dont own YYH
update!!
'text' the wolf speaking
'text' the fox speaking (for the first time!)
Chapt. 54
And I Called Her Mother
"But, I don't understand! Why're you a lost soul?" I ask her, my mother.
"Because you haven't fulfilled what I prayed you would," she answers, her eyes shivering.
"But I killed her!"
"And you saved Oshi and your father."
"Then what do I have to do?!"
"You know. But that is not why I am here. Hiei wishes you to stop this slaughter! He tells you to wait for him. He promises that he is coming back."
"Lair!" I cry, punching. When I open my teary eyes, I see my hand through the figure of my mother. I could see my whole arm and my fingers wiggle in shock.
"You're…really her…aren't you?" I stutter, removing my hand from her body and wiping the tears from my face.
"I am. Don't feel bad, I didn't expect you to believe or remember me…it was so very long ago," she sighs. "Please heed my words and believe them to be his." With that, she dissipates into the wind.
"Wait!!" I yell after her, but she doesn't return. After a few moments, I whisper, "Please…don't leave me…again." The wind brushes by me gently, soothing my hurt heart.
"Are…are you ok?" a female asks.
I turn and stand, staring at the person. It was the young woman from the village, the one that had the beautiful voice. My eyes widen and I teleport away.
"Hiei, you stupid bastard!!" I scream into the air. "If you wanted me to stay the same, you should never have left! You can't stop me! I will kill!" Dropping to my knees, I look out over the cliff's edge. The air was silent and the water slept peacefully as it made its way down the river far below. The night was young and brisk, a sure sign of winter.
'Forget him. Just keep killing as you have been.'
'It's not that easy, Wolf. When you've loved someone, you can't just forget them like that.'
'Sleep, you need it. Clear your thoughts and dream peacefully tonight.'
I sigh and close my eyes. If only it were that simple. I wanted to forget, to live like this and never have to worry again. But I couldn't. Not as long as his memory plagued my thoughts. At night, crimson eyes peer at me with sadness like no other. He whispers to me, praying that I don't forget.
But I wanted to forget.
"Why can't I just end it all? Why can't I just jump and not live?" I ask myself, staring at the river below. "At least then the blood would no longer stain my soul."
'No, you cannot end it, not like this!'
'Who're you?'
'I am the fox that dwells within you. I have been sleeping in here for too long. I will not allow you to throw your life away.'
'Little too late for that, Fox.'
'Mistakes can be mended. Don't let go of the man you sought so hard to find.'
'He's already gone, you twit! He can't come back!'
I shut the animals away. Speaking with them only caused more pain and sorrow. If they were part of me, why didn't they know that their words were painful? Did they not know my heart? How could they? A wild beast cannot know the heart of a domesticated demon.
"I just wish I had a home to return to." Closing my eyes again, I lay back and breathe in deep. "But I suppose I never really had a home." Sighing, I turn on my side and attempt to fall into a dreamless slumber.
