Chapter Fifteen
Just Missed the Train
Her happiness from that morning had morphed into some severe loathing by that afternoon. Yunie knew something, something important, but Sir Auron wouldn't let her impart that knowledge on Rikku, and it pissed Rikku off.
Rikku stomped along the mountain path, mumbling Al Bhed obscenities under her breath and shooting dagger glares at the red-cloaked man in front of her. She didn't like being lied to. There was more to the Lake of the Forgotten than anyone was telling her, and she wanted to know why. It wasn't as if she was a child any more! Whatever it was, she could handle it.
Wakka noticed Rikku's agitation, and did his best to figure out what was bothering her. "Rikku, hey," he said gently about an hour or so into their trek. "What's buggin' you this morning, eh?"
Rikku looked up into Wakka's warm brown eyes, the eyes she adored, and forced herself to smile. Wakka hadn't done anything wrong, and he didn't deserve to have it taken out on him. "Nothing, Wakka," she said, shaking her head for emphasis. Seeing the disappointment on his face, Rikku's sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be cranky with you."
"You gonna tell me what's bothering you then?" Wakka asked, his eyes imploring hers, making him look so sweet and innocent that she caved.
"Well … have you heard of the Lake of the Forgotten?" she began, speaking in low tones so that the others wouldn't overhear her.
"Yeah … it's a myth," Wakka told her easily, spinning his blitzball. "Why? Did somethin' happen?"
Rikku shook her head. "Oh, no. It's just that, this morning, before anyone else got up, I was, uh, reading some of the books in the lobby, and one of them talked about this … mythical Lake thingy, but I didn't get to finish reading it. It looked pretty … intense, though, you know?" Rikku was a terrible liar, and she knew it. She only hoped that she had been convincing enough this time.
Wakka nodded. "It is. They say it only appears once every thousand years, ya? And only two people in all of Spira get to see it."
"Two worthy people, right, I … uh, read that part. But, how do they know who's worthy? And worthy of what, exactly?" Rikku said, her brow furrowed.
Wakka laughed. "Sure got a lot of questions inside that head of yours," he said, kissing her forehead. "Especially about something that doesn't even exist, ya?"
Rikku sank against him, relishing the warmth his body radiated. Maybe she was just being silly. But then again, she had seen the Lake. She had touched it and felt the power course through her body. "Wakka?" she said a little while later. "What … what do the legends say about touching the water?"
"Oh, geez, let me think, ya?" Wakka said, trying to remember the stories he had heard as a boy. "They say that only one of the people will be permitted to touch the water, ya? And that the person will be bestowed with some kind of heavenly gift, or somethin' like dat."
Rikku thought about what Sir Auron had said, that she had a gift now, but wouldn't know what it was until later. "Wow. That's crazy, right?" She giggled a little. "I mean, average people getting heavenly gifts. That's what they write fairy tales about."
"Sometimes fairy tales come true, ya?" Wakka said, pausing for a second and turning Rikku to look at him. "I mean, look at us."
Rikku smiled up at him, feeling that little flutter in her heart that radiated warmth throughout her body. "I guess you're right. We're really lucky, Wakka," she told him, standing up on her tiptoes to kiss his lips.
"Again, you two?" Tidus' voice called out from behind them. "Come on, we've got hiking to do."
Rikku shook her head and laughed at the blond blitzer. "Well, we were just waiting for you slowpokes to catch up, right, Wakka?" she teased.
Yuna smiled her pretty smile and looked up at Tidus. "She has a point," she said softly. "We were lagging a bit."
"So … we're supposed to make out while we wait for people to catch up? Is that the new rule?" Tidus asked as he and Yuna caught up to the others.
Rikku giggled. "Only you would think of something like that, Tidus," she told him in a mock-stern voice. "C'mon, Sir Auron's waaaay up ahead, and I'm sure he's getting irritated."
"He can make out with Kimahri till we get there," Tidus suggested, smirking evilly.
Rikku launched a snowball at him. "You know, I hope he heard you say that, Tidus. I can't wait to see what kind of lecture you're gonna get." She smiled at Yuna. "He's in a lecturing mood today, you know?" She winked at her cousin, who laughed.
"Are you finished?" Lulu's voice came from behind them. She had been bringing up the rear of the group, lost in her own thoughts. She didn't mean to come off as irritated, it was just that there was so much on her mind, and she had a hard time fitting all of her thoughts inside her brain.
"Uh-oh," Wakka mumbled under his breath. "Sorry, Lu," he said to the mage.
Rikku looked down sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry, Lulu. We're going now." She looked at Wakka and made her "Oopsie" face.
"You know," Wakka said after the group had continued moving. "It would be something, to see that Lake, if it wasn't a myth, ya?"
"The Lake of the Forgotten?" Lulu, who was only a few feet away from them now, chimed in.
"Uh, yeah," Rikku said nervously. "I was … reading … about it this morning."
"I've read that it is spectacular," Lulu said dreamily. "The water is the bluest blue you've ever seen. And it sparkles, like a gemstone."
"Yeah," Rikku said, sighing, remembering the shimmering azure water vividly in her mind. "It … sounded amazing. I just … I'd never heard of it, you know? So I was curious."
"And if we were to see it together, well, it'd be a blessing, ya?" Wakka continued.
Rikku's eyes flashed, and she looked up at him. "A – a blessing?" she stuttered.
"Well, yes. Didn't you read that part, Rikku?" Lulu asked in a gentle voice. "The two people who see the Lake of the Forgotten are destined for one another."
Rikku stopped walking. "What?" she spat. Lulu and Wakka's faces showed twin expressions of shock at Rikku's outburst. "I'm sorry, I mean … What? Destined for what, exactly?"
"For each other, for eternity, ya?" Wakka said, smiling at her.
"To be the love story that all other love stories are based upon for the next one thousand years," Lulu added, looking at the younger girl earnestly. "It's a terribly romantic notion."
"No, it's not!" Rikku cried out. "It's … it's not terribly romantic at all, Lulu! It's like … your head being messed with, it's like, having no free will at all, you know?"
By this time, the other party members had stopped and turned around to see what the commotion was all about. "What the…?" Tidus began, looking thoroughly confused.
Rikku turned to Wakka, her eyes burning with green fire. "I love you, Wakka. I absolutely adore you, you know that, right?"
Wakka was completely confounded by Rikku's attitude. "'Course I do, Rikku, but I …"
"Good," Rikku said, throwing her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Good, then that's all that matters. You and I, we love each other, and we're going to get married and be happy forever, and that's all that matters." She was in serious danger of becoming hysterical.
She pulled away from Wakka, and turned to her cousin. "Yunie, why didn't you say something? Why didn't you say something?"
Yuna looked stricken. "Rikku … I … There was nothing to say. These things have a way … whether you want them to or not, they have a way."
"No." Rikku's voice was more forceful than it had ever been. "Not this time."
Yuna looked down. There was nothing she could say to Rikku now, nothing that could make her understand. "Perhaps you're right."
"Rikku, I don't really understand …" Wakka began, but was silenced by the look that his summoner gave him.
Rikku's fiery gaze now settled on Auron, and the dagger glare she had been giving him earlier was nothing compared to the pure venom that shot out of her eyes now. "You. You knew. And you didn't say a word to me about it!" She closed her eyes and forced herself not to cry. "All morning, I thought that I'd just seen this wonderful thing, that I was really lucky. I was so wrong. And I feel like an idiot."
"Rikku …" Auron said carefully.
She shook her head, and then laughed, almost maniacally. "I don't believe in being destined. We make our own paths, and I've made mine. And you are not a part of it. Not any more." She turned to Wakka, and stared at him for a long moment. "E muja oui," she told him. "Believe me, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
"Rikku … you saw it?" Wakka asked, trying to wrap his head around what had just been exhibited.
Rikku nodded. "Yes, I saw it."
"With … Sir Auron?" Wakka continued.
"Yes, but that doesn't matter. That's so not important, Wakka." Rikku looked at him, pleading with her eyes.
"It's more important than you think," Wakka said, stepping away from her a bit.
"Are you serious, Wakka? Please … Just because I saw some stupid lake this morning? A lake that I didn't even know anything about?" Tears were falling from her eyes now, and she didn't care.
"The lake doesn't lie, Rikku," Lulu said in a soft voice.
"Shut up, Lulu!" Rikku snapped. "I don't care about the stupid lake, and I don't care what it's supposed to mean. I don't feel any different now than I did before I saw the damned thing! I love Wakka. And I don't feel a blessed thing for … him." She said, nodding her head in Sir Auron's direction.
"There is obviously something there, Rikku," Wakka said slowly, hating the sound of his voice with every syllable that he spoke. "Or else you two wouldn't have seen it."
Rikku sniffled. "No, there's not! Wakka, please, listen to me! You want to marry me … and I want to marry you, too. Why should what I've seen change all that?"
"It's already changed, ya?" Wakka said gently. "Don't you see dat?"
Rikku choked back a sob. "NO!"
"I'm sorry, Rikku," Wakka said.
"You're not even trying!" Rikku cried out.
"You're right," Wakka said. "That's the other thing. I don't even feel the need."
Rikku gave pause. "I'm – I'm not even worth fighting for?"
"It's a futile fight, ya?" Wakka said lamely. His eyes belied what he was saying, and Rikku could see that he was hurting just as badly as she was. "I didn't see this comin' at all."
Part TwoThe party found a cave large enough to fit all seven of them several hours later. "We rest here tonight," Sir Auron said.
Nobody said anything; they just entered the cave and set to work on the tasks of building a fire and preparing food.
Rikku sat alone in the corner, trying her best to avoid contact with any of them. If only she had kept her big, stupid mouth shut, none of this would have happened. But no, she just had to go and ask all these dumb questions about the Lake, and find out more than she really wanted to know.
And now, she had lost everything. She looked at the others, watched them go about their routine, all in a vain attempt to pretend that everything was normal. Wakka sat between Tidus and Lulu, both of whom were trying their best to cheer him up.
Rikku sighed and watched him interact with Lulu. He had such an easy repertoire with her … they behaved like two people who had known each other for the better part of their lives. Sitting apart from the group, Rikku was able to notice things with renewed clarity.
Tidus and Yuna usually saw only each other, but Tidus was trying his damndest to cheer Wakka up at present. Kimahri kept constant watch over Yuna, while she put the finishing touches on dinner.
Lulu looked at Wakka with a fondness that Rikku had never noticed before. I didn't want this. I wanted himHer memories of Wakka were on a continuous loop in her brain, and they wouldn't go away. Fresh tears sprung to her eyes.
"Rikku." Yuna's quiet voice broke into her thoughts. She held a plate out to her distraught cousin. "You need to eat something."
"I'm not hungry," Rikku said, pushing the plate away.
"Rikku, I know you don't understand now … none of us understand why these things happen. But it'll make sense soon."
Poor Yunie, Rikku thought bitterly. Trying so hard … She doesn't realize that everything is just broken now. "No, it won't, you know?" Rikku said. "He was it, Yunie. He was mine. And I don't understand any of this. Why can't two people who are in love work through these stupid obstacles?"
"It's not up to us, Rikku," Yuna said softly. "Sometimes the obstacles are just too big." She looked sadly at Tidus while she spoke. "I don't like how things worked out for me, much, either, you know? It really … sucks … when you meet someone who is supposed to be your forever, only to find out that Fate has other plans for you."
Rikku nodded. She got it, she did. "I wish I could just pretend this was all some big dream. I'd wake up, and all this would be over." She laughed dryly. "It'd be easier to handle if it was just a dream."
Yuna nodded. "I understand," she said. "I wish that, too, sometimes."
"So what do I do, Yunie? I mean, if Wakka's not it … and I don't want anything to do with the man who is supposed to be … where does that leave me?" Rikku brushed the tears off of her cheeks impatiently.
"Confused?" Yuna supplied. "Lost? Afraid?"
Rikku nodded. "All of the above." Sighing, she let her eyes scan the cave. They fell on Sir Auron, standing near the entrance, and she sighed. "I don't understand … I don't get it. If he's my destiny, shouldn't I feel it?"
Auron chose that moment to look back inside the cave, at her. Rikku looked away quickly, and turned her attention to Wakka, who was also looking at her. Rikku motioned for Wakka to follow her outside.
He did, and the two of them walked away from the cave, out of earshot of everyone. "Wakka …" she began. The sun was beginning to set, and the light was a rose-gold color that seemed to lend itself to this kind of talk.
"Rikku," he said at the same time. He nervously scratched the back of his neck, the move that Rikku had always found endearing.
Sighing, Rikku reached up and touched his face. "I'm sorry. You know I didn't want this." She bit back the tears. "I don't understand any of this."
Wakka put his hands on Rikku's shoulders and squeezed lightly. "Well, it's not like I won't still be around, if you need me, ya?"
Rikku smiled tenderly at him. "Oh, Wakka." The tears fell then. "I'm so sorry."
"Me too," he said, pulling her close to him. "I'm sorry that I wasn't it for you, ya?"
"But you are," Rikku said.
Wakka shook his head. "I'm not. And it's okay. Hey, look at me." He tilted her face up with his fingertips. "I'm thankful for you. You taught me a lot. And, you know, I'll be waitin' for you."
Rikku smiled. "This is just one of those things," she said quietly. "Someday … maybe … we'll be back to each other?"
Wakka smiled sadly. "We can hope, ya?"
"So … I don't really know what to say now," Rikku said. "We're going to see each other every day. It'll be so hard. I do still love you, and I always will."
"I love you too," Wakka said. Smiling down at her, he leaned in to give her one last kiss.
His blessing, his curse, his beautiful might-have-been.
A/N: Awww, sad stuff! Don't worry, the next chap is forthcoming, very soonly. There's still a loooooooot of stuff to come in this story ... Please bear with me on these twisty-turny roads. We're getting somewhere, I promise you that:) I love all my reviewers, btw! You guys are the best! Rhianna :)
