A/N: Here it is, the much anticipated "morning after" chap ... Enjoy and REVIEW! Rhianna XD
Chapter Eight
How You Remind Me
When he woke up, several hours later, he wasn't sure where he was. Frowning, he sat up and looked around the darkened cabin. A tiny giggle came from the other side of the room, and a light was flicked on.
"Hey, you," she said softly from her position in the overstuffed chair in the corner. "Sleep well?"
Grinning like a schoolboy and scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Uh, ya, I did," he said sheepishly, looking at her. Yevon, she was beautiful.
"I gathered that from the snoring," she teased lightly.
"Did you sleep?" he asked her, concerned, suddenly remembering what had led them here in the first place.
She smiled sadly. "A little. I had a lot of thinking to do, you know? And I usually think best late at night, when everyone else is sleeping." She shrugged and slid off the chair.
She was fully dressed, seemingly ready for the day. "What time is it?" he asked her.
"Almost seven," she told him.
"Seven? Seven in the morning? Why didn't you wake me up sooner, huh?" Wakka was wide-awake now.
She smiled at him. "You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb you," she said with a shrug.
"Well, c'mon," he urged her. "We have to go! We still have to find Yuna!" He bounded out of the bed. Rikku's eyes widened, and then she laughed.
She held out his clothes to him. "You might want these," she said with a grin.
Blushing furiously, he reached out and grabbed his pants from her. Once he was dressed, he began pushing her out the door. "Let's go, go, go!" he urged.
Rikku giggled and shook her head. "I'll go first, and make sure that the coast is clear. And then you can follow, in about ten minutes or so. We can't make it obvious."
Wakka paused. "What? Rikku, what's going on here?"
Rikku bit her lower lip and looked down. "Well, Wakka, it's just that – last night was fun, right?" Wakka nodded, uncertain where she was going. "So, let's just leave it at that, okay? I mean, I was in a bad place, and you helped me forget about it, you know? And it means a lot to me, it really does. But we don't need to tell everyone and make a big deal out of it, do we? It was just this one time, any way." She smiled at him hopefully. "You understand, don't you? We've got so much other stuff to deal with that we really don't need to complicate matters by telling everybody about last night, do we?" As she stood before him, her green eyes beseeching him, a small smile on her lips, he knew that he could deny her nothing.
"'Course I understand, Rikku," he said jovially, kissing her on the forehead in a very chaste manner.
And even though it was killing him, the bright smile she gave him made it all worthwhile.
"Oh, good!" she breathed. "I was so worried that things were gonna get weird! But I should have known better, I mean, it's you!" She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a sound, but platonic, kiss on the lips. "You're the best!" she said in sing-song as she bounded out of the room.
Wakka watched her go and sighed to himself once the door was shut. He felt as if the wind had completely been taken from his sails. He had thought that last night had been the beginning of something – something that he was excited about and ready to face, head-on. But there Rikku had been, telling him that it had been "this one time only" – and asking him to accept that! It was almost laughable, and he supposed he should have seen it coming. She was an Al Bhed, and they did things differently.
But he was a Yevonite. And what they had done last night – he took it very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that she had been his first, and that was because he thought there was potential for a real future with Rikku. How wrong he had been.
He felt like kicking himself for being so stupid. He had let blonde hair and golden skin and green eyes and long legs completely override everything that he knew and believed in his heart. His body had betrayed his heart, and yet, even as he thought that, he realized that he was even more dismayed about the fact that he couldn't have her again.
He, Wakka, who had been so devout for so long, had allowed himself to give into fleshly pleasure, and he had enjoyed it. Not just because it was sex, but because it was sex with Rikku. He wanted her, not just sex.
But there was more to it than that. Yes, he wanted her, and yes, she was damned beautiful, but she was also clever and witty and outrageous – she was the kind of person who lit up a room just by walking into it. She was Rikku of the bubbly laugh and the irrepressible charm. Rikku who could rob you blind in three seconds flat … Rikku who could steal your heart in less than that.
The realization hit him like a thunderbolt. "Dammit," he cursed under his breath as he let the gravity of the situation sink in.
He loved her.
Sitting in her cabin was driving him crazy, so he decided he would go back to his own cabin. He managed to figure out the keypad to open the door, all the while cursing the machina in his head, and stepped out into the empty hallway.
Or so he thought.
"Wakka." The gruff voice caused Wakka to flinch before turning around.
"Oh, hey, Sir Auron," he said casually.
"Isn't that Rikku's cabin?" Sir Auron asked, searching the younger man's face.
"Uh, well, yeah …" Wakka stammered, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this one. "I wanted to apologize about yesterday and all dat," he said lamely.
"I see," Auron said gravely. "Didn't you do that when you went up on deck yesterday evening?"
Damn, he'd forgotten that he'd passed Sir Auron in the hallway on his way to see Rikku. "Well, yeah, but I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, ya?"
"Rikku left a few minutes ago," Auron remarked. "I didn't see anyone leave your cabin."
"Uh …"
"Wakka, there comes a point when it is time to give up the charade," Auron said, a warning tone in his voice.
Wakka hung his head. "All right, all right," he said in defeat. "Whatever you're thinkin', you've probably got it right."
"I see," Auron said again, thoughtfully.
"But why does it matter to you?" Wakka challenged. "And what are you doin' lurkin' in the hallways anyway, huh?"
"I came to find you. Tidus and Lulu were concerned," Auron said simply. "And it would appear that Yuna is not the only one on this pilgrimage in need of a guardian."
"What's dat supposed to mean, huh?" Wakka said indignantly. "Not me!"
"No, of course not you," Auron said dryly, and clearly exasperated. He nodded his head in the direction of Rikku's cabin.
"Hey, you don't need to worry about Rikku," Wakka retorted. "I'm looking out for her."
"But who is looking out for you?" Auron questioned.
"I can look out for myself, ya?" Wakka said.
"So you would tell me now that you feel nothing for the girl?" Auron remarked suddenly.
"What?" Wakka asked, shocked.
"Wakka, you are a devout man, much as I was at your age. But you're still a man, and as such, there are certain things that even the most pious cannot ignore." Auron chuckled a bit. "Rikku seems to embody all of those things, and much more."
Wakka sighed. "You're right," he said in a quiet voice. "And it bothers me that she's an Al Bhed, and I feel bad that it bothers me, ya? How could it ever work? Especially since she told me that it didn't mean anything?"
Auron nodded. "I see. Wakka, Rikku may be a lot of things, but I don't think that she is one to so callously toy with other's emotions. Perhaps she does not feel worthy of you, because you have made it no secret how you feel about the Al Bhed. I'd wager she feels a great deal for you, Wakka."
Wakka snorted. "She was looking for comfort last night. It didn't matter from who."
"Strange that you would think that," Auron told him evenly. "But I was up on deck with her, before you, and she made no mention of anything of the sort to me."
Wakka stopped and looked at the legendary guardian.
"Girls like Rikku are rare indeed, Wakka. I can think of only one other. Give her time." Auron walked ahead, leaving Wakka alone with his thoughts.
Part TwoRikku bounded onto the airship's bridge and gave everyone a mega-watt grin. "Good morning!" she chirped.
"Why are you so cheerful?" Tidus grumbled.
Rikku shrugged. "I dunno. I just have a good feeling about today, that's all," she explained.
"Well, I'm glad that somebody does," Lulu told her, one eyebrow arched. "I take it you are feeling better than you were last night?"
Rikku nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry about all that, by the way," she told the mage. "It was just a lot to digest all at once. But I realize, like Pops said, machina can be rebuilt. There's no use dwelling on things that already happened. You only bring yourself down if you do that. I'm sad about it, but I still have a duty to do for Yuna, and that's what I'm going to focus on now." She walked over to where her father stood and began conversing with him in Al Bhed.
Lulu nodded. The younger girl's resolve was admirable. If only she could have been that together after Chappu died – maybe she wouldn't be where she was today.
"Hey, has anyone seen Wakka?" Tidus asked a few minutes later. "He just disappeared yesterday evening and I haven't seen him since."
Rikku felt her face heating up, and prayed that no one would address her directly.
"Rikku?" Tidus asked.
Tysh oui … "Uh, well, he came to see if I was all right, and to apologize about the firework comment, but after that, I don't know what he did. Maybe he was tired?" she suggested, her voice high and almost squeaky.
Tidus gave her a strange look, but shrugged. "Oh, well. I'm sure he's all right."
Lulu nodded her agreement. "You might not think it about him, but sometimes he does just like to be alone."
The bridge's door whooshed open, and Sir Auron walked in, followed closely by Wakka. "Oh, there you are!" Lulu said. "We were starting to worry!"
Wakka looked bemused, and he wouldn't meet Rikku's eyes. Rikku wondered if he was mad. Maybe he felt like last night had been a mistake, and that he had lowered himself by being with her. Blinking back tears that were threatening, she sighed.
Wakka was probably used to very devout and good Yevonite girls who thought sex was a highly sacred act, and who waited for him to make the first move. Not heathen Al Bhed girls who found nothing wrong with taking whatever pleasure you could get out of life, before life was over.
She didn't have time to think about it then, because Cid's voice cut into her mind like a jackhammer. "We found Yuna!" he cried out.
"Where is she?" Tidus asked eagerly.
"Bevelle," Cid replied. He yelled to Brother in Al Bhed. "Next stop, Bevelle!"
"How far is Bevelle?" Tidus asked Rikku.
Rikku consulted one of the airship's maps. "About two hours," she told him.
"Two hours?" Tidus exclaimed. "Do you realize what could happen in two hours?" He was upset, his voice was cracking with emotion, and Rikku thought she saw tears glistening in his eyes.
Sighing, she put her arm around his shoulders and held him close. "It's okay, Tidus, really," she said softly. "She'll be all right. We'll find her, and we'll take care of her." Poor guy, she thought to herself sadly. She wondered what it felt like to love someone so much, that your well-being was connected directly to theirs. She looked up from Tidus and her eyes met Wakka's from across the room.
Maybe I do know what it feels like, she thought to herself forlornly. Too bad I'm not good enough for him.
Wakka had these ideas about what a perfect world would be like – one without Sin, without machina, without loss. Rikku's entire life revolved around those things, no matter how cheerful and happy she might appear to be. She knew that she didn't belong in Wakka's world; there was no place for her there.
Well, at least she had the memory of last night to carry with her – the most perfect night of her imperfect life.
Part Three
Wakka watched her console Tidus, and he felt a pang – jealousy, maybe? But that was ridiculous. She was just being a good friend, just helping him out. It was what she did. If you were feeling sad, or down, or lonely, she was always the first one there to lift you back up.
At least, she was for him. He couldn't imagine making this journey without her. They would all be a jumbled mess of sadness and melancholy and bitterness. But she brought with her sweetness, optimism, and joy. She made bad things seem okay, turned scary things into jokes, and was an absolute darling.
No wonder he was in love with her. Too bad that very same vigor and zest for life would keep her from ever feeling the same toward him.
"Give her time," Sir Auron had said, but Wakka wasn't really sure what the older man had meant by that. How much time? And time for what, exactly?
Time wasn't something they had a lot of. The only guardian Wakka had ever heard of making it back from defeating Sin was Sir Auron himself – who knew what happened to the others? He could only assume they all perished.
He hoped that his story would have a resolution before time ran out.
Some time later, Cid announced that they were near Bevelle. "You all need to get up on deck," he told them.
"What for?" Wakka challenged.
"Seems we've been expected," was the only explanation Cid would give.
The group ran up the stairs.
"Whoa, what is that?" Tidus exclaimed, pointing out the window at a giant dragon-like creature.
"It's Bevelle's guardian, the great wyrm, Evrae," Lulu told him.
Sir Auron chuckled. "The red carpet has teeth."
Rikku's eyes widened as she looked at the group. "I guess we have no choice, huh?" Her eyes lingered on Wakka a bit longer than the rest, but no one seemed to notice. She tried not to let it bug her that Wakka hadn't spoken to her at all since she had left the cabin earlier that morning. Last night had changed things, and she guessed she was just going to have to accept that they okay, that she had made a mistake.
"You still have plenty of the potions from the desert, right?" Auron asked her. Without Yuna, the group found that they depended on Rikku a lot more for healing.
Rikku sat down on the floor and dug into her pack. "Yep! I've got tons," she said after a few minutes of digging. She held up one of the vials of green liquid as proof.
"Okay, then," Tidus said. "I guess that means we're ready."
"Ready as we're ever going to be, ya?" Wakka commented.
Rikku held out her hand so that he could help her up, but he apparently didn't see her, because he just walked right on by. Fighting back tears, she pushed herself up and followed the others up to the deck.
She hoped this fight would be over quickly, because her state of mind was not really battle-ready. Oh well, maybe this Evrae-thingy would just kill her, and then she wouldn't have to worry about whether or not Wakka was mad at her any more.
Whoever said love was a wonderful emotion was obviously not a little Al Bhed enamored of a devout Yevonite.
Kill me quick, Evrae … Kill me quick.
