dont own, and never will, YYH

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Chapt. 38

Summer Tears

"Order up!" Frank calls. I look up and see him juggling steaming plates as he totters over to each of us. "Ohh!" he grins as he starts to fall over. I stand to rush to him, but Hiei beats me to it. Wait, Hiei? "Why thank you, sir."

Hiei says nothing, but takes a few of the steaming, tottering plates from the old man. He carefully holds them out for each person to takes his or her own meal. Everyone stayed in their place, shocked by Hiei's behavior. Yukina quietly rose from her seat. Fearlessly, she strode lightly to her secret brother. She smiled so sweetly at him as she took her food from his forearm. The rest stand and grab their respectable plates.

"Here's the surprise you ordered," Frank whispers in my ear, placing a bowl beside my plate.

"Huh…oh, thank you," I smile. He bows lightly and wanders back to the chattering group. Still smiling, I stand up quietly and grab the cold bowl of frozen-snow. Still not sure what flavor, if any, it was. I silently stand behind Hiei.

"What do you want," he growls after a few minutes, not looking at me.

"This is for you," I say quietly.

He turns around in his seat and stares up at me. I lower the bowl so that he could see in.

"Uh…thanks?" he mutters, taking the bowl from me. "But why?"

"You looked hungry." I smile and walk back to my food. When I finish, I look over to where Hiei was sitting. Thing is, he wasn't there, but his bowl was. I walk over to the table and see the bowl is empty.

He must have gone back to the room without us. Should I go check on him? I look about the room. Everyone was smiling, even Frank, and laughter filled the air. I'll just leave the money and go. No one will miss me. Quickly, I place the money on the counter and slip out the door unnoticed.

The air is brisk and brings the scent of autumn. A cool breeze rolls by and the autumn smell strengthens. But it brings another scent, a familiar scent. I sniff again and the smell floods my nose. Hiei.

"Hiei, why'd ya leave?" I ask, seemingly to no one.

"Too noisy," the harsh voice of Hiei says from above.

"Makes sense," I chuckle, looking up at a tall tree.

"What're you doing out here?" he questions.

"Seeing what you're doin' out here," I answer truthfully. Hiei stands beside me in a flash of black.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like it when people care about me."

"Then that's why."

He gives me a puzzled look.

"I came out here to see how you were because I am the only one who doesn't care if you don't like it. Well, the only besides Yukina."

"Why do you always bring her up!" he growls.

"Because she deserves to know."

"Stop getting in my life!"

"Ha! You admit to it then! Yukina is your life!"

"I never said that."

"Yes you did! You said—"

"I know what I said!" he interrupts. "Just…leave me alone!" Hiei speeds away.

"Hiei!" I call. Waiting for a response and receiving none, I chase after him. I end up in the hotel room. Hiei's pacing across the room, staring blankly.

"Why can't you just tell her?!" I shout.

He completely ignores my outburst and continues pacing across the room. Back and forth, back and forth. He was like a wind-up toy that couldn't make up its mind about where it wanted to go.

"Will you just stop and look at me for a second?"

He stops, looks at me, and then continues pacing.

"She deserves to know. For years she's been looking for a brother she's beginning to doubt even exists. And for those same years, you've been watching out for her secretly. Why can't she know?"

He stops at the window and sighs. Staring out onto the street, he makes no attempt to speak.

"If you won't, I will!" I stomp towards the door, but am stopped by a sharp, cold metal at my throat.

"You will do no such thing," Hiei snarls.

"Why not?"

He moves the sword away, sheathes it, and walks back to the window.

"Why do you have to be so scared all the time? She won't think any less of you."

"If I were to ask you that same question, how would you answer it?" he asks, turning to face me.

"This isn't about me."

"Why not?! Why does it have to be about me all the time? You keep secrets too, and nobody asks you to share them."

"Your secret's out. You can't kill everybody who knows."

"Yea, and why's that?"

"Because you'd never hurt them like that. They're the only family you have now. But you won't even tell your sister that."

"I don't have to! It's my life and she's my sister, and nobody can tell me what to do with them!"

"I'm not trying to! I'm trying to help you make the right decision. One day you'll die, and she'll find out that she'd know who her brother was all along. Only thing is, you'll be dead. Then she'll wonder why you never told her. If you're so afraid of that, then why won't you tell her?"

"Because I'm not afraid! I've never been afraid in my life!"

"That's the biggest lie you've told me yet. You're so afraid, you can't even admit it." I walk over to him. He continues to stare at the street, pretending I'm not there.

"I am scared, Darkfire," he finally whispers. "But no one can know. I have to be strong; no one can see, or know, my weakness." His body starts to shake violently. "Why can't I take the pain you can?"

"You've taken the pain for too long." I hesitate. How I longed to comfort him. To wrap my arms around him and hug the pain away. I wanted to pull him to me and never let go.

He shakes again and draws a sharp breath. Soft thudding sounds. It was almost as simultaneously as tears falling. Tears that made sound when they hit carpet; could it be? Was Hiei crying?

"I just wanted to be the strongest I could be," Hiei chokes out. He turns to look at me. "But look at me, I, Hiei the Forbidden Child, am crying."

"Power isn't the only thing that gives one strength. Sometimes the pain we show," – I wipe a tear from his eye – "strengthens us the most."

He looks at the floor to hide his red, tear-stained face.

"I won't tell her, but you should." I walk from the small bedroom and close the door behind me. Stiffly, I slide to the right to lean on the wall. Sighing heavily, I slide to the floor. I take another deep breath.

The hallway door flies open and a shadowed figure stands in the frame.