"Six chiefs of the Cherubim: Ophaniel, Rikbiel, Zophiel, Cherubiel, Raphael, Gabriel, and Lucifer." John rubbed his forehead. What was in the water in heaven? "I already dealt with Gabriel and I don't care where he is. I've talked with Satan, and I don't really care to again. Now Andrew and I have a complete set of psychos for my collection."
He looked over the books spread before him, what scrolls he had found that held any mention of Zoroaster and his prediction. If the Islamic tradition was true, there were over 700 quadrillion cherubim and that was an army not even John Constantine wanted to pick a fight with.
He'd never seen a Seraph; they were the highest choir of angels and apparently remained sane even after talking directly to God. The Cherubim on the other hand were going crazy in record amounts. Maybe they were tired of being second in line or carrying out the will of God. Or maybe they were just tired of singing ceaseless praises of glory. Who knew? But there was a rash of them that weren't right in the head and the first one had been Lucifer.
Constantine looked over at Elizabeth. She was curled on the folding chair, arms around her knees, drawn close to her chest. She hadn't made a peep in an hour. He reached out and took her hand, found she was cold as ice.
"You still with me?" he asked, trying to bring her back. Her gaze slowly flicked to him, the blue of her eyes so very clear.
"He wants to beget a son, onto a virgin, to right the world once more."
"Jesus was born of a virgin already and died on the cross while he was at it. The world is saved, if that's what you believe."
"Andrew wants his own son. He wants to be God."
"God complex." John realized he was still holding her hand but not being blasted. Surely she couldn't be holding her shields up after all that. "That means the scales are tipped. God's no longer got their backs." He turned the information over in his head a moment. "How did you get that job?"
Elizabeth looked around for a moment, obviously trying to remember. "It came to me, in a premonition. I was desperate for a job. I tried everything, but nothing panned out. I'd fallen asleep at the table, and I saw myself looking down at the paper under me and there was the ad. When I woke up, it was just like I saw. I called and they hired me over the phone, which I thought was a little odd…"
"Influenced." Constantine shook his head. They'd known what she was long before she'd ever set foot in the building. "They directed you. Brought you to them." He swore quietly. Then another clue hit him. "The demon in your apartment."
"What about it?"
"Hell knows. Then know Andrew needs a virgin. It was trying to influence you, break that purity. Satan must be pretty unhappy that an angel is trying to take over. His son just tried to take Earth for himself and now another cherub is trying to have his cake and eat it too. That must so be pissing the old man off!"
Elizabeth stared at him, carefully. "The demon tried to make me sleep with you so I'd no longer be a virgin?"
"Yeah. Remove one of the pieces and you can't finish the puzzle. You yourself said virgins in L.A. were as mythical as unicorns, and a born-again virgin isn't enough for Andrew's plan." John slid back to the books. "When virginity is taken, even God Himself cannot remake it. It's not a virtue either, so it cannot be regained through penance."
He realized she was still holding his hand then. It was cool in his grasp. He looked back over at her and found her looking at him.
"Oh no. Not me." He shook his head. "I'm a one way ticket to hell sweetheart. Besides, this would classify as fornication, and sex is supposed to be reserved for the marriage bed. A sin for sure, not sure if it's a damning one, but still a sin." One I've already committed myself many times over. He would have to make it feel so good then be all 'No! Bad!' Another cosmic practical joke played by God!
"Then what? If I stay a virgin I'm still in play." Elizabeth drew her hand back suddenly, slowly. "What other way is there?"
"Marriage." He felt himself say. His mouth seemed to move of its own free will. "We have to get married." Oh hell no I did not just say that!
"That's real romantic of you, John." Elizabeth frowned. "I know you're probably not a traditional guy or anything, but a proposal would have been nice."
First Satan's nasty punch line, removing the cancer that choked his lungs by hand, now God was laughing His ass off by forcing John Constantine to get married. Deities were real pranksters. He so would have given them both the finger again, but what was the use.
"We only have to be married in the eyes of God, then nothing is broken. It'll all be right in the big book." He looked at her, as serious as he could be. "I wouldn't even bring it up if it wasn't the only chance we've got. If there was a way to just unmake you a virgin without spiritual consequences, I would."
"I wish this was one of those times you were being sarcastic." She sighed, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "All right. John Constantine, would you do me the honor and marry me?"
John smirked. "You didn't get on one knee. Some traditionalist you are."
