dont own YYH
Wow...this is chapter 60. I thought this would be a short story, but it has turned into a long epic. I just wanted to thank all of you that have stayed with me through this. Wolf of the Frozen Flame, your words of encouragement have meant so much to me since day one. And your stories are amazing. KuramaIsFine and Ebbster, I also want to thank you guys for stickin' with me and givin' me advice and words of encouragement every step of the way. Princess Kandra, IntoTheWalkingDawn, Dreamstar22, psychopyro16, sillylittlenothing, Rahenne, Asilin Kheldarson, Blck-Rose-Tsuki, Kyte, Baka Hanyou Rahvin, Osadyro, Animefreak11, Neko-Tama, and many others, thank you for all your reviews!
Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for...
Chapter 60!
Chapt. 60
Everything I Once Knew
"Kill."
"Run."
"Save."
"Listen."
"Love."
"Help!"
My body jolts into a sitting position as an automatic response. Cold sweat dripped off my nose and onto my shaking hands. So many voices telling me to do so many things. Kill what? Run where and from what? Save what? Listen to whom? Love whom? Help what and where? Questions I knew the answers to, but had no desire to. Kill Tanashi. Run to my people from the home I know. Save my people. Listen to the advice I'm given. Love Hiei. Help my people in the Makai.
Where was I? I remembered falling asleep at the kitchen table, but I was now in a fluffy bed. The room was dark and unfamiliar. The only scent was my own, discarding the smell of human cleaning products. There was nothing in the room, save the bed, a small dresser, and three weapons on the wall: a katana, a wakizachi, and a tanto. On the north wall there was a door that led to the outside and on the west wall was an open door that revealed a bathroom. Since I was on the south wall that left the east wall, which harbored a wide window with dark curtains. As I slid out of the bed, I noticed that I was wearing a white tank top, several bandages, and large pajama pants. Instinctively, I walk to the window and pull back the curtains. A bright sun greeted me, as did a warm window seat. I sit down and look out the window. Below was a large forest that seemed to stretch for miles and miles with little patches of clearing. The tops waved to me in the gentle breeze that I could hear blowing outside.
"If only the welcome was mutual," I sigh, leaning my back on the window. From the light that was being let in, I could see that the walls were painted a deep red with a black trim along the bottom. The carpet was either black or a deep purple or blue. But the only life in the room was my own, and that was a poor excuse.
Soon, there was a small knock on the door. My eyes shift to stare at it, but I say nothing. The handle turns and the door swings open slowly and silently. A cloaked figure steps in, but it had no scent. Not even the smell of blood. It only had a purplish aura leaping gently from its body. I did not move, only sharpen my gaze upon the creature.
"Has it really been so long that you do not remember me?" it asks, clearly a female. "Are my form and aura not familiar to you anymore?"
"Were they ever?" I ask her, baring my teeth slightly. My tail bushed out and became rigid.
"They should have been," she replies, pulling down her hood. Black hair with blood tips. She turns her face to look at me. Deep purple eyes. A black cloak with a red interior. A short black dress with high white boots. Even though I could not see them, I knew there was at least one dagger in each of the boots.
"Your appearance is far more familiar, Osadyro," I smirk, closing my eyes in satisfactory. Suddenly I feel sharp fangs resting on my neck.
"I should kill you," she hisses, drawing a long, thin line threateningly down my neck. "You left me behind. You killed innocent people. You became the creature you swore to me you would never become." She backs away and glares at me.
"Then kill me. I'm sure the families that had loved ones there would appreciate it. I sure as Hell wouldn't care." Her hand flies up and across my face. My eyes open wide with shock.
"How dare you! I searched for you those two long years so that I could bring you home, and maybe, just maybe, our life could've gone back to normal. I never intended to bring you home just to punish you for your crimes. Why? Because I didn't care! I just wanted my friend back."
Just when I felt like I had been dealt enough lecture by Yukina, she comes in here and doles out more. What more did they want from me? To go back to normal and act as though nothing happened?
"Maybe it could've…if I was a heartless bitch!" I growl, glaring up at Osadyro.
"You weren't, but now I'm not so sure. You look at those slaughters as a dreamland you can escape to when the going gets tough. Do you even remember how to cry?"
I shrink away slightly, knowing she spoke the truth. She was one of the only people who could see through me like this. Did I know how to cry anymore?
"Darkfire knew how to cry. I don't know why I looked for you. You aren't Darkfire anymore. You've become the Ghost from the nightmares of foolish humans and demons. But I can't give up. When Darkfire comes back, have her look me up." With that, she exists. Reality smacks me a few times as the door clicks shut. Had I really changed that much?
The door opens again, this time allowing Hiei to step through. He walks up to me and holds out a large band aid. I glare at it.
"Just take the damn thing and put it on," he commands. I do so reluctantly. After, I glare up at him, as if to ask, 'Are you satisfied?'
"Yes," he answers and sits down beside me. I scoot away and lean against the wall, escaping his arms.
I would never love again.
Never him.
"You aren't as I remember," Hiei says after a bit, staring into the lighted dark.
"A lot of things have changed, why should I stay the same for you?"
"I never said you had to stay the same. I merely stated that you aren't as I remembered you to be." The jagan beneath his bandana glowed lightly for a moment, a flash of light in a split second, really.
"You can't get in here, you know."
"And yet I can," he says slowly, looking at me with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips. He was only greeted with a death glare. But he just continues to smirk, mocking me, I suppose.
I turn away from him.
"I never meant to leave, you know. And I never meant to cause you pain. But I did. I hurt you really bad. I just thought I had nothing left to live for when I thought you were dead. It felt like my whole life was torn away."
"You don't have the faintest idea! I came back and found out you were gone. That you took your own life because of me. It felt like I had murdered you with my own hands. When I saw you there, everything was gone. You took my heart away…and you haven't brought it back.
"You had everything to live for here. Yukina still needed you. Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, everybody was still here for you! If you had just waited, mourned a little longer, I would have come back. But even if I had died, you really think I would have wanted you to follow me? You're a fool. A selfish fool."
His face holds no emotion. Not even his eyes show pain or hatred. Just as I think that I have won, I find myself in his arms. I struggle violently to break free, but he just holds tighter. Soon I begin to panic. I didn't like being in a cage.
"Darkfire, settle down. You aren't in any danger," Hiei tries to soothe. My eyes widen and my body shakes with fear. My breathing becomes rigid and my tail whips around fiercely. The more I struggle the tighter he holds, the tighter he holds the more frightened I become.
"Settle down and listen to me. Osorurunakare, Darkfire, I just want to talk." I freeze. The way he spoke, the way the words rolled off his tongue, made me want to believe him. The urge was so strong that I did believe him. Soon I felt like Jell-O; a blob in his arms. He loosens his grip and holds me comfortingly.
"When Botan told me you were alive, I cried. Yes, I cried. Botan couldn't believe what she saw. She didn't know whether to comfort me or turn a blind eye. But despite her confusion, she touched my shoulder. It was at that moment that I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. That simple touch of kindness reminded me of you and what I had done. I had jumped to conclusions without even giving a thought about the people that cared for me. Never did I think about what you would've said if you saw me there. But it hit me then that you would've scorned me for the rest of forever." He pauses and looks down at me.
"You're probably right," I whisper, staring at the air. His hand touches my cheek and tilts my face up to look at his. My vision remains unfocused and blurred.
"She brought me back so that you would be happy. Koenma and Botan did it without Enma's permission. I want you to be happy, like you were before. Darkfire, will you look at me?" He stroked my cheek gently with his thumb. It was a touch I had missed very much. Things came into focus, but he remained a blurred memory.
"I want to, but I cannot. You are still a memory to me. A memory that's fading fast."
"What would refresh it?" Tears flowed to my eyes, but I would not let them fall. What would bring him back to me? Could he be brought back? Did I want him back?
"I…don't know." It was a hesitant response, but the truth. "But I need your help. In one month, panther demons, led by Tanashi, will attack my pack. I am no leader, and I cannot lead them to their deaths alone. Will you help me?"
He gives a short nod, a small smile playing on his lips. Closing my eyes, a tear slips down my cheek. A finger wipes it away.
"Don't cry, it makes me sad," Hiei whispers in my ear. His silken lips brush against my cheek, whispering: "Please forgive me."
I touch his face and look into pools of blood. They were cold, but gentle. "I forgave you the moment I saw you," I whisper, kissing his lips. He holds me so tight and so close I become lost in him. Everything melted away from us and his memory came back. Everything went back to the way it was. Our souls became one and at peace once again.
The love we once shared was rekindled.
I suppose I lied.
Maybe I could love him again.
Osorurunakare: Be not afraid (a.k.a.: Don't be afraid)
The Japanese are so polite . Oh yeah, that reminds me! I'm taking Japanese next year! So if I start using more Japanese words...well, you'll know why.
