Disclaimer: see 1 for disclaimer.
2
Interlude (3.5)
By Random1377
Rei glanced up from the television, cocking her head to the side and straining her ears to hear past the squeaks and whistles coming from the kid's show currently on the screen.
Bella, always quick to notice if something was wrong – or rather, always quick to notice if Rei was about to leave – looked up. "What wong Wei?" she asked around her thumb.
"Nothing," Rei replied quietly. "I just thought I heard something."
She glanced down to see if the child believed this half-truth, but Bella had already gone back to watching her movie.
They have started fighting…
Rei frowned, trying to relax on the couch as the thought – so full of certainty – breezed through her mind. It was always this way for her: whether she was in the battle or not, she always knew the moment the first blow had been landed. It was something she meant to ask the Commander about, but never seemed to find a good moment. There was always something to distract her, and by the time she remembered, it seemed so trivial and distant that she discarded it as imagination. Until, of course, the next fight.
"Would you like another cracker?" she asked, glancing down at the sizable pile of crumbs in the girl's lap.
Bella shook her head, her eyes never leaving the screen.
Rei nodded to herself. I am… anxious, she thought, shifting on the couch as the toddler suddenly giggled, pointing to the television and urging her to look. I should be in combat, not here. I am… not supposed to be here…
She tried to relax, absently taking a cracker from the box on the table next to the couch and popping it into her mouth. No, she was not supposed to be here – she was supposed to be fighting, protecting, fulfilling her purpose. She was not supposed to be babysitting an orphaned little girl while others did her work for her. Even if her EVA was damaged – and Commander Ikari assured her it would be repaired soon – she should be where the fighting was happening.
So why do I feel comfortable here?
Rei suppressed an uncharacteristic shiver. This was not her place – definitely not now that Shinji had 'married' the class representative. Rei still put this thought in parenthesis, as she in no way considered the two other teens actually wed. Regardless of their true feelings, however, they were Bella's current guardians… and she should not be so relaxed about occupying their place at the girl's side.
It is… unavoidable, she told herself reasonably, the Commander ordered my presence in order to allow the retrieval of the Second. I should not… be ashamed.
"Ashamed," she whispered aloud, not noticing that Bella's eyes had left the television
How long has it been since I've felt that?
Rei cast her mind back, trying to recall the last time shame had been a deciding factor in any of her decisions, but for the life of her she could not recall having felt it before. But that was impossible, wasn't it? Surely there must be some childhood memory of doing something embarrassing, shouldn't there?
Frowning, she tried to focus on the odd feeling inside her, but before she could give it much more thought, she noticed Bella staring up at her, sucking her thumb and barely daring to breathe.
"Wei scawy," the girl mumbled, her eyes wide, "why Wei angwy?"
Smoothing her brow, Rei replied, "I am not angry."
Bella continued staring at her for a moment in silence, as if trying to decide if she was safe to look away. Finally, she let out a soft sigh and turned back to face the television.
Scary… Rei thought with mild amusement, I cannot imagine being… scary.
She regarded the little girl closely as an idle thought suddenly became a concern.
Rei had always been good at containing her emotions. It was something that her commanding officer had trained and drilled her on for as long as she could remember, so she was quite practiced at it… but since Bella's arrival, Rei had noticed a subtle shift in her ability to maintain her calm, especially in the little girl's presence. It seemed to her that somehow, Bella affected her judgment. Normally, she was able to shrug off any hint that something outside of her sphere of influence could affect her in any way.
After all, what good was controlling your emotions if you let something get to you?
This, however, was different. It is as if I somehow… know her, she mused, absently taking another cracker, what an absurd idea.
She shook her head, closing her eyes and taking in a deep, calming breath.
It is temporary, she told herself, unsure if this pleased her or not, upon Ikari's return home, I will not be allowed to-
Rei's train of thought was interrupted as she felt Bella abruptly turn on the couch and embrace her. Opening her eyes, she asked, "Is something wrong?"
Bella simply smiled up at her.
"Wuv you Rei."
For a moment… Rei could not speak.
Has… anyone…?
Thought, it seemed, was difficult as well. All the First could do was sit and stare into the open, honest face of the toddler holding her with all of her strength – and no matter how she attacked it, Rei could not recall any time in her past where anyone had ever spoken those words to her.
She opened her mouth.
"Th-thank… you…"
"Wehcome."
As the girl turned her attention back to the TV, Rei instinctively reached out, her hand hovering an inch above Bella's head before slowly sinking back to the couch.
Averting her eyes, painfully aware that she had also spoken words she had never used (though not as powerful as the ones the toddler had uttered), Rei slowly drew in another deep, calming breath.
It is… not my place…
For a long, long time, the only sounds in the apartment were the happy laughter of a delighted child… and the uneven breathing of a young woman whose certainty about her position in life had just taken a very serious hit.
Continued…
Author's notes: nothing comes to mind.
2 is not being pre-read.
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377yahoo.com
