Disclaimer: see 1.
3
3
By Random1377
Rei raised her hand and knocked on the apartment door, waiting patiently for the Captain or the Third Child to open it for her. She was not particularly enthusiastic about spending the evening with her coworkers, but she had decided on the train ride over that she should make the best of it.
Always look on the bright side, she told herself as she waited, that is the old expression, correct?
The bright side in this case, she mused, was that she would get something better for dinner than another cup soup – and while she did not terribly mind instant food, it did become tiresome after so many years… which was one more, slightly guilty reason for her to enjoy her infrequent dinners with Commander Ikari.
Ikari's lunches do smell good, she thought, unconsciously straightening her back as the door started to slide open, perhaps-
"Rei!"
Rei grunted as Bella shot out of the apartment and threw herself against her stomach, knocking the wind from her. "Please do not do that," she asked once she had regained her breath.
"Hello, Ayanami."
Rei paused in the process of disentangling herself from the toddler, glancing up to find her class representative studying her closely, her arms folded over her breasts and an assessing expression on her freckled face. "Miss Horaki," Rei returned politely, finally freeing herself of Bella's arms, "good evening."
"You don't have to be so formal," Hikari said lightly, "we're not at school."
Rei simply stared at her, allowing Bella to seize her hand with a very faint frown.
"Well," Hikari sighed, "come on in. Shinji said he should have your dinner done in a few minutes." She looked Rei up and down, tilting her head to the side as she commented, "I never knew you were a vegetarian – is it for medical reasons? I've read that albinos-"
She cut herself off, flushing brightly.
"Umm… sorry…" Hikari murmured, looking awkwardly at the floor, "if I'm not in the classroom, I kinda… kinda ramble."
Rei said nothing, waiting for the other teen to step out of her way… but Bella seemed to find this comment interesting. "Rei… owbino?" she said skeptically, looking from Rei to Hikari and back, "Rei is not owbino – Rei is giro."
The toddler emphasized the word as if Hikari was more than a little slow.
Hikari laughed nervously. "I… I know, honey," she said uneasily, "an albino is a person that has… umm… pale skin and red eyes – like Re-"
"I am not an albino," Rei interjected suddenly, her tone conveying neither anger nor malice. She was simply correcting a mistake – nothing more.
There were far more important things to focus one's attention on, after all.
If Hikari was red before, she was downright crimson now. "R-right," she stammered, stepping out of the way and gesturing Rei into the apartment. "Sorry."
Rei stepped past her, trailing Bella, and headed directly into the kitchen. "Captain," she said calmly, "good evening."
"Oh, hi Rei," Misato waved cheerily, "howareya?"
The First Child's lips pursed slightly as she surveyed the table in front of the older woman, counting no less than seven beer cans. I see, she thought, glancing back up at the woman's wide smile and rosy cheeks.
"Ayanami, hi!"
Rei turned to find Shinji – complete with a spatula and cook's apron – standing in front of the stove. "Good evening," she said for the third time.
"I'm just making some stir-fried vegetables… is that ok?" the boy asked hopefully.
"Yes," Rei replied simply, the enticing smell emanating from the wok hinting that tonight's bright side would definitely be the meal… as the child still attached to her hand was already pulling her towards the living room in an attempt to 'converse' with her.
I can barely understand her, Rei thought, trying to make sense of the hastily babbled sentence the toddler threw her way.
"What did she say?" she asked Misato, completely ignoring the tugging on her hand as she waited for an explanation.
Misato, Rei found, had somehow managed to dispose of most of the cans in the few seconds her attention had been diverted, leaving only the one currently clasped loosely in her palm.
"She wants you to look at her drawings," Shinji offered helpfully when Misato shrugged, "she's been coloring most of the day."
Rei glanced at the clock, then the wok Shinji was stirring, determining that it would be at least a few minutes before she could eat and – by extension – leave. "Very well."
"Go with her, Hikari?" Shinji asked as the First Child let herself be dragged towards the living room. "I think she needs a translator."
"Umm, sure," the class rep said, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.
"Rei, Rei, Rei," Bella burbled happily, leading the First Child into the living room and dropping to the floor, "sit dowen, Rei."
"She wants you to sit down," Hikari offered.
"Yes, I know," Rei returned coolly, her tone oozing patience, "I do not want to."
"R-right…"
Rei heaved a mental sigh. She did not get any particular enjoyment out of the class representative's discomfort, and on some level, she actually understood that the girl was trying to make up for her horrible (and at the same time, justified) faux-pas at the front door by being as helpful as possible.
She just wished that the girl would not try.
"Rei," Bella said happily, holding up a picture of a stick figure with a mess of blue lines on its head and miniscule, off-center red dots for eyes.
"Aww!!" Hikari exclaimed, her discomfort momentarily forgotten in the light of such cuteness. "Look!!"
Rei simply nodded, saying nothing as the girl sifted through the pile of pictures, searching for another to show off. Her health seems to have improved, she observed idly, nodding as another picture was thrust up at her, she seems... fuller, I suppose.
There was definitely a feeling of more presence about the young girl – as if she had been only partially there before, and was now fully realized. Her eyes sparkled with life as she brokenly described each of the pictures contents, pushing Rei's class representative to heretofore unseen heights of adoring rapture.
"Look!" Hikari practically gushed, "How cute is THAT!?"
Rei nodded once more as Bella rose to her feet and showed her a drawing depicting the blue-haired stick figure holding hands with a smaller, dark-haired stick figure. When the girl simply stood with the picture outstretched, Rei found herself at a loss.
"What do you want?" she asked coolly.
"She's… she's giving it to you," Hikari answered, her smile collapsing as she remembered who was standing next to her. "How can you not think that is cute?" she asked, baffled, "Look – it's you and her."
"I can see that," Rei said quietly, "but I do not have a need for it."
If Bella was offended, she said nothing. She simply stood and waited for her idol to take the drawing.
"Here," Hikari said gently, crouching in front of the girl and slipping the picture out of her hands, "I'll fold it up for Rei and she can have it after dinner, ok? She just… doesn't want to get it dirty."
"Rei wike pictcho?" Bella inquired.
Rei considered her reply for a moment. She had never seen the artwork of a three year old before, so she was not able to fairly compare it to other works in its class. If you are in doubt, she thought suddenly, remembering a lesson the Commander had taught her long ago, be polite – but do not be ingratiating.
"It is nice."
Hikari winced as the girl lunged at Rei, hitting her in the stomach again as she clumsily embraced her, and for the first time since arriving with dinner… it occurred to her to question not only why the girl was starved for the reclusive pilot's attention, but why she was so desperate for it. She knew about the sores on the girl's back, of course, as Shinji had given her a full rundown on her condition when Hikari had arrived, but she wondered suddenly what they might see if the sores were not there. Faded bruises perhaps? Scars? Cigarette burns?
When you get right down to it, Hikari thought as Rei pushed the girl away, no one really knows anything about this girl. The doctor said she had no broken bones… but there are other ways to hurt a child – things that don't show.
This thought was still in her mind when Shinji called out that Rei's dinner was ready, and the blue-haired girl started out of the living room.
She's abusing her right now.
Hikari blushed, unconsciously smoothing her skirt as the harsh accusation burned through her mind. That it felt so right was both proper and unfair – for while it was true that Rei could have been a bit nicer, she was not obligated to. She was certainly not related to the young girl, and she clearly had a lot of things on her mind.
It just eluded Hikari's understanding that anyone could be exposed to such innocence and warmth and just turn it away.
"Hikari… your father's on the phone."
"C-coming!" Hikari called, blinking as she realized she had not even heard the phone ring.
Maybe I'll talk to her about it on Monday, she thought, I'm supposed to be responsible for my class, right? And Ikari and Ayanami are both IN my class, so…
Hikari smiled as she headed into the kitchen to answer the phone… completely ignoring the fact that this type of behavior was what had labeled her a busybody.
**
"I'll be right back."
Rei did not look up from her plate as Shinji announced his departure. "You sure you don't want a ride?" Misato asked once more, leaning back in her chair and stretching until her midsection was bare.
"No thank you," Hikari chirped brightly, "I like taking the train actually – gives me a chance to think."
"You can't do that at home?" Misato inquired teasingly.
"With two sisters and a hamster?" Hikari snorted, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. "Yeah right."
"Well dinner was great," the older woman said honestly, "you can cook for us anytime!"
Rei glanced at the class representative from the corner of her eyes, finding the girl looking rather uncomfortable.
"M-maybe," Hikari stammered, shooting Shinji an oddly embarrassed look. "If, you know – if Shinji needs some more help, I guess…"
The two teens made their exit, leaving Misato, Rei, and Bella alone in the kitchen. Silence prevailed for several minutes as Rei finished her meal, Bella colored, and Misato studied them both.
"You don't know why she was embarrassed, do you?" Misato asked suddenly.
Rei laid her chopsticks down and picked up a napkin, carefully wiping the corners of her mouth before replying, "No, I do not… but it is not important."
"Important or not, I'm still gonna explain it," Misato winked.
"I see."
The older woman leaned back in her chair once more, considering the First Child over the rim of her after-dinner coffee mug. "Eh, forget it," she sighed, deciding that she would be wasting her breath trying to point out to the pale girl why cooking a meal for a man (mitigating circumstances of a lost child not withstanding) could be seen as a sign of interest. "Just finish up and I'll take you home."
"Yes ma'am."
"Ooo, so obedient," Misato grinned, "maybe I'll just order you to come and take care of Bella fulltime."
Rei regarded the woman calmly for a moment. "I would not be able to follow such an order," she replied coolly, "it would conflict with-"
"Joke," Misato cut in, rolling her eyes, "it was just a joke, Rei – you don't think I'd really abuse my position like that, do you?" When the First said nothing, Misato groaned. "You do… God, you must think I'm just a drunken, carefree little tramp."
Wisely, Rei kept silent. Her behavior at home is far different from her behavior at NERV, she observed critically, but no, I suppose she would not attempt to issue such a frivolous order.
A tug at her sleeve drew her attention.
"Heeoh," Bella yawned, "pictcho fo Rei."
Rei took what seemed like the hundredth stick-figure drawing, noticing absently that it was a depiction of her eating dinner, her stick hand looking rather like a porcupine from the child's attempt to draw chopsticks in it.
"She loves saying your name," Misato pointed out thoughtfully, "if it's me or Shinji, she just says 'you,' but she always calls you by name."
Rei found that she had no reply to this observation. What could she say, really? So a vagabond child enjoyed repeating her name – why should that affect her? Granted there was vaguest sense of… satisfaction, perhaps? at being needed, but when all was said and done, she was a Child, and she could not allow herself to be distracted by something as simple as an overly affectionate toddler.
"We should get going," Misato announced, sliding her chair back from the table, "she's getting tired – if I'm lucky, she'll fall asleep in the car and I can actually get a good night's sleep." She rose to her feet, grabbing her jacket and throwing it over her shoulders. "Come on, we'll pick Shinji up on his way back from the train station."
"Yes ma'am."
As the woman headed for the door, Rei place the pile of pictures that had accumulated in her lap down on the table, but before she could leave, there was another tug on her sleeve.
"What?" she said calmly, turning to find Bella staring up at her with a bright smile. "What do you need?"
"Rei's pictchos," the girl said serenely, grabbing the stack of papers and offering it out to the First Child, "Rei take Rei's pictchos."
Rei briefly considered saying that she did not want the stack of drawings, but a quick mental rundown of the younger girl's behavior thus far hinted that a tantrum might be forthcoming. She seems more volatile when she is tired, Rei thought, silently taking the pictures, it would be best to avoid an argument.
"Take Rei howem," Bella sighed, starting for the door and keeping Rei's shirt firmly clasped in her hand, "time fo Rei go sleepy."
Bemused, Rei just followed along, getting the oddest feeling that the younger girl was trying to act like an adult. How strange, she thought, lifting her right foot as the toddler crouched down and pulled on her ankle, trying to slide Rei's shoe on for her.
"Thayo."
"They are on the wrong feet," Rei pointed out, glancing down at her shoes.
Bella's brow furrowed as she regarded Rei's feet, and after a moment's thought, she crouched down once more, deliberately lifting the older girl's right foot and crossing it over her left.
"Thayo. Aww fixed."
A bright flash made Rei blink.
"Sorry," Misato whispered, clicking her camera off and setting it carefully on the floor, "I couldn't help it."
With a faint sense of vexation at the woman for photographing her in such a ludicrous position, Rei slipped her shoes off and put them on the right feet, following her out the door and offering no protest as Bella took her hand, smiling happily.
**
Rei kept her silence as the moving walkway trundled along through the depths of NERV central. It is the third Friday, she reminded herself, resisting the urge to cast a sidelong glance at her companion, Gendou Ikari, to see what his expression was.
The third Friday of the month, for as long as Rei could remember, meant dinner with the Commander, an event she looked forward to for most of the month. They would go to his apartment, or some nice restaurant with good vegetarian food, they would talk about mundane things whenever they felt that the comfortable silence had gone on too long, and at the end, the Commander would drive her home in his car, solemnly wishing her goodnight before driving away into the evening dark. It was an event so familiar and regular in Rei's life that she could have set her clock by it. Even when she was recovering from her injuries in Unit 00, the Commander had come to eat with her on the third Friday of the month.
It had even enabled her to avoid dining with Ikari, Captain Katsuragi, and Bella – something she had not had a valid reason for bypassing for three days.
Today, however, the conversation did not promise to be comfortable, as the Commander seemed to have something weighing on his mind. "Your synchronization scores seem to be up," he said, finally breaking the silence.
Rei tried to relax. Everything was as it should be.
"Yes, three points."
"And how is school?" the Commander asked coolly.
"No difficulties," Rei replied truthfully. Indeed, none of her current issues had any relation to school whatsoever.
Of course, the Commander was not a stupid man.
"That's good," he said levelly, "however…"
"Yes?" Rei asked quietly, knowing that of all the people in her life, this was not the one to be forced to wait for her to show that she was paying attention.
"About this… girl that the Third Child has taken in," Gendou said levelly, "I have noticed that you have spent a good deal of time at Captain Katsuragi's apartment over the past few days, assisting in the tending of the girl." He glanced at Rei from the corner of his eye. "Do I have any reason to be concerned by this?"
Rei, of course, knew what was really being asked.
"No sir," she said softly, "it will not interfere with my other duties."
There was a brief pause. "And I can be assured that, should the need arise, you will place NERV objectives over personal goals?"
Rei blinked. This was a question she never would have expected to hear – not from her Commander! Had she not always performed to the best of her abilities? Had she not always placed NERV interests above her own? Why even ask such an unusual question, when she had little to no desire to even be in Bella's presence, let alone presume to place her needs above those of all mankind?
"Of… of course, Commander."
Gendou's lips compressed slightly at the hesitance in her reply. "Perhaps it would be easier if the choice was clearer for you," he said slowly.
He… does not believe me, Rei thought with amazement; surely he must know that it is not my choice to spend time with Bella.
"Yes," Gendou said thoughtfully, "I think it would be best if you were to avoid contact with the girl from this point forward."
Confused, Rei could only reply, "If that is your order, sir."
"It is."
"Understood."
The duo stepped off the moving walkway. "Good evening, Rei."
"Good evening, Commander."
Rei gave the man a polite bow, her normally placid thoughts moving with far greater rapidity than any time besides a combat situation as he turned and strode away. I am… dismissed; she thought uncertainly, it IS the third Friday… isn't it? She glanced at her watch, frowning slightly as she found that it was definitely the day before Saturday… yet here she was, standing by herself at the end of an empty corridor in NERV central.
There had been no invitation to dinner… no quiet conversation… no comfortable ride in the commander's car – nothing. It was as if she had been discarded… and Rei could not figure out just why.
Have I done something wrong, Commander? she longed to ask, I do not understand. I have followed all of my orders, and my obligations have all been fulfilled… why am I…
"Punished…"
The word rolled off her tongue like a worm – a vile and unclean thing that had somehow found its way into her vocabulary after a lifelong absence. Yes, this was punishment – punishment for not being stronger and telling Ikari to handle his own issues.
She looked around, suddenly realizing how empty the world was when no one noticed you. Always before she had been special – unique. Certainly she could be replaced if the circumstances called for it, but always before she had been treated with a certain… respect, or at the very least, courtesy by her commanding officer. She had shared his house for the first few years of her life, had dined with him every third Friday since the day she had moved into her own apartment, and had always known – deep down, if not on the surface – that anything she had to say, would be listened to and believed.
And now that certainty had been removed.
Well I have my orders, she thought, taking another glance around the empty hallway before starting off towards the elevator bank, I will simply tell Ikari that I have other obligations, and he will need to find a way to deal with it himself.
With this thought in her mind, and a barely detectable frown on her lips, Rei pushed the elevator call button, determined to keep her life and Bella's life from intersecting ever again.
Life, of course, had other plans.
Continued…
Author's notes: none.
As with 1 and 2, no pre-reader was used on this chapter.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com or by leaving a review on any website with that capability. Thank you.
