Tifa let out a atrocious shout "LAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Cloud, dressed in just a towel encircled around his torso, was sitting in the same room as the others, all clad in either towels or bedsheets. Cid had a towel wrapped around his middle, Barret, sitting eating chicken wings, had a towel tied around him. Beth sat wrapped in a bed-sheet, and next to her, Danielle, who was also clad in a bed-sheet. Vincent sat on the other side of Beth, wearing a towel. Yuffie wore a long comforter, not moving, not wanting anyone to see her. Nanaki and Kukarui weren't bothered, seeing as they never really wore clothing anyways, but they were getting a good laugh at the humans. Everybody's apparel was in the laundry, and poor Tifa was in charge of laundering them.
Sephiroth, as normal, sat in his cage, but he too was draped in a towel, a dishcloth someone had thrown him as a jest. He was barely concealing himself.
Tifa came storming into the main dining hall, she was attired in two hand towels, hardly concealing what they were suppose to, holding up a pair of white underwear. "CLOUD! What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't you WIPE?" She threw the pair of skid marked underpants on Cloud's lap.
"Chocolate Pudding." Cloud said, picking up his underwear and sniffing, then licking the offending stain. This caused Vincent, Danielle and even Beth to gag. Cid grimaced and light up a smoke. Barret gaged on a chicken wing and pushed his plate away.
Tifa turned back to the laundry room, and Beth shouted after her, "Tifa, do you want any help?"
Tifa grumbled, "No, no... I'm good."
Danielle took a moment to peak under Cid's towel. Cid had felt the draft and just glared at the intrusion of personal space.
"Who's idea was it to start a food fight anyways?" Cloud said, "I still have chicken gravy in my hair and I don't even LIKE chicken gravy."
"Do you know how long it's going to take me to get that macaroni and cheese out of my mane?" Nanaki said, scowling. "That stuff is thick."
Beth grumbled, "How about getting ice cream in my gauntlet? I will be lucky if I EVER get this thing unstuck." She made a fist with her gauntlet, not very well, it sort of stuck halfway.
Vincent nodded, "You said it Beth..."
Danielle grumbled, "I got brownies stuck in my wings. The icing gooped up my feathers."
Cid nodded, "I'm sorry, I was meaning to hit Cloud."
Danielle backhanded Cid and turned to face Beth and Vincent.
Sephiroth wailed, "MY HAIR!"
Beth sighed, "We know, we know, you got mashed potatoes in them..."
"Yeah, but I also got a big hunk of half eaten chocolate cake stuck in it!" Sephiroth turned around to show a half-eaten piece of cake with a fork still in it.
"HEY! That's where I put that cake!" Cloud said, walking over and reaching between the bars and grabbing the chocolate cake.
"Cloud, gross... you aren't going to..." Danielle started as Cloud picked Sephiroth's hair out of the half-eaten piece of triple fudge chocolate cake and set down at his chair again.
"And he is..." Beth said as Cloud picked up the fork and put a bite in his mouth.
"AH... good" Cloud smiled.
Tifa came lumbering upstairs with a mixture of clean clothes and cleaned armor. She set down the basket, and didn't notice when her top hand towel dropped.
Sephiroth let out a wolf whistle, and was soon hit by a Dolphin Kick combo by the now topless Tifa. It was several seconds before she realized that she was now... topless.
She quickly grabbed the top part of her outfit and held it up with her arms, "I have Cloud's clothes here and Barret's. And I took a shower, so Barret, your turn." Tifa motioned with her head, "And make sure to get the jello out of you ears."
Barret took his clothes and held onto his bath towel, grumbling as he walked out towards the shower. "Yes Mother..."
Tifa turned around, "What was that?"
Barret scurried on, "Nothing, nothing..."
"Cid, why do you only have ONE shower?" Beth asked, fishing for a response from the now chain smoking man.
"That's all it needs, if we were to stagger our showers... I didn't think that we'd go 'n' start a food fight 'n' all need showers at the same damn time!" Cid said, lighting yet another cig.
Cloud finished his cake and smiled, "A little stale, but good."
Beth wondered, "I wonder what Tseng and Reno are doing... I mean, they were just as bad as we were..."
Flash to Reno
Reno is naked, his back turned, singing in a steaming hot shower, washing his hair as he tries to remove some weirdly placed lettuce and salad dressing from a private place. He is singing 'It's Raining Men.'
Flash to Tseng
Tseng is stain sticking his uniform, his hair in a towel, his body covered in a towel as well. He is just humming.
Flash to the rest of the group
Cloud looked around, "What the fuck?"
Yuffie, over in the corner finished his sentence for him, "Was THAT?"
Beth smirked, "It's called a meanwhile flash..."
Everyone stared at her.
"Nothing, really." Beth said.
Vincent reached up with his flesh hand to rub his temple and finds a wad of dried mash potatoes in his hair. "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" He screams. "It is so not fair!"
Beth smirked, "It was fun at the time."
Danielle smiled, trying with pain to dislodge a hunk of dried broccoli soup from her wing, and she ended up a few feathers out in the process. "GOD DAMN IT!"
Barret appeared at the doorway, in his normal clothes, completely cleaned. "Next?"
Cloud hopped up, losing his towel in the process, and hence, flashing everyone.
"Boy... what does Tifa see in that dinky little thing?" Beth said.
"I don't know, maybe she thinks she can raise it from the dead..." Danielle said.
"Hey, I rose Vincent's from the dead..." Beth smiled, and Vincent just blushed.
"T. M. I. Beth, T. M. I." Danielle lit a cigar and inhaled.
Cloud blushed and grabbed his clothes before running off to get into the shower.
Seconds later there was a scream from Cloud that sounded a lot like, "BARRET THAT'S RANK!"
Barret just smirked, "I had to take a dump, so?"
Tifa, coming up the stairs again, just shook her head. "Here, another load... and if you want the remaining people to have any hot water, try to keep the time to a minimum, could you?"
Beth smirked, "I guess we can just wash Sephiroth last then..."
Sephiroth perked up, "What? I can't get my one wing wet, it'll shrink!"
Tifa sighed and walked back downstairs.
Vincent laughed, "Sort of defeats the purpose of wings if you have just one anyways, right?"
Sephiroth threw a moldy fish stick, that he had found somewhere on his body, at Vincent. Vincent in turn dodged and the fish stick hit Beth between the eyes.
"Danielle... care to help me prepare his bath?" Beth said.
Danielle smiled and both women stood and went to the kitchen, to fill a big tub, an old wash tub, with ice to melt.
"Women..." Barret said, "I am going to my room and write to Marlene..."
Cloud came running up the stairs, his hair plastered to his head. "WHO FLUSHED THE TOILET?"
Tifa, from downstairs, heard him, "I did, let the others have some water..."
Cloud shook his head, "I was done anyways..."
Cid went to the shower next, seeing as his clothes were almost dried downstairs.
Beth and Danielle came back into the dining room and grabbed Sephiroth. Beth grabbed his arm and Danielle grabbed his one wing. Together, they pulled him into the kitchen.
"YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT'SSSSSS COLD! IT'S SO COLD!" Sephiroth's screams were heard just moments later.
"Of course it's cold, cold water is good for your hair and wings..." Danielle said, moving some stray ice cubes around to dip a wash cloth in.
"AAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sephiroth screamed again, and in vain, tried to get out of the tub. Beth had a death grip on his arm with her gauntlet. Danielle scrubbed his wing with the icy water.
"See? It's all coming out and your wing looks sooooo soft..." Danielle smiled, flicking her cigar. "Now, for your face."
Sephiroth growled and the howled as the cold water touched his face. "NO NO NOOOO!"
After Danielle had washed his face, she went to his arms and chest, and again Beth had to hold him down in the frigid waters.
But when Danielle washed his legs and his groin, he shut up, his eyes as wide as dinner plates. If it wasn't for the ice water, he may have enjoyed that too much...
"Now for your hair..." Danielle said, standing up and grabbing something off the stove. A teakettle that the women had set on to boil for his hair. Danielle poured the boiling water on Sephiroth's head, making him howl in pain again. "THAT IS SO NOT FAIR!"
The women scrubbed and scoured his body with a Brillo pad and then washed his hair with shampoo, then rinsed him in icy water. By the time that poor Sephiroth had gotten done with his bath, he had been frozen, boiled, frozen, scoured and frozen more. He thought that if it weren't for the fact that he was dead and frozen, his body would have bled from all the scrubbing.
The two women combed out every snarl and tangle in his hair, causing him imense pain.
And by the time the women threw him back in his cage, unclothed except for a towel, he was white and crisp and smelled clean.
Cloud sniffed the air, "Smells like a daisy."
"Oh, we didn't have soap, so we used dish washer detergent on him." Beth said, "And a brillo pad."
By this time, Cid had returned from the shower, fully dressed now, and Vincent had taken his turn. Tifa had just brought up Yuffie's clothes and had told Cloud that Beth, Danielle's and Sephiroth's would be cleaned last, because they were leather.
Sephiroth sat in his cage and sniffed, "I hate daisies..."
Beth sneered, "Get use to them..."
Yuffie laughed, waiting for her turn in the shower, "I like your hair bow though Sephiroth..."
Everyone there laughed, and before the former 'God' could do anything about the pretty pink and purple hair bows tied in his braids, Danielle grabbed a camera and snapped his picture.
Beth laughed, only to be knocked to the ground in pain. She looked up Sephiroth and snarled, he had both of their pendants.
Beth was holding her stomach as Yuffie came around and pulled Sephiroth's charm off his own neck.
Beth and Sephiroth went on to give each other a beating. Beth hit herself in the groin, Sephiroth howled in pain.
"What's up with that?" Danielle wondered.
"If they take off those necklace thingies, the other twin can feel the pain that the other one has done..." Cloud tried to explain, soap suds still in his hair.
"So, if I hit Beth..." Danielle punched Beth hard in the face, "Sephiroth should feel it?" Sephiroht's head flew to one side, and a few stray teeth flew out of his open mouth.
"Yes..." Beth said, not having felt that punch.
"Cool..." Danielle said, "So if I..." her eyes began to glow. "Hit a limit break?"
Sephiroth cowered in the corner, "Call her off! Call her off!"
Danielle didn't listen to him, and suddenly hit her 'Gates of Hell' limit, the one that Cloud had seen, and felt, earlier that day.
Four goat-demons came out of the opening in the floor and beat the living fuck out of Beth, only Beth didn't feel it, poor Sephiroth felt every punch.
Soon, Sephiroth was nothing more than a pile of old mush on the bottom of his cage.
Danielle called of the demons, and Beth put back on her pendant, feeling horrible.
"ANYONE GOT ANY LIFE2 MATERIA ON THEM?" Beth called, "MEDIC!"
Vincent came strolling up the stairs, fully dressed and armed. Yuffie rushed by him in a blur, it was her turn in the shower. Vincent sighed and used the Life2 materia on Sephiroth, "Why do I keep doing that?"
Sephiroth sighed, curled up in the corner of his cage, crying like a baby, "That was so mean... That was so...so... very, very mean..."
"Ah, I thought you looked cute as some cat-vomit" Danielle said.
Yuffie came rushing up the stairs, "NEXT!"
Cloud had ventured into the kitchen for something to eat. Vincent, Cid, Barret, Cloud, Yuffie and Sephiroth had already been cleaned up, so now it was either Beth's or Danielle's turn.
"I am next..." Beth said, running for the stairs, just as Danielle glared at her.
Beth took a deep breath and beamed, "After Danielle, of course."
Danielle walked downstairs, past Tifa, who handed her clothes. Not hers, Cids nightgown.
Beth sat trying to run fingers through her cake icing and mashed potato encrusted hair. She pulled a good handful of her hair out as she pulled her hand away. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING STUPID HELL YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH!" Beth screamed.
Cid was even impressed at the woman's outburst. He applauded.
Cloud came out of the kitchen with a cheese sandwich with mustard. On potato roll. Yellow, yellow and oh, yeah, more yellow.
"Cloud likes yellow.." Vincent said.
"No? Really? SAY IT ISN'T SO!" Beth said sarcastically.
Danielle came upstairs wearing Cid's nightshirt.
Cid's mouth dropped open. "W...w...w...why are you wearing my nightshirt?"
"Because... I am not going to be able to clean the leather tonight... not all of it!" Tifa said, walking upstairs to hand Beth and Sephiroth something to wear.
"Joy... isn't this Aerith's old stuff?" Sephiroth grimaced as he held up a frilly little nightie.
Beth nodded, "Yeah, but I got Tifa's nightgown."
Cloud perked up, "What? What are you wearing Tifa?"
Tifa smiled, fully dressed, "I know, I'll just sleep in my clothes tonight, I just had my shower before Beth jumped in, so I'm all set. But leather is hard to wash.
Danielle smirked at Cid, "If I am wearing this... what are YOU wearing?"
Cid's jaw hit the floor as Beth walked by Cid, patting him on the back. "Have a good night Cid."
Cid couldn't speak, he just stared at Danielle.
Danielle smiled, and told everyone "Good night." Then she grabbed Cid by the belt and drug him to his room, puffs of smoke showing the way they went.
Vincent let out a sigh, "Man, I wish I could get some..."
Cloud laughed, "Dead can do that?"
Vincent hissed at Cloud and stood up. "Yes, the dead do get lucky..."
Nanaki thought for a moment, "Vincent... Beth is wearing Tifa's nightgown..."
Vincent smiled, "Of this I am aware..."
Nanaki sighed, "I hope you get what you want."
Vincent groaned, "We may have to, our room is right below Cid's, and I think he may be getting... 'lucky'"
Nanaki laughed as Vincent walked down the stairs to go to his room.
Vincent felt the lid of the coffin open, and felt Beth climb inside. The rhythmical sound on the coming through the ceiling was still going on.
"Vincent, what is that noise?"
Vincent opened his eyes, "Two guesses and the first one doesn't count."
"Danielle and Cid?" Beth snuggled up to him.
"Yeah, and its' disturbing..." Vincent said.
"Well... we could... drown the noise out..."
Danielle grabbed a cigar and a drink from Cid's wet bar. "That was good...thank you"
Cid lit up a cigarette, "No, thank you..." He took a inhale.
Danielle smiled, then she raised an eyebrow. "Cid,"
"Hmm?"
"What the fuck is that noise?"
Cid listened for a moment then slapped his head. "That would be a coffin..."
"What?"
"Well, Beth and Vincent have the room below us..."
"And they sleep in a coffin?" Danielle took a drink.
"That's not all they do..."
"You mean that noise is... them...having..."
Cid nodded.
Danielle came into the chocobo room late in the middle of the night.
"Sephiroth..."
No answer.
"Sephy-sama..."
No answer.
"DAMN IT SEPHIROTH!"
Sephiroth jumped up, "What?" He looked around.
Danielle snuck into his cage.
Ten minutes later, the young ninja was up walking to get a drink of water, when she walked by the chocobo room, and heard something she never wanted to hear in her entire life.
"YES...YES..."
Yuffie's eyes widened and she decided that she wasn't that thirsty after all. She ran back to her room, thinking that Sephiroth was raping one of the poor birds.
"Man, that was so good, even the birds need a cigarette," Danielle said, looking at the birds who were still watching them.
"Uh-huh..." Sephiroth said, his eyes glazed over.
Just as he opened his mouth, Cloud walked into the chocobo stable to feed them for the morning, and saw Danielle and Sephiroth sitting naked Sephiroth's cage.
"Did I interrupt something?"
