Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.
2
3
By Random1377
"Hey, Shinji," a husky voice murmured in the Third Child's ear. "Your wife can't find her panties, and your daughter wants cocopuffs."
For a moment, Shinji simply lay on the couch, feeling certain that his dream of quietly watching clouds go by with the pretty, dark haired girl he had seen on his way out of NERV the day before had somehow accelerated into the future, where the two of them were married and happily living in the suburbs.
This wonderfully quaint idea was quickly dispelled as the owner of the husky voice said, "Get the hell up! We're going to be late!!"
Shinji groaned tiredly as Misato shook him (rather roughly, he thought) and yanked the blanket off of him. "I'm… up…" he mumbled, forcing himself upright and rubbing his eyes as the woman blew out a disgusted breath.
"Cocopuffs," Misato said snappishly, "panties… get up. God, I don't know what you'll do when you guys move out – you're hopeless! And don't point that thing at me; I said YOU get up… pervert."
"Panties…?" Shinji echoed dumbly, squinting up at his guardian in confusion. "Point… what? What are you-"
"I found them," Hikari interjected, coming into the living room with a rather disagreeable frown on her face, the bulk of her concentration focused on the zipper attached to the pair of shorts she was trying to put on. "Damn it, it's stuck… can you help me, Miss Katsuragi? I can't get this stupid thing up!"
Misato opened her mouth to answer when a loud crash and a muttered 'ah-oh' came from the kitchen. "Ask your husband," she said flatly, "I think Bella just decided she could get her own cereal."
Hikari sighed. "Shinji," she said tiredly, nodding as Misato excused herself, "could you-"
Shinji frowned as she cut herself off, turning quickly away from him. "What's wrong?" he asked, stretching languidly and swinging his legs off the couch. "I…" he trailed off as he realized exactly what Misato was saying a moment ago.
"GAH!!"
Hikari kept her eyes averted as Shinji grabbed the blanket and yanked it back over his legs. "So," she said as levelly as she could, trying her best to ignore the bright flush on her cheeks, "can you, ummm… give me a hand here?"
"Sure," Shinji squeaked, thinking idly that it sure would be a nice gesture on Misato's part if she shot him just then.
That's just perfect, he thought darkly as Hikari reluctantly edged just close enough for Shinji to reach her, looking very uncomfortable as he reached out and fumbled with her zipper. Not a good way to start the day… covers yanked off… usual morning… ummm… yeah – and two women standing right there to see. PLUS, here I am, with my hands practically IN Hikari's pants, and… oh what's the use… just stop thinking about it, stupid!
Shinji felt a strong wave of relief wash over him as Hikari's zipper finally relented and came unstuck, rising smoothly until it had closed all the way. "There we go," he said brightly, forcing his hands not to shake as he pulled them away. They stood there in silence for a moment as Hikari fastened the button and nodded to herself, looking around the small living room with an expression that nearly screamed 'why am I here, again??'
"Did you sleep ok?"
"Hmm?" Shinji leaned forward, surprised by the sudden question.
"We were supposed to trade last night, remember?" Hikari pointed out softly. "That was the deal we worked out… but I just took your bed again. I'm sorry…"
Shinji smiled. "It's ok," he said warmly, "your head hurt, and Bella was up kind of late, so it wasn't like I could just leave you alone with her."
Hikari nodded, folding her arms and sitting on the opposite side of the couch. "Well, thanks," she said quietly. After a moment of silence she murmured, "Do you always let her stay up as late as she wants?"
"Hmm? No," Shinji shook his head. "She hasn't been here that long really… but I've kind of tried to get her to bed by eight or eight thirty… but yesterday was so rough I thought I should just let her do what she wanted."
"That makes sense," Hikari admitted, frowning as another thought occurred to her. "So does she actually go to bed at eight? Or is that just when you start trying?"
Shinji coughed. "Well, I, ummm…"
Hikari laughed. "Thought so," she chuckled, "well she'll learn, I guess, so no big deal."
"I should check on her," Shinji observed, "it's too quiet in there. I hope Misato doesn't have her like, stuffed in the fridge or something…"
"You might want to invest in some pants first," Hikari said offhandedly, carefully studying the backs of her hands as Shinji stood up. "Just, you know – my advice."
Shinji managed a smile. "What kind of… of husband would I be if I ignored my wife's advice?"
IDIOT!! he thought as Hikari tensed, You know she's been edgy since the 'wedding…' why did you go and say that!?
Hikari took a deep, calming breath, looking up at Shinji with an awkward, forced smile. "Well," she said slowly, "I… I am your wife, right?" She lowered her eyes again, nodding as she whispered – almost to herself, "So I should start acting like it."
They stayed quiet for several, painfully long moments before Shinji cleared his throat and mumbled, "You don't have to."
The girl closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. "No, Shinji," she said calmly, "I do. For one thing, people will figure it out if we just treat each other like we did before – and if that happens, we'll be back to square one. Plus…" she looked up at him, giving him an uncertain smile, "you are my friend, and… and I've been kind of a bitch since moving in. You deserve better than that, especially from your wife – even if I am just a convenience for y-"
"You're not!" Shinji gasped, horrified – both by the idea that she thought of herself that way, AND the words flying from his mouth. "You're not… just a convenience! I… I like you, Hikari…"
"Thank you, Shinji," Hikari said gently, "I like you too… but really, if anyone else had been willing to do this, would I be sitting here right now?"
Shinji shuffled his feet. "Maybe…" he whispered, unable to meet her eyes.
Hikari shook her head. "You're sweet," she said quietly. "I'll sleep on the couch tonight, ok? And I'll try to act more like… like a wife. But you better hurry up and get dressed before Misato comes to find you."
Reluctantly, Shinji nodded and headed off to his bedroom to get dressed, feeling that he should try to convince her once again that he wanted her there… but finding himself unable to come up with any arguments that did not start with 'if it wasn't for you' or 'Bella.'
- - - - -
"REI!!"
Hikari shook her head as Bella greeted Rei in her usual manner – namely, slamming headlong into the blue-haired girl's stomach and knocking the wind from her. "Good morning, Ayanami," she said levelly, "How are you?"
"I am well," Rei replied, calmly disentangling herself from Bella's arms, though allowing the girl to keep her right hand tightly clutched in hers. "How are you, Misses Ikari?"
"Please just call me Hikari," the class rep asked softly, "at least for a couple days, ok? I… need to get used to it."
Rei nodded. "Understood."
Hikari motioned the girl in. "She's already had breakfast," she said, nodding to Bella as the girl pulled Rei towards the living room. "And Ik- Shinji rented a couple movies to keep her occupied."
Look at that, she thought, pursing her lips as Bella jabbered animatedly to the calmly listening girl, why does she like her so much? Ayanami hardly says three words at a time to her, and she looks like she'd rather be home doing laundry than here! …of course, she looks like that at school, too, so who knows.
"Ok," Misato came into the living room looking very irritated. "Small problem."
"What's up?" Hikari asked.
"Shinji's friend… got lost."
"What??"
Misato barely suppressed a sigh. "I guess he was tired or something, got off at the wrong train stop… and he's downtown at a payphone right now, because he didn't bring enough cash with him for another train ride – and he's in a bad mood because he lost his new hat, or something." She shook her head. "I swear… kids will be the death of me."
Hikari considered this for a moment. "Where's Shinji?" she asked thoughtfully. "Still in the shower?"
"Uh huh," Misato nodded, "and I've still got to shower, and my skirt is still in the dryer, and-"
"Shouldn't you have dried that last night?"
Misato threw her hands up. "Oh, this coming from the girl that couldn't find her own underpants," she quipped, grabbing her purse off the coffee table, "look, here's ten bucks. Go downtown, find Suzuhara, and bring him back. We'll be ready to go when you get here, ok? Think you can handle that, Misses Ikari?"
Hikari took the bill with a bland expression. "You just love calling me that, don't you?" she asked coolly.
To her surprise, Misato shook her head. "Hate it," she said smoothly, "but if I don't get used to it, I'll forget and call you Horaki in public. And that would be bad, wouldn't it?"
Wow, Hikari thought, slightly abashed, she thinks just like me.
"He said he was at the corner of Ayoama and Forty-Fifth," Misato said briskly, "I told him to go to the closest train station and stay there, so… think you can find him?"
"Yes ma'am!" Hikari said, snapping Misato a salute. "I won't let you down!"
Misato chuckled, and in the brief silence that followed, Bella suddenly announced that, "Hikawi wost huw pandees."
Hikari met Rei's eyes for a moment as the girl glanced up at her. "I see," Rei said finally, looking back to the show she had put on for Bella. "She must be uncomfortable…"
Misato and Hikari exchanged glances. She did NOT just say that! Hikari thought incredulously as Misato shrugged and headed into her room.
"I did find them, you know," she said dryly, reminding herself that the enigmatic blue-haired girl was most likely being entirely serious in her observation.
Rei simply nodded.
Great, Hikari thought, I get firsthand knowledge on the question 'does Shinji prefer boxers or briefs,' and now I'm getting heckled by the silent wonder – what a way to start the day. She started for the door, but came up short as she noticed something about the way Bella was sitting with Rei. When they had watched movies the night before, Bella had bounced all over the place, making noise along with the characters on screen and laughing out loud.
But with Rei, she just sat still, resting her head on Rei's shoulder and staring at the television with a faint, slightly happy smile.
Spoiled little b-
Hikari shoved the thought out of her mind, quickly exiting the apartment and making her way to the train station. The train ride was short and uneventful, and Hikari made a point of keeping her mind on menial things to ensure that she did not have another meltdown like the day before.
"Can't believe I actually screamed," she muttered as she stepped off the train, "I just-"
She came up short.
Is that…? No, she couldn't have-
"Can I help you?"
Hikari shook herself. "I'm sorry," she said, bowing politely to the young woman on the bench, "you… look like someone I know."
"Oh," the girl shrugged, "whatever…"
"Excuse me."
Hikari bowed once more and made her way towards the exit to the train station, glancing back over her shoulder to confirm that she had really seen what she thought she had seen. Looks just like her, she thought, shaking her head in wonder, Maybe-
"Hey, Ikari!"
Caught off guard, Hikari stumbled, barking her shin on one of the benches. "Ow!"
She crouched down, rubbing her injured leg with a pained expression. "You should be more careful," a strong voice advised, making her look up, "a married woman is supposed to be graceful and elegant. Or at least, that's what my dad says."
"Hey Suzuhara," Hikari managed a sickly smile, "Guess you found- hey wait!" she gasped, her eyes widening. "You… married woman??"
"No," Touji grunted, "you married woman, I Touji!" The jock seemed to find this comment very amusing, as he threw his head back and laughed out loud.
Hikari rose to her feet, looking very confused. "No, no," she waved a hand, as if trying to ward off any more awful puns, "how did you… know…?"
Touji shrugged, glancing into the train station. "Ikari told me," he said absently, "hey, is that-"
"No," Hikari cut in impatiently, "it just looks like her… but Shinji told you? It was supposed to be a secret!"
"Well, until you got back to school," Touji pointed out, taking one last considering look at the girl on the bench. "Did you think people wouldn't notice when they called Hikari Ikari at roll? Or when you and Shinji hold hands and make out?"
"We wouldn't do that!!" Hikari gasped, quickly adding, "In public…"
Touji chuckled. "Hey, it's cool," he shrugged, "Shinji told me the whole story. He said he had to tell someone about it, and since he doesn't have family like you do, he spilled it to me." He sighed, ruefully adding, "Made me promise not to tell anyone though. Man, what good is a secret if you can't even tell anyone??"
Hikari averted her eyes. "O-oh," she stammered, "I… guess that makes sense…"
I don't know why I'm surprised, she thought, leading Touji to the other side of the station to catch the train home, My dad knows the details, so I have someone I can talk to… but Shinji, well, all he has is me and Misato – and neither of us have really been that talkative to him lately.
She spent the train ride with Touji filling him in on the details Shinji had left out – though there really weren't many – and pretending she did not understand his repeated, completely unveiled insinuations that she and Shinji would soon be (as Touji put it) 'working on making another one.'
I never knew he was such a pervert, she thought as they exited the train and started to make their way home, guess it's just a guy thing. I'm sure Shinji was looking down my shirt last night at dinner… though I guess that could have been my imagination, and I AM his wife, so – God, I think I'll take up gardening, just so I'll have something to think about INSTEAD of this!!
As they neared the apartment, Touji caught her by the arm. "Hey, wait," he said quickly.
"What is it?" Hikari asked, not at all minding the little shiver that ran up her spine as his hand touched her skin.
Married woman, she thought quickly, I'm a married woman. Married, not dating, MARRIED. Him Touji, you married, remember? Ha ha. Pretty damn funny, isn't it??
"Well, you know how you hooked up with Shinji to help him out with the kid and all?"
"Uh huh?" Hikari asked, feeling slightly confused.
"I just," Touji shrugged, scratching the side of his nose and averting his eyes as he mumbled, "I think it's kind of cool that you did that, ya know?"
Hikari's back tensed, and before she could stop herself, words were leaving her mouth.
"Oh sure, now you notice me!!"
Her eyes widened as Touji's jaw fell open.
"Did I… was that out loud?" she asked meekly.
"Y-yeah," Touji stammered releasing her arm.
"I'm sorry," Hikari said quickly, "I just…"
Just what? she thought frantically, I just have this huge crush on you, why don't we have an affair? I'm not REALLY married – you know it's just a front, so why don't we get together? Shinji won't mind, I'm sure. We can keep it really quiet, and-
"I gotta go. Tell Misato I'll just wait by the car."
Dumbfounded, Touji nodded.
"Er, ok…"
He watched in silence as the class rep folded her arms and hurried around the building towards the parking lot, never once looking back.
- - - - -
Well this… really sucks, Shinji thought, sighing gustily as Touji gave Hikari another furtive look. No one's said a word since we got on the helicopter… and that was almost an hour ago!
He frowned, recalling the odd look on Touji's face when the boy had knocked on the door. Something had happened on the way home, Shinji was sure of it, but Touji just shrugged when he asked what was wrong and said he just felt stupid for losing his hat… and Hikari had just smiled when they got to the car and told him she just wanted to get going as soon as possible.
And they're both lying, Shinji thought sadly, glancing at Misato and finding, much to his amazement, that the woman had fallen asleep. My wife and my best friend, he thought with sudden amusement, it almost sounds like a bad romance movie. The wife sleeps with the guy's best friend, it ruins the marriage, and the guy finds true love with another woman after years of drinking… or something. He leaned back in his seat, frowning faintly as he thought, Of course, in my case, my wife is only married to me because of a little girl, and my best friend has only been my best friend for like, a couple months… if that.
"We're almost there."
Shinji jumped slightly in his seat as a voice whispered in his ear. "Oh, Misato," he took a deep breath, "you scared me… I thought you were asleep."
He shivered as Misato leaned closer to him, pretending to point something out in the sea below. "What's up with them?" she breathed, barely jerking her head towards Touji.
"I… I don't know," Shinji admitted, shrugging uncomfortably. "Maybe they… had a fight on the way…?"
Misato shook her head imperceptibly. "That's not what it looks like, Shinji," she whispered, "I… maybe I'm being paranoid, but it seems like… you know what, never mind, I'm probably jumping at shadows."
"No," Shinji said quickly, trying to keep his voice as low as hers, "what?"
With a sigh, Misato softly murmured, "Were they… dating before all this got started?"
Shinji gaped at her. "No!" he shook his head emphatically. "No way!"
"How are you so sure?"
"Well," Shinji said slowly, "I just… Touji wouldn't bother hiding something like that," he said finally, "he doesn't care what other people think of him."
Misato was not satisfied. "What if Hikari does?"
After careful consideration, Shinji shook his head once more. "No," he said slowly, "I… I don't think Touji would care even if she wanted to keep it a secret. I know it sounds really bad for me to say that, but… that's just how he is."
"Hmm…" Misato hummed, "well… if it was me I'd keep an eye on them. Something seems… off."
Shinji said that he would try, and Misato leaned back into her seat, closing her eyes once more. Only they're not really closed, he noticed belatedly, they're open just a little. Huh… I wonder if she ever sleeps or if she's always like that…? And does any of this really matter? I mean, we're only married for Bella… Shaking his head, he forced himself to think of something else.
Some time later, the helicopter touched down on the surface of the Over the Rainbow, disgorging its passengers and powering down its engine.
"Is that him?"
Shinji looked up to find a girl with long red hair staring at him, her yellow sundress catching the late-morning light and amplifying it like a magnifying glass, giving the illusion that she was glowing.
It was almost an ethereal vision of fire-soaked beauty, Shinji thought… until an errant gust of sea-wind happened by, and the next thing he knew, his ears were ringing.
"What the hell was that for!?" Touji demanded, rubbing his aching cheek as the girl tugged her dress back down.
"That was the price for a peek," the girl shot back in faintly accented Japanese, "a bargain, nicht?"
"It's overpriced," Touji retorted, unbuttoning his pants in preparation for retaliation. "Here's your chan-"
"Suzuhara!" Hikari's voice cut through the din like a whip, "Don't you dare!"
Huh, Shinji thought as Touji froze in mid trough-drop, even away from school, she's the Class Rep.
"You must be the Third Child," the redhead observed, disregarding Touji entirely now that the conflict was over. "Hmm… not what I thought. Are you sure you beat an angel all by yourself?"
"Shinji," Misato sighed, "This is Asuka."
"Nice to meet-"
"Isn't an Asuka a kind of mosquito?" Hikari interjected suddenly, stepping closer to Shinji and discretely taking his hand.
"And who's this?" Asuka asked, boldly looking Hikari up and down and ignoring her question entirely. "Your girlfriend?"
Hikari stepped forward, giving Asuka a bow that pushed the limits of politeness. "Actually," she said coolly, "I'm his wife."
For the barest of moments, Asuka's eyes widened, but she quickly covered her surprise by asking, "Oh really? So when are you having kids?"
If Shinji had not known the class rep better, he would have sworn she was taking great pleasure in throwing the Second Child off.
"We already have one, actually."
Misato coughed into her fist as Asuka struggled to find an appropriate comeback. "Well," she said briskly, "now that we all know each other, let's get-"
"Hey… Katsuragi."
Shinji blinked as his guardian cut herself off in mid-sentence, staring at a tall man with long brown hair, held back in a ponytail, as he came through one of the ship's doors.
"Kaji…?"
Another gust of wind blew by, and Shinji shivered… though if it was from the breeze, or the suddenly-heavy atmosphere, he was not sure.
Continued…
Author's notes: none come to mind, other than to say I am not a fan of fanfiction.net's new system of previewing, which seems to remove characters like the 'at' symbol in my e-mail address and the asterisks I usually use for scene-breaks. No sir, not a fan of that at all…
2 is not pre-read
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com
