dont own YYH
thank you to all that review!your wordsare much appretiated!
Chapt. 47
Reasons to Wake
I never thought I'd ever say this, but I actually like it when I'm trapped in a place of nothingness. The silence eases my mind and calms my soul. I can think and not be disturbed; I can sleep and not be woken; I can cry and not be seen. To do anything I want and have nobody around to tell me not to, that is why I love to be trapped.
But there is nobody there. No one I can talk to, no one I can see. A loneliness that bites at me and slowly tears me apart. I can't walk freely; I am confined to one mind: my own. Only I can rescue myself from me, but sometimes I can't. To be alone and have no one to help, that is why I hate being trapped.
"Darkfire," someone whispers. It seemed so far away from me, like they were talking through a wall. "Please open your eyes." He was kind as he spoke.
Water dripped on my face.
"Get up, you fool! Do you think we enjoy watching you sweat like this?!" another man cries out to me. His voice was an angry sadness. "Let me go! Don't tell me to be quiet; I'll scream all I like!"
A door shuts and locks.
"He just misses you. That wolf really must've taken its toll on you. Hiei needs you now more than ever, Darkfire. He won't leave this room unless we force him out; and even then, he just stands by the door. He won't even eat if I don't bring him something. Of course, I have to force it into his mouth, but that's another story. He's so stubborn."
There was a long pause. I heard many choked sobs and the blowing of a nose. I always made people sad or angry when I fainted for long periods of time. I made this person cry as if I was dead, but he knew I wasn't. A longing gripped me, desperately wanting to dry his tears. I wanted to see.
A constant pounding erupted suddenly.
"It seems Hiei has lost all patience for you," the soft voice whispers. I could almost hear him smiling. "I suppose I should let him get it out of his system so he might sleep tonight."
A lock clicks open and the pounding stops. A door shuts again.
"I should kill you right now, you know that? You have to wake up so you can eat, see the sunshine, celebrate for your stupid victory, and smile again. You've been asleep for too long!" he shouts.
I wanted to ask him how long, but my voice would not speak it.
I began to shake violently all of the sudden. Something was clamping and squeezing my arms, shaking me back and forth.
"Wake up, please! Yukina cries every night because she thinks it's her fault you're like this. She thinks it's because you saved her, you pay with your life. You gotta wake up and prove her wrong! Kuwabara can't even make her smile any more…"
Familiar warmth envelopes me, an unforgettable scent fills me, and an incomparable feeling touches my heart again. I knew who it was, for the sad man told me his name, but I could not recall him. But how I wanted to remember the man who made me feel this way.
"You have to wake up, you must," he whispers. "Kurama says you may never wake up, but he prays you will. Yusuke can't even look at you without tearing up. Botan and Keiko do all they can to keep Yukina together. Shizuru cries silently when she thinks no one is watching, but she would never tell any one that. Genkai tries to help Kurama, but to no avail. Wake up, please, Darkfire."
I wanted to ask him about Kuwabara, but, again, my voice would not work.
"And…Kuwabara…" he begins to choke out, "Kuwabara holds you as though you were his own flesh and blood, like you were his younger sister. He never cries and he never looks forlorn. He says he knows you'll wake up when you're ready. Well, Darkfire, when are you going to be ready?"
The warmth becomes stronger as I feel myself being pressed against something. It was a familiar something, something I had been pressed to before. The object was hard like rock, but soft like…satin.
"No one knows where Osadyro went."
Osadyro?! I have to find her! She always does stupid things when I'm not with her. Her vampire needs could be going nuts right now, and I can't help her. I have to wake up!
My heart begins to race. I struggle violently to open my eyes, to speak, to do something, but my body wouldn't work right. I longed to cry out, but I still couldn't. My breathing quickens and my sweat runs cold. I had to wake up. I had to open my eyes to the world. I had to save someone who really needed saving.
"Darkfire, calm down! You'll kill yourself!" the man cries out.
No! I need to wake up!
"Darkfire, please! You can't die on us! You can't die on me!"
Not die, just wake up. Please, just help me wake up!
"Please…just breathe!" he shouts. A sharp, quick sting hits me across the face, like a smack. "I'm sorry, but you must calm down."
My heart slowed, my breathing became normal, and I stopped shaking. This man had hit me. And because of that offense, I remembered his name.
"Hiei," I gasp, my voice finally working, "you bastard."
"Guilty as charged," he says, a slight laugh in his tone. But then he became serious. "What happened just there?"
I slowly open my eyes and meet concerned pools of blood.
"I have to find her. I have to find Osadyro," I whisper.
