Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount. kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! I wrote this story, which was my very first ever Voyager fanfic, in August, 2000. It was not beta'd. This story contains a relationship between two women, so if that offends you, please read something else.

Code: T/7.
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: PG-13


Ghosts, Chapter 6


Neelix was in Sickbay for almost a full day before he regained consciousness. Janeway had laid in a pursuit course for the Ssckerellon ship in hopes of reacquiring Naomi by using a plan that Seven of Nine had devised. Seven of Nine fell into a depressed pattern of regenerate, track the alien ship and back again. She skipped meals and B'Elanna began worrying about her. She was finally concerned enough to ask, but Seven merely stated:

"We have to find Naomi," and hurried away from the other woman. As thoughts of miscalculations and imperfection plagued the ex-drone's mind, she avoided B'Elanna out of self-loathing. For how could B'Elanna like her when she hated herself so much at that moment? But B'Elanna's heart merely became more firmly attached to Seven as her concern for the ex-borg grew.

What none of them dared express, not even in thought, was the fear that there was no point in rescuing Naomi Wildman. Not Sam Wildman, not Seven, B'Elanna or Kathryn Janeway. No one would even think the words 'Naomi might be dead.'

Even though they had no idea...


Naomi woke with a splitting headache. She rubbed her eyes and began looking around. She had to squint to see very well in the darkness and she felt around her for more clarity. She was in a cage about the size of her bedroom on Voyager. It had a wire mesh closing it off and it reminded her of the bug boxes Mr. Neelix used to contain the insects he used to help pollinate the hydroponics bay.

Thinking of bugs reminded her of why she was here. The bug people had taken her and hurt Mr. Neelix. She began to cry softly as she remembered her friend and baby-sitter hitting the wall. Her own pain didn't seem to matter as much as she wondered if Neelix was okay now or if no one found him and...

She covered her face in her hands and rubbed her pinky over the small bumps she felt as tears wetted her hands, making them cold. She lowered her hands to her lap and leaned her face against the cold, biting wire links. She thought about her mom and Seven and the captain and wondered if Voyager was still there, looking for her or giving her up for lost.

She remembered that first time she had strode into captain Janeway's office with her plan for finding Seven of Nine. It had been a good plan, but the captain already had a better one. Seven had come back to the ship and Naomi had no doubt that she would as well. She wondered if Seven had devised a plan, as she had, of rescuing her this time.

She imagined it would be a great plan, one that made all the bug people regret hurting her and her friends. She allowed a small smile to tug at her lips as she imagined everyone throwing a party in the Mess Hall, for her return safe from the bug people and how everyone would smile and hug her and lift her up, telling her how much they missed her, even Seven.

'No,' her mind thought. Seven would walk up to her, hands clasped behind her back and say 'Welcome back, Naomi Wildman.' Naomi grinned as she pictured it. Then Seven would lean down and say quietly, 'I missed you.' Naomi allowed these thoughts to comfort her as she sat alone: a little girl in a cold, dark cage.


Seven took the sonic spanner from its place on the deck next to the crouched form of B'Elanna Torres. They were working on the deflector coil, reconfiguring what they could from inside Voyager as an engineering team worked outside on the dish. They were configuring the deflector to be able to emit a wide pulse beam that would disrupt the Ssckerellon shields long enough for Voyager to destroy their shield generator.

Seven didn't feel that there was time for niceties.

B'Elanna had begun growing steadily more irritated at the blonde ex-borg all morning. Twice she had snapped at her about taking tools without asking, only to get a cold response from the other woman and more missing tools. She understood why Seven was so temperamental, but she was getting sick of trying to placate her. It seemed that suddenly, she couldn't do anything right. She misaligned three gel packs and two critical circuit pathways by 'point-oh-three-five,' according to Seven, by seemingly just looking at them wrong.

B'Elanna was sick of her attitude. The next time she was blamed for something she didn't do...

"Correct for my adjustments, Lieutenant, instead of daydreaming." B'Elanna looked at Seven in disbelief. Seven looked at the half-Klingon, whose mouth was agape and inwardly sighed in exasperation. She walked over to where Torres was working and pushed her aside. The next thing she knew, she was laying on the deck, her nose throbbing and a warm tickle running down her cheek.

Suddenly, all the emotion that Seven was coldly shoving down inside herself came boiling to the surface. She stood and confronted a startled chief engineer. "Seven, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

"Irrelevant!" Seven rushed B'Elanna, who stood dumbfounded until the former drone swung at her. Not one to be taken off guard, B'Elanna blocked it and swung her right arm in towards Seven's abdomen. Seven anticipated this and grabbed B'Elanna's arm, twisting it in a motion meant to break it. Rather than let her arm be broken, B'Elanna rolled into the other woman, bringing them both to the floor.

Seven kicked B'Elanna away from her and stood up. "I don't want to fight you, Seven!" B'Elanna had never been confronted by a rage worse than her own before and was beginning to worry that someone might get seriously hurt here. She wished that they hadn't been working alone today, so that somebody would know what was happening.

Seven didn't seem to hear B'Elanna and in fact charged her again, howling her rage like the fiercest Klingon in the heat of battle. B'Elanna blocked a lot of what was flying at her, but Seven was just faster and stronger. Finally, a blow landed against B'Elanna's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of her and taking her to her knees. Seven brought both her fists together and was about to land a final attack when she looked at her target.

B'Elanna was on her knees, one arm up to protect herself from the blow Seven was preparing to deliver. One eye was beginning to swell and blood ran in a trickle from her lips. Seven's entire body went cold and tears ran from her eyes, both organic and not. She hiccuped and fell down on her knees in front of B'Elanna whispering, "What have I done?"

B'Elanna watched Seven drop, completely filled with confusion and just a little fear. But all of that disappeared when she heard the first choked sob issue from the slender throat of her opponent, her friend. Seven cried helplessly, hopelessly, sounding lost and broken. B'Elanna clutched her to her tightly, pulling the ex-drone into her lap. Seven wrapped her arms around B'Elanna's waist, crying against her breast. B'Elanna bounced Seven higher, like a child, so that she was completely resting in her lap, curled in a ball, draining herself.

"You are not to blame, Lieutenant." Seven choked out. "I am the one who is imperfect. I am flawed and ca-c-cannot," sobs stopped her words. "It is futile, I cannot be perfect, no matter how hard I-I try. I make one mistake after another, and now I have, have l-lost m-my f-f..."

"Shh..." B'Elanna soothed, stroking Seven's disheveled hair." It'll be okay. We'll find Naomi. It wasn't your fault we lost her, Seven. No one could have known that they would attack an entire ship just to steal one little girl."

"I miscalculated, I should have seen the transport immediately. I was preoccupied with breaking through their defenses, I-I..."

"Seven!" B'Elanna rocked gently. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that no one's perfect?" Seven's eyes grew big and she looked at B'Elanna like she had just said that there was no tooth fairy.

"I should be perfect." B'Elanna hugged Seven tightly.

"No. No one can be perfect, it isn't possible. After all, look at me. No one will ever call me perfect."

"But you do not strive for perfection. You are satisfied with being flawed." Seven felt herself being calmed by the rocking and stroking.

"Gee, thanks. Make a girl feel special, why don't you." B'Elanna growled with a laugh. Seven's big eyes looked innocently up at B'Elanna.

"But you are special." She quickly looked away. "You are special to me." B'Elanna's hearts began racing at Seven's words. How she wanted to speak them back to her! But B'Elanna cowered from her feelings, hating herself for it, but not finding the courage that Seven displayed with those few words. "Do you hate me?" Seven asked quietly.

"No! Why would you even ask a thing like that?" B'Elanna looked incredulously at Seven, who shrunk back.

"Because I am imperfect."

"Seven, what did I just say?"

"That no one is perfect. Yet, still, you show no feelings toward me other than friendship, despite what happened in the cargo bay a few months ago. You are no longer involved with Lieutenant Paris, yet you still have not spoken to me of what happened. Are you ashamed of what you did? Or is it me? Do you dislike me? Am I unattractive now? Why do you not feel for me that which I feel for you?" Seven looked at B'Elanna for answers, for a reason not to hate herself, for... love.

B'Elanna buried her head in Seven's hair, unable to stop herself from breathing deeply of the sweet aroma contained therein. Her pulse slammed in her ears and chest and tears burned at her vision for the words that she could not express. "What is it that you feel for me?" B'Elanna flinched from herself, her mind screaming 'Coward! Tell her!'

"I wrote a... poem." Seven said it so quietly that B'Elanna almost didn't hear. "I am not sure what I feel, so one night, I wrote the sensations down. It is not good, the meter is odd and it probably does not make sense—"

"Tell it to me. Please." Seven began trembling in B'Elanna's arms, terrified of rejection. But even more frightening seemed the possibility of B'Elanna reciprocating her feelings, without her ever being aware. So she allowed herself to recite that which had woken her up from regenerating to write. She called up the information from her memory and began sharing her heart.

"I named it, 'All I Know:'

'Cold without you
sick without you
all alone here
help kill my fear
where are you now
hold me somehow

please, I can't, please
please, I can't breathe
I feel hollow
I can't swallow
this pain inside
I fear I've died

help me, please help me

to find your love
to find you, love
I cannot wait
cannot tempt fate

that you'll turn from me

I need your arms
your eyes, your charms
your scent, your skin
how to begin?
It burns, It churns
It yearns, It learns
It becomes me
It comes to me
Please, I love you
Let me feel you
Heart, body, mind, soul
Come make me whole

All I want to breathe is you
All I know or feel is truth
And all the truth breathing through
Is that all I want is you."

Seven sat silent, waiting for B'Elanna's response. B'Elanna clutched Seven's shoulders and hugged her tightly, crying, her shoulders shaking and managed to get her voice to work. "I feel the same. I need you, too, Seven. And please don't call me Lieutenant. My name is B'Elanna." Seven closed her eyes.

To be continued...