City of the Damned.

Jack found the drive back to C.T.U slow, too slow. It gave him time to think, which was never a good thing. Especially after a truthful yet hurtful conversation with Chase, someone who he used to trust, but now was another name to add onto the endless list of people he had failed. He leant onto the wheel as he tried to remember when he and Chase had lost what they briefly had together, a relationship of trust and understanding, mutual respect for one another.

He thought that maybe it was in Mexico, the kid hadn't understood, and probably never would understand, why he had pulled the trigger of the gun which had rested against his temple. Jack himself thought it was Kim which had triggered it. They had spoken often after his surgery, although he knew that the fact that they couldn't save his hand had taken its toll on Chase too. Jack thought that Chase had resented him for it, even if it had saved his life in the end. He shook his head as he realised it didn't mater when it had happened, it had and that was all there was too it. Just like everything else, he needed to forget it and move onwards, even if there seemed to be less and less to move on for, he had to keep going. There was nothing else for him to do.

His fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel tightly as he tried to relieve some of the tension from his body, he felt ready to explode. He was becoming increasingly frustrated with the slow moving traffic, but wasn't that enthusiastic to get back to C.T.U, so he didn't bother dodging through the line of vehicles as he usually would, instead he just sat their like everyone else. He rubbed at his eyes and pulled the visor down, risking a glance at himself in the small mirror attached to it. He quickly looked away again, he didn't liked to be reminded of who he was if he could help it. He would rather forget, but he didn't have a choice.

After finally arriving at C.T.U Jack broke into a stride as he entered the building, unnecessarily flashed his badge to the man on security as he passed through the main door. He was glad to be out of the cramped confines of the vehicle, trapped with himself and his thoughts. He quickly scanned the main floor but didn't see Tony so he headed up to his office. He thought about the phone call and wondered what was happening this time. In a sick way he realised he wouldn't mind a national terrorist strike right now, it would give him something to focus on, and would distract him for a while in the very least.

He tried to remember the last time he had been so involved in his work that he lost track of time, that the demons couldn't find him. Not like these days, where his eyes were always on the clock, as though he was waiting for something to happen. What, he didn't know. He just hoped it happened soon, he was getting tired of waiting for nothing. He quickly shut out those thoughts as his mind flickered back to the last time he had been fully involved in anything, it had been the preparation work before he left for Mexico... which had eventually led to the departure of Kim. He rubbed his eyes again in a weak attempt to get the image of her and her new life out of his mind. It didn't work.

He could picture her there, free of any worries or regrets and most of all, free of him. Most of all, he could picture her happy, which was an image he rarely saw after he took her mother away from her. Jack began to feel even worse as he could imagine just how happy Kim would be without him, yet he still wanted to ruin this picturesque image and go see her. He knew doing so would upset her, but he thought it would be worth it for all of the pleasure it would bring himself. He closed his eyes as he realised he should add another word to his list of the negative traits he housed. Selfish.

He opened his top drawer and fumbled through its contents until he found the little white tub containing his anti-depressants which the shrink had insisted he take. He studied the bottle and read the label through before letting out a slight laugh. He didn't know why he was laughing, it was just something to do, while his mind was swamped with thoughts. The thoughts of Kim were still coming through, dampening everything and dimming the little light he lad left in the process. He tossed the bottle into the wastepaper bin in the corner of the room and smiled as he saw it go straight in. He knew he didn't need the pills. Snapping him from his thoughts his extension rang, he knew it would be Tony. He reached across the desk and pulled the phone from its cradle.

"Bauer."

"Jack its me." Tony said, on the other end of the line. Jack could detect a mix of annoyance and worry in his voice as he spoke. He didn't speak and so the silence between them grew before Tony realised he should continue.

"Look, you missed the initial briefing so I'm gonna have to fill you in. I want you to come up to my office, now." He didn't wait for a reply, instead he hung the phone up instantly. Dealing with Jack was becoming increasingly difficult and he was running out of ideas for how to handle him. He was scared he was going to lose his grip on him. He knew that if he did, Jack would be out of control.