Chapter 14: A Year Behind

"You want to hear a story?" Andy heard himself whisper, looking up from his and his son's entwined hands to Nina's red-eyed gaze.

"Sure," she said softly.

"When Ephram was twelve we went to the lake for a swim. It was one of the few weekends I spent with my family instead of standing in an operating room with my hands inside some stranger's brain. The weather was beautiful and the lake was mostly empty. Julia was taking care of Delia and I was supposed to be keeping an eye on Ephram. The currents had been really dangerous because of a storm off the coast. Ephram was a strong swimmer but my wife told me to watch out just in case. About halfway through the afternoon I got a phone call from work and started talking. An hour later, a lifeguard walked up to me, holding Ephram limp in his arms. He had been caught by a current and nearly drowned. We took him to the hospital. He was fine but Julia was extremely shaken. She had been so terrified. I remember standing in the doorway of the hospital room, listening to them talk. She told Ephram that he wasn't allowed to die before her. It was against the rules. He told her that he didn't want to live if she wasn't with him. Then the two of them made an agreement. They would die together, the same day, the same second. I guess he's fulfilling his promise. He's just a year behind." Andy finished, suddenly wracked by sobs, his voice too choked to continue.

"Oh, Andy." Nina crossed over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, letting his tears soak her shirt. For what felt like hours, Andy let the grief and pain pour out of him in hot, salty drops. He shook and trembled. He choked and suffocated. Then there were no more tears left in him. He'd used them all.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, Andy quietly asked Nina to leave, wanting to be alone to say goodbye. She nodded and stepped around him, her own tears falling. Placing a hand on Ephram's cheek, she gently stroked the discolored skin, then suddenly turned and fled, a sob sounding in her wake.

After hearing the door click shut, Andy closed his eyes and began to speak.

"Julia, I know that you made an agreement. I know that he promised but that was before. Before I knew him, before I needed him. Honey, he's all that has kept me going. He's the only one who broke through my pain and kept me from dieing. You already took half of me with you. If he leaves, the other half will be gone, too. There won't be anything left for Delia. She needs me, too. I would like to say that I could take care of her no matter what but I can't. So, please, break the pact. Let him know that you don't hold him to his promise. Let him know that I love him. I know that he'd be happier with you but I'm selfish. I always have been, you know that. I need him. I need him here, with me. Please, don't let him leave me. Please." Andy ended on a whisper, continuing to plead silently in his head.

With a sigh he stood up, knowing he should say goodbye but unable to make himself do so. He felt he should kiss Ephram's cheek or touch his hair or something but he didn't. He simply turned and left the room. He would tell the doctor he was ready.

As silence once again filled ICU 10, a soft breeze blew through the room. The boy's dark hair shifted as though an invisible hand were running its fingers through the strands. The breeze was strong. It seemed almost to take control of the room, working it's magic and then sweeping out again, as fast as it had come.

The troubling thing was that the window was closed; no breeze should have swept in. Nonetheless, it left behind a strange feeling, incredible love and overwhelming sadness. But the sadness couldn't last.

The soft Colorado breeze was too nice for such feelings.