Tatsumi woke in an unfamiliar bed, an unfamiliar room, and to the sun streaming through the partially open blinds. He squinted into the light, trying to remember where he was and how he had come here.

He didn't need to remember what had happened, because those memories assaulted him right away. He screwed his eyes shut and moaned, feeling bile rise in his throat.

He had raped his lover.

He had lost control and taken Watari by force.

And he had let loose his shadows...

'Do you know what it means to be a Shadow Master?' his teacher had asked him in the beginning of his tutelage. 'It means to be at one's liberty to choose what to do. It means a freedom and a power few wield. The shadows are everywhere, all around us, and even in blinding light a shadow can be found. Your weapon is limitless, everywhere, and destructive. But it is a double-edged sword, Seiichiro. As a master you have entire self-control; you're not to be governed by passion. Being a master means consciousness, Seiichiro. Consciousness of your powers, of your self, of everything around you. Never lose that consciousness. Never.'

But he had lost it. Utterly and completely. He had lost himself and his control. And now he had lost everything.

When he finally crawled out of bed, he faintly remembered Tsuzuki's presence. His friend had been there, had talked to him, had helped him, and he had taken him home.

A humorless smile crossed his pale lips. Tsuzuki's bed. A decade ago he would have loved waking up here, preferably with Tsuzuki.

Now...

With a sigh the Shadow Master walked out the bedroom-

and froze.

On the couch in the living room sat a young man Tatsumi had never seen before, cross-legged, flipping through a magazine, unruly white strands of hair falling into his eyes and he shook them away impatiently. When he sensed his approach he looked up, large red eyes meeting startled blue ones.

"Good morning," the young man said cheerfully, a long striped tail flicking.

Tail?

"Who are you?"

"Oh, not you, too. It's me, Byakko."

Byakko, the Protector of the West, the wind god, one of the four Gods, and Tsuzuki's first shikigami. And usually he looked quite... different.

"What...? You're... a tiger!" he blurted.

"Ah, yes, that." Byakko shrugged, smiling cheerfully. "That's my fighting form, so to speak. I have this one as my normal one. I guess no one ever mentioned it."

Tatsumi swallowed, shaking his head. He wondered why he had never heard about shikigami having human forms. Then again, why would he ever inquire? He had no shikigami partner and he had never wanted to have one.

"And since Tsuzuki decided to have the two of you stay in his place in Meifu, it was even easier. Beats explaining a white tiger in your apartment to your landlords." Another grin.

He was still in Meifu?

All shinigami had a place in Meifu, as well as a rented apartment in the world of the living, and Tsuzuki preferred the latter to the prior. So why keep him here in Meifu?

"Why?" he managed.

"Tsuzuki asked me to stay with you, in case you're wondering why I'm here. He should be back some time today."

Tsuzuki had left his shikigami here to baby-sit him?

The absurdity was only topped by the utter shock of it. Tatsumi stumbled into a chair and shook his head.

"Where is he?" he asked.

"Investigating, if I understood him correctly."

A frown.

"Your case," Byakko added.

Before Tatsumi could say something, the door opened and the topic of their conversation walked in. Black coat hiding a slender figure, dressed all in dark, Tsuzuki looked every bit as regal as he was threatening. And tired, Tatsumi noted. Considering it was broad daylight outside and they must have arrived here after office hours yesterday, Tsuzuki had worked through the night.

"Hey, Tatsumi. You're awake! Good."

Tsuzuki walked over to Byakko, falling on the couch beside him, and - Tatsumi's jaw almost hit the floor - the shikigami wrapped his arms around his master in a brief hug.

"Are you up to some questions?"

Tatsumi looked at his colleague, his friend of such a long time, and he wondered if he was up to anything. It felt like a very bad dream, a nightmare, and he desperately wanted to wake up.

"Where's 'Ta... Watari?"

"With Hisoka," was the curt answer. "Now, I need to know some things, and only you can tell me."

Tsuzuki was still leaning unconsciously against the shikigami, who didn't seem to be interested in anything but his master. But the red eyes were still on Tatsumi and the shinigami was quite aware of how attentive the wind god was at the moment.

"I need to talk to Konoe..." Tatsumi murmured, trying to stall any questions that would drag him back into the horrible events of yesterday... events he couldn't even remember!

"I did that already." At his startled look, Tsuzuki smiled a little. "We need his cover. No one else knows but us and him. We need him to explain our absence and the state of the lab. He's best suited for it."

If Konoe knew, Enma-Daiou knew. And Tatsumi knew there was little the Lord of Hades didn't know anyway. The repercussions... Oh Gods... Resigning wouldn't be the last step, only the first in his punishment.

"Tatsumi!"

He jolted out of his downward spiral and blinked, looking right into a pair of intense, violet eyes.

"Seii, I need to get some answers. We're on a time limit here. Will you help me?"

He nodded mutely.

Tsuzuki leaned forward, smiling calmly, infusing the same calm into his friend. It was one of those transformations that, when witnessed, always took Tatsumi's breath away. Tsuzuki harbored such different character traits and they all made up a man as complicated as all the riddles in the world. A puzzle with a million pieces that shattered into a million more whenever you came too close to the truth.

"Okay, now..."

And the questioning started.

'What did you do yesterday? Tell me in detail.'

'What did you eat?'

'What did you drink?'

'Where did you go?'

'Have you changed anything in your life lately? Food, drink, shampoo? Anything?'

'Has this ever happened before?'

Here Tatsumi faltered. Yes, it had happened before, but not like this. Not so... violently. But he told Tsuzuki and he noticed the thoughtful frown deepen.

'Go back to that day it happened the first time. What did you do that day?'

And the questions went on. It was exhausting, painful, and so very, very private. But here sat a man who knew him better than most. Here was a man who understood the pain and the past and the agony of dark memories. And somehow Tatsumi kept it all together despite the nightmarish events. Somehow...

But he couldn't remember anything of the actual act. He might never be able to recall it and maybe it was better this way.

In the end Tsuzuki sat in thoughtful, absorbed silence, tapping a finger to his lips, eyes distant. Byakko had been silent throughout the interrogation, but his keen eyes were on the two shinigami. Finally Tsuzuki rose.

"Byakko, could you stay here a bit longer? I know I'm asking a lot, but..."

Byakko smiled softly. "I don't mind. You know I serve you."

Tsuzuki's features softened a little and he leaned into the shikigami's embrace. "Thank you. I'll be back soon."

"Tsuzuki...?" Tatsumi started, confused. "Where are you going?"

"I need to check on a few things, talk to Hisoka and such." He gave the older man a cheerful smile. "You two have fun."

And with that he was out the door.

Tatsumi was left with an energetic young man, a shikigami God, and nothing much else. Red eyes regarded him curiously.

"Do you like soaps?" Byakko finally asked, eyeing the remote control and then the TV.

Tatsumi almost laughed out loud, but not in humor. It was just the sheer absurdity of it all.

° ° °

Hisoka had left Watari at his place, under the guard of 003, and gone to meet his partner in Meifu again. Watari was still in considerable shock, but there was a clarity to his voice and his eyes that told the young shinigami that Watari would pull through. It would take time and the real shock would still come and hit him badly, but right now he could leave him alone.

As Tsuzuki had done with Tatsumi, Hisoka had asked Watari all kinds of detailed questions, making himself a better picture of what had happened. Now he just had to talk with his partner to see if some of this made sense in context with what Tatsumi had remembered.

The Shokan Division was busy as always and Hisoka walked past colleagues and other employees, ignoring them as was his custom when he was preoccupied. No one gave a second thought about it and he arrived at the lab without incident. The door was closed, there was a warning label pasted directly over it proclaiming there had been an accident and that the lab was temporarily closed, and the lights were turned down.

Hisoka entered without hesitation and looked around the ruined laboratory. Tsuzuki was already there, a silent, statue-like figure in black, dominating a desolate room. His face set in unnaturally serious angles and lines, the bright, violet eyes distant, he looked like a piece of art, forgotten in the ruins of a former museum. Powerful, magnetic, drawing everyone in.

Hisoka shook himself. Now was no the time to enjoy the view. He could do that later. His job and his private life were strictly separated and he barely allowed himself to acknowledge his relationship with his partner throughout office hours.

"There was no demon here," he broke the silence.

The dark head moved and those fascinating eyes fell on him. Tsuzuki smiled a little. "I had hoped not. Actually, I couldn't figure any demon who would only come out twice and be dormant for the rest of the time."

Hisoka shrugged. "He might have been called by sexual power."

He had spent an hour in this room, casting his powers, trying to find even the most miniscule particle of demonic influence, but there had been nothing. Only the strong presence of Watari, the milder one of Tatsumi, and the faint traces of everyone else who had come visit.

As for Tatsumi, there had been no malevolence. Just like the moment they had come into the lab, after Tatsumi's call for help, he had felt nothing evil. Only the despair, the confusion, the fear... and the terror that stemmed from the realization of what had happened.

"If that would be the case," Tsuzuki now said, "he would have come out between the first and the last time. Tatsumi told me that they had sex after the first time and he never experienced a black-out. No, something about those two times was special."

Hisoka walked around the room, hearing the glass and debris crunch under his shoes.

"Did you interview Watari?" Tsuzuki asked.

He nodded and related to his partner everything the shocked blond had told him. Tsuzuki listened silently, thoughtfully, eyes straying to the crushed and shattered furniture.

"Something set him off," he murmured. "Something..."

"Medical condition?"

A short smile. "Doubtful. Shinigami aren't human, Hisoka. Our prior medical conditions are gone and we don't get new ones."

Except... Hisoka thought and shuddered. "Curses," he murmured.

That stopped Tsuzuki up short and his eyebrows dipped into a V. "You think someone put a curse on him without his knowledge?"

He shrugged.

"Doubtful," Tsuzuki continued. "Curses don't work at random. And this seems random, unless we find a common base."

He raised a finger and started to count off what they knew.

"The setting was the lab, both times. The trigger was different. The first time Tatsumi only assumed control and sex happened. The second time he did the same, but Watari refused, triggering the violent reaction that also let him lose control over his shadows in the process. Both times it was throughout work hours. Both times no words were exchanged from Tatsumi's side. Both times he looked... distant, as if not himself. Influenced. Both times he was back to his old self after the act."

"So it was a brief moment of insanity," Hisoka murmured. "A brief black-out."

Tsuzuki stuffed his hands into his pockets, not pleased. "We're missing something."

"Both times..." Hisoka mused thoughtfully.

"They didn't eat together on those days," Tsuzuki went on, still thinking out loud. "They were in different rooms, in different wings of the building. Watari had no lab accidents, there was nothing in the air, and I doubt Tatsumi is allergic to cherries all of a sudden. One time Watari had just cleaned the lab, the other he was doing research."

Both times...

Hisoka's eyes widened. "Tea!"

"Come again?"

"There was something that happened both times! Watari's tea!"

Tsuzuki looked a bit perplexed. "What about it?"

"Watari told me he had found all kinds of things while cleaning up, some of the boxes containing tea and instant coffee. He made himself one of the teas, but Tatsumi drank the whole cup. He liked it so much, Watari made it again and took it to him – on that day it happened again!"

The older shinigami stood rooted to the spot, mind clearly racing, remembering what Touda had said and what he himself had wanted to investigate. "The tea..." he murmured. "Something in the tea?"

"Tatsumi had the tea before he had his black outs."

Tsuzuki looked around the lab again, then grabbed an overturned cardboard box and began to collect assorted boxes and containers strewn all over the place.

"What are you doing?" Hisoka wanted to know.

"Looking for tea boxes. Whatever could contain tea leaves, we're taking it with us. I want Watari to identify the box the stuff was in. Then we test it."

Hisoka nodded briskly. Good idea.

He set to work.

tbc...