A/N: Well, there are all kinds of shocks and revelations in this chapter, and lots of stuff is turning around ... Hopefully you guys like this and will bear with me through the next couple of chaps. I KNOW that this story will not disappoint ANYONE, if you just hang with me! Read and Review PLEEEEEEASE! Thnx! Rhianna :)
Chapter Thirteen
A Moment Like This
Mt. Gagazet loomed like a sentinel ahead of them. Rikku knew that it could take nearly two weeks to reach the summit, and then another several days for the descent into Zanarkand, the City of the Dead, but it didn't abate her fears. Time was running out. They'd be there soon, and nobody had any helpful ideas.
The breeze that had been practically balmy in the Calm Lands had turned into a chill, whistling wind as the party made their way up the incline. Shivering, Rikku shrugged herself into the coat that Sir Auron had given her, once again grateful for the gift.
Wakka noticed her putting on the cloak, and raised an eyebrow. "When did you buy a coat, huh?" he asked her, putting his arm across her shoulders easily.
She smiled up at him. "I – I didn't actually," she said with a shrug. "Sir Auron did."
"Sir Auron?" Wakka said incredulously. "Wow. Didn't think that guy had it in him, ya?"
"I guess people surprise you sometimes," Rikku told him, poking him playfully in the ribs. "Besides, what was I supposed to do? Count on you to keep me warm?"
"Well, it would be worth a shot," Wakka teased, wrapping his arms around her in a gentle hug.
"Aw, cut it out, you two!" Tidus griped from behind them. "Geez, can't you at least wait until we set up camp for the night?"
Yuna smiled sweetly. "Oh, I think it's lovely," she said softly. "It's nice to see them so happy."
"But must they be so happy in front of the rest of us?" Tidus asked dryly.
Lulu rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's enough. Honestly, haven't we had plenty of excitement for one day?"
Rikku looked down. Lulu was right, as usual. They had had quite a long day already. First, they had to gain the permission of Lord Kelk Ronso to even be allowed on the damn mountain, and then, Kimahri had had some old business to clear up with some of his clansmen.
Finally, though, they had begun their climb. "Ronso village around next turn. We rest there tonight," Kimahri stated a little while later. "No other villages on Gagazet. If not rest there, several hours hike to nearest shelter."
Auron nodded. "Fine, we rest in the village. It's getting late."
Rikku was only too happy to follow the party into the village. There was no Travel Agency in the village, but the Ronso had their own Inn, and that was where the group decided to stay for the night.
It was too early to try and sleep, so they all sat in the lobby and chatted about this and that … anything to keep their mind off of what was to come. Sir Auron had already informed them that the fiends on Gagazet were some of the strongest in Spira.
"It's because many summoners die up here, alone, with no one to send them," Lulu explained.
Rikku just nodded, eyes wide. "Wow," she whispered, locking her arm with Wakka's and resting her head on his shoulder. Wakka brushed the golden hair off Rikku's forehead gently, and let his hand rest against her cheek.
Auron watched that simple gesture, and felt a strange pulling at his unsent heart. Why? He wondered. Why should it matter to me? The two of them, Rikku and Wakka, they were getting closer and closer with every second that passed on this journey. And he was the one who had initiated it. Soon, Auron knew, something would happen. He honestly didn't know how he would react when the time came.
A little while later, Yuna declared that she was tired, and was going to bed. Tidus rose to follow her. Lulu looked like she wanted to complain, but one look from Auron hushed her.
Rikku yawned and stretched her arms. "Wow, I'm more tired than I thought," she said with a small giggle. "I guess I'm gonna hit the sack, too." She turned to Wakka. "Are you coming?" she whispered, so that only he could hear.
"In a minute, ya?" he told her, touching the tip of her nose lightly. He watched her walk down the hallway, marveling at how pretty she was. He still couldn't believe how lucky he had gotten, finding her. She was showing him so much, and he'd be eternally grateful for it.
Wakka turned back to those who remained in the lobby. Kimahri was speaking with a few of the other Ronso, which left only Lulu and Auron. That was fine with him; they were the ones he wanted to talk to anyway.
"Hey, uh, I was wonderin' if I could talk to you two for just a minute?" Wakka asked, scratching the back of his neck.
Lulu cocked her head to the side, immediately concerned. Wakka looked nervous about something. Much as she liked to pretend otherwise, she really did care a great deal for him. More than she really should considering the circumstances. "Is something wrong?" she asked.
Wakka shook his head. "No, no, nothin'. It's just, well, I'm about to do somethin' kinda important, and I just needed some steadyin', ya?"
Auron inadvertently sucked in his breath. "Yes?" he said, trying to remain calm.
"Well, see, I'm gonna ask Rikku to … to marry me, ya? Once everything with Sin is over and done with … when and if we come back. I just … I don't want to wait until it's too late. I think if I don't do it now, it just won't get done, and then, what if it's too late, ya? What if I never ask her, and she never knows that I wanted to, and then we get to Zanarkand and fight Sin and … well, you know." Wakka's face had turned the same shade as his hair.
Lulu's eyes widened in utter shock. "Yevon, Wakka! Are you serious about this?"
Wakka looked at her, his oldest friend and nodded solemnly. "More than I have ever been about anything, Lu."
"But, Wakka, she's Al Bhed. You … your feelings about them …"
"Lulu!" Auron said sharply, causing the black mage to jump. To Wakka, he said, "I do not think you have any reason to worry. It is no secret that the two of you care for each other a great deal. I can only hope that things do work out for you."
"Thanks, Sir Auron," Wakka said sincerely. He looked at Lu, worried. She seemed so … angry … with him. But why? Didn't she want him to be happy? "Lu. Are you mad at me?"
Quickly, Lulu composed herself. "No, of course not, Wakka. It is just … I was not expecting it, not so soon."
"It's now or never," Wakka said, standing up. "I can't wait till the last minute and risk losing it all, ya?"
Lulu laughed sardonically. Too bad she hadn't thought of that. "I suppose you're right." She stood up, and in a move she was unaccustomed to, wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "Good luck, Wakka," she whispered as Wakka returned the hug, surprised at her sudden emotional outburst. Well, for Lu it was an emotional outburst. Lu didn't hug people. Not even Yuna.
"Thanks, Lu," Wakka said, pulling away from her. He turned and walked down the hallway, and Lulu watched him go, a sad expression on her face.
"I'm an idiot," she said in a barely audible voice, shaking her head.
"We both are," Auron said from behind her. Lulu turned around, surprised that he had even heard her.
"We are?" she asked, sitting back down.
"We both missed something that was right in front of our face the whole time," he said vaguely.
Lulu's brow furrowed. What was he talking about? She knew what she was feeling, but she hadn't thought that Auron had developed any deep feelings for anyone during this journey. "Sir Auron?"
He shook himself out of his reverie. "I apologize. I didn't realize that these emotions ran so deep. It's been a … lifetime since I've felt anything of the sort."
"Sir Auron, I don't understand," Lulu said.
"You understand better than anyone else could. I knew it long ago, as you did, but I simply refused to admit that I could be feeling anything of the sort. I thought I was above such notions," Auron said with a slight chuckle.
"Notions such as …" Lulu pressed gently.
"Love. What else, Lulu?" Auron sighed with resignation.
"Love? Sir Auron … you are in love? With who?"
Auron uncorked his jug of sake and took a long swig before answering the mage. "I should think that that much is obvious. This whole time, I've watched her, more than I have watched Yuna. I'm not proud of that … I just – I can't help it. She's so small, so vulnerable. I worry about her. And since I feared what I was feeling, I sent him to her in my stead." He laughed sardonically. "And look what it has gotten me." He looked at Lulu. "What it has gotten us. Lulu, I am sorry."
Lulu closed her eyes, all of it making sense now. "Oh, Sir Auron. It's not your fault. I'm guilty of the same thing. I, too, pushed her at him. I – I had to. I was afraid. After Chappu … I couldn't go through that again. I wouldn't be able to bear it." Sighing, she looked at her fellow guardian. "But I think it doesn't much matter what we did. Those two, they were destined to collide from the very beginning, without any outside help." She shrugged. "And they're happy. We can't exactly deny them that, now can we?"
Auron stood up stiffly. He was beginning to feel it now, that pull. The weight of the world that he wasn't supposed to belong to any more was bearing down on him more and more the nearer they drew to Zanarkand.
Well, that was something, he thought. At least I won't have to live the rest of my life with this feeling. Not like Lulu. He felt sorry for her. To have loved and lost not once, but twice … If she was feeling even a fraction of what he was feeling, then he pitied her plight more than any other creature's on the planet.
Even more than Yuna. Because Yuna would live. Tidus would see to that, it was the whole reason he was here. He knew what was in store, but he also knew that the end wouldn't truly be the end.
"Good night, Lulu," Auron said. "I am tired."
Lulu nodded. "Good night, Sir Auron." She couldn't have slept if she wanted to. So much was weighing on her mind.
Auron walked down the hallway, past the room where Tidus and Yuna slept, past the room that Kimahri had retired to, past the room that Lulu would sleep in, past the room that he could hear the soft murmur of two voices, speaking of their future. He reached his room at the end of the hallway, opened the door, and collapsed onto the bed.
This was not supposed to happen! He cursed the gods. I'm dead. Isn't that enough? Why, why should I be feeling this pain now?
Ah, but you are feeling, Auron. And isn't that worth something? Braska's voice, again.
"A lot of good it does me now," Auron said gruffly.
Wait and see. That was the only response Braska would give him. Wait and see.
Part TwoWakka walked into the room that Rikku was in, and watched her sleep for a moment. He smiled, feeling more and more nervous by the second. She looked so sweet, lying there like that. He hated to wake her, but this was more important than sleep.
He lowered himself onto the bed beside her, and gently traced the curve of her face with his fingertip. Her skin was so soft. He couldn't get over that. "Rikku," he whispered. "Psst, Rikku. Wake up, ya?"
Rikku's eyelids fluttered and then opened, and she focused those remarkable green eyes on the man before her. "Wakka? What's wrong? Is Yunie okay?" She sat bolt upright in bed, instantly awake.
Wakka laughed a little. "Yuna's fine, ya? Calm down. Not everything is an impending disaster."
"I'm sorry," Rikku said sarcastically. "Are you new here? This is a pilgrimage, to Zanarkand, where we send our beloved summoners to their untimely deaths. The whole journey is an impending disaster."
"Rikku," Wakka said, reaching out and touching her face. "This isn't about Yuna, or the pilgrimage. It's about us. And it can't wait any longer."
Rikku's features twisted with concern. "Okay?" she said quizzically.
Wakka blew out an exasperated breath. "It's just that, this journey has got me to thinkin', ya? That we never know what will happen next. So when we find something worth holdin' onto, we should hold onto it, right?"
"Yeah, of course," Rikku said, tilting her head and looking into the warm brown eyes that she adored. He looked so serious. She almost giggled. "Wakka, what's going on?"
"I'm sayin', Rikku, that I want to hold onto you, and I want you to know that I want to hold onto you. Since we don't know what's waitin' for us over this mountain, in Zanarkand, I want you to know it now. I'm tellin' you, Rikku, that when this is all over with and behind us, that I want to marry you. I want to spend the whole rest of my life with you." There. I said it. Wakka thought, proud of himself. He sucked in his breath and waited.
Rikku was shocked. Her hand flew to her mouth, and tears filled her eyes. "You want to marry me?" she whispered. "You really do?"
"Yes, you crazy girl, I really do," Wakka told her.
"But … I'm Al Bhed. Are you sure that that's … okay?"
"It's more than okay," Wakka said. "You've taught me so much, and given me so much, even when I was bein' a real jerk, ya?"
Rikku's tears spilled over then, and she threw herself into his arms. "Oh, Wakka. I love you so much. And I want … I want to spend my life with you too."
Wakka pulled away so he could look into her eyes. "Is that a yes?"
Rikku laughed. "It's a hell yes! Of course I'll marry you!" She threw her arms around him again, laughing and crying all at once.
Wakka laughed along with her, happier than he had been in a very long time. Rikku had brought the sunshine back into his life, given him so many reasons to want to be alive. Yevon may have utterly disappointed him and shattered his conviction, but this tiny person, an Al Bhed nonetheless, had given him something to put his ruined faith back into:
Her.
Part ThreeLittle did Wakka know, but someone else felt the exact same way about the exact same girl.
But there was nothing that could give Auron solace from the pain he was feeling. Why now? Why, when he was nearly at the end of his journey, when he was about to depart for his well-deserved rest, did he finally learn what love was? He'd managed to live his entire life without it, and he thought he'd done all right.
But now, she had crept under his skin and into his brain and his heart and wasn't budging, and he didn't know he had survived without this feeling before. It actually made him feel more alive now than he had when he was actually living.
He tried to drown her out with his sake, as he had done on many previous occasions when no one else was around. But this time, all he could see was her, laughing and smiling, twirling in his mind.
He finally passed out from the alcohol but still, he dreamed about her:
She was wearing a white dress and saying her vows. But she wasn't pledging her love and life to the red-haired blitzer, but to a skeleton, a dead man. And she was signing her very life away, agreeing to a life in the shadows, away from the sun. And she did it with a smile on her face … because Rikku always smiled.
He woke with a start, his head pounding from the sake. The dream had shaken him. "I'm dead," he said desperately. "I am dead and she is very much alive. Why do you torture me in this manner? Braska, what are you trying to do?"
Not yet, Braska's voice whispered. Rest, Auron. There is much left to see.
"No, Braska, there isn't," Auron argued. He was loud, almost belligerent. He no longer cared. This wasn't the way things were supposed to work out; this hadn't been in his master plan when he had come back from Zanarkand.
He had counted on Tidus, Yuna, Kimahri, Lulu, and Wakka. They were all supposed to be here. But not her. She had been the bombshell – literally – the catalyst to the destruction of his resolve.
You aren't finished here, Auron. Not yet. Just wait. All will be revealed in due time. There is much left to see.
Auron managed to fall back into a mercifully dreamless sleep, with the aid of a bit more sake.
There is much left to see …