dont own YYH

sorry for the long wait! but here it is, chapter 56!


Chapt. 56

Among the Living

"These wounds can't be healed!" I snarl, glaring at Yusuke. "Even if he were to return to me, I would always carry these scars. You can't just act like it never happened!"

"That's not what I meant. I never said that the scars would go away, just that they might stop bleeding. And he can come back, he just needs your help," Yusuke argues, hoping that I would understand.

"Can't you hear him breathing?" Kuwabara questions me, looking at Hiei. "Can't you hear his heart beat?"

"Yes, I can hear him breathe and his heart beat! But if he wanted to live, he shouldn't have killed himself in the first place!" I scream, infuriated by their lack of understanding. "I take lives now, I don't bring them back."

"And yet, you kept us from death," Kurama says, sitting on the chair behind Koenma's desk.

"I am death!"

"Really? Then why did you keep us alive when you could've easily slain us? Why did you keep us from your clutches?" he continues.

I stop. Honestly, I didn't know why. It was just a familiar thing for me, a habit I couldn't break. Why didn't I kill them like all the others? Did I do it out of grief for Hiei? No. I don't know why I let them live, why I kept them from dying, but it wasn't out of grief.

"And what about that village? The one you spared; the only one you visited and didn't slaughter all its people."

I knew the answer for that one.

"Because the young woman there had a beautiful voice. It made the people happy and they danced. They lived in peace. And that woman, the one with the magnificent voice, she asked if I was ok. She didn't know what I had done. And if she did, she didn't care. I didn't want to kill them," I answer, looking into his emerald eyes.

"Koenma-sama, I have the – oh! Oh, my!"

I turn sharply to the door. There, with a folder of various papers, stood the ferry girl. Her hair was still blue and tied up in a high ponytail, but it was more curly. Pink eyes sparkle and flash with happiness and sadness, the strange combination of remembrance. The familiar pink kimono had been replaced with a purplish-blue one. Guide to the River Styx, Botan.

"Darkfire!" she cries, dropping the folder and rushing up to me. Her arms wrap about my neck in a warm embrace, one that I wished to take part in but feared to. "I've missed you so much!"

"I can only imagine," I answer softly.

She steps back to get a good look at me. But she stops at my feet before looking back at me. "What happened to your feet?"

For the first time, I, too, look at my feet. They had been bandaged securely, blood slightly seeping through the gauze.

"Well, for two years I didn't wear any shoes. With such conditions, my feet became accustomed to the rough terrain. I guess they don't care much for the carpet," I explain nonchalantly.

She nods and looks back at the folder she had dropped. As though she just remembered something important, she rushes over and picks up the papers. Laying them carefully on the desk, she eyes Hiei. Bowing, she quickly disappears from the room.

"So, what's your choice: leave him to die or bring him back?" Koenma asks, looking straight into my eyes. I knew what they wanted me to say, but I didn't know what I wanted to say. Could Hiei ever forgive me? Could he ever look at me the same if I brought him back? I brush my fingers over my left eye, feeling the scar.

Did I want to be hurt again?

"Well?" Kurama presses, leaning back in the chair slightly.

Making up my mind, I sit down beside Hiei's body. With my eyes closed and turned to the ground, I pull up a shield so that nobody outside could see us.

"Hiei," I whisper softly, "I will always remember the day you left and the day you came home." I pause and lean close to him, waiting. "And now, you will once again live among the living." My lips touch his and an amazing surge of energy bounces back and forth between us. At first, it was just like being shocked by little shocks. Then, it was like being struck by lightning. This was a new pain for me. Screaming, I fly back into the oak doors. I fall to the floor and lay there quietly, waiting for my head to stop spinning.


"It's good to see you again," the voice whispers. It was a rhythmic rolling of the tongue that mimicked the smooth rolling of water over rocks. A well recognized voice with a slightly older tone. I knew this person, but his scent is what gave him away.

"Hiei," I whisper, smiling. My eyes remain closed, not wanting to see the look on his face. Especially when I told him this next thing. "I told her, Hiei," I say, my mouth becoming a rigid line. "I told her because she needed to know."

A long silence follows. I'm not sure for how long, but it was long enough. I listened to his breathing, a faint, periodic sound that wasn't tainted with anger or sadness. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. My fingers were laced with satin rods that gripped my hand lightly.

"I told you, begged you, not to kill any more," Hiei began after a time. "And, yet, you still did. Why?"

"I don't know," I answer. A lie. I sit up and remove my hand from the satin rods, realizing that they were Hiei's fingers. Standing, I turn and face Hiei, who was sitting on the couch. "I just don't know."

"How could you not know? You killed all those people. Thousands of innocents!" he objects, standing as well. No longer was he short, but instead as tall as I. Even the dead can grow.

"Since when do you care about the lives of others?"

He had no answer for me. Taken aback by my answer, he falls back onto the couch. How do I answer this? That is what he was probably thinking. I wait patiently to see how he was going to answer.

"Ever since I met you," he says slowly, remembering how we met. "Ever since you threatened your life for mine. That's when I started to care."

A light mewing sounds. I try to peer around Hiei's back, but he turns so I can't see. Trying the other side, I get the same result. With a smirk on my face, I use my enhanced telekinesis to bring up the thing behind him. I cradle the small kitten in my arms. Its eyes were a piercing moon-blue and its fur was as black as the shadows I hid in. On its forehead, there was a blood colored starburst that began on the sides of its nose.

"And who's this?" I ask Hiei, stroking the kitten's head.

"My Spirit Beast," he answers under his breath, casting a sidelong glance at the floor.