Chapter Twenty-Five: Christmas Eve
"Duo! Hurry up! The Van Burens will be here any minute!" Jon's voice echoed up the stairwell and into the bathroom. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, fixing my hair. It hung in it's normal braid down my back, but for some reason one of my bangs just didn't want to do what I wanted it to. The more I tried wetting it down and putting gel in it, the wilder it behaved.
"Oh Duo, you look great!" Diana said as she came to the doorway to watch me. "That sweater looks great on you!" She was talking about a red sweater with a black strip across the chest. It was something Hilde had bought for me, but I had never worn it since it was too nice for me to wear while working at the junkyard.
Diana watched me for a few moments as I continued to fuss with my one stubborn bang. Then, when I had almost given up out of frustration, she walked over, picked up a comb, got it wet, and then ran it through the section of hair. Immediately, the bang shifted position and fell exactly where and how I wanted it to.
My jaw dropped. "How did you do that?" I cried, looking from Diana to the mirror and back again with a look of shock on my face.
She smiled at me. "Just something you pick up after many years for doing your own hair." The doorbell sounded and she smiled at me. "I bet that's the Van Burens. Go on now, you don't want to make them late."
I went downstairs and opened the door. Jericho was standing there wearing a black skirt with sliver snowflakes on it and an emerald green satin top that looked really great on her. She was wearing her hair down and had curled it a little around her face, giving her an angelic look. She was holding a large cookie tin
"Hey Jericho," I said, grinning at her. "Lemme get my coat and shoes. Sorry I'm running a little late."
"Oh, no rush," she replied as she stepped inside.
Diana came down the stairs as I pulled on my nice shoes. "Jericho, you look wonderful," she beamed. "I love that shirt."
Jericho grinned and held the tin out to Diana. "Here's some cookies my mom and I made this afternoon. My mom thought they'd be a good breakfast tomorrow."
I looked up, confused. "Aren't we gonna have waffles and ice cream for breakfast tomorrow?" I asked, looking up at Diana, slightly confused.
My foster mother smiled down at me. "Yeah, we are. Jon just tends to get up early on Christmas, so he'll have these to tide him over until we're ready for breakfast."
"Oh," I said, shrugging and I turned back to tying my shoes. I heard Jericho giggle, but she had a tendency to laugh at anything I did, depending on her mood.
"Well, I have to get back to my own baking. Tell your mom that we'll be at yoru house tomorrow around noon for dinner, okay Jericho? Have fun at church kids," Diana said, disappearing into the kitchen.
I stood up, and Jericho suddenly pouted. "I don't like it when you wear those shoes," she said.
Surprised, I looked down at my feet. I was wearing a pair of khakis and my red sweater, and I had thought my shoes matched. "What, do they not go with what I'm wearing?" I asked, slightly panicked. I had spent a good hour trying to find an outfit to wear to church. I had wanted to look really good just for Jericho.
Jericho laughed again. She was in a good mood tonight. "No, silly," she replied. "Those shoes make you even taller. I feel short when you wear them."
"That's 'cause you are short, Jericho." I grinned at her and when she pouted again, I laughed.
.0.
Jericho and her family went to a protestant church (1) about ten blocks from their house. I knew Jericho went faithfully every Sunday, but her parents didn't go as often as she did. She explained to me that her biological parents always took her to church when she was little, so it was important to Jericho to continue to go. "It's sort of like keeping their memory alive, I guess," she had said with a shrug and a smile.
The church was old, made of stone with architecture that harked back to the gothic cathedrals. It seemed strange, since I was only used to the more modern looking churches that were on the colonies. Even the Maxwell Church had been built as a simply as possible so that it could be converted to another type of building such as a house or a business without much problem. The thing with the buildings on a space colony was that once they were there, they were there. There was no room to build new facilities, and tearing down a building and putting up a new one was too expensive. So all the buildings on colonies were built with the idea in mind that they would have to be easy to convert to a different use.
The alter of Jericho's church was very similar to the alter that had been in the Maxwell church except that the Virgin Mary was nowhere to be seen. Everywhere there were candles burning, and the organ was playing quietly. Jericho led me down a side aisle and motioned for me to sit. I sat right at the end of the pew with Jericho on my right, and her parents sat down on her other side.
The service hadn't started yet, and there were people milling around. People walked around and talked with everyone else, but very few came over to Jericho and her family. In fact, most were sending strange glances our way. I noticed that a lot of kids from school were among the other parishioners, included Jeff, Brian, and Kristin.
The organ music grew louder and everyone moved to their seats.
Jericho had to basically lead me by the hand through the service. I hadn't been in church since I was eight, and during that time I usually just sat drawing pictures on the church bulletin. Jericho's church involved a lot of standing up, saying something out loud, sitting down, silent moments of prayer, and then standing up again to sing a hymn or two. The dim candlelight lit the entire church with a soft light, and the sounds of the organ and the congregation singing were awe inspiring, but it didn't feel right for me to be there.
The longer I was in that church, the greater the threat of a flash back grew. I didn't understand why, but all the talk of peace on earth and good will to men and a Savior for the world was making me edgy. The war was over, but where was my peace? If everything was supposed to be so good between men, then why was Jericho treated so horribly in school? And if there was a Savior, had I missed the rescue boat? If God was so good, why was I still suffering?
I tried to push the thoughts out of my head, but the more I tried, the more I felt a flash back coming on. The last thing I needed was to go into a fit in the middle of a Christmas Eve service.
During the next hymn, I leaned over so that my lips were barely an inch from Jericho's ear. Her hair smelled like vanilla again. "I have to leave," I told her. "I think I'm just gonna walk home."
She turned to me, a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?" she whispered back.
I shrugged, stepped out of the pew and went down the side aisle. I got my coat from the coatroom and walked out of the church into the night. I took a deep breath of the cold air and looked around. It was a dark, clear night with no moon. A perfect night for me to walk and think.
I started down the street, heading for home. A moment later, the sound of a door opening and closing made me stop and turn. Jericho was following me, pulling on her coat as she hurried down the sidewalk towards me. She was frowning and I knew she was worrying about me.
I stopped and waited for her without her asking. From the look on her face, I knew she would have come with me even if I told her not to.
"Hey," she said, stuffing her hands into her pockets. She hadn't brought her gloves with her. "Where are you going?"
"Home," I replied. "Aren't your parents wondering where you are?"
She shrugged. "I told them we were going for a walk, and we'd probably end up at your house. Mom told me to call if I decide to stay out too late."
"But it's Christmas Eve," I said. "You should be with your family."
She smiled at me. "I should be with whom ever I think I should be. And right now, that's you."
I nodded and we kept walking down the street. We walked in silence for a long while, looking around at the decorated houses and the snow covered trees and bushes. I knew Jericho wanted to talk to me, but she was waiting for a good place to talk.
After a while, we reached the park a few blocks up from Jericho's house. It was shorter to cut across the park than it was to go around, so we went through the gate and started down the path through the park. As we passed the playground, Jericho suddenly grabbed my wrist. Surprised, I stopped and looked down at her, wondering what she wanted.
"Com'n, Duo," she said smiling a little. "Let's go swing."
I opened my mouth to point out how cold it was and that we should probably get inside, but she was dragging me over to the swings before I could say anything. We wiped off the swing seats and sat down.
"So, what's up?" Jericho asked. "You're not the kind of guy that would walk out of a church service without a good reason."
"What about you? You're not that kind of girl either."
"I asked first," she said, sticking her tongue out at me.
I sighed and shook my head. "I dunno. I guess I'm not really into this whole 'God is so amazing thing' with Christmas. There's just so much that has happened to me that makes me so…" I groped for the right word, but there wasn't one. I twisted the swing around, frowning down at my feet.
"Frustrated," she supplied. It wasn't a suggestion. She said it like it was a fact, like she knew exactly what I felt. "You don't understand how he could be so loving and all that jazz if all you've ever felt has been pain and suffering. Being happy on Christmas just doesn't make sense when you look at life and the hellhole it is."
I looked up at Jericho, shocked. I had never heard her swear before, and here she was swearing in a conversation about God. But what shocked me more was that what she had said had been exactly what I had been feeling.
She smiled sadly at me when she saw my surprised look. "Stuff gets to me too, Duo. All this stuff with James and everyone, sometimes I just want to curl up in a little hole and die. You were right when you told me a few weeks ago that I hide in my books and I don't want to face the world. I guess putting all my energy into studying kind of shoves my social problems onto the back burner."
"I didn't mean it when I said it," I insisted. "I was just upset."
"You're always upset," Jericho replied. It wasn't mean, it wasn't rude. She was stating the truth, and I knew it. There had rarely been a time since Hilde had died when I wasn't upset. I had thought I had done a good job of hiding it, but Jericho had seen right through me. So had Heero and Diana.
"Yeah, I know," I said, running my hand through my hair. "I just wish things had gone differently."
"Me too," Jericho said nodding. I knew she was watching me play with my bangs. The piece that Diana had managed to tame was wild again, and I was trying to get it back into place. She sighed. "I used to hate Christmas."
I looked up at her, confused. She smiled bitterly and looked out across the snow-covered park. "I really hated Christmas. After my parents died, I didn't want anything to do with it. I wasn't really mad at God. There's no real point in being angry with the guy who controls the universe. He does what He wants, and you can't really change His mind. He knows what He's doing, so what the point in even trying, you know? But I hated Christmas with a passion. I hated seeing all the other kids celebrating with their family, and I was stuck in foster homes where no one knew what I was going through. I refused to celebrate Christmas with anyone. I felt like I was betraying my parents if I did."
"Well, you celebrate now," I pointed out. "What changed?"
Jericho shrugged. "I got sick of being depressed. I needed to move on. Around that same time, I was moved to the Christophers' and I met Megan and David. Megan had just had a bad miscarriage. Real bad. She can't have any more kids. So, they were looking for someone to be their kid, and I was looking for people to be my parents. I guess God works in mysterious ways. When the Van Burens offered to adopt me, I was sure what I wanted. But then I realized that Just cause they were going to be my new parents didn't mean they were going to replace my biological parents. No one could do that. What they could do, though, is pick up where my real parents left off. Kind of carry on, make sure I was happy and taken care of." She suddenly reached over and brushed the lock of hair that was giving me problems out of my face. Her hand rested on the side of my head, over my ear. "Duo, you'll never forget Hilde. But you can't stay stuck on her. You still have a lot to live for. No one could replace her. I don't think anyone would want to. But there are those of us who wouldn't mind picking up where she left off and make sure you're always happy. Understand?"
I stared at her, and the rest of the world melted away. All that I was aware of was her sitting so close to me, her hand resting on my head, her big eyes full of concern and hope for me. And something clicked in me. Jericho was right, and Diana had been right a few days before. Hilde wouldn't want me to pine after her till I was old and gray. She would have wanted me to move on.
…there are those of us who wouldn't mind picking up where she left off and make sure you're always happy…Jericho's words were echoing in my brain. Was she talking about people in general? Or had she been talking about herself?
"Yeah Jericho, I understand. Thanks," I said, smiling a genuine smile at her.
"No problem Duo." She let her hand fall from my head and stood up. "Com'n. Let's go. I'm freezing."
I nodded and got up too.
We walked back to my house, talking and laughing. It was amazing how easily we could slide from a serious conversation into a regular one. Half way to my house, Jericho tossed a snowball at me, and we spent the rest of the walk back in a huge snowball fight that didn't end until we reached the front door.
"Diana! Jon! I'm home!" I called as we entered the house. Diana appeared in the doorway of the front room, a glass of wine in her hand.
"Hey kids," she said, smiling. "You're back early."
"We were getting antsy, so we went for a walk," I explained.
"I see. What are you planning on doing now?"
I shrugged and looked to Jericho. "Wanna watch a movie?"
"Sure," Jericho shrugged back.
Diana smiled and sipped her wine. "Jon brought home some pretty cool movies he thought you'd like," she said to me. "They're up in the TV room." She glanced at the clock on the wall of the front room. "It's almost nine o'clock, Jericho. Do your parents know where you are?"
Jericho nodded and followed me as I headed up the stairs. "Yeah. They said I could stay as long as I want."
"Okay. Have fun. I'll bring up a snack in a bit."
We went upstairs to the TV room. On top of the TV were three movies. Jericho picked them up and looked at them.
"Cool!" She said, grinning. "The original Star Wars Trilogy! Have you ever seen them, Duo?"
I shook my head as I unfolded the futon. Jericho liked to lie down when she watched movies. "Nope. I've heard of them though."
"We have to watch all of them tonight then," Jericho decided, putting in the first video.
For a movie made before computer graphics, Star Wars was really good. I liked the actions scenes, and Darth Vader had to have been the coolest villain I had ever seen.
Jericho and I lay side-by-side on the futon, pillows under our chests and chins on our arms. I noticed that towards the end of the first movie, Jericho was yawning. We put in the second movie immediately when the first one was done. I kept looking over at Jericho whose eyelids were starting to droop. Then, when I looked at her about half way through the second movie, she was fast asleep. I didn't blame her. It was almost midnight, and I was pretty exhausted too. I was starting to yawn a lot, too.
The movie was still going, but I put my head down on my pillow and watched Jericho sleep. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, and I couldn't resist reaching out and brushing some of her hair out of my face. Jericho's eyes opened slightly at my touch and she smiled sleepily at me. I had a feeling she wasn't really awake, but I smiled back at her anyway. Then she did something that surprised me. She moved over so that she was right next to me, her head cuddled into my shoulder. She then closed her eyes and fell right back asleep.
I laid there for a few minutes, reveling in her being so close to me. Then, between how warm and comfortable I was, and how tired I was, my eyes began to drift shut, and soon I was sound asleep.
I woke up briefly in the middle of the night to Diana talking on the phone. "…They're asleep right now. You should see them, Megan. They're all cuddled up to each other. They remind me of a couple of puppies…No, it's no trouble. Jericho will be happy to be here in the morning anyway…. Yeah, Jon can drive her home tomorrow…okay. Good night, Megan. Merry Christmas."
Diana came into the room, and I pretended to be asleep. She put a quilt over Jericho and me. "Sweet dreams you two," she whispered as she turned off the light and left the room.
I smiled and snuggled closer to Jericho, gingerly draping my arm over her waist. And when I fell back asleep, I did dream sweet dreams.
(1) Protestant churches—most people know this already, but a protestant church is any church that is not Roman Catholic (the type of church Duo was raised in) or Greek Orthodox. I modeled Jericho's church after a Lutheran church my friend goes to. I thought it would be neat if Duo got experience at a non-Catholic church.
