Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion – Studio Gainax does. If they have a problem with me writing this non-profit fan-fiction, I will gladly remove it from the web.
1
1
By Random1377
Rei stared up at the ceiling of Shinji's small bedroom, trying to piece together the confusing events that had led her to be there. Since she had no active Unit, she had been in her apartment minding her own business – which, as usual, involved sitting on her bed and pondering her existence – when the phone rang. Captain Katsuragi had been most insistent, Rei recalled, that she needed someone to watch Bella for the evening, and that the Commander had already okayed it.
For some reason, Rei doubted the truth of this statement, but she had still made her way over to the apartment, where the captain was desperately trying to calm the little girl down. What, exactly, the problem was, Rei never got a chance to ask – because after taking one look at her, Bella had flung herself into Rei's arms, babbling at near supersonic speed about how Hikawi had swapped huo, and how Hikawi was bat.
It made a lot more sense when Captain Katsuragi explained it, using weary, abrupt words as she grabbed herself a beer and upended it, barely pausing to breathe as she reached for a second can.
"So you see," the older woman had concluded, wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her shirt, "You're the only one I could turn to, and until we find a way to actually KILL the angel, no one's going to have time for her. I really appreciate this, Rei."
Now, with Bella dozing peacefully at her side, Rei could not help but wonder why she was not being considered as part of the overall defense strategy. Yes, Unit 00 was incapacitated currently, but shouldn't she be on tap as a backup at least? She did not bear Misato any ill will, or anything like that – nor did she even mind watching Bella all that much… but in her opinion, a woman that did account for every possible combat scenario – including the need for a seasoned secondary pilot – should not be given control over every aspect of NERV's combat and defense forces.
If a combat situation grew too daunting, would she turn command over to someone else? Rei mused. She has proven herself capable so far, but…
She let the thought trail off, focusing instead on her surroundings. Though Shinji's room was dark, Rei had taken the time to memorize the locations of the furniture – primarily in case Bella needed to use the washroom in the middle of the night. It would, she reasoned, be most unseemly to have to explain to Commander Ikari that she had broken her arm tripping over a desk chair while escorting a homeless waif of a child to the toilet.
It would be doubly damning, considering the fact that the last order she had received directly from the Commander was to avoid contact with Bella.
So why am I here? she wondered, shifting unconsciously as Bella burrowed closer to her side. Commander Ikari did not issue the order… and I suspect that Captain Katsuragi has not spoken to him on the subject – so why did I agree to stay here?
Having no satisfactory answer to this question troubled the First.
She closed her eyes, inhaling the soft, warm smell of the Third's room – all paper and faintly musky personal odor. It was not a bad smell, per se, but it was definitely Ikari's… a distinctive aroma that immediately brought the boy's hesitant smile and self-conscious speech patterns to mind. It was… comforting, somehow, a fact that did not escape Rei's constant analysis. The entire Bella situation was decidedly complicated, yet somehow, Rei held absolutely no doubts that Shinji would find a solution.
Strange, she thought, glancing at the clock, I should not be so confident in a person with a proven history of running away from his problems. Perhaps this is his way of showing that he is capable of handling-
She cut the thought off as she heard a soft, "Shh… they're still sleeping."
Frowning, Rei sat up in bed, absently patting Bella on the arm as the girl stirred and murmured a protest at the change in position. …Captain Katsuragi.
"I'm sorry," she heard Shinji's hushed voice reply; "I guess I'll just lie on the couch."
Rei slowed her breathing, concentrating her listening on the voices just outside the door.
"It's over, isn't it?"
"Yeah… it's too much for her, Misato."
"…what about the girl?"
Shinji hesitated. "Hikari said she wouldn't officially file until we find a permanent place for Bella, but…"
"But?"
"…but she can't stay here anymore."
There was a long, deep sigh. "I think that's for the best. Did you see the size of the bruise on that kid's cheek? It looks like she got punched."
Shinji's voice was soft was he replied, "She didn't mean to do it, Misato… she was scared, and-"
Misato must have gestured him into silence, as he cut himself off rather abruptly. "I don't care why she did it," she said icily, "it won't happen again, Shinji – do you understand? Even if she didn't WANT to leave, I'd make her. I won't see that child hurt any more."
"…yeah."
There was a long, awkward pause, broken when Misato finally whispered, "Shinji…?"
"Hmm?"
"Did you… did you sleep with Hikari?"
"I…"
Misato waited several heartbeats to see if Shinji would answer before saying, "It's a stressful situation, Shinji… human comfort WOULD be the most logical thing for a person to look for, and I hate to say it, but Hikari looked an awful lot like she was looking for something to help her forget what happened. Were you that help, Shinji…?"
Rei slid quickly out of bed, easing her way closer to the door and straining her ears in a vain attempt to pick up Shinji's reply… but he was speaking too quietly for her to make it out.
"So that's it, then," Misato murmured a moment later, "the stage is only as good as the actors, Shinji… and our lead just bowed out. It's just a matter of time before officer Kokobungi starts noticing that your 'wife' isn't living here anymore. The man has a lot on his plate, but he's pretty damn sharp. What will you say when he calls to check up on you and Hikari, or drops by to see how things are going?"
Shinji sounded very tired as he answered, "Lie, I guess… stall him. Say Hikari's out shopping if he comes by… say she's taking a bath if he calls… I don't know…"
Rei pursed her lips as Misato considered this. Those options are only temporary, Ikari… she thought grimly, and eventually, your ruse will be uncovered.
As if echoing her thoughts, Misato whispered, "That's a stopgap and you know it, Shinji. How long do you think it will last?"
Pressing her ear to the door, Rei barely heard Shinji murmur, "Couple weeks… month or two, maybe. Hopefully… hopefully they'll find a home for her by then."
"And if they don't?"
"I don't know… I just don't know…"
"Look," Misato's voice sounded very tired, "I know this is hard… but do your best not to think about this right now, ok? Until the angel's defeated for good, I need you at a hundred percent. I'm heading back into headquarters in a little while to brainstorm. You stay and get some rest."
"I understand."
Rei nearly jumped out of her skin as a groggy, "Rei…?" sounded behind her.
She turned to face the bed at almost the exact second Shinji's door slid open. "Oh!" Shinji exclaimed, blinking in surprise as he found the First standing less than a foot from him. "Ayanami, I… I thought you were asleep."
Averting her eyes, Rei murmured, "My apologies… I did not mean to startle you."
"You heard, then?"
"…yes."
Misato cleared her throat. "I'm heading out… get some rest, if you can, Shinji. Rei, you'll have to stay the rest of the night, I'm going the other way."
"I can take the train," Rei said evenly, "I should return home."
"Suit yourself."
As the Captain bowed her exit, Shinji leaned against the doorframe. "Was she ok for you?" he asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I don't know why I'm asking… she's always ok for you."
Rei glanced down at Bella, who was making her way blearily over to her side. "She was fine," the First said, allowing the child to take her hand, "though she did complain that she does not like broccoli."
A faint smile lit Shinji's face. "You made her eat it, right?"
"Of course. It is a nutritional requirement."
"You'll be a great mother someday, Ayanami…"
Staring down at the floor, Rei murmured, "You are… embarrassing me."
Silence fell as the two Children both turned their attention to Bella.
"Gotta poddy."
Shinji blinked as the girl abruptly turned away and slouched down the hall towards the bathroom. "I'll go," he said lightly, "you can-"
"It is not necessary," Rei interrupted.
"Huh?"
Rei watched the girl slip into the bathroom. "She does not need anyone to accompany her anymore," she explained quietly. "We discussed it after dinner, and she agreed that she is old enough to handle it alone."
"Just like that, huh?" Shinji laughed. "I've been trying to get her to go alone for days. How did you manage it?"
Shrugging minutely, Rei whispered, "I asked her."
"…oh."
"Ikari."
"Hmm?"
"Will you explain something to me?"
Unnerved by the girl's unwavering stare, Shinji said, "Er, I'll try. What is it?"
"Why do you not insist that Misses Ikari remain with you?" Rei asked calmly, deliberately using Hikari's married name. "She understands the repercussions of her departure, does she not?"
"Y-yeah," Shinji said uncertainly, "I'm sure she does."
"Then why do you not remind her of her obligations?"
Shinji chuckled weakly. "It's not that simple," he said gently, shaking his head for emphasis. "Hikari… went through a lot with Bella today. She's not a pilot like one of us, Ayanami, she's just a regular girl – she doesn't have any training, she's never had anyone teach her how to keep from panicking. She's just… normal."
"You are normal," Rei said flatly. "You are still-"
"I can't MAKE her want to be married to me," Shinji cut in softly. "It was selfish of me to ask her to do this in the first place – I don't have the right to make her stay with it when she's so scared. Tonight…" he swallowed hard, averting his eyes, "tonight I saw just how terrified she really is, Ayanami. I can't make her do this anymore. Bella… I don't know what will happen to Bella, but Hikari's done all she can." He shook his head ruefully. "The one time I don't run away and it doesn't even matter."
Rei nodded, opening her hand almost unconsciously as Bella returned and silently slipped her fingers into it. Looking from one Child to the other, Bella slowly slid her thumb into her mouth.
"I finally figured out why she does that, you know," Shinji mused, "Sucking her thumb I mean."
"Oh?" Rei asked mildly.
"Yeah," Shinji shrugged, patting the little girl on the head. "She only does it when she's really happy… or really scared…"
Rei thought back on the few times she had seen the girl suck her thumb. "That sounds correct," she agreed, glancing down at Bella. "You do not have to be scared."
Bella pulled her thumb out of her mouth. "Hikawi es weeving," she said quietly, gazing up at Rei unblinkingly. "Rei weeving too?"
Shinji looked away, blinking quickly as Rei replied, "Yes. I do not live here."
The little girl tilted her head to the side. "Hikawi es weeving," she repeated, "Rei can wive heoh now."
"That's enough, honey," Shinji said softly, keeping his eyes averted, "Rei… has her own house. She doesn't want to live here, ok?"
Bella stuck her thumb back into her mouth, making her difficult to understand speech pattern nearly incomprehensible. "Won Wei t' tay."
Shinji grimaced. "She can't," he said softly, "I'm sorry. Now come on, let's get you back to bed… it's late."
Rei stood very still as Bella slowly turned her head, looking up at her with damp, pleading eyes. "Pwease…?"
"She can't," Shinji said, exasperation plain in his voice as he knelt in front of the girl and put his hands on her shoulders. "Bella, I know you want her to… but she just can't."
Bella's chest hitched, and before Shinji could say another word, the girl burst into tears. "W-want… R-rei!!" she sobbed, rubbing her eyes with her fists as Shinji sighed tiredly. "W-ant… Rei… STAYY!!!!"
"No."
At this simple statement, the volume of Bella's screams intensified a hundredfold. She shook her head from side to side and wailed that she wanted Rei to stay, stay, stay… but Shinji just took her by the arm and began pulling her back into the bedroom.
"I'm sorry, Ayanami," he said, entirely flustered, "can you let yourself out? She's… just a little shaken up, that's all…"
Confused by the odd tugging feeling in her chest, Rei simply nodded and turned away, making her way out of the apartment at a slow pace and standing outside long after Bella's cries had faded away to silence.
- - - - -
Darkness greeted Rei as she pushed the door to her apartment open… but it was not the comforting stillness she had experienced in Shinji's room. This was stifling, dangerous, and more poignant – as if it could swallow her up at any time. Tensing slightly, Rei breathed in, familiar smells assailing her as she realized she was not alone.
"Good evening… Commander."
"Rei," a smooth voice rumbled out of the darkness, "come in. Close the door."
"Yes sir."
Rei did as she was told, plunging her apartment into near blackness as she kicked her shoes off and stepped inside. The commander was sitting in her apartment's single, metal folding chair, his legs crossed as he stared at her in the gloom. He had positioned himself, Rei noticed, so that none of the light from her apartment's small, grimy window hit him.
A puppeteer, she thought suddenly, pulling the strings from the shadows.
"You were at Captain Katsuragi's apartment."
It was not a question.
"Yes sir," Rei nodded, unconsciously straightening her back, "she informed me that you-"
"I am well aware of what she told you, Rei," the Commander cut in calmly, "as you are aware that she was lying."
"…yes, sir."
"Under the circumstances," the man said evenly, "your actions are… forgivable."
Rei gave another nod. "Yes, sir."
Silence reigned as Gendou stared at her, his tinted glasses barely refracting any light as he pushed the frames higher on the bridge of his nose.
"This girl," he said finally, his tone wintry and brittle, "she has proven to be a far greater distraction than initially anticipated. Two of my Children, and my director of operations, go out of their way to ensure that SHE is the one comforted… when the fate of our entire species hangs in the balance. A little… selfish, wouldn't you agree?"
Resisting the urge to try reading the man's expression, Rei gave the only reply she could.
"Yes… sir."
"Mm."
Another, more painful silence stole over the room as the commander contemplated the First Child. So obedient, he thought, she was so obedient most of the time – but on this, she sought to defy him… oh, subtly, definitely subtly, but defying him all the same. Then there was that stupid tramp Katsuragi. Such a fine tactical mind residing in such a stupid, silly, easily swayed floozy.
It was almost a crime.
"I have new orders for you, Rei," the Commander said, smoothly rising to his feet and stepping past her. "You are to assist Captain Katsuragi in any way possible with her preparations for the battle with this angel. If she wants you to stay in her apartment to allow the Third Child time away from his…" the man's mouth all but writhed around the word, like a snake choking on an egg too large for its throat, "child, so be it – as long as it is productive in the destruction of the angels."
"I understand," Rei said quietly.
"Do you?" the Commander said softly, "I wonder."
Rei blinked, confused by the odd tone in the man's voice. "Sir?"
"Our primary mission parameters are what, Rei?"
"Destroy the angels," Rei recited immediately, "ensure the safety of our species, and pave the way for the ascension of all Mankind."
The Commander's breath tickled her ear as he leaned closer to her and whispered, "And obstacles standing in the way of those goals should be removed, yes?"
"Yes, sir," Rei said hesitantly, "as you say."
Gendou turned away from her. "Keep doing your best, Rei," he said coolly, "arrangements are being made to rectify this… untenable situation."
Frowning faintly, Rei said, "Rectify, Commander? I do not und-"
"Arrangements," the commander cut in flatly, "…are being made."
Without another word, he strode from the apartment, leaving Rei alone with her thoughts.
Continued…
Author's notes: I know it's been a while since I've updated this story… but then again, it's been a while since I've updated ANY story, so it shouldn't be all that surprising. I will try to return to a more regular release schedule and get this, and all of my other incomplete stories, finished.
1 is not being pre-read.
Feedback is always welcome on any site with reviewing capabilities, or by e-mailing random1377(at-sign)yahoo(dot)com.
