Food for Thought

Part 3

The lovemaking was, as always, wonderful. Severus moved over him and thrust into him so hard that Remus had to groan. He ran his fingers over Severus' back, tracing little patterned over it. He wanted Severus to be with him so badly that he didn't even mind never being top. He actually enjoyed being dominated by his slender lover when night came around.

Even though he'd never admit it, he was jealous even of Severus. He'd always been thin without even trying. His pelvic bones jutted out delicately and rubbed against Remus' legs as he pushed himself into the other man. Remus loved how the dark haired man's ribs were equally as defined. When he ran his fingers over his back, it was to feel the spine that protruded through his pale skin.

He entangled his hands in the small mans lovely black locks and pulled his head down so that his lips were touching Remus' neck. Severus bit down hard, causing Remus to gasp. He knew it would leave a mark tomorrow, but he didn't care. He just wanted Severus' mouth against his collarbone. He hoped that Severus would feel it and think it was attractive.

When Severus finally came, it was too soon for Remus' liking. He wanted to continue to hold his lover and feel his body against his own. But that was not how Severus worked. Once the deed was done, it was up and into his clothes. Remus watched as Severus got off of him and reached for his robes. After putting his own back on, he tossed Remus' at him.

The blonde caught them and held them against his chest. He lowered his gave, feeling ashamed of how he looked. He'd always assumed Severus wanted him to dress right away was because he couldn't stand the sight of him. Slowly, he pulled his things back on. He watched Severus stretch and open one of his cupboards. The tall man pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses.

He poured a little into each offered one to Remus. The blonde accepted it, being careful not to drink too much. Liquor had far too many calories for his taste, but Severus seemed to be enjoying himself well enough. It bothered Remus that they never seemed to speak much after they made love, and he wondered if it was because Severus didn't love him. Even if he didn't, Remus hoped that he loved Severus enough for both of them.

The long haired man took a long drink and looked over at Remus who'd barely touched his.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine…" Remus whispered, taking another little sip. That seemed to satisfy Severus who went back to concentrating on his own drink. The smooth taste of what he was drinking could not distract Remus from the burning feeling it gave him. Alcohol on an empty stomach was no good and he knew this. He drank it anyway.

Once Severus was done with his drink, he rose to his feet. He put the glass on the table and walked back to where Remus was sitting on the bed. For a moment, Remus thought he was going to make love to him again. His high hopes died when Severus pushed his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead.

"I should be going," he murmured.

Remus nodded, not wanting to make a scene tonight. After all, everything had been so perfect, what was the point in ruining it? Severus withdrew his hand and started walking away. He turned slightly to look at Remus.

He narrowed his eyes and spoke again. "You're looking rather peckish. Are you getting enough sleep?"

"Oh, yes. Of course I am, Severus."

"Hmm…Well, you don't look well. I might have to stop my visits until your health improves…"

"No! I'm fine, I swear," the wolf said, trying to smile at his lover.

Severus didn't look convinced, but he nodded anyway. "Anyway, I'll bring you your potion tomorrow morning again. And do try to eat something, it's not good unless it can be digested with food. Besides, you're looking a little thin," Severus said, straightening his robes.

Remus felt his heart fill. He was looking thin? Had Severus really just said that? Feeling rather pleased with himself, he vowed not to eat at all again tomorrow. At least that way his throat wouldn't hurt so badly.

"Alright, Severus. I will."

"Good. Well, I'll see you at breakfast then," the long haired potions master said as he opened the door.

"Goodnight, Severus. I love you," Remus murmured as Severus stepped out. The other man paused for a moment and turned back to him.

"Goodnight, Lupin."

With that, the door closed, leaving Remus completely alone. The blonde sighed and wiggled out of his bed. He wished Severus would at least pretend to love him, even if he didn't mean it. Maybe if he was just a little thinner….

He took out his wand and held it at staff length in his hands. He muttered a little charm and waited. The wand trembled in his hands and told him he was 5'11", 140lbs and a BMI of 19.5. He sighed, unhappily. He was still overweight. If he was at least 130 pounds he might be more attractive to Severus. He'd just have to try harder then. Feeling determined, he put his wand down and shed his robes again. He never did understand why Severus handed him back his robes. It wasn't like he would be going anywhere and he preferred to sleep without all the extra clothing. Usually, he just slept in a tee-shirt and boxers. Again, he thought it was because he was ugly.

Unhappily, he crawled back into bed and pulled his blankets close. He blew out his candle and closed his eyes, stomach growling at him.