Summary: Severus POV
Disclaimer: I do not own HP or anything else related to it.
A/N: Yes I know this is not canon, these are my own personal views etc. Any reviews are welcome. (one shot)
Severus Snape was not a man anyone knew anything about. On the outside he appeared to be menacing, a figure who was not easily approached. On the inside however was a complex man. One full of intrigue, cunning that could match any foe, and a heart although cold at times, that was as large as his sneering smile.
Had had watched the first years walking timidly into the potion lab year after year, and he marveled at how little they knew or cared about the art of potion making. It was not auror training, but did they not know how he saved lives with medicines he created, sent his enemies into thrashing pain with one dose, and brought life back into those thought dead.
Severus had his own inner demons that he fought each day. Ones that kept reminding him of a choice long ago that he made. He had willingly went along with his family and joined Voldemort. He had groveled at this man's feet, kissing his robes and killing at his whim. What had Severus got in return for all of his sacrifices, nothing but the pain of Crucio, the laughter of his so called master as he watched Severus recoil in pain.
This had sent Severus, the night that Lily and James were targeted to Dumbledore, begging his forgiveness, anything to save the only woman he had ever loved. He had crawled into the same school he had attended as a child, this time thinking it would be the last time he ever set eyes upon it again. He knew Azkaban waited for people like him, traitors of the side of light. He had killed innocent people merely because they had the wrong ancestors, or they refused to join the dark lord. He stood in Dumbledore's office and pleaded for his life and expected nothing less than a life imprisonment. When he felt the gentle hand upon his head he knew that he was not beyond redemption.
He had tried to serve the cause of good since that day by spying for them, whispering naught but lies into the vile creature Voldemort. Now here he stood watching another group of first years. He was used to their terrified faces but his ears perked up as the name Harry Potter was called. Was this the proclaimed savior of the wizarding world, for all Severus saw when he peered over at him was a scrawny child resembling James, his most hated enemy.
He watched intently as the sorting hat was placed upon his head, and then sneered as it called out Gryffindor. There had been the small chance that the child could have been his as he had spent the one night with her. That now was his only fond memory of his beloved, for when she had found out his secret she had taken Harry and wed that bastard James. It was like a slap in the face. For years Severus had wondered, but his thoughts were calmed the moment the hat yelled Gryffindor. Surely no child of his could be placed anywhere but Slytherin.
First year potions was Severus' playground. He could make them tremble with a word, bring tears with one roar of stupidty, and he enjoyed it all. Had he not suffered for each one of the muggle born and half bloods? Had he not endured pain from his master's hands when one of his lies had not held true? All this he poured into his malice for them in his class. Now staring at Harry Potter he saw another outlet for his cruelty. He had embarrased the boy no less than four times already and yet the boy did not turn his eyes aside when he looked at him. Now that Severus looked at him he could see something, no someone. It was not the eleven year old boy looking at him, those were Lily's eyes looking at him. Those emerald orbs that belonged to her, were now staring at him, questioning his actions.
Had Severus not done everything within reason for the cause of good for the last twelve years? Had he not paid his debt to society? Why must he be now tortured with the memory of Lily each day? With a flick of his hand he sent them from his class each day, avoiding eye contact when he could. It was almost a shame that the Granger girl had befriended the Potter boy for she was the most promising student he had seen in many years.
Quidditch a game Severus had loved and wanted to play often, but his father had scorned it and had only let him play to brag to his friends. Severus had thought he was good, but of course James Potter had stolen any and all spotlight from him each time they played. Severus would have quit that very day had Lily not presuaded him to continue. She had told him he should play for the love of the game, and not for the scores or cheers. He had taken her advice and had loved each game, the air whizzing past his face, the feel of the broom in his grasp. Up in the air he was not Snivellus, he was free from all of the torment of his family and friends.
Had Severus saw Potter's broom lurch? When he glanced again he saw it had indeed and Severus tried to look away, tried to ignore the little voice in his head, but he couldn't. He would have protected Lily to the death, and he knew in his heart he would protect her son. Once the boy's broom righted itself Severus let out a sigh. He had been distracted as his robe had mysteriously caught on fire and he had feared his momentary lapse would cause the boy to fall, but he did not.
Severus Snape was a true mysery indeed. Whether he knew the boy was his own or merely a dream of his, he would protect him while he was at Hogwarts. He had made this solemn vow to himself and to his Lily. People only saw the calculating bastard he portrayed on the outside, and never saw the goodness that dwelled deep inside his heart. Yes, Severus Snape was truly an enigma, a puzzle not to be solved by the average person. He would reveal himself one day, to someone special but that was not today. Today he could go back to his room and relax in the fact that he was good at heart.
