CHAPTER 2 Summary: Akira's thoughts after joining Kyo to go to the Mibu territory to destroy the curse cast on Yuya. Takes place before they enter the gates of hell. WARNING - Spoilers up to Volume 14 of SDK MANGA.

CHAPTER 2 RATING: PG

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Samurai Deeper Kyo anime, manga or any of its characters. Kamijyo Akimine is the true legal and spiritual owner.

This chapter is dedicated to those who provided the kind feedbacks and SDK Volumes 10-14 which inspired me to further ponder upon the enigmatic figure that is Akira.


I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU

By: Nekozuki1776

Chapter 2

He is not in the best of moods.

He's emanating with downright anger and irritation. Even more so than usual.

And who can blame him?

Frankly, my mood isn't so great either.

Everyone is taking a moment to regroup and gather their strength before passing through the gates of hell to the ultimate destination of the Mibu domicile.

What I really want to do now is not rest but to run recklessly through those gates.

A distinct sound of painful breathing grabs me from my thoughts as I turn to its source.

It's you.

The reason why we need to regroup.

To care for your sickened state.

And for this reason I refuse to wait a second more.

But I remind myself that this is necessary because you require medicine and a moment to calm the fever you have been running ever since those witch Mibu warriors, Saishi and Saisei left you with that horrible parting gift.

The gift of only twelve more hours to live.

So I bite down my impatience and allow my mind to wander. . .

Hard to believe it's been barely two months.

It feels like years since the last time I saw you.

The answer you gave me to my offer was not unexpected. I was sad but not disappointed. You have a very determined spirit. Sometimes a bit too determined for your own good, but I suppose that might be necessary with the company you keep.

What saddened me was the unhappiness that was to follow by the decision you made to stand by him.

And I worried about you.

I realize this is hard to fathom. The non-feeling manipulator of ice showing a human side. Contrary to popular beliefs, I do experience a few of the "softer" human emotions.

All one or two of them.

The rest are under lock and key behind my steely cold veneer.

Trust me, it's much more convenient this way.

I was worried when you were under the spell in Yomotsu Hirasaka. All who are taken to that deceptively beautiful flower field are forced to relive painful memories of their pasts.

It was torture to witness you reliving the horrific tragedy that still haunts you to this day. Oftentimes, when victims are left in this place, there is usually no one to revive them back to the present. Some in fact become trapped forever and die due to their anguish and confusion.

For the second time in a few months, I stepped out of my normally poised indifference to comfort you out of your nightmare.

I savored the moment when you were in my arms as I coaxed you back to reality; gently pulling you up to wake you and thus giving me a fleeting excuse to sense your close presence. I still remember how comfortable you felt in my arms and how you grasped on to me in glazed consciousness as if I was your lifeline.

When the other Jyunishinshi suspiciously observed my actions, I calmly retorted that the "plan" would have been futile if the valued hostage was reduced to a mentally vegetated state. Everyone shrugged and agreed except for that obnoxiously astute Shindara. He even had the nerve to insinuate my involvement in Kubira's death.

Of course I killed that moronic puppet master. But no one, not even that invincible former ninja was supposed to know. So I coolly feigned my innocence and went on my way.

I knew the risks involved in waking and comforting you in front of them but I couldn't help it. You shouldn't have had to experience that all over again. I could tell that you were in intense pain. As if the psychological scar wasn't bad enough, it seems that you were inflicted with a physical one as well.

I was tempted to ask you on several occasions about that night of your brother's death. But I knew it was an experience you carry privately in your heart so I stopped myself.

I hope that someday, you'll trust me enough to share your thoughts with me.

And it makes me think again.

What is this strong need that I have to gain your trust?

It's quite disturbing what you do to my sense of balance. Even in my thoughts. . .

I believe that you have a similar effect on many of those around you.

You are indeed the unknown power that hides in plain sight.

And you don't even realize it.

It caught me off-guard when you appeared in the midst of my battle at the Sea of Trees. It surprised me even more to see you accompanied by the two other Jyunishinshi that were meant to perish.

Once again, you pulled one of your obstinate acts and bled your hands silly breaking the two Jyunishinshi out of the ice prison I encased them in. I had meant only for you to escape but you refused to leave anyone behind. Even if they were your enemies.

When you returned alive and well contrary to what I had previously announced, you could have knocked him down with a feather.

That split second of absolute surprise.

None of us missed it.

Of course, he quickly returned back to his mask of indifference, but my "sight" caught that extra emotion.

The sense of relief that exuded from his aura.

Even with the supreme control over his emotions, he couldn't hide that from me. Especially when the aura is too overwhelming to control.

And believe me, it was out of control.

A part of me was angered by your interruption of our battle. A bigger part of me was relieved to see you come back. Because it was at that moment he started to unleash his fury. I don't know how much longer I could have kept him at bay if you hadn't showed up.

Just a small taste of his infuriating power.

It was mind blowing, frightening, and exciting—all at the same time. He was back to the same powerful samurai I used to know; and then some.

And this was right after his near fatal battle against Nobunaga. Even with Kyoshiro backing him up, he should have been knocked unconscious, maybe even dead. But he wasn't. He even overpowered his alter ego and forced his demon eyes self back out like there was no tomorrow.

It was at this moment of epiphany I realized my strategy had brought out more than I bargained for.

My divine plan, although effective in seemingly bringing the warrior back, also awakened an unknown side that I never thought existed.

And you are the cause of that unknown.

The more you are by his side, the stronger he becomes. More precisely, your unconditional belief in him and his abilities prevents his soul from deteriorating while occupying Kyoshiro's body.

You just might be the catalyst in keeping his humanity intact and provide the strength he needs to reclaim his body.

Oh kami-sama.

That's one powerful ability.

It's an ability more potent than any secret technique that Muramasa could have ever taught him.

And the ability that allows him to become all the more powerful.

Is this what happens when you fight in the name of someone you want to protect?

Unfortunately, with that power comes the emotions of dealing with a hot-tempered, money frugal, headstrong, kind-hearted, free-spirited of a woman that is you.

The emotions, I suspect, he has no inclination to experience or deal with during this time of chaos and uncertainty. He wants to remain focused. To keep his eyes on the prize and not be distracted.

Unfortunately, you're the valuable link and therefore a susceptible target. He tries to deny the need to have you around but he can't let you go.

So he acts under the pretense of demanding that his "servant" has no right to leave his master, and thus, obligate you to accompany him.

After all, he rationalizes, someone has to sponsor his sake-loving lifestyle, right?

But I believe that it is the thick layer of arrogance and pride that camouflages what an important part you've become in his life.

And I notice the subtle changes that support my theory in the way he treats you.

Rude but never violent. Indifferent but remotely concerned. Overtly perverted but never going beyond the point of no return.

And last but not least, promising you that he would "pay his debts".

The moment I heard of his pledge to save you, you could have knocked me down with a feather.

As a man of his word, he has never backed out on a promise.

A reason why he rarely makes them.

It's been a long time since a person has been able to affect him as you have.

Am I jealous?

And if I am, exactly with whom am I jealous of?

Of him who has gained your trust and loyalty,

Or with you who has been able to affect him so?

More prior than the latter but admittedly both nonetheless.

Ah, but I digress.

I know you're wondering why I decided to join your group.

I have a variety of reasons, two of them which I will tell you but there are a few others I will keep to myself for now. Maybe someday, I will be able to share them with you.

My first reason is to fight by his side once again and to become stronger in the process. Then, after returning him back to his old body, I want to fight him.

I want to fight the man that transformed into an even stronger, more formidable warrior than the one before. Not just the man who learned the ultimate techniques of the Mumyou Jinpuu-ryuu, but also the man who fights with a newfound conviction that he never had.

I was worried of the response I would receive after my stunt awhile back but he was more forgiving than I thought. I figured he might not accept me or challenge me to a fight. I wouldn't have blamed him. After all, I did try to kill him, lie to him and participated in the kidnapping of a woman who was fast becoming an important part in his life.

For what it's worth, he might have seen through my charade and knew what I was planning all along. Like a petulant child who wanted his brother back.

I had initially planned on approaching you once he completed his final training with Muramasa. But all my plans changed when I heard of what had happened to you.

The moment I found out what Shinrei did, I came out of my hiding.

Which brings me to my second reason of why I chose to fight by his side as a Shiseiten once again.

Damn that dirty low-life of a Mibu.

To stoop to the level of using you, an innocent bystander, to get to the man he wants to kill.

That was your first kiss, wasn't it?

If you can call what that heartless bastard did to you as a kiss.

How violated you must have felt, how you must be feeling now; to have that accursed water dragon forced inside you through that tainted kiss.

I warned you back then. I told you what would happen if you remained by his side, didn't I?

And again, you refused to acknowledge my warning. In fact, in response to my frustrated need to reiterate your forthcoming unhappiness, you restated your credo without any regrets.

Does the depth of your foolish stubbornness hold no bounds?

You're faring better now, less feverish, calmer, and breathing more steadily…

The medicine Bontenmaru administered seems to be taking the proper effect.

Thank goodness.

The medicine belongs to Kyoshiro, doesn't it?

Do you carry it for the sake of your injury prone companions or for another more personal reason?

I'd rather not entertain that thought right now.

What I want to do is to wish that you were never involved in this mess in the first place.

To take you back in time to the point when I initially asked you to come with me and use whatever means necessary to convince you so that I wouldn't have to witness the pain you're experiencing at this moment.

I know it's selfish of me. I'm just being honest.

And then I remind myself that wishes are for kids or for those who still believe in them.

I am neither.

Something tells me though, that you would never have been able to live with yourself if you had decided to play it safe and come with me.

But at least your life wouldn't be a mere 12 hours from its end. . .

Having a caged, yet a predictably safe life vs. living a life based on free will despite its tragic circumstances.

No matter how many chances you are given, you would undoubtedly choose the more challenging path.

I don't know whether to sigh in frustration or to chuckle fondly at your firm resolve.

But enough sentiment. Let me focus on the reality at hand.

To the evil source of your suffering.

Damn that Goyousei warrior to the depths of hell for trying to crush your heart, your soul, and your indefatigable spirit.

Shinrei will pay a thousand-fold for inflicting such a horrible curse on you.

You say that you're a burden, a heavy weight that drags the group down. But you're not. You're anything but. And from what I've observed, it is because of you that everyone—Benitora, Yukimura, Sasuke, and the others desire to become stronger.

It is in your name that they put aside each of their objectives and differences in respect for the common bond that brings them all together.

Including myself.

And him.

He endured the fatally dangerous training without a second thought.

I know that he boasts that Muramasa's training was all for the purpose of reclaiming his body and earning him the ultimate title of the "strongest".

But I know that it was also for you.

You try to hide your true emotions with a lighthearted bravado. I can tell by your tormented aura that you deny this honor because you're unworthy, that no one should sacrifice their goals, their dreams, their lives for one mere person.

Please don't do that. It tortures me when you feel this way.

Haven't you gotten through your stubborn demeanor that you're anything but a mere person?

I truly believe that fate has sent you to alliance us for the ultimate battle.

To prepare us for the biggest fight of our lives.

Fear not Yuya-san, for none of us will let you perish. I for one will do whatever is necessary to get that curse expelled from your body.

Even if it costs my life.

And I would never see it as a sacrifice.

Not if it means saving you.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A/N (9.29.04) – I have received inquiries asking if "SHE" in Chapter 1 was referring to Sakuya. The identity of "SHE" mentioned in Volume 10 of the manga was never revealed and thus I have kept it as such. I have an inkling it might be Sakuya but with so much of Kyo's past still unrevealed, it could be someone entirely different altogether.

On another note: Although this story encompasses the events that take place in the manga, most of Akira's thoughts and feelings that I portray are of my own making. I am simply interpreting Kamijyo-sensei's character in the way I choose to see him—which is what the spirit of fan fiction is all about, ne?

With that being said, I am convinced more than ever of the unique bond between Akira and Yuya. As friends, sibling-types, or a one-sided affection from the part of Akira, there is definitely something distinctive there. As I continue to read later volumes, I find myself further intrigued by the basis of their relationship.

Thank you to shadowcat15, Happster360, Alyson Metallium, Lady of Genesis, Lady Yuya Shiina, Arin Ross, mystlady, kawaii2, and Mewkimura for the reviews. –nekozuki