We now join the show already in progress... There is some SERIOUS Cloud bashing and injury in this chapter, don't like, then don't read it... but it's funny... and there is also Yuffie bashing (Literally) in this chapter as well!
Cloud stared at the naked duo as they lay in Sephiroth's cage. Danielle was getting mad.
Just then Cid opened the door, and sang to his prized birds, "Good morning! Good Morning! IT's time for break..." Cid just stared as he saw Danielle laying next to Sephiroth, both naked.
"Fast." Danielle finished the word for him and quickly got dressed.
Cloud was turning several different shades of red and purple and blue, without Danielle's help.
Danielle stood up and stared at them, "Do you MIND?"
Cid was so shocked, he dropped his cigarette, something that he only did in the game once. "D...Danielle, wasn't I enough for you?"
Danielle smiled, "Sure, you would be enough if I was just any normal woman, but I am not a normal woman, I am Danielle Valentine, and I have one hell of a veracious sexual appetite that one man alone cannot and should not try to subdue!"
Cid looked at Sephiroth, who gave him a big grin, "Shut your pie hole, before I shut if for you!" He sneered.
"Now Cid, don't be hurting my other partner, or no good-loving for you for another month!"
"B...b...b...b..." Cid shut up.
"Good, now, for this intruder..." Danielle turned to see Cloud with an anime type sweat drop on his forehead.
"Oh..OH! Can I help? Can I help?" Cid and Sephiroth both begged her.
Danielle nodded, "Suuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee you can help me... I need some help with this limit break anyways..." Danielle smiled, "SUICIDE RUN!" then drew her sword and plunged it deep into Cid.
"Fuck" Cid said as he fell flat on his face.
"Now, go fight for me my minions!" Danielle said, unlocking Sephiroth's cage and pointing at Cloud, who was frozen in fear.
Cid raised from the dead, er, passed out state and came towards Cloud, intent on putting his spear sideways up his rump. Sephiroth smiled and would have to fight using his bare hands, seeing as his favorite sword was hidden away from him for good reason.
Beth was passing outside, thinking that the chocobos were being fed and watered when she heard blood curdling screams.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PUT THAT SPEAR AWAY-AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Beth was curious and poked her head in to investigate.
There was Sephiroth and a dead Cid, pummeling a mush-like Cloud.
"Danielle..."
She was laughing, still sitting on top of Sephiroth's cage.
"DANIELLE!"
Danielle looked at Beth.
"Can I help?"
Danielle pointed and laughed, "Sure, go right ahead."
So Beth joined in on the pummeling.
Cloud sat in the front of the Highwind, attached to several tubes and four I.V.s. He was in a full body cast, save for the small rag laid over a stratigic place in his anatomy for proper usage. Danielle sat talking to the now alive Cid, and the now caged Sephiroth. Beth and Kukarui were chatting, playing Chess, and Vincent was cleaning his gun, (NOT that gun, his Death Penalty, damn you perverts!) Tifa was sitting next to Cloud, half asleep and Barret was dozing off for a moment and Nanaki was reading. Yuffie was no where to be seen.
Danielle smiled, and sat on Sephiroth's lap, while playing with Cid's hair.
Kukarui smiled, "Check mate again..."
Nanaki thought aloud, "And so... if that is true then..."
Vincent's gun accidently discharged and shot Cloud in the groin. Through his full body cast, Cloud muffled in pain until Tifa hit the morphine button. Cloud was quiet.
Yuffie came bouncing in, being way too cheerful for a Monday morning. "Good morning!"
Beth caught sight of her and grumbled, she wasn't too fond of this peppy youngster, and Yuffie knew it and used it to irk Beth as much as possible.
"Morning Vinnie..." Yuffie said, stopping by the man who had just put his gun away.
"Morning Yuff..." Vincent grumbled, knowing very well that Beth didn't like Yuff-n-Stuff to talk to him. He tried to distract her.
"I had a gooooooood dream last night Vinnie..." Yuffie said. Danielle caught wind of Beth's eyes beginning to glow blood red.
"That's nice, why don't you run along now?" Vincent said, really trying to get her away from him, otherwise she would be hurt.
"Don'tcha wanna hear about it?" She smiled.
"No." Vincent frowned.
"Okay, it was about me, in this rose field, all beautiful yellows and whites and..." Yuffie went on as Beth stood up. Danielle stood up too and stopped her.
"Trust me, I know something that will be entertaining and fun, plus you can hurt Yuffie..." Danielle gave her evil grin.
"And YOU were there with me Vincent..." Yuffie went on, Vincent had cowered deep inside his cape, trying to hide from the ambitious youngster.
Danielle came up and tapped Yuffie on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Miss Yuffie, is it? I want to give you some candy..." Danielle held a bag behind her back.
"Candy?" Yuffie said, "Let me have it!"
Danielle stuffed a big handful of wrapped candy down Yuffie's throat. Yuffie swallowed it with eyes wide. "Wh...what did you just do?"
Beth was behind Yuffie, tying her wrists behind her. She laughed as she finished the knot, "She's turned you into a human pinta!"
Danielle smiled, "And we all get to try to get the candy out of you..."
Beth threw the loose end of a rope around a high beam and then tied the opposite end around Yuffie's secured wrists.
"Second floor, socks, locks, smocks, clocks and liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingerie!" Beth pulled on the rope, suspending the poor girl about ten feet off the floor.
"Get me down from here you old coots! Let me down!" Yuffie twisted and pulled, but those knots held her fast.
"No, not that way Yuffie," Beth said, "We have to get you down in a traditional pinta way."
Yuffie's eyes grew wide, "Wh...what are you going to DO?"
Danielle grabbed Cid's spear and smiled, "Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh who wants to take a wack at our pinta?"
Sephiroth jumped up and down happily, "Me! ME!"
Danielle smiled, "Okay, we each get one hit!" She handed the spear to Sephiroth.
"Hey, aren't you suppose to be, like, blindfolded?" Yuffie called, still struggling against the ropes.
"Rules, smules..." Danielle said, "Besides, it's easier this way." She unlocked Sephiroth's cage.
Sephiroth came running up and threw back the spear.
CRACK right against Yuffie's rib cage, making the sound of a ripe watermelon, the spear hit hard.
"OUCH!" Yuffie cried.
"Okay, whose next?" Danielle said, grabbing the spear from Sephiroth and kicking him back into his cage. The unforgiving bars stopped his forward momentum with no say so from Sephiroth.
"I'd like to take a wack at it!" Barret smiled, "Stupid little bitch always taking our materia!"
Danielle handed the weapon to the now awake Barret, who did an impressive wind up, pitch and...
THUD! the spear hit Yuffie across the top of the head, hence quieting her for several minutes.
"Nicely done Barret, now we won't have to hear her cry..." Danielle smirked, "Who wants to go next?"
Tifa was excited, "Can I try?"
Danielle handed the spear to Tifa, who jumped up high and smacked Yuffie across the back, then across the chest.
WACK! CRACK!
"Nice, but Tifa, each person gets only ONE hit..." Danielle said, taking the weapon back from the other female.
"Sorry, I have 2X Cut equipt..." Tifa blushed.
"Quite alright..." Danielle said, "Cid? You want a wack at this?"
Cid nodded but didn't take his spear, instead he cast Knights of the Round Table. Each and every one of the thirteen Knights got a good smack in.
SMACK!
WACK!
THUD!
CRACK
SMASH!
BREAK!
CRUSH!
BOOM!
WAP!
CRASH!
SMUSH!
SMUDGE
and the big one, King Arthur himself looked at the now creamy Yuffie and lifted his sword high above his head and...
CLANG!
Danielle let out a cry of glee, "I think some of me is wearing off on the boy!"
Vincent's turn came next, he gladly took the spear and smirked wildly at Yuffie.
"This..." He spoke in his normal dark tone, holding the spear like a baseball bat, "is for all those 'Yuffentines' I see floating around the internet..." and with that he drew back and CRACK
The sickening crackling of bone was echoed throughout the entire ship. Nanaki stood up.
"Kindly, kindly, guys, think, our sick bay cannot hold anymore people, so would you please stop making our crew and group resemble common breakfast foods?" Nanaki said.
"Whatever do you mean?" Beth said, smiling, holding the spear.
"Right now, Yuffie is on the verge of looking like runny scrambled eggs." Nanaki said.
"I don't like eggs..." Cid said, lighting up, and offering Danielle a light.
Danielle took the light, "Tough, Yuffie is a brat anyways... our sick bay can handle one or two more..."
"TWO?" Nanaki said, his tail now between his legs, "What do you mean by... two?"
Beth took a crack at Yuffie, and that broke the rope, and sent Yuffie, tied and out cold, flying out of the room.
"Danielle..." Nanaki said, backing away.
"Yes..." Danielle tried to look innocent but was failing miserably.
"D...d...don't hurt me..." Nanaki said quietly, stilll backing away.
"I won't..." Danielle said.
Nanaki wasn't watching where he was going, and ended up backing down into a heater vent, that had been uncovered so it could be cleaned and fixed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." Nanaki's voice faded out of hearing range.
Everyone left in the room laughed, everyone but Kukarui, who took off down the grate after her mate. "I'm coooooooommmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggggg ffffffffooooooorrrrrrrrrrrr yyyyyyyyooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu..." Her voice as well became just a whisper.
"Cid, where does that go?" Danielle smiled.
"It goes down to the boiler room." Cid said, taking a drag off his smoke.
"Will they be alright?" Beth sounded worried, "I like Nanaki..."
"They'll be good 'n' fine." Cid said, "I have crew down there and they will keep an eye out fer 'em."
"Good, killing Yuffie is one thing, but killing Nanaki is another." Beth smiled, putting up the chess set.
"Where do you guys want to go today?" Cid asked, taking the ships' controls.
"Hmm mm! Hmm! Hmpt!"
"Right, Cloud says we should go make good use of our 70th floor card key!" Tifa said.
"You can understand that?" Beth looked at her quizzically.
"Sure." Tifa smiled.
"Hmm hmpth! Hmm mm mmmm!"
"He says he will pay me all his gil!" Beth laughed.
"No, he asked if someone could spare a Cure3 or FullCure?" Tifa scowled.
Beth hid her bangle that showed she had a charged Cure 3. "I can't, I don't have Cure materia."
"Nope,"
"No"
"Uh-uh."
"Nope, sorry"
"Negative"
"None on me."
Tifa glared around the room,"Someone has GOT to have a Restore materia on them..."
The room filled with the sounds of 'innocent' whistles, all off key.
"BETH!" Tifa cried.
"Who? ME?"
"Yes, you, come over here and cure this poor man..." Tifa grumbled.
Beth saw the glint in Tifa's eyes and knew better, if she didn't want to become just another kill on Tifa's Final Heaven scoreboard, she'd do as Tifa asked right now. "Fine, fine..."
Beth reluctantly cast Cure3 on Cloud.
Danielle grinned, "Now, we get to remove those casts... Nurse Beth?"
Beth suddenly appeared in a nurse's uniform "Yes Doctor Danielle?"
Danielle was now dressed as a doctor, in bright green scrubs, "Bring me the buzz saw..."
Beth grinned evilly, "Very well, dull or sharpened?"
"Dull..."
