Alone.

That's what she felt. For the first time in her life she had been as close as someone could get to another person and the only thing she felt was utterly alone.

She broke a marriage up just because she could. She didn't love Dean. She never had and she never would. She was lonely and hurting and wanted to break something. So she broke up a marriage. Just to feel wanted again.

She didn't think she was capable of something that cruel. She knew things could never go back. She was here. Lying in her childhood room with her married ex boyfriend. She was no longer little innocent bookworm always does the right thing Rory. Now she was Rory, the girl who sleeps with married men. She lost her virginity to a married man. A married man who she didn't love. In her mother's house. On the opening night of her mother's inn. She'd never felt more lost. Her identity had been thrown out along with her morals the minute her shirt had come off.

She hadn't wanted it to be like this. She had wanted her first time to be special. With someone she loved. She now almost wished she'd had sex with Jess. But she had held off because she almost wanted someone "better" for her first time. Dean was certainly not better. God, she really should have had sex with Jess. He at least wasn't married. But her mother would have been furious. Her mother would certainly be furious now. Her only daughter "the other woman". She felt so alone.

No longer a child. She couldn't run crying to her mommy for this mistake. Oh no. This was much too serious.

She didn't know where to turn. So she did the only thing she could think of. She got out of bed. Put on a robe. Kicked Dean out. Took a shower and packed her suitcase. She was going to follow her instincts and do what she did when she was confused or angry. She'd do what she'd done every time she'd kissed a boy she wasn't supposed to : run. Run far away.