Chapter 9

Hammy had been trudging along for many days, slash hours. He missed Patrick. Bless 'im. He felt cheated by the others that he wasn't meant to have a big part in the sequel, so this author gave him a biggish part anyway. After all, it's not as though any of these other chapters are very realistic.

So, after wondering why Bob still wasn't dead, he heard a noise in the bushes ahead.

"Why are there ALWAYS noises in the bushes!!!!"

"Oh shut up, where else can I have you meet things." Lucie the author said, dressed as Alan.

"Fine, fine...though why can't I meet them whilst walking or something."

"YOU ARE WALKING!!!!"

"Piss off."

"Humph." And off she went back to typing at 7:00 in the morning. YAWN!!!!

SO there was a rustle in the bushes right...RIGHT???? and out of them stumbled...

"Annoying Kid!!!!"

It was Lex, in much pain, and holding her arm, covered in blood.

"Grandpa...please help..." she collapsed at his feet.

He looked at her body for a few seconds, then decided everyone thought she was dead already, so what could he possibly do????

No, I'm asking you, what could he possibly do???? He has no medical training whatsoever, he's preoccupied with finding his lover, and is high on the ol' crack.

Interesting.

So to make her passing easier, he stamped on her foot and broke it.

Told you he had no medical training.