Woohoo! Never would have expected such a good response. Here we go again....

Disclaimer: Much coffee would I give to own,

Or even to have on loan,

But J.K. Rowling is supreme,

And over Harry Potter she is queen

(And that is better in the end, I say.)

And now I wish you all good day.

And that proves I am a worse poet than you, so don't worry.

A Clear Conscience Is Usually the Sign of A Bad Memory

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!!"

The sun had just risen. Birds ate the early (and ill-fated) worms; little woodland creatures came out of their burrows and were eaten by the owls that were headed back to the Owlery for the day. Hagrid groggily let Fang (who is a very long-lived dog) out, and a day in the life of Hogwarts began. However, most the occupants of the castle itself were still dead to the world, but the peace was not to last long. One teacher was awake, and she was not in a good mood.

"I told you already! They won't budge. I shouted for nearly half an hour, and all I have to show for it is a bruise from where I tripped over an unidentified disorganized object!" Professor McGonagall took a deep breath, and glanced at the Headmaster, who still looked half asleep.

"Maybe I should go get them up." He answered.

Back in Gryffindor tower

"SNOORRKK!"

Professor McGonagall paused for a moment, glancing at the door that led to the first year boy's dormitory. She still wasn't sure how such small children could make so much noise. Finally they made it to their destination, the only room whose door was plastered with such signs as 'Beware the Dog,' 'Deer Crossing' and 'We Break for Cheese.' Shaking her head, she pulled the door open.

She glanced around the room, and then looked to Dumbledore in horror. In the morning light the task set before her was incredibly daunting. The only area of the room in which one did not have to wade through...stuff, was the area immediately surrounding the bed of Remus Lupin, who looked very peaceful, curled up in a fetal position and muttering about chocolate frogs.

The occupants in the other beds took closer examination to be identified. One bed was piled high with blankets, and they determined that it contained James Potter from the tuft of black hair on the pillow and the broom propped up on more stuff. On one bed there were ankles sticking up where one normally put their head. McGonagall decided they were Peter's from the trunk at the end of the bed. By process of elimination, that left Black in the bed closest to them.

At least, McGonagall assumed there was a bed within the pile somewhere. If there was, it was completely covered in stuff. There was so much piled on the bed that it basically disappeared, along with its occupant. On the bed, under the bed, around the bed, there was so much junk that the bed's exact dimensions were indistinguishable.

"Please don't tell me one of my students is in that...mound." Dumbledore said.

She sighed. This was going to be a miserably long day.

"Okay you four, it's time to wake up." She called.

"SNNORKK!" Coming from the general direction of James.

"Time to get up! You got yourself into this mess, though how, I won't try to imagine..." Dumbledore tried.

Silence greeted his words. That is, until something gave a loud 'RIBBIT!' Sighing, McGonagall pulled out her wand and looked at Dumbledore, who nodded.

"Boys, I did warn you..." Aiming the wand at her throat, she called out her choice spell.

"Sonorus."

Clearing her throat, she spoke. "POTTER, BLACK, PETTIGREW, LUPIN, GET OUT OF BED NOW BEFORE YOU EARN YOURSELVES DETENTION!"

The reaction was instantaneous. Well, in one bed. Jumping nearly five feet into the air, Remus Lupin landed like a cat on the bed, his eyes bugging out. "Save the chocolate! Sacrifice Sirius instead!" He shouted, then sat panting for a moment, before he noticed the Professors.

"Um, hello, can I help you?" His cheeks colored in embarrassment.

"Did you already forget last night Mr. Lupin? Please help me wake your peers please."

Remus nodded, and maneuvered expertly through the junk to reach James's bed. "Maybe he can get Sirius up." He explained.

"James, get up." He waited for a moment. "You have to get up." Silence. "James, I really didn't want to do this." He took a deep breath. "JAMES YOU HAVE TO GET UP NOW! THE ENTIRE TEAM IS ALREADY AT THE PITCH AND SLYTHERIN WILL BE OUT IN TWO MINUTES." He took a deep breath. "IF YOU AREN'T THERE BY THEN, PETER I-CAN'T-BALANCE-ON-MY-OWN-FEET PETTIGREW WILL HAVE TO PLAY FOR YOU!" He finished.

Within a matter of twenty-six seconds, James had shot out of bed, grabbed his broom and shoes, and was halfway across the room, while still in his pajamas. He paused when he saw the Professors.

"Wait, this, isn't this..."

"And the grand prize goes to Jamie, for knowing his days of the week! Yes, today is Monday." Remus clapped mockingly at James.

"Remus, you, I'm going to..."

"But you would have to get to me first, in order to beat or bludgeon to death or whatever you were planning to do to me." Remus smiled. "Now get Sirius up."

"Fine, but you get Pete up."

"Yeah, yeah."

Remus edged through the piles to reach Peter's bed. "Peter, get up." He said.

Mumbling came from the foot of the bed.

"He says he's not getting up ever and he wants us all to be cast into the depths of the Atlantic." Remus translated knowingly, and smiled at the Professors.

"Pete, if you don't get up then I will tell Sirius which girl you told me you liked."

Movement came from the foot of the bed, and marauder number three emerged at the top of the bed after wriggling through the covers. He glared at Remus through messy blond hair.

"That's the last time I confide in you." He muttered.

"Hallelujah." Remus smiled, then laughed softly at Peter's face.

Everyone's attention turned toward Sirius' bed.

"Sirius, get up." James whispered.

A low growl came from the bed.

"What was that? Never mind. Sirius, get up." James knocked a bunch of shoes off the bed so the back of Sirius's head was visible.

"Black, get out of bed." McGonagall tried.

A chess piece came whizzing toward her head from the mound. She diverted it with a wave of her wand, and glared at the pile.

"Get up Si." said James.

Another growl came from the bed; it had risen both in volume and in malevolence.

James threw his hands in the air. "Well, that's my best. I don't want to get beaten up, so it's someone else's turn."

Each of the boys shook their heads violently. However, Professor Dumbledore stepped forward, and walked calmly through the junk to the near side of Sirius's bed. He leaned over the pile. "Mr. Black, please get out of bed or I will be forced to allow the house elves to come in this room, and you will be left alone with them." His voice had a tone of finality in it, and it also achieved the desired affect. Sirius lifted his head slightly, and glared furiously at the headmaster, before slowly getting up.

"Someone get me food." He commanded.

Peter pulled a box of cereal out from under his bed, and McGonagall stared at him in shock.

"How do you four live like this?"

"Live like what?" Sirius asked, wrestling the box from Peter, spilling half its contents on the floor in the process. He kicked it absently underneath one of the beds.

"Well, I guess it's time for you to get started cleaning, so I will be leaving Professor McGonagall with you," he nodded toward her, "and remember, this room must be clean, ere the sun riseth again!" Dumbledore smiled and left the room.

James leaned over to Sirius. "Why was he talking like that?" He whispered.

Sirius shrugged, and then stuffed another mouthful of cereal in his mouth.

McGonagall turned on the boys, eyes flashing, indicating her current temper. "Get started." She commanded.

They looked around.

"Where do we begin?" Remus asked her.

"Under the beds. Start pulling the junk out, then separate it into piles depending on who it belongs to." She pointed over to Sirius's bed.

Remus climbed doubtfully over to it, and stuck his hand underneath it. He pulled out a box.

Silence immediately fell on everyone in the room.

Um...Black? Why is there a box of dog biscuits under your bed?" McGonagall asked.

"Are you sure you want to..." James started.

"Sirius! These are half gone!" Remus cried.

Sirius glanced at him. "Don't you ever get the urge to expand your culinary tastes?" He asked.

More silence.

"Well," Peter started slowly. "I always use to eat cheddar, but then I tried mozzarella, and I really liked it..."

McGonagall sunk into a chair next to the door. This was going to be a long day. She couldn't wait till she could leave for her Transfiguration classes.

Okay, the next chapter will be more interesting (I hope). Please review though.

Reviews:

Remus edged into view. "Hello all, um....well, Sirius and James are in detention so Pete and I will be responding." Peter jumped in front of Remus, who shoved him to the side.

"To Fairbird we (Pete, me and the author) say thank you, and we are also pleasantly surprised to see there is a Bible category in fanfiction, as we didn't know that. To Phaedra 14 we say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! You are too kind to this crazy author."

Remus, if you want to keep your job.....Pete, you're up.

"Right. Thank you J. Black! And to Miss Piratess, well, the author has to fess up to something...."

The unopened book part was 'borrowed' from Boy Meets World, I was watching a re-run for some reason and thought it was funny...and I'm glad you thought so too. Thank you for reviewing!

"Right, and Heaven's Angel Chick we also thank, and hope this was fast enough! Thank you wildrider! Honestly, this mad author doesn't deserve these awesome reviews..."

You're out too Pete. Who's left to answer reviews?

Sirius jumped up, having escaped detention. "I'm here! Thanks to ferrit. Admit to watching some Star Wars herself our author does. Pro at talking like backwards troll she is becoming...and thank you to Jeni..."

My pen name comes from Out of the Silent Planet by C. S. Lewis, in case you didn't know. I am really fond of it myself. Thanks!

"Yeah, yeah, well back to me." Sirius' eyes light up as he looks at the next review. "Thanks HealerAriel! Of course, I wouldn't say the others are hot, but you're definitely my favorite reviewer..."

Sirius, you are fired. Get out and tell James to get in here as you leave.

"Yeah, yeah..."

James saunters to the front. "Hey everyone! Thankyou to Athena Diagon Cat, and hey, have you ever tried to clean a room shared by the marauders? It's an adventure."

You're getting yourself in trouble James.

"Yeah, I just realized that. And to the wonderful Uineniel..."

James got no further as he was shoved to the side by Remus. "Thank you! We are really very honored to have you review to this story, our author can't believe her good fortune and prays you liked this chapter. Thank you so much!"

Sorry again it took me so long to update. Thank you everyone! Also, most of my stranger titles come from MarkLowry.net's funnies section, so I give it the credit...

Thank you everyone!