"Insanity of the Vespa Woman"
By: Ggultra2764
Chapter 3: Reactions
Haruko brakes up to the entrance to Hinata Inn containing a nauseous Keitaro who vomits from the intense speed of the Vespa after it stops.
"If you threw up on any part of my Vespa, I'll hit you with my guitar."
"What? I'm not the one who just drove up the hill from Hinata Inn in less than twenty seconds flat."
"I'm just kidding, Kei-kun. Do you have to take everything so seriously? It's no wonder you can't create a good harem like Tenchi Muyo with all the girls liking you."
"Tenchi had the girls fighting amongst themselves for his affections. And it was only two girls. Naru's assault on me earlier is just a small sample of what I normally have to deal with here at the inn."
"What about that cute looking girl that came out earlier when I ran you down? The one who looked like she was in junior high with the blue hair."
"You mean Shinobu-chan? She's the only girl at the inn who treats me okay. All the others treat me like bleep. Huh, what's up with that sound."
Keitaro and Haruko are instantly taken to a room of white with a figure in black, the fanfic creator, Ggultra2764.
"Oops. I didn't think you'd get this profane, Keitaro."
"Gomen. It's just your creative talent."
"You're wasting our time, Ggultra." Haruko starts to load up a shotgun shell into her guitar which shocks both Keitaro and Ggultra2764, especially Keitaro who's more shocked over the fact that Haruko can also use her guitar as a shotgun.
"Okay, okay, okay. No need to get this violent so early in the fanfic. Do you want me to raise the rating to a PG-13 so you can do what you want?"
"Yeah, I'd appreciate that so this fanfic isn't restricted to kiddy games." Haruko sets her guitar back on her Vespa.
"Just avoid the use of gratuitous violence, sex, and graphic dialogue. I don't want this fanfic to be out of reach for the mainstream readers. Now I'll take you guys back to the inn. Now redo your dialogue, Keitaro."
"Hai, Ggultra-sama," Keitaro exclaims.
Both Keitaro and Haruko are whisked back to the Hinata Inn as Keitaro redoes his dialogue at a PG-13 rating.
"You mean, Shinobu-chan? She's the only girl at the inn who treats me okay. All the others treat me like crap."
"If they make your life hell as you say they do, I shouldn't let them hurt you, Kei-kun. Come on." Haruko takes Keitaro by the hand as she scrambles into the inn.
"Wait, what are you doing," Keitaro yells.
"Meeting the residents. I only introduced myself to Shinobu, so I have yet to meet the others." She says this as they are running inside the inn with Keitaro unable to quickly think up of any way to calm Haruko down as they enter.
When Haruko gets to the doorstep, she shouts out in an attempt to sound like a cute anime girl, "Minasa, odaiba." She is still holding onto Keitaro as his body looks limp like a sack of potatoes from Haruko's rush into the inn. He snaps out of his daze as he becomes annoyed at Haruko.
"Why are you acting so casually?"
"Because I'm now a resident here, aren't I?"
"But you've never been in here before. You don't want everyone to get a bad impression of you."
Naru, Kitsune, and Shinobu come upon both Haruko and Keitaro as Haruko is still holding onto Keitaro's hand during his commotion. Shinobu gets very flustered over the sight she is seeing. Naru is holding up a fist with an eyebrow twitching as she looks ready to punch Keitaro. Kitsune looks amused over the circumstances as she looks delighted to see Naru's incoming massacre on Keitaro as she starts to rush toward him.
"Keitaro, what do you think you are doing with a new resident," Naru yells as she is rushing towards Keitaro with one of her punches. Keitaro looks very scared as he looks ready to take the punch like he normally does. However before the punch makes contact, Haruko pushes Keitaro face first to the floor from her hand as she uses that same hand to block Naru's punch and forms their locked hands into a hand shake.
"Haruko Haruhara, nice to meet you." Haruko greets Naru with a grin on her face
Kitsune has her jaw dropped in shock at how quick Haruko was able to quickly block Naru's punch as Shinobu walks over to Keitaro's dropped body on the floor to see if he's okay. Naru has a surprised expression on her face with the blocked punch.
"I never got to properly introduce myself earlier."
"You're that moped driver that ran Keitaro down earlier."
"Well, I wasn't the one who field goal kicked him out of town. But, yes, I did run him down by accident. A gust of wind blowing around cherry blossom petals obscured my view and I couldn't see clearly when I ran him over."
Naru's annoyed expression changes to a baffled one as she hears Haruko's confession.
"Cherry blossoms? I thought Kitsune had to sweep them up today."
"You mean the girl with her eyes shut right there," Haruko asks pointing over at Kitsune.
"Yeah."
"She wasn't out there when I came up to the inn earlier today."
With her cover blown, Kitsune tries to tiptoe up the stairs in an attempt to avoid the conversation. But, to no avail, as an annoyed Naru shifts her attention to her dear best friend.
"Kitsune, what was so important for you to leave Keitaro in charge of raking up the cherry blossoms this afternoon."
"Uhhhh…. A family emergency," Kitsune nervously says.
"Nice try. You went out to the bar again did you? You're trying to avoid taking responsibility again and shift it over to Keitaro? Just because he's the manager of the inn doesn't mean he takes responsibility for everything here. All of us have to make some sort of contribution to earn our keep here at Hinata Inn. What did you do this time to have Keitaro do the chore he assigned to you?"
"Blackmail," Kitsune says as her nervous look becomes more confident. She obviously wants to see Keitaro at least get some sort of beating for having this new resident unintentionally rat her out knowing that Naru would respond to any of Keitaro's "perverted" actions.
While this conversation goes on, Haruko looks on in a mixture of curiosity and amusement. Meanwhile, Keitaro finally recovers from having his face slammed to the floor by Haruko minutes ago as Shinobu looks down at him.
"Are you okay, Sempai?"
"I'm fine, Shinobu-chan."
As Keitaro is getting up, he listens in on Naru and Kitsune's conversation hearing the blackmail portion getting very nervous as he tries to prevent Kitsune from blabbing about his accident with Shinobu.
"What sort of blackmail," Naru asks.
"Don't tell her, Kitsune-san." Keitaro yells as he interrupts their conversation. He gets punched in the face by Naru as he is knocked to the floor.
"Don't interrupt, Keitaro. Now, Kitsune, what did you blackmail Keitaro about?"
"Two weeks ago while Shinobu was cooking dinner, Keitaro had tripped into Shinobu and fell onto her having his hand on…" Kitsune is interrupted when she has a full bottle of wine stuck up to her face. The wine is being held by Haruko.
"What are you doing interrupting, Haruko-san," Naru asks.
"Is that French wine?"
"Yep."
"Kitsune, what about Shinobu and Keitaro two weeks ago," Naru interrupts.
"Don't interrupt, Naru. You have French wine, Haruko?"
"Yeah, I got this when I stopped into Kyoto on my way here from a French dealer. He provides plenty of it, though I don't drink. I was going to give this to Kei-kun as a token of my appreciation for letting me stay here, but I guess you could have it."
Naru lets out a bewildered look at Haruko's addressing of Keitaro as "Kei-kun." Meanwhile, Kitsune's eyes burst open as she lets out excitement over the wine as she starts to run up the stairs to her bedroom forgetting of the current conversation she is in.
"Kitsune, what about the blackmail?"
"Who cares about it right now? This is exquisite, fine French wine. I'm not going to deny the opportunity to drink this. Thanks for the wine, Haruko. I won't mind you being here."
Kitsune then rushes all the way upstairs to her room with the bottle of wine.
"That woman, she can't help herself to being offered alcohol," Naru mutters. She then turns her attention back to Haruko looking a little annoyed as Keitaro is standing up from being punched by her earlier.
"Haruko-san, why are you addressing Keitaro in such a way?"
"What way?"
"As 'Kei-kun?' You two just met each other"
"That's what I've been wondering as well," both Shinobu and Keitaro say at once. Upon hearing Shinobu say this, Keitaro, Naru, and Haruko turn their attention towards Shinobu as the 13-year old's face displays a visible blush of embarrassment on her face.
"Ummm, this is none of my business from this point on. I'll start getting ready for bed. Good night Urashima-sempai, Naru-sempai, Haruhara-san." She then scrambles up the stairs. Naru, Haruko, and Keitaro then return to their conversation.
"You're wondering why I call Kei-kun, Kei-kun?"
"Yes," both Naru and Keitaro say at once.
"Because if Kei-kun is immortal, I'll need his help in retrieving something for me." Haruko grabs onto Keitaro and caresses her cheek onto Keitaro's cheek as this is obviously getting Keitaro quite flustered and Naru quite angry.
"Haruko-san," Naru yells, "Cut that out."
"What? Are you two actually a couple?" The question makes Naru flustered as well with a visible blush appearing on her face.
"No. Why would I be in love with a two-timing, perverted, stupid, worthless, failure of a manager like that guy?"
"You're embarrassed aren't you?"
"Shouldn't Keitaro be taking you to your room right now?"
"Oh, I forgot that I haven't unpacked yet. Silly me."
Haruko rushes outside and a few minutes later, brings in a giant yellow traveling bag and her guitar. She then grabs onto Keitaro's arm dragging him upstairs much to his dismay and embarrassment.
"Come along, Kei-kun. You need to show me where my room is." She then rushes up the stairs in a similar speed that Kitsune ran earlier on with the French wine Haruko gave her.
"Good night, Narusegawa," Haruko says when she rushes up stairs with Keitaro.
"You still haven't met Motoko-chan and Su-chan yet, Haruko-san," Keitaro yells out as he's rushed upstairs by Haruko.
"Don't worry, you still have time to introduce the other two residents to me after I unpack. It's only eight at night right now," Haruko yells out as well while running upstairs.
Downstairs, Naru is in a mixture of annoyance and confusion over Haruko's actions and declarations during their meeting.
"That woman is a strange one. I noticed earlier today how she dodged my kick to Keitaro and how she blocked my punch. She also called Keitaro, Kei-kun, and said she needed him for something. By the way she's skilled, she wouldn't need neither my help nor Motoko-chan's help in dealing with that pervert. But what did she mean by that she needed Keitaro's help in "retrieving something" for her? For now, I'll just have to accept her presence here at Hinata Inn. Oh well, I need to get to my room for more studying for Toudai's admission exams."
Naru then proceeds upstairs as she has chosen to ignore today's happenings to focus on her own life and not rush to conclusions about Haruko.
Chapter 3 Ended
Next Chapter: The Sword vs The Guitar
Haruko is introduced to Motoko and Su by Keitaro. Motoko starts to develop her own suspicions on Haruko as well however and takes matters into her own hands to learn more about Haruko.
Japanese Terms:
Gomen- Sorry
Minasa- Everyone
Odaiba- Equivilant to "I'm home." Normally addressed by those entering a familiar household.
Honorifics were a little more rampant in this chapter, so I'll post the meaning of those as well in case some of you feel a little lost.
San- The equivilant to Mr. / Mrs. / Ms. Normally addressed towards people whom you aren't too familiar with.
Sama- Acknowledges a very high level of respect. Obviously, Keitaro holds a lot of respect in me for creating the ideas of this fanfic.
Chan- Normally addressed towards girls younger than you. It's also usually addressed towards young boys, though it's quite insulting to call older boys –chan.
This chapter is actually much longer in length than I originally expected it to be. I've raised this fanfic's rating to a PG-13 in the event that my story goes a little too far with some of its content and to avoid feeling the wrath of Haruko's guitar. Anyway, please review this fanfic and I'll find some time to write up Chapter 4 to "Insanity of the Vespa Woman."
