Chapter 13: One Hat Isn't Enough

So, this was what she was supposed to feel. She didn't like it. It was icky and gross. It hurt. She wished it would go away. She wondered if this was what Ephram felt when he talked about Mommy. She hoped not, she didn't want her brother to feel like this.

He already hurt a lot. That's what her Daddy had said. He said that Ephram was hurt and that they were going to stop him form hurting. He said she wouldn't be able to see him anymore, that's the part Delia didn't like, but he would never hurt again. She didn't like the way this made her feel but she would rather have this icky feeling herself than have Ephram feel it. So, she had decided that not seeing him would be okay. She didn't see Mommy anymore but she still felt her and sometimes she even talked to her. Mommy didn't talk back but Delia knew she was listening. She figured Ephram would listen, too. But she still didn't like not being able to see him again. One hat wasn't enough.

Mommy had given her lots and lots of hats. Daddy had gotten her a hat for every holiday for the last two years, that's a lot of hats. Nonnie and Grandpa had given her a whole collection for her eighth birthday, one hat from every team of every professional sport that played in New York City. But Ephram had only ever given her one hat. He had always said she had enough hats; she didn't need him buying her one. Since she was seven, she had begged for him to get her a hat but he never had. He'd been a big meanie.

Then, one day, just after Mommy went away, he came home and told her he had something for her. She sorta remembered that she had been having that icky hurt feeling for a while and she didn't care what he had but he's been a big dumb bully. He pulled her into his room and pointed at a bag on the bed. He told her to open it and when she did, the icky feeling inside went away. The blue cap didn't have the name of a sports team on it, like all her other hats did, it just had a big red D. D for Delia. It fit her perfectly the second she put it on and the end had already been bent exactly the way she like it. It wasn't even itchy, like new hats usually were.

It became her favorite hat. She didn't wear it very much but when she did any icky feelings she was having would go away. It was the best hat ever but she wanted more. Ephram shouldn't go away. He had only given her one hat.

Standing up in the ugly green chair, Delia tried not to be scared of the big white tube or the pointy thing in Ephram's hand. She put her small hands on the scratchy blanket and whispered into her big brother's ear.

"You can't leave. I only have one hat."