Alone at home, Tatsumi spent a lot of that time reading. Like right now. He had curled up, pillows stuffed under his head, the bedside lamp turned on, and he was reading.
Work papers.
Reports.
Budget figures.
Watari would have a conniption, he mused to himself.
Tatsumi blinked at the little plopping sound that indicated someone had arrived in his apartment via teleportation. Since each of their apartments was shielded against unauthorized entry it could only be one person- and that appearance seemed highly unlikely to the Shadow Master. And yet here he was, in his bedroom...
"Watari? What...?" he stuttered.
"It was so cold at home," Watari simply replied as he lifted the blanket and slid underneath, cuddling against him.
"Taka? What are you doing?"
"Sleeping with you," Watari murmured, already half asleep.
Tatsumi carefully put his glasses onto the nightstand, closing his arms around the slender form of his lover hesitantly. Watari sighed dreamily and snuggled closer, and Tatsumi placed a loving kiss on the blond head before he allowed himself to relish in the feeling of having Watari Yutaka so close again, having him trust him enough to just sleep in his arms.
It was an astonishing feeling.
It was even more astonishing to find Watari still in his arms the next morning when he woke. He watched him sleep, reveling in the sensations that evoked, and he waited for his lover to wake.
When he did, Tatsumi immediately gave him room, but Watari's hand stopped him. He smiled sleepily, hair tousled, and leaned forward for a little kiss.
"Good morning," he whispered.
Tatsumi felt like weeping as he returned the tender contact. "Good morning, 'Taka."
There was nothing else. Shower alone - breakfast, and a good-bye kiss after that. But having Watari there, with him... it had felt like a monumental achievement.
And it was.
° ° °
More days passed by.
Matters in the Shokan Division returned to normal. There were the cases, the reports, budget figures to bitch over, and Tsuzuki.
Especially Tsuzuki.
The other shinigami was watching both Watari and Tatsumi closely, but without crowing either man. He was Watari's best friend, which was his reason to hang around the lab a lot, talk, chat, sometimes have a serious moment or two.
Hisoka was keeping his own watch and when Watari sought him out in a quiet afternoon, asking if he had a moment, the boy knew it was serious.
The talk was, but it wasn't as emotionally heavy as the first one. From then on, Watari and he set up almost regular meetings. Tsuzuki just smiled, watching it all.
Tatsumi had thrown himself into work head first. He needed the distraction and while Konoe never asked for details, Tatsumi knew that his boss knew more than anyone thought or suspected. You didn't get to be chief of the Shokan Division by not knowing what went on around you.
Of course he had known about the attack; of course he had known what the cause had been in the end- reports traveled. But he also seemed to know the deeper emotional effects this had had on two of his men, and like many he watched.
Except for one evening when Tatsumi was still in the office. The sun was already down and almost all were home.
Tatsumi was surprised by the appearance of his boss, a soft knock giving him a second of warning.
"Konoe?" he asked. "What can I do for you?"
"You could give the reports a break and go home," was the mild suggestion as the older man smiled at him.
The tie was off, the first two buttons of the shirt undone. Konoe looked like he was just leaving himself.
"I, ah, sure. In a moment."
"I know it's none of my business and that you two work at your own speed, but don't you think that for a healing to continue, both parties have to be there. And awake enough?"
Tatsumi stared stupidly at him.
Konoe just smiled more. "Go home, Tatsumi. Go home and leave work here. There's too much else you have to do, and you don't need the distraction."
With that he turned and left the dumbstruck man alone.
Tatsumi left twenty minutes later, but he didn't go straight home. He actually ended up in a bar, sipping a beer, contemplating the last few days. Watari had made return visits, just snuggling up to him, the two men falling asleep. There had been shy kisses, a caress, but never anything more. Nothing that would end with a closer encounter.
Watari needed time.
Watari had to make the next step.
Watari had to decide...
It hurt. It hurt a lot to have that familiar body in his arms and not be able to do anything. Tatsumi wanted to run his hand down that slender back, along the spine, feel each vertebrae. He wanted to bury his fingers in the golden strands, that mass of hair, and kiss his lover, taste him, having him flush against his body. He wanted to feel those agile finger touch him, arouse him, soothe him.
But Watari set the speed.
And he would wait.
Tatsumi emptied the beer and slowly walked home, thoughts drifting.
You mean too much to me, Taka, to do anything rash now. We've come so far.
And they had.
And they would go further.
° ° °
"Hey."
Tatsumi looked up, meeting large amber eyes.
Watari stood in the door, holding a small plate with a sweet treat in front of him like an offering to appease an angry deity.
"I rescued this from Tsuzuki. It's really good... Want to try?" he offered.
Tatsumi found himself nodding. "Sure."
The plate was placed onto his desk, careful not to disturb the papers strewn everywhere.
"I...ah... wanted to thank you," Watari stuttered suddenly.
"What for?" Tatsumi bit into the sweet and found himself pleasantly surprised. It tasted like honey.
"The sleep-overs."
Blue eyes met golden ones and the shadow master found himself at a loss for words. He placed the sweet down and licked his sticky lips.
"You're always welcome at my home, 'Taka."
"I know. It's just..." He stopped.
There was an almost palpable tension filling the air between them all of a sudden, a tension that hadn't been there in a long time.
Tatsumi inhaled, suddenly moving, stepping in front of his lover almost hesitantly. Watari's eyes followed his every move, as if locked onto his person, and Tatsumi could see the pulse at his neck flutter.
He longed to kiss that point.
Lifting his hand Tatsumi brushed through the mass of silky strands that was Watari's hair, and he more sensed that actually saw Watari lean into his touch. Combing through the long hair carefully, simply enjoying the closeness Watari allowed him, he had the feeling as if he could remain here for all eternity.
"I always loved your hair, Taka," he whispered gently.
Watari made a soft sound, not really as gasp or even a moan, but encouraging nevertheless. Tatsumi closed his eyes, burying his face in the silky veil, inhaling Watari's scent, the scent he had missed for so long. He had hugged the pillow Watari had used to sleep on but the scent was beginning to fade already.
Gods, how he loved this man. How he missed him.
Opening his eyes slowly, Tatsumi found his lover staring over his shoulder at the wall, his face mirroring his fighting emotions.
"Taka?" he asked, his heart hammering in his chest with fear. Oh, please, don't...
Amber eyes turned to him, and though Watari didn't say a word, Tatsumi understood. And this time his heart did skip a beat.
Bending down slowly, Tatsumi carefully brought their lips together, brushing over his lover's even more gently than their very first kiss had been.
'We're not back to square one,' Watari had said, we're even beyond square one.'
Featherlike, not more than a butterfly's touch, he could feel Watari inhale, and with a deep feeling of sadness be pulled back.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling his heart crack even more.
"Me, too," Watari's voice sounded hoarse.
There was a timeless moment when they both just stood there, staring. Then Watari made a broken sound- and flung his arms around his neck. The Shadow Master stumbled, finding himself with an armful of sobbing scientist, arms closing around the too thin body instinctively.
"Taka!"
"Oh, Seii ... I missed you so much ... "
Tatsumi tightened his embrace, holding his lover even closer as he again buried his face into his hair. Inhaling the beloved scent deeply he could feel his own heart beginning to mend.
"Taka... I love you. Don't leave me..."
He knew he was begging, that it was a plea, but he couldn't care less.
Watari couldn't answer, his body was shaking with sobs too hard. But his arms tightened in an unspoken reply.
And Tatsumi allowed his own tears to finally fall.
Nothing happened that night. Nothing but what all the other nights had occurred anyway. Tatsumi held his partner in his arms, felt his warm presence, and he smiled sleepily.
It was enough.
One step at a time.
And they had all the time in the world.
tbc...
