I smile, complementing him for the zillionth time.

"Glad you like it," he smiles cheerfully.

"Well, that was a good meal...now what?" I say, pushing my pate back.

"Well, the girls will be here in a little bit for movie night," Kuwabara says, eating the final chicken wing.

"What we watchin'?"

"A comedy," Hiei says with a smirk upon his face, still chewing on his chicken wing.

"What one?"

"'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'," he says, taking another bite off the chicken.

"You sick, sick oni," I say, shaking my head in disgust. I look at his chicken.

"What?" he says, narrowing his eyes at me.

"You gunna eat that?" I point to the chicken wing.

He tosses me the half eaten piece of meat. I catch it in my teeth and start to rip the flesh from the bone. When finished, I stick the bone in my pocket and get up. I stretch a little and walk to another door that I hadn't been through yet. Upon opening it, a broom hits me in the head.

"Wrong door." I roughly push the broom back in and quickly shut the door. I turn to another door and open it more slowly. I peek in and see a living room. "That looks safe," I think aloud and walk in, shutting the door behind me.

I jump on the couch and stare at the TV. That got boring so I started to look for the remote. Hmmm, not there or there. Cushions? Nope. Under the couch? Nada. If I were one of these guys, where would I put a remote? I think for a moment before I throw my hands up. "I give up!" I sigh and lay back on the arm of the couch. I close my eyes and think of what has happened in my life: not very exciting. At least, that is, until these people showed up.