Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters. sigh Anyone know where I can find a Duo plushy?

A/N: This chapter is uncharacteristically short. This chapter and the one after it were originally one single chapter, but I broke it apart for the sake of my readers' sanity. Enjoy!


Chapter Eighteen: Crazy or Not

Of course, since I had the flashback during school, Diana and Jon were notified. I hadn't told them about the first flashback I had had the first week I was living with them and I had been hoping to keep my flashbacks a secret from them. The secret ended when the school nurse called them after my flashback. Jon came and picked me up from school early. The nurse suggested that I should take a few days off to rest and recuperate.

"It was a flashback, not a freaking head injury," I snapped at her when she suggested it. "It's nothing to recuperate from."

The nurse frowned and turned to Jon. "You must understand, I'm suggesting he stay home for a few days in lieu of having him admitted to the Psychology Ward at the hospital."

"You think I should go into the loony bin?!" I cried. "I'm not crazy!"

"Duo, that's enough," Jon said. "We'll keep him home for a few days, if you think that will be best."

"I do," the nurse said with a nod. "And perhaps when he returns, you could supply us with his complete file of his mental health records. There are gaping holes in the ones you gave us."

I snorted. I was tempted to tell her that she only had part of my mental health records because most of my mental problems came from fighting in the war as a Gundam pilot. But I kept my mouth shut.

"Now, Miss Van Buren, you need to go back to class," the nurse said, turning her attention to Jericho who was standing next to me, her hand around my wrist. She hadn't broken physical contact with me since she had gotten off the phone with Heero.

Jericho shook her head. "No. I want to stay with Duo."

"Duo's going home, dear. Now, come on, I'll write you a pass to your class. Where are you going?" When Jericho didn't make a move to head back to class, the nurse frowned. "Jericho, don't be difficult. Go to class."

"I'm going home with Duo," Jericho insisted. "I told him I wouldn't leave."

"Jericho," Jon said, putting a hand on Jericho's shoulder. "It's alright. I'm with Duo now. You should go back to class."

Jericho frowned and reluctantly let go of my wrist. "Don't worry," she whispered into my ear. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

I gave her a pleading look. I was still shaken up by the flashback, and I didn't want her to leave. She was like my priest outfit—familiar and comforting.

Jon and I drove home in silence. When we got home, Jon pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. Neither of us got out of the car.

"Duo, tell me something," Jon said after a few moments of silence "Have you had other flashbacks here? Is that why you've been having problems sleeping?"

"I've had one flashback besides this one," I replied slowly. "About a week after I got here. I've been having problems sleeping for other reasons. I haven't been having flashbacks, but every time I fall asleep it's like all my memories just sort of come out and play."

"Why didn't you tell us?" he asked.

I paused and looked over at Jon. "Do you know what that's like?" I asked him. "To know that if you go to sleep, you're going to have to see someone die all over again, or to have to relive a battle, or whatever. Do you know how that feels? To be scared of sleeping?"

A look of deep pity and sorrow came over Jon's face. "No Duo, I'm sorry, I don't."

I sighed. "And you wonder why I never told you about the first flashback," I said bitterly as I got out of the car.

I went straight to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I flung myself onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. A few minutes later, Jon came to the door and knocked, saying he wanted to talk to me.

"I don't wanna talk right now," I replied. "Just leave me alone."

After a few minutes, Jon left. A while later I heard footsteps outside my door and then a knock.

"I told you, Jon! I don't wanna talk. Go away."

"Good thing I'm not Jon," said Jericho's voice from the other side of the door. "Com'n Duo, let me in. I promise I won't make you talk. I'll just sit with you."

I stood up and opened the door. Jericho stepped in. She was carrying both her backpack and mine. Since she was a girl, I had to leave my bedroom door open, but that was all right now that she was there.

We sat down on my bed, me with my back up against the headboard, her with her back leaning against the wall.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I asked her.

Jericho grinned at me. "I called my mom and told her what had happened. She came right over and got me. She said I can stay with you today, but I have to go back to school tomorrow."

I smiled a small smile at her. "Your mom is awesome."

"Yeah, I know."

We sat in silence for a while. I wasn't in the mood to talk, and Jericho could sit for hours on end silently. It was nice just to be in each other's company. I thought a lot during that time of silent contemplation, and finally I decided to tell Jericho something important.

"You know what triggered my flashback today?" I asked her.

She looked up from her thoughts and shook her head.

"The day that Hilde died," I explained. "We got into a fight and she ran out of the house. She ran out because of me. The fight was my fault…" Jericho reached over and squeezed my hand. "When you ran out of the room today, I was scared I'd never get the chance to tell you I was sorry or anything. I was scared I was going to loose you."

"Oh Duo, you don't have to worry about loosing me. It's a lot harder to get rid of me than that. I mean, ask James. He's been trying to get rid of me for years," Jericho said, scooting over so that she was sitting next to me.

"Yeah, why is that? Why does he hate you so much?" I asked.

Jericho shook her head and didn't answer my question. Instead, she pulled out our History books. "Just because you have to stay home the next couple of days, Duo, doesn't mean you get to slack off with homework."

I frowned at her response, but didn't pursue the topic. I took my history book and opened it. I read the assigned section silently for a bit, and then looked up at Jericho. She was concentrating hard on the book, absorbing everything she was reading. She looked like some sort of Greek statue withthat serious expression on her face.

"So, what did everyone at school have to say about my little fit today?" I asked her.

"They all think you're crazy," she replied without looking up.

"Oh. What about you?"

She looked up and cocked her head to one side. She reminded me of a bird when she did that. "What about me?" she asked.

I smiled at her. "Do you think I'm crazy or not?"

She chuckled. Reaching over, she pulled lightly on one of my bangs. "It doesn't matter to me if you're crazy or not, Duo. I just know I wouldn't want you any other way." She smiled at me and then turned her attention back to her History book. "How far have you gotten in the chapter?"

I went back to doing my homework, glad that Jericho would accept me for who I was, and not for how I acted.