The Useless Orb of Lord Ukabuka
"Damn," said Yusuke, after he and Kuwabara had finished laughing hysterically for about five minutes. "That book must have been really useful, huh?"
"It would have been," agreed Kurama, who had returned just in time to hear what his dress had looked like, and had decided that there was no point in stopping Hiei by that point.
"What do you mean, would have been?" asked Hiei, because he felt the need to confirm his existence.
"Well, it would seem that someone stole it from us, though I'm not really sure if it counts as stealing if it wasn't really ours in the first place."
"Stole it? From YOU guys?"
"Yes, it was really quite odd. We had it in an extremely inconspicuous sack, and we put the sack down somewhere for no longer than five minutes, and when we opened it back at our hideout, there was only a bunch of potatoes."
---Elsewhere---
"Jin?"
"Yes, Touya?"
"Where did you get this book?"
"Oh, that. Forgot about that. Some jerk took my potatoes. Hardly a fair trade, if you ask me. Never did see those potatoes again."
"???"
---Back with the Tantei---
"Hey, Kurama," said Yusuke suddenly. "What's the stupidest thing you've ever stolen?"
"That was completely random," commented Kuwabara.
Kurama chuckled. "I would have to say the Orb of Ukabuka."
"The WHAT?!" three voices simultaneously yelled.
"The Orb of Ukabuka."
"What kind of a name is Ukabuka?" asked Yusuke incredulously.
"A stupid one," answered Hiei. "So, what is this... Orb of Ukabuka?"
"Well..."
---
"Oi, Kuronue."
"What."
"I'm bored."
"Then that makes two of us.
The two sat in silence for a while.
"Oi, Kuronue."
"What."
"Let's steal the Orb of Ukabuka."
"WHAT?!"
"Let's steal the Orb of Ukabuka."
"I heard you the first time! Why would you want to do THAT? I mean, it's the source of Lord Ukabuka's power, but it's completely useless to anyone else! Namely, us."
"Your loss," said Youko Kurama, shrugging.
-
The legendary kitsune bandit darted through the halls while Mission Impossible played in the background.
"Where is that music coming from?" Kurama wondered vaguely as he reached the room in which the orb was kept. So far, the security had been pretty good. So good, in fact, that Youko actually had a little difficulty getting through it, which in itself is impressive.
Regardlessly, it hadn't stopped him. Kurama slid the door open and peered inside. His eyes widened. He had been expecting something perhaps about the size of his fist, but this thing... it was at least a meter and a half in diameter. The golden orb had its own energy, as well.
Well, he wasn't about to turn around and give up, though. He quickly scanned the room for traps.
There were a lot.
Eh, no problem. They weren't designed to trap PLANTS, after all.
The kitsune carefully sent some vines over to thoroughly wrap themselves around the orb. Once he was sure it was secure, he willed the plants to lift it, and brought it back to where he stood.
Okay, now what? It's a lot easier to make your getaway with a small orb than a big one. He hadn't exactly been planning for the latter. He bit his lip. He could just forget about concealing it somehow. It wasn't exactly inconspicuous to casually stroll out the door with a big, golden ball that pulsed with enough energy to put a lighthouse to shame.
Hmm.
He'll just have to not be seen. He shrugged, and walked back through the corridor, his vines and the orb trailing behind. "Perhaps this wasn't such a great idea."
Suddenly, Kurama froze. He heard footsteps, and the hall was empty...
A green, low-level demon guard strolled by, whistling to himself and swinging his club.
His footsteps faded.
Kurama lowered himself and the orb from the ceiling.
-
He was almost there. Just a little further, and he was home free. When... "What is that guard doing out here in the middle of the night...?" This time, he didn't even have a ceiling to cling to. There was nowhere to hide, the guard had a torch, and was coming closer...
"Good evening," said the guard as she passed.
Thank goodness it's a women. Youko Kurama was 'casually' leaning and the vine-covered orb behind him. He flashed his winning smile, guaranteed to leave any girl's brain to the equivalent of the consistency of oatmeal. "Good evening."
The guard's eyes widened, and if she hadn't had such rigorous training, she probably would've dropped to her knees right then and there and started drooling. She looked away, pulled herself together, and walked on before she did just that.
Kurama let out a slight sigh of relief as soon as she was gone. Okay, time to go...
-
Kurama and Kuronue stood outside their hideout, looking at the Orb of Ukabuka.
"Satisfied?" asked Kuronue.
"Yes."
There was a brief silence.
"Remind me again, WHY exactly did I decide to steal this thing?"
"You were bored."
"Ah, yes."
---
Yusuke and Kuwabara were cracking up, and Hiei was smirking. Kurama was wearing a somewhat embarrassed grin.
"Kitsune no baka," commented the fire demon.
"Oh, hush, you."
------
A/N: Perhaps we should explain to how exactly we're going about writing this. WELL, you see, since it really doesn't work for us to write TOGETHER... Basically, we we come up with the ideas together (we have a list of things to steal) and as we come to the chapters, we "brainstorm", elaborating a bunch and adding as many funny bits as we can. Then one of us writes the actual chapter, aka writing in the stuff in between the funny bits. I (Aya) wrote the prologue and am writing the odd chapters, and Robyn writes the even.
Why did we decide to do it this way? Well, we were both playing around with the idea over dinner (yes, we were eating tostadas) and we BOTH wanted to write it... so... yeah. I personally think it's better this way, anyway. For example, the thing with the duck would have never occured to me. I like the duck. The duck is my buddy.
"Damn," said Yusuke, after he and Kuwabara had finished laughing hysterically for about five minutes. "That book must have been really useful, huh?"
"It would have been," agreed Kurama, who had returned just in time to hear what his dress had looked like, and had decided that there was no point in stopping Hiei by that point.
"What do you mean, would have been?" asked Hiei, because he felt the need to confirm his existence.
"Well, it would seem that someone stole it from us, though I'm not really sure if it counts as stealing if it wasn't really ours in the first place."
"Stole it? From YOU guys?"
"Yes, it was really quite odd. We had it in an extremely inconspicuous sack, and we put the sack down somewhere for no longer than five minutes, and when we opened it back at our hideout, there was only a bunch of potatoes."
---Elsewhere---
"Jin?"
"Yes, Touya?"
"Where did you get this book?"
"Oh, that. Forgot about that. Some jerk took my potatoes. Hardly a fair trade, if you ask me. Never did see those potatoes again."
"???"
---Back with the Tantei---
"Hey, Kurama," said Yusuke suddenly. "What's the stupidest thing you've ever stolen?"
"That was completely random," commented Kuwabara.
Kurama chuckled. "I would have to say the Orb of Ukabuka."
"The WHAT?!" three voices simultaneously yelled.
"The Orb of Ukabuka."
"What kind of a name is Ukabuka?" asked Yusuke incredulously.
"A stupid one," answered Hiei. "So, what is this... Orb of Ukabuka?"
"Well..."
---
"Oi, Kuronue."
"What."
"I'm bored."
"Then that makes two of us.
The two sat in silence for a while.
"Oi, Kuronue."
"What."
"Let's steal the Orb of Ukabuka."
"WHAT?!"
"Let's steal the Orb of Ukabuka."
"I heard you the first time! Why would you want to do THAT? I mean, it's the source of Lord Ukabuka's power, but it's completely useless to anyone else! Namely, us."
"Your loss," said Youko Kurama, shrugging.
-
The legendary kitsune bandit darted through the halls while Mission Impossible played in the background.
"Where is that music coming from?" Kurama wondered vaguely as he reached the room in which the orb was kept. So far, the security had been pretty good. So good, in fact, that Youko actually had a little difficulty getting through it, which in itself is impressive.
Regardlessly, it hadn't stopped him. Kurama slid the door open and peered inside. His eyes widened. He had been expecting something perhaps about the size of his fist, but this thing... it was at least a meter and a half in diameter. The golden orb had its own energy, as well.
Well, he wasn't about to turn around and give up, though. He quickly scanned the room for traps.
There were a lot.
Eh, no problem. They weren't designed to trap PLANTS, after all.
The kitsune carefully sent some vines over to thoroughly wrap themselves around the orb. Once he was sure it was secure, he willed the plants to lift it, and brought it back to where he stood.
Okay, now what? It's a lot easier to make your getaway with a small orb than a big one. He hadn't exactly been planning for the latter. He bit his lip. He could just forget about concealing it somehow. It wasn't exactly inconspicuous to casually stroll out the door with a big, golden ball that pulsed with enough energy to put a lighthouse to shame.
Hmm.
He'll just have to not be seen. He shrugged, and walked back through the corridor, his vines and the orb trailing behind. "Perhaps this wasn't such a great idea."
Suddenly, Kurama froze. He heard footsteps, and the hall was empty...
A green, low-level demon guard strolled by, whistling to himself and swinging his club.
His footsteps faded.
Kurama lowered himself and the orb from the ceiling.
-
He was almost there. Just a little further, and he was home free. When... "What is that guard doing out here in the middle of the night...?" This time, he didn't even have a ceiling to cling to. There was nowhere to hide, the guard had a torch, and was coming closer...
"Good evening," said the guard as she passed.
Thank goodness it's a women. Youko Kurama was 'casually' leaning and the vine-covered orb behind him. He flashed his winning smile, guaranteed to leave any girl's brain to the equivalent of the consistency of oatmeal. "Good evening."
The guard's eyes widened, and if she hadn't had such rigorous training, she probably would've dropped to her knees right then and there and started drooling. She looked away, pulled herself together, and walked on before she did just that.
Kurama let out a slight sigh of relief as soon as she was gone. Okay, time to go...
-
Kurama and Kuronue stood outside their hideout, looking at the Orb of Ukabuka.
"Satisfied?" asked Kuronue.
"Yes."
There was a brief silence.
"Remind me again, WHY exactly did I decide to steal this thing?"
"You were bored."
"Ah, yes."
---
Yusuke and Kuwabara were cracking up, and Hiei was smirking. Kurama was wearing a somewhat embarrassed grin.
"Kitsune no baka," commented the fire demon.
"Oh, hush, you."
------
A/N: Perhaps we should explain to how exactly we're going about writing this. WELL, you see, since it really doesn't work for us to write TOGETHER... Basically, we we come up with the ideas together (we have a list of things to steal) and as we come to the chapters, we "brainstorm", elaborating a bunch and adding as many funny bits as we can. Then one of us writes the actual chapter, aka writing in the stuff in between the funny bits. I (Aya) wrote the prologue and am writing the odd chapters, and Robyn writes the even.
Why did we decide to do it this way? Well, we were both playing around with the idea over dinner (yes, we were eating tostadas) and we BOTH wanted to write it... so... yeah. I personally think it's better this way, anyway. For example, the thing with the duck would have never occured to me. I like the duck. The duck is my buddy.
