Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.
2
2
By Random1377
Hikari lay very still, staring up at Shinji's ceiling and listening to the sounds coming from the living room. From there, it sounded as if a gang of wildly obnoxious pixies had overtaken the house, their shrill voices cutting through the entire apartment and driving aural nails into the minds of anyone unfortunate to be within hearing distance.
It was the sound of fear. It was the sound of madness. It was the sound of…
"Teletubbies."
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as Bella's delighted laugh echoed through the house. What was I thinking? she asked herself, slowly reaching over with her right hand and running her forefinger over the smooth metal on her left ring finger. Miss Katsuragi's getting the records changed right now, but last night she said she wasn't sure they'd buy it.
Hikari bit her lip, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath as a wave of shame washed over her.
Maybe this would all be over today. If the police officer did not believe that she and Shinji had been married for a month – as the records would indicate when Miss Katsuragi was done with them – then she could just go home. She'd done everything she could, hadn't she? Sure she had! She doubted that ninety-five percent of the girls in her class would have gone as far as she had. Who knows? By the end of the day she could be in her own bed, with-
"Stop that," she admonished herself, bringing her left hand up into her field of vision and examining the ring in the faint light filtering through the blinds. "You're being selfish, Hikari. That little girl needs you right now, and so does Shinji. You're not going to run away just because you're a little scared!"
A little? she thought, finally throwing back the covers and swinging her legs out of bed. And scared isn't really the word, is it? How about terrified? How does that fit, hmm?
"Oh shut up."
With a final sigh, Hikari rose to her feet and prepared to face her first day as Misses Ikari.
Fifteen minutes later found her showered, dressed, and feeling much more optimistic about life in general. Shinji, she found, had breakfast waiting for her, and went to great lengths to make her feel comfortable – even going so far as to scramble to his feet as she came out of the bathroom and hurry to pull her chair away from the table so she could sit down.
"Thanks," she murmured, giving him a halfhearted smile as Bella came into the kitchen and climbed up into the chair opposite her. "Good morning, Bella," she said brightly, "did you sleep well?"
Bella nodded, calmly standing up on the chair and reaching across the table to take a piece of toast off of Hikari's plate.
"Bella!" Shinji gasped, "That's rude!"
The little girl stared at him blankly for a minute. "Wand it," she said simply, sitting back down and taking a bite of the toast without another word.
Vexed, Shinji stammered, "I-I'll make you more if you want it! It's… don't take things off other people's plates!"
"It's ok Ik- Shinji…" Hikari said, smiling uncertainly at Bella as she stuffed half of the piece of bread into her mouth. "Hey Bella, I'm… gonna stay with you guys a while, k? So… let's be friends."
Bella blinked, looking from Shinji to Hikari, then back again. "Rei awso?"
Hikari's smile faded a bit.
"No, honey," Shinji said gently. "But… but me and Hikari will umm… be your mommy and daddy for a while, ok?"
Bella giggled. "Shincee is not daddy," she snorted, "siwwy."
At a loss for words, Shinji mumbled something about getting some juice. As he rattled around in the cupboards, Hikari cleared her throat. "So, Bella," she said with forced brightness, "we're… a very important man's going to come by today, so… be a good girl, ok?"
Stop staring at me like I'm stupid! she thought, finding herself annoyed as the little girl slowly munched on HER toast. I'm four times your age, I don't need you throwing me attit- oh man… get a grip, Hikari! She's not trying to piss you off, she's three!
"Officer Kokobunji said he'd be here around four," Shinji said, quietly setting a glass of juice in front of his wife. "And Misato called about a half hour ago. She said she was stopping at the store to pick up some groceries and then she'll be home."
"Ok," Hikari nodded, starting in on her breakfast as Bella slid out of her chair and bounced back into the living room.
Why am I getting so mad? she thought uneasily, nodding as Shinji excused himself to go watch Bella. Maybe it's just nerves… but it just feels like she's trying to annoy me on purpose – and I know that's not right, she's just a little kid. I really need to get it together. No one said it would be easy…
"We should figure out our schedule," Hikari called after several minutes of quiet.
"Ummm… ok," Shinji called back, "I have things to do at NERV on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday… oh, and sometimes Sunday and Monday, too."
Hikari frowned. "That's… a lot," she said slowly, "how do you get all that done with Bella around here all the time?"
Shinji's voice was slightly ashamed as he replied, "Well… Misato's watched her a couple times for me, and if it's just training or paperwork or something, sometimes I just take her with. So far it hasn't been that bad…"
Hikari's frown deepened. But now that I'm here, I'll be the one responsible… she thought grimly, Welcome to adulthood.
"You have some after-school clubs, right?" Shinji called after a moment.
"Not anymore," Hikari muttered, shocked by the bitterness in her voice.
"What was that? I didn't hear you."
Hikari flushed. "N-nothing!"
She leaned back in her chair, trying to get her emotions under control. What's wrong with me? she thought, scrubbing a hand over her face. I just feel like I want to slap him for convincing me to do this. I know it's not like, forever – he promised me it would only be for a little while, just to keep her from going into foster care long enough for that officer to find a good home for her… so why am I so mad?? I'm doing a good thing, right? I know I'm not PMSing… I've still got a week and a half before I start, so what's the deal?
Hikari straightened as Shinji came into the kitchen. "Let me know what days you need to stay late at school," he said, forcing a smile. "We'll… we'll work it out."
"Right," Hikari nodded, averting her eyes, "I'll… look at my schedule and see what days I absolutely can't miss." She licked her lips, looking up at Shinji as he ran his hands idly over the back of one of the other chairs. "So, umm… you don't think… it'll REALLY be a whole year, do you?"
Shinji's hands closed around the back of the chair. "I don't… think so," he said hesitantly. "I mean, Officer Kokobunji said he would do his best to find something more permanent for her… but… no, I don't think it'll be more than a year."
I don't want to do this, Hikari thought suddenly, I jumped in too fast, Shinji… don't hate me, ok? Just…let me back out.
Though all of these thoughts whipped through her mind, Hikari managed to smile. "We'll… do great, huh?" she said warmly. "As long as she needs us, we'll make sure she's ok."
"Right," Shinji nodded, his hands slowly uncurling from their unconscious death-grip on the chair's back. "I'm… gonna get her dressed. She's still in her pajamas."
"K…"
As soon as he had gone, Hikari stood up and put her plate in the sink. Slowly, she made her way into the bathroom and shut the door, running her hands through her hair and taking a deep, shaking breath.
"This won't be so bad," she told her reflection, wondering why she looked so pale. "We're keeping her out of the foster homes… it won't be so bad… it's only a little while… it won't be so bad… she doesn't hate me… this won't… be… so… bad…"
After several more minutes of this odd mantra, Hikari took another deep, cleansing breath and began another.
"Hello," she whispered, smiling into the mirror, "I'm Hikari Ikari. Hello… I'm Misses Shinji Ikari. Hello… I'm Misses Ikari. Hi, I'm Shinji's wife. Hey, I'm… Misses… Ik… ari…"
When Shinji knocked on the door to ask if everything was ok, Hikari had to explain to him that the reason she had suddenly cried out was because she had stubbed her toe on the vanity.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
"Ok," Ritsuko Akagi's voice came over the entry plug's speakers, breaking Shinji's concentration, "you guys are done. Shinji, Misato said she'll meet you in her office… she has a meeting to attend to."
Shinji leaned back in his seat and sighed, watching the bubbles this action caused drift up through the LCL. Finally, he thought, waiting for the connection liquid to drain so he could get out. I thought that would never end.
He started slightly as the Project-E director's voice piped up again. "You did really well today, Shinji," the woman said approvingly, "you're up five points. Well done."
"Umm, thanks," Shinji said weakly, blushing as he remembered the woman's coolly assessing stare upon hearing of his recent marriage.
They had told her as soon as they had arrived at NERV, and to her credit, Shinji thought, she had suppressed her shock very well – especially after she learned the reasons for the impromptu wedding. "I… admit that I'm surprised," the blonde had murmured softly, "but congratulations, Shinji. I'm sure you'll be very happy."
The LCL drained out of the plug in a rush, and Shinji climbed gratefully out. "Hey Ayanami," he waved as Rei emerged from her plug.
"Hello, Ikari," Rei replied, making her way over to his side.
"We, umm… we got married last night."
"Yes," Rei nodded, "I was watching Bella."
"Oh, right," Shinji laughed nervously, sheepishly scratching his neck as they started walking towards the locker rooms. "Thanks for doing that, by the way… it really saved us."
"You are welcome," the First murmured. Then, to Shinji's surprise, she added, "The meeting with Kokobunji was… successful?"
"It was… really easy, actually," Shinji admitted, still marveling that the girl had continued a conversation of her own volition. "He just wanted to see the marriage license, asked where we would be living, and said he would do his best to find something more permanent." He shrugged awkwardly as another thought occurred to him. "Thanks for… telling Misato you heard me talking to… to my father…"
Rei stopped short; staring down at the floor for a moment as Shinji took another step, then looked back over his shoulder, frowning uncertainly. "I… you are… welcome."
Shinji's shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry you had to lie for me," he whispered, keeping his eyes averted. "I just… the idea of her in one of those… places – I just couldn't let that happen." When he raised his eyes, he found Rei studying him closely.
"Have you ever been to one?" she asked softly, tilting her head to the side as he fumbled out that he had not. "Nor have I," she murmured, "my only experience with foster care is what I have seen in the newspapers."
"So you… you think I made a mistake," Shinji mumbled, swallowing with some difficulty. "You think I should have let the police handle it."
Rei began walking again, stepping past him and putting a hand on the locker room door. "I did not say that," she whispered finally, glancing back over her shoulder as Shinji lifted his head to stare at her in confusion. "…but I do not believe that I could have taken her in, had it been left to me."
With a slight nod, Rei stepped into the women's locker room, leaving Shinji alone in the hall.
Was that… admiration? he thought, baffled by the girl's odd tone. No way… I must be imagining things…
Shrugging the idea off Shinji went into the locker room, quickly showering and making his way to Misato's office. "Huh…" he hummed, "where is she?" After several minutes of waiting, he got up and wandered down the hall, hoping to bump into her on her way back from wherever she was. "Excuse me," he said, bowing politely as he approached a work technician repairing one of the myriad overheard lights. "Have you seen Captain Katsuragi, by any chance?"
"Katsuragi?" the tech grunted. "Tall broad? Purple hair? Great set?"
Blinking, Shinji shuffled his feet. "Ummm, yeah," he mumbled. "That's her."
"Yeah, she went by here fifteen minutes ago… looked like she was headed towards the Commander's office."
"Thanks."
Father's office? Shinji thought, hurrying down the corridor after giving the tech another quick bow. I hope it's… oh… oh no…
Rounding the corner, he broke into a run, visions of Misato and his father arguing over his marriage flashing in his mind. He paused as he neared his father's office, standing with his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.
"S-she didn't know," he whispered, unconsciously speaking his planned excuse, "I… I left a message for you, but it must not have gotten through… and I didn't really think you'd mind, so…"
This is the WORST excuse ever, he thought grimly, making his way to his father's door and raising his hand to knock, damn it… I was so caught up in thinking about Bella that I didn't even think I'd have to deal with-
"…isn't the point," the voice of his father came through the door – open, Shinji noticed belatedly, just a crack. "I simply find it hard to believe that you allowed yourself to buy into this fabrication, Captain. If you are truly naïve enough to be taken in by the mechanizations of a fourteen year old, perhaps I should reconsider your value to this organization, wouldn't you agree?"
Shinji suppressed a groan. Damn it…
"There were… others who confirmed that he spoke to you, sir," Misato's voice countered, sounding stressed. "Again, I can only apologize for my lapse in judgment. If you'd like, I can have the marriage annulled right away, and I can assure you that nothing like thi-"
"Captain," the Commander's voice cut in, sounding rather bored with the conversation. "You're babbling."
"Sorry sir."
Shinji heard his father sigh. "Captain," the man said quietly, forcing Shinji to strain his ears to pick up what was being said, "did you see the results of his sync test this afternoon?"
"Y-yes sir," Misato replied, sounding confused, "it was up by five points…but what-"
"Let me make this perfectly clear," Gendou interrupted once more, "because I do not want to be here all night while you figure it out for yourself." There was a sound like fabric brushing leather, which Shinji assumed was his father leaning forward to link his hands in front of his face. "The Third Child's romantic, marital, even conjugal exploits are of absolutely no concern to me. I must say that his using my name to get what he wanted was… unexpected. However, as long as his synchronization ratio remains high, and he is able to fight, what he does in his free time could not matter less."
There was a long moment of silence, broken when Misato whispered, "Understood."
"Excellent," Gendou said coolly. "Now, I have just received word that the Second Child and Evangelion Unit 02 will be arriving tomorrow aboard the aircraft carrier Over the Rainbow. I want you to take Shinji, and his… wife, if he wishes her to go, and retrieve the Second. Inform him that he may bring another guest, if he so wishes, it really doesn't matter."
"Take Shinji?" Misato repeated. "May I ask why, sir? And aren't civilians prohibited from accessing military transports? The Admiral won't like it…"
"That's just one more reason to do it," the Commander said dryly. "As for why Shinji is going with… understanding your orders is not a prerequisite for fulfilling them. Dismissed."
"Sir, there is a prob-"
"Ahh yes," Gendou grumbled. "The child."
"Yes sir," Misato confirmed, hesitating before adding, "I'm afraid… she's somewhat hard to deal with, if she does not know the person caring for her, sir, so if there was any way someone… familiar to her could assist in her care…"
There was another moment of silence. "I see," the Commander muttered coolly, "very well… I will have Rei report to your apartment tomorrow at oh-six-thirty to assist. Good day, Captain."
"Sir."
Realizing just how bad it would be to be found eavesdropping on his father, Shinji darted down the corridor and ran all the way back to Misato's office, his mind whirling with the things he had heard. The Second Child? Unit 02? Ayanami? He sank down in Misato's office chair, panting for breath and shaking his head in confusion. Why not just have Hikari stay home to watch her? That's… one of the reasons we did this. I don't understand…
"Hey."
Shinji looked up as Misato came into her office, her brown eyes watching him closely as she slid the door quietly closed and leaned against it. "How was your meeting?" Shinji blurted, feeling like a ventriloquist's dummy as he offered her a big, false smile.
Misato pursed her lips. "We have new orders," she said abruptly, "we need to get home."
"Right," Shinji said, his shoulders slumping. Slowly, he rose to his feet and stepped through the door as Misato moved out of his way.
"Shinji."
"Hmm?"
Shinji's knees felt weak as Misato put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry I came down on you so hard yesterday. I know you think you're doing what's right, I just… I'm sorry, ok?"
"Yeah," Shinji nodded, giving her a much more honest smile. "And thanks…"
"For what?"
"Everything."
Before the woman could reply, Shinji gave her a quick, awkward bow and hurried out of the room.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hikari raised her head as she heard the wonderful sound of Shinji calling, "We're home."
Thank GOD!
"We're in the living room," she answered, closing the magazine she had been reading and rising to her feet. "Come on, Bella, let's go say hi."
Bella nodded, sucking a little harder on her thumb as she slid off the chair Hikari had placed her in forty minutes prior.
Well I had to clean up, Hikari thought guiltily as they made their way into the kitchen. And she just kept getting in the way.
"Hey," she sighed, relief obvious in her tone as Bella walked over to stand by Shinji's leg, absently taking his hand in hers as Misato excused herself and went to her bedroom, a very dark expression on her face. "I made some dinner, but it's gotten a little cold, so… what's wrong?"
Shinji was frowning down at Bella. "Did something happen?" he asked, sounding slightly baffled, "she's never held my hand on her own before… and wasn't she wearing the blue dress when we left?"
Hikari folded her arms, frowning slightly and looking down at the little girl. "Would you like to tell Shinji what happened, Bella?" she asked levelly. When Bella just stared at her, Hikari sighed, "She got wet. I was making dinner and she said she had to use the bathroom, so I told her to go… but she just kept standing there and telling me she had to go." She shrugged uncomfortably. "So, I don't know… she just… got wet."
"Did you go with her?" Shinji asked, reaching down with his free hand to pat Bella on the head.
"Why would I?" Hikari asked, confused, "She said she knew where it was… and I was cooking."
Shinji bit his lip. "Well, she usually asks you to go with her," he said slowly.
Is THAT what she was saying? Hikari thought, her frown deepening as she assessed the little girl. She kept saying she had to go, and mumbling something else – but she's so damn hard to understand sometimes! God, this is hard… how was I supposed to know I had to go with her??
She cleared her throat. "Well, she'll need to learn to go by herself," she said calmly, "when my little sister Nozomi was three, she wouldn't go anywhere without this raggedy little stuffed bear. It got all nasty and gross smelling until my dad finally told her she just couldn't have it anymore." She chuckled softly. "He said it was a biohazard, and she cried for a couple days, but she got over it. This is the same kind of thing. We can't keep spoiling her you know – she'll have to figure out how to go on her own sometime."
Shinji averted his eyes. "I… I guess you're right," he mumbled uncomfortably. "You know more about kids than I do, so-"
"Ha!" Hikari laughed. "I have a little sister, so I know some stuff… but I'm not like, a professional babysitter or anything." Her brow creased slightly. "Is that why you asked me to do this, Shinji? Because you thought I-"
"No," Shinji cut in quickly, shaking his head for emphasis, "I… you just seemed to like Bella, and I really… I just thought the two of us could keep something bad from happening to her, you know?
Hikari nodded, her brow clearing as Bella looked away from her. "I know," she said, forcing her voice to be light, "I just… as long as it's not forever."
"It won't be," Shinji assured her quickly. "So, umm… we've… got to go on a trip for NERV, and…"
"And I have to stay here with Bella, right?" Hikari asked, her voice cooling considerably as Shinji trailed off.
Shinji managed a smile. "No, actually," he said, smiling weakly as he outlined the planned trip to get the newest pilot for NERV. "…so I was thinking Kensuke would like that kind of thing," he concluded, "He likes military stuff."
"Well," Hikari said slowly, "I… I think Suzuhara does too, and I'll bet he'd like a little getaway – I heard he's having some problems at home, you know, with his dad and his sister and everything."
"Oh," Shinji mumbled awkwardly, "his sister… right."
What are you doing? Hikari thought as the young man shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Inviting the guy you've got a crush on to go on a trip with you and your 'husband'? How tacky is that? You're a married woman, now, you know, and-
"Oh shut up…"
Shinji blinked. "Huh?"
Hikari blinked, realizing that she'd spoken out loud. "Nothing," she said, rubbing the bridge of her nose tiredly, "I was just thinking about something else."
Shinji nodded, and they fell into an uncomfortable silence. After a few moments, the young man laughed weakly.
"What is it?" Hikari wondered.
"I was just thinking," Shinji said, a faint tinge of red gracing his cheeks as Bella finally pulled her thumb out of her mouth and let go of his hand, wandering over to the table and grabbing a crayon and some paper. "This can be kind of… kind of like a honeymoon…"
Hikari tried to relax. "I guess it can," she said gently, catching herself before she could remind him not to expect the kind of benefits a REAL honeymoon would bring. "So who's going to watch Bella?"
Like I need to ask, she thought, rolling her eyes as Bella set the blue crayon down and picked up the red. There's only one person he COULD leave her with…
Though she knew exactly what was coming, Hikari still clenched her teeth tightly together as Shinji gave his reply.
Continued…
Author's notes: can't think of any, other than to say that I've uploaded this chapter 4 times to fanfiction.net and every time it has stripped out the symbols I use for scene breaks. Here goes try number 5. Think I'll try a minus sign this time
2 is not being pre-read.
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com
