Note:A day in the life with Chi… I wrote this because I wanted to get to know Chi better… This takes place when she begins to realize that there is something, someone, inside of her mind.. Rated PG.
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Mirror, Mirror
Chi sits on the floor and watches Hideki eating. Plum sits on my shoulder twirling her ponytail around her finger. Chi looks at the clock. It is almost eight. Chi can tell time now. Hideki says that it is good to know the time to that Chi will know when Hideki gets back from work. Miss Hibiya says that Hideki works to hard. She says that Hideki needs a vay-kay-shun… Chi does not know what a vay-kay-shun is. Chi does not know a lot of things. But whatever a vay-kay-shun is, Miss Hibiya thinks that Hideki needs one… Chi wonders if you can buy a vay-kay-shun in a store. Maybe Chi should get one for Hideki. Today is Saturday. Chi is learning about the days in the week. Hideki teaches me many things. Chi knows that today is Saturday. Miss Hibiya says that on Saturdays most people don't have to go to work. They have days for themselves. Hideki does not have days for Hideki. Hideki works hard and doesn't get enough money. Chi knows what money is. Chi knows that many people have it, but Hideki does not. Chi knows that now. Chi learns many things each day. Hideki is proud that Chi is learning so quickly. When Hideki is proud of Chi he rubs my head and my inside gets all bubbly inside Chi, making my face smile. Now Chi wants to know what a vay-kay-shun is. If Chi knows what it is, maybe Chi can get one for Hideki.
"Hideki." Chi says.
"Mmmmm?" Hideki answers, mouth full of food. Chi cannot eat food. Chi does not know why. Chi will have to ask Hideki later.
"What is a vay-kay-shun?" Chi asks, "Is it a plant? Animal?" Hideki makes a snorting sound and turns away. Chi thinks he is laughing and trying not to. Chi does not understand. If something is funny why does not Hideki laugh out loud? Chi doesn't know what is so funny, but if it makes Hideki laugh, it must be good.
"Can you buy a vay-kay-shun at the store?" Chi asks. Hideki smiles at Chi making Chi's insides feel warm.
"Where did you learn that word?" He asks.
"Miss Hibiya… Miss Hibiya says that Hideki needs a vay-kay-shun… But what is a vay-kay-shun?" Hideki's face doesn't smile now. He looks tired. But he sleeps all night. Chi knows that Hideki needs sleep. Chi does not need sleep. Chi does not understand. Chi has so many questions. But Chi will wait. For now Chi wants to know what a vay-kay-shun is…
"A vacation." Hideki says, "It's time off from work."
"Time off from work?"
"Yes." Hideki answers, "It's when you take time off from work and you rest and have fun." Hideki sighs, "I haven't had a vacation in a long time." Then he smiles, "And alas I can't buy one at the store… As if I could afford it…" Just then Plum jumps off Chi's shoulder and dances on the floor.
"Time to wake up Master!" She sings. Chi thinks that Plum has a pretty voice. Chi does not know how to sing. Maybe Plum will teach Chi how to sing later.
"Time to go Master!" Plum continues, "You will be late if can go not faster!" Hideki groans and picks up his things. I stand up, the hem of my shirt swishing around my knees. The bubbly feeling is gone. Hideki will leave for work soon and will not come home until very late. Plum goes with Hideki so I will have no one to play with. Plum looks up at me. She knows that I am sad. I know what sad is. It is an empty feeling. An alone feeling. Chi does not like to be alone. Plum holds out her hand. The tip of my little finger fits into that hand. Plum sings to me.
"Good-bye, good-bye, good-bye-eye-eye
Good-bye my friend to you.
Good fortune everywhere you go
And all you say and do." Then Plum hops into Hideki's bag. Hideki comes out and holds something out to me.
"Chi…" Hideki says, "You've been living with me for over a month and I wanted to get you something… A present."
"A present?" Chi asks.
"Yeah." Hideki says, blushing. Hideki always blushes when he is embarrassed. Chi does not know why.
"What is it?" Chi asks. Chi wants to know what this present is. Hideki hands Chi an envelope. Inside there is something.
"What is this?" Chi asks. It is bits of paper. Hideki smiles again.
"I didn't know what to get you so I thought this would be nice… It's a little money I saved up… While I'm at work I want you to go and buy yourself something nice… From me… Something that costs up to that amount."
"Money?" Hideki does not have much money. I look up at him. Hideki looks hopeful. The bubbly feeling is back. I throw myself into Hideki's arms. He gives a yell and we are on the floor. I feel a thump-bump in his chest. It is what keeps Hideki moving. If that thump-bump were to stop, Hideki would not move. I do not like thinking such thoughts. They make me want to hold onto Hideki tighter and never let go. Never, never, never. But Chi has to let go. Hideki has work and Hideki doesn't want to be late.
"Have a nice day Hideki." I say. It is one of the first sentences that I ever learned. Hideki lets go. He doesn't want to but he does. Maybe if Hideki gets a vay-kay-shun he'll be able to hold onto Chi and not have to let go. That would be good.
"You have a nice day too Chi." Hideki says. Chi does not know how to respond. Chi does not know how.
"What does that mean?" I ask. Hideki pauses and thinks for a moment.
"Just what it means." He answers, "That you have a nice day. That your day makes you happy. To that you answer 'thank you'." How can a day be happy without Hideki? But I must reply.
"Thank you Hideki." Chi answers. Hideki rubs my head and smiles.
"Good girl Chi. I'll see you tonight." Then Hideki leaves. Chi sits on the floor and hugs my knees. It is darker when Hideki is not around. Chi gets up and go to the bed where Hideki sleeps. I do not need sleep. I do not know why. Maybe it is because I am different than Hideki. I still see the print of his body on the mattress. Without thinking I lay on that imprint and snuggle down into it. I feel a little better. Not as alone anymore. But the feeling doesn't last. Chi gets up and I put on my new blue dress. Miss Hibiya gave it to Chi. I take a brush and run it through my hair like Chi sees Miss Hibiya do. I brush until Chi's hair is smooth. I fold all of my clothes and neatly put them on the shelf that Hideki had cleared off for me. My books are stacked nearly in a corner. Chi restacks them. I love my books. Chi remembers what Hideki had told Chi.
"You can learn more from books that I could ever teach you." Someone is watching Chi… Chi can feel it. Who? Who is watching Chi? There is no one in the house. Someone is watching Chi. I go to the mirror and look at myself. But instead I see a girl dressed head to foot in black. How can this be? Chi is wearing blue today. Her eyes are sad. She knows things. Many things. Things that Chi would be afraid to know. She is not me. But she has Chi's face. How can this be? The girl with my face reaches out. The girl with my face wants to talk to me. A scary feeling fills me. I do not want to talk to the girl with Chi's face. Chi turns away. But the girl with chi's face is still there. When I close my eyes Chi sees her staring back at Chi with those sad eyes. Chi does not understand. Chi is afraid to understand. Chi will go out and buy a new book. Hideki says that it is good to get books so that I can learn. Learning is good. I will buy a book with the money Hideki gave me. I go outside and look around. Chi sees Miss Hibiya sweeping the steps. She looks up and smiles at Chi. She has a pretty smile. Miss Hibiya's smile makes Chi feel all warm inside.
"Where are you off to today Chi?" She asks. I smile. I like Miss Hibiya. She is so kind.
"Chi is going to the bookstore to buy a book. Then Chi will go to the park and read." I say. Miss Hibiya smiles. I smile too.
"Take care of yourself Chi and have a nice day." Chi is glad Hideki taught Chi how to respond.
"Chi will… Thank You." I answer. I run off, my skirts swishing around me. My shoes slap against the ground. Chi slows down and looks around. I see others that are like Chi. But Chi is not like them. They look like Chi. They have ears like Chi's. But they are not like me. Chi is nothing like them. Yuzuki is not like them. Chi is not like Yuzuki. They are not like Yuzuki. Yuzuki is not like Chi. I like Yuzuki. She is so kind. Like Miss Hibiya. I see people with these other. Each one is different. They are not like Hideki or Miss Hibiya or Ms. Shimizu or Shimbo or Minoru. They are different from each other. And yet they are the same. Chi sees the bookstore. The sign says "Yamatani Books". Chi points to it.
"This is the bookstore." I say it. Now I am sure. It is the bookstore. I walk in. I can take my time today. I do not see the books that I usually read. I see a book on a shelf. It is called "The Book of Poems and Quote". It looks interesting. I look at the price. I count the money slowly. I have enough. It is thick and will take Chi a long time to read. I go to the counter. I see the clerk. He smiles at me.
"Hello." He says, "Something new to read I see?" I smile back and not. Chi pays for the book and he gives Chi money back. Change, Hideki explained once. I put the book into my bag and walk to the park. It is early. The sun is warm. I sit down on a bench under a tree. There are little persons playing. Chi sees someone. It is Minoru and Yuzuki. Yuzuki is different from the others. She is like Chi and yet not like Chi. She is more like the others yet she is not. They are walking in the park. Yuzuki is not wearing her apron. Instead she is wearing a dark jacket. She is not wearing her cap over her hair. She sees Chi and smiles. Chi smiles back. She tugs on Minoru's jacket and points. He nods and waves. Minoru does not smile. Chi does not know why. Minoru is always sad. Chi waves back, smiling. They make their way over.
"Hello Chi." Yuzuki says.
"Hello." I say.
"Are you here all alone Chi?" Minoru asks. I nod.
"Hideki has work. Hideki took Plum with him so Chi was all alone. Chi decided to buy a new book and come to the park to read." Minoru and Yuzuki share a look. Chi does not understand what it means.
"What book is it?" Yuzuki asks. I hold it up for them to see.
"Hideki says that it is good for Chi to read new things so that Chi can learn more. Chi decided to buy this. Chi has not started it yet." Minoru and Yuzuki share another look.
"Then we won't keep you Chi." Minoru says.
"Bye Chi." Yuzuki says. I smile.
"Have a nice day Minoru and Yuzuki. "I say.
"Thank you Chi." Yuzuki says. They leave. I open the book. There is a picture. It shows a lovely creature with white hair and a long glittering horn sticking out from between its eyes.
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The Unicorn returns, barely concealed in another's guise
And rings a song sharp and clear; no grey days
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Chi turns the page and I see a little person with pointed ears and beautiful wings. The little person flutters above a flower.
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Think of the happiest things
It's the same as having wings
Think of all the joy you'll find
When you leave this world behind
You can do it if you try
You can fly, you can fly, you can fly
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There are many other poems and quotes. Some I understand, but others confuse Chi. Chi turns the page. There is a girl staring into a mirror, but her reflection is very different from the girl herself. I blink as I see the girl with Chi's face. The girl in the picture is admiring herself.
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Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror, mirror in my hand
Who is the fairest in the land?
Mirror, mirror whose reflection do I see?
Could that girl looking back possibly be me?
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The girl with Chi's face is suddenly there before me. She is so sad. She wants to talk. I don't want to. Chi is afraid. Where is Hideki? Hideki is not there to protect Chi. Hideki is at work. Chi runs all the way home. Chi locks the door. Chi goes to the mirror. There is the girl with Chi's face. She looks sad. So sad. What does the girl with Chi's face want? Chi wants to know. Chi does not like see another person cry. I stare straight into the eyes of the girl with my face. I reach out. The girl with Chi's face reaches out too. Our fingers touch. The girl with Chi's face smiles. Chi smiles too.
"Mirror, mirror
whose reflection do I see?
Could this girl looking back possibly be… Me?"
