Hey sorry it took so long for me to upd8 I actually wrote this whole chapter last night. It seems to go by fast but I want to get to the Harry/Draco part which is in chapter 4.

Thanx for the reviews.

All poems are my own, unless stated otherwise.

Chapter 3 Lost

.æ…..

I Want

I wish my life was but a figment of my imagination,
that's why I finish this laceration.
I watch my life flow out of these holes,
because the pain is too much and it's breaking my soul.

I am but a shell of my former self,
wandering around, pretending to be of good health.
I die a little day-by-day.
I want it to end, I don't want to feel,
I don't want to cry, I don't want to heal.

I want it to end, come what may.
I want to die, can't you see?
that's why I cry, because I want to be free.

I want to be held, I want to be loved.
I want to go back to when i was young,
where everything looked and seemed to be fun.
Where emotions never effected our lives,
where we never even though of wanting to die.

Where hugs and kisses made everything better,
and the rain that would fall, always seemed wetter.
Where mommy and daddy could do nothing wrong,
and the smallest of things, always seemed strong.

I want to go back to that young innocence,
instead of living my life in constant suspense.
I want it to end, I don't want to be.
I want to live in a world, where there never was a me.

.æ…..

I opened my eyes for the millionth time. Each time I hoped to see that I am not engulfed in the white that is now plaguing my dreams. I had no idea ho long I've been here, nor what day it was. I had seen the man that pumps drugs into me a couple of times. Since I had been here I had yet to see the outside of this room.

I turned my head to the side to see a tray of food on a table by the door. The smell of it quickly invaded my senses. My stomach gave an upset groan as my hunger became present. I got up and padded my way to the food.

On the tray laid a piece of cold toast, some dry orange slices, and some water held in a paper cup. With another groan from my stomach, I picked up the toast and bit into it. After finishing the toast, I proceeded to drink the water in two gulps. The taste of dissolved medicine lingered in my mouth. I quickly ate the orange slices to remove the taste. When finished I went and sat on the bed.

.æ….

"Harry where have you been?" Damien asked me.

"I can't …. Remember."

"Well, I'm just glad your back." He said with a smile. I smiled back as he led me into a sitting room. He ushered me to sit on one of the couches. Sitting down, he soon sat too. Turning sideways he faced me and rested his hand on my knee. A blush crept to my cheeks and I heard him give a small chuckle.

"Why did you try to hurt them?"

.æ…….

Harry sat in a chair. A couple of psychiatrists where sitting across from him. Harry's eyes where unfocused and distant. The doctors had slipped a drug into his water to get him conscious enough to talk. One of the doctors in the room walked over and repositioned Harry's shirt collar. A blush spread across Harry's cheeks. The doctor gave a small chuckle and sat back down.

"Why did you try to hurt them?"

.æ…….

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked Damien.

"Your relatives, why did you try to hurt them?"

"But, I didn't." Harry looked confusedly at Damien.

"Yes you did… Why?" Damien looked accusingly at Harry.

"Not my relatives… A bear, remember?"

"The bear was your relatives."

"My relatives are not bears, they are human beings."

"We have been over this before Harry. There was no bear." Damien was getting annoyed.

.æ……

"We have been over this before Harry. There was no bear." The doctor said irritated. The doctor doing the speaking leaned over to his assistant.

"He seems to not remember the weekly sessions we've been having the last 2 months. Lower his dosage of medication to 250mg two times a day."

"Yes sir." The assistant said and walked out."

.æ……

Two weeks later….

"Why am I here?" Harry asked sadly.

"You know why." The doctor said sitting across from him.

"Now, why again did you try to hurt them?"

"I saw a bear. Damien said it had rabies."

"Who is Damien?" The doctor said writing in his notepad.

"He's… My boyfriend." He said remembering how he and Damien got together.

.æ…

Harry lay in his bed when he heard the soft click of the bedroom door closing. Lifting his head, he saw the platinum blond walking towards him and sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry sat up and the blankets pooled around his waist.

"Harry, we need to talk." Damien said softly.

"About what?"

"You… Me…Us." Damien said uncertain. Harry reached over and grabbed Damien's hand.

"What about us?"

"I was hoping you would be my boyfriend." A smile graced Harry's face.

"I'd love too." Damien looked up his face full of glee.

.æ…

The doctor looked up at Harry when he said 'boyfriend'.

"How long have you been together?"

"Almost a week." Harry said with a smile.

"You've been here and isolated. How do you see Damien?"

"I see him every night…" Harry said remembering the night before.

.æ…

Damien had discreetly entered Harry's room. He made his way over to the bed and under the covers. He snaked his arm around Harry's waist and pulled him against his body.

"Hello love." He whispered in Harry's ear.

"Hi." Harry said. He turned and faced Damien.

"I missed you." Damien said.

"I missed you too." Harry's hands where under Damien's and rubbing his chest. Damien leaned forward and brushed his lips against Harry's. Harry's eyes fluttered shut and he pressed against Damien. Pulling back slightly, Damien ran his tongue over Harry's lips. With a small gasp from Harry, Damien's tongue invaded Harry's mouth. Shifting his body, Damien rolled on top of Harry, straddling his hips.

.æ…

"HARRY." The doctor said.

"What?" Harry said automatically.

"Damien does not exist. Do you understand?"

"He does too exist, I can prove it." Harry said pulling down his shirt collar. "See he left a hickey last night." He was pointing to white flesh.

"I see nothing Harry." The doctor said. Harry got up from his seat and walked to the mirror in the room. Pulling away his shirt, he inspected his lower neck. Seeing nothing but pale skin, he started rubbing at his neck.

"I know its there… Maybe someone put makeup…" Harry said frantically, rubbing his skin.

"Nothing is there. Damien does not exist."

"No it's not true…" Tears started flowing down Harry's cheeks. He continued rubbing until the flesh of his skin was red and rubbing off. Giving up, Harry punched the mirror. Leaning his forehead against it, he slid down until he was in a fetal position on the floor. He heard a buzzing sound and felt some hands grab him and take him from the room.

.æ…

I heard Damien enter my room. I lowered my head in my arms. I felt the side of the bed dip down from his weight.

"There is nothing there…" Moving my leg, the dip was gone and I was alone in my room. A sob racked my body as I felt tears caress my cheeks. I had really wished the doctor wrong. I wanted Damien to be real. I needed him.

.æ…

"Why did you do that?" Damien asked furiously later that night.

"You aren't real…" I whispered.

"Don't say that. Do you want to never see me again?"

"No… I just…"

"I was here for you when you needed me. Harry… I need you."

"YOU DON'T EXIST." I screamed, tears flooding down my face.

.æ…

"How are you today Harry?" The doctor asked.

"Lost."

"Why?"

"Damien isn't real…" A smile touched the edge of the doctor's mouth.

"I believe we can take you out of confinement now." He said.

"Why did this happen?"

"That is what we are trying to find out."

.æ…

They switched Harry to a new room. It was on the opposite side of the hospital. The room was bare except for 2 beds and 2 dressers. There was person with bright flaming red hair sitting on one of the beds.

"I wonder who that is." "Yeah." "Who is that?" He seemed to be saying to himself. Harry went over to the empty bed and sat down, facing the boy.

"Hi I'm Ron, who are you?"

"Harry." He said shortly.

"Why are you here?"

"I apparently tried to hurt my relatives without knowing."

"I hope he doesn't hurt us." Ron whispered to himself. "Yeah, that would be awful."

"I'm guessing you have multiple personalities."

"Heh… Lunch should be served soon." Not ten seconds later the bell rang and the doors opened. Getting up, Harry followed Ron to the cafeteria.

.æ…

"Hello Ron… Who you got with you?" A girl with bushy brown hair asked.

"This is Harry, he hurt people, or tried too."

"I'm Hermonie, how are you?" She said extending a hand out to Harry.

"I'm good. So why you here?"

"I'm a lesbian and my parents see that as a psychotic trait."

"I bet they would really hate it to know you are in love with me." Ron said in a higher voice, giggling afterwards.

"Yes they would Ginny." Hermonie tapped Ron/Ginny on the nose. Ron just blushed. Harry looked around to notice to the room was filled with people. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of platinum blond.

"Looks like we got Draco again for peer sessions." Hermonie said.

.æ…

Ok that's it for today.

Ron's bothers and sister are his personalities.

Please REVIEW

Next Chapter: Harry meets Draco.